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Is living together a good idea?

Yet another of my male friends decided to take the big plunge: asking their girlfriend to move in. I guess this is their way of determining if they can handle a full time, 24/7 relationship? I have yet to see any of my male friends make their live-in girlfriend a wife, but I don’t know if that is even a goal.

I have never lived with a boyfriend. I can barely handle sharing space for a weekend trip! I am sure adjusting to living with a girlfriend/boyfriend is vastly different when you are married. Maybe living together is a good idea for people who are unsure about the idea of marriage and cohabitation?

What happens in a “shacking up” relationship that can’t/won’t happen in a marriage? Why is the idea of living with someone so much easier than marrying them?

Have you ever lived with someone you dated? Do you have any advice for a coupe considering the idea?

Ladies, if you were in a serious relationship, would you be disappointed or elated about being asked to move in?

Happy Monday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

194 comments Add your comment

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 24th, 2012
7:36 am

Morning All

Have never lived with a girlfriend, don’t believe in playing house without a license. I guess to so many you think that if things don’t work out you can just walk away, but the reality of it is, when people start living together they start putting finances, kids and everything else together, getting dependent on each other. It’s not as easy as you think to walk away then. I would rather go through a divorce so everything is spelled out than end up on Peoples Court or any other court trying to decide who’s responsible for what!

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
9:04 am

I think that, like S/H said, people view living together as less of a committment than getting married. And I think that’s one of the reasons that those relationships fail. The legally binding part of a marriage makes it harder to walk away from than a co-habitation relationship. Just my opinion.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 24th, 2012
9:08 am

I don’t condone people living together although when two grown adults decide to that’s their business and it’s no bother to me. I don’t know what it’s like personally to live unmarried with a woman but I would be open minded to a discussion. If we live together thoughts of marriage shouldn’t be that far out in our future.

Good Morning:

disco

September 24th, 2012
9:12 am

good morning all. where’s ITL? I ask because already I’ve heard “how was your weekend” more times than I think is necessary. I don’t think I’ve ever asked a co-worker how there weekend was yet every Monday it’s the same old thing.

on topic – me, myself, personally – I’ve never done the shacking thing. there was a time when I would have been dead set against it but I’m not as against it as I once was. to each his/her own and, like BF said, what grown folks do is grown folks business. certainly no concern of mine. as with most things I can see pros and cons of the living together arrangement.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 24th, 2012
9:16 am

Hey Comon, morning to you. I’ve seen many relationships fail because one party got angry and left in the other in a hell hole.

disco

September 24th, 2012
9:19 am

I have an aunt who lived with a guy since way back in the early 80s. they only just got married about 5 years ago. the wedding day went a little something like this. they worked different shifts. he was at the bar having a drink with friends. she said she went by the bar, picked him up, drove by the district justice, got married right quick, she took him back to the bar and dropped him off and then she went to work.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 24th, 2012
9:21 am

Morning disco I used to be set against it too now I’ve softened up a little. Yeah it has it’s good, bad, and ugly.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 24th, 2012
9:26 am

LOL…….@disco I had a manager do the same on her lunch break. On her lunch break she met her fiance at the court house signed the papers and came back to work. Then went to Las Vegas with a female co-worker everyone felt she was having an affair with. I tell you folks never cease to amaze.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
9:34 am

disco~ I am sure ITL is still recovering from the weekend. GA game was apparently off the chain. I didn’t go because I got tickets to the GA Tech game from a friend and it was great right up until Tech made a stupid move in overtime and lost. SMDH… Idiots, I tell ya!

BF~ And that’s usually the way it goes.

BTW, Good Morning to all!

disco

September 24th, 2012
9:44 am

I think the blog monster sometimes jacks posts just because it can.

disco

September 24th, 2012
9:47 am

I also wonder where all the jacked posts go. I bet that would make for some entertaining reading. the blog monster is selfish. just doesn’t want to share the good stuff. okay. I’m tripping. sorry. lol.

Sara

September 24th, 2012
9:47 am

I swore I would never live with a boyfriend before being married… and truth be told, I would have never lasted 2 days with any previous boyfriend. However, in my experience, when you meet the right guy, you just love being around them so much, you don’t want to part. I met my fiance (we’re getting married in 2 weeks!) 4 years ago and about 3 months after dating he asked me to move in. I said “no”, but as the years went on, more of my stuff ended up at his apartment. We officially moved in to our own place together 2 months ago (a few months into engagement).

As much as I never wanted to do it this way, it sure has been nice to slowly get to know each other’s quirks, habits, and routines. It would have been quite the shock if we learned all of that at once right after the honeymoon :)

ThirdWheel

September 24th, 2012
9:49 am

Never Ever Never Ever again will I make that horrible mistake of living with someone!! NEVERRRRRRR. I am still trying to escape my ex. Three more months to go….. I don’t think I am going to make it though. God has taught me a lesson… I am leaving a house that I PICKED out, GOT FINANCING for and SETUP! I am also leaving MY DOG that was given to me by MY FRIEND because I am a bad mother because I am never home anymore. He has turned me off from ever dating or trusting anyone ever again!!! Just say no people!! Unless you are getting married don’t do it!!!! Ok I’m done screaming…

SlimUno

September 24th, 2012
9:52 am

Morning folks! Blogging from the airport headed to Dallas. I have lived with my boyfriend before who is now my ex. I would not want to do that again without at least an engagement. I’m at my current beau’s crib a lot but have not moved in.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
9:53 am

3rd~ But don’t you think it would have been the same had you married him and moved in together? The only difference is it would have cost you more money to leave.

disco

September 24th, 2012
9:55 am

by the way, if I did shack up it would have had to be me moving in with him. I don’t think him moving in with me would work at all. lol.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
9:56 am

disco~ Somehow, I just couldn’t see you shacking. Dude would make you mad and you would have him so scared he’d leave his own house! :lol:

ThirdWheel

September 24th, 2012
10:00 am

Oh yea it probaby would have been worse because then I would be married to this loser. It’s going to cost me money reguardless. I mean I am having to break a lease and move to another place. I think God that I didn’t marry him!! I knew when he was talking about me charging my ring on MY credit card and him paying the bill I should run for the hills because now he doesn’t pay his bills at all… OMG I am just a bitter black woman….

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
10:10 am

3rd~ Why would you give him that much control over you and your life? Chalk it up to experience, learn from your mistakes and move on from that loser.

ThirdWheel

September 24th, 2012
10:16 am

@Comon it’s probably because I have to look at him on a daily basis. I’m trying to move on but time is not moving fast enough.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
10:22 am

I did the shacking up thing. I can firmly say that’s not something I’ll ever do again. We didn’t decide to move together, we just sort of “ended up” that way…lol It started out with him staying the weekends on to coming back on Monday evenings after work. Then it was stuff accumulating at my place. Next thing I know, so much had accumulated that I made space for his things. I can’t lie, it was good….the first couple of years. Nothing but lovemaking and hanging out. Problem set in though, when it was time to do something other than that or needing a break from one another or wanting to date someone else, etc. etc. etc….lol I would hang out with my girls and have guys interested (my interest peeked as well) but what could I do with that? Not a thing because I was living with someone. After living together some years, breaking up and making up more times than I can count, we decided living separate would be the best thing. Of course by then, there was a kid involved. Funny thing, he still tried to police me and my goings and was showing up about as much as he was when we lived together. I knew he wanted to move back in but I felt like I was granted a reprieve or something…lolololol I knew once we officially separated I wasn’t going back. We still hung out for a minute, did the mommie, daddie, kid thing, but I was done. I slept with him for a while because I needed some, didn’t want to take the (sex) plung with someone new and well, danggit he was good in bed…lol Even so, I was gone…heart and mind. Done. When the realization set it for him, he tried to get it back but by then I was sooooo happy happy happy to be free.

Anyhoo, no matter how good of a time we had together, there always seemed (for me), to be a void there. Something missing that I could never quite place my finger on. I don’t regret living together because I learned soooo much about a man and how he ticks, but to this day, I’m happy that we didn’t marry. I don’t have anything personal against him, he never came to being much.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
10:27 am

Slim, have fun on your trip!

My travel (I think next week), has been approved. It’s been a minute and I’m up for the challenge. I hope I’m scheduled to go on the day I have the golf tourney…lol

I feel like I’m talking to myself…lol

Lady – You reading?

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
10:31 am

C~ So do you think you would ever do the marriage thing considering you felt trapped living with dude?

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
10:37 am

CC – My life is not perfect but I LOVE where I am. I’m not against marriage though. I don’t typically get into feeling “trapped” when in relationships. He was just overbearing, insanely jealous and thought everything was the bed. I’ve said it a number of times on here, he never seemed motivated outside of looking good, smelling good and “feeling” good. Danggit, we gotta eat and live and have things. I cool hanging out (a lot) with a dude but you gotta be moving and shaking things up and making things happen. Not just humping like rabbits….and that’s all.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
10:40 am

cute story C~ ;)

lurking a bit but I feel ya with talking to yourself lol I feel like that too with my stories lol ;)

Happy Monday MIA! ;)

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
10:41 am

Heeey there Lady, what’s crackalackin? How was your weekend? We have to get on schedule for lunch/late luch.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
10:44 am

CC – I will say this, at this point and age in my life, there’s not so much of shaking and accumulating to be had as we’re well into our walk. Don’t get me wrong, growth is ever happening and we continue to evolve. But, I would say, at this point, a dude being established (as well as myself), is probably more of what would satisfy me.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
10:45 am

I will say this too….I AM SATISFIED, at this point in my life :mrgreen: Y’all caught what I said? :mrgreen:

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
10:48 am

Quiet Fall weekend with the people I love~ Yeah we do……..I will keep you posted! I have a date in mind for later October……..Soup & Salad lunch perhaps ~

disco

September 24th, 2012
10:49 am

C – that’s why I’m the chick that doesn’t even allow a toothbrush to hang out. take it with you or I’m throwing it away.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
10:49 am

Lady – Okay….just shoot me something. I could do Loca Luna again. I was impressed.

Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"

September 24th, 2012
10:50 am

To Shack or Not To Shack…I did it, but did with full intention of going the distance. We got engaged about a year in. I would not advise it for any gentleman who isn’t sure that is where the relationship is headed. Its inevitable that the lady will begin to feel that need.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
10:50 am

C~ I feel you on that! My first husband was that way. Turns out he was so concerned about what I was doing because he was out doing more than his share of dirt. :lol: He was also concerned with looking and smelling good, having the “right” car, etc. I would rather it look bad on the outside and be good on the inside than vice versa. Also, it’s very hard for me to feel romantic and lovey-dovey if I am worried about how we are going to pay the bills next month.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
10:51 am

I have shacked once~ Don’t have to do it again~ I do look forward to marrying and sustaining~

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
10:52 am

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
10:54 am

disco – LOL…yeah, I was thinking that after a few years into that thing. “Dang, when are you going home?” Ooops, by then it was home…lol

I remember one of the times we were on the “outs” and I apparently was sleeping hard as I didn’t hear him knocking. I lived on the 2nd floor of an apartment. It was my birthday. I wasn’t with anyone during the outs, had the kid, felt sort of depressed that I didn’t do anything for my birthday and went to bed early. My neighbor said he knocked on my door for the longest time…lol Said he was saying “Celisea, c’mon, open the door.” She said when she opened her door, he left. He called the next day and was hot with me…lol Well, heck I didn’t hear him! He’d showed up to surprise me. Oh well…I missed that one.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
10:54 am

disco~ Do you remember that episode of Living Single when Overton and Kyle are going out and he asks Kyle if he should break out the guest toothbrush and Kyle says no because tonight he is looking for the kind of woman who brings her own? That is what your statement at 10:49 made me think of. :lol:

Into the Light

September 24th, 2012
10:56 am

Morning, all!

LOL@disco. Stuck in the land of nosy people. :)

@CC: Yep – the game was AMAZING and a great time was had by all. I thought you would text/email to let me know you were/were not gonna make it by. *shrugs*

disco

September 24th, 2012
10:58 am

CC – I do remember that episode. a lot of that is nothing but blocking. some dudes (and chicks) want to come over and leave stuff just in case somebody else is there. who has time for it? I got a start on cleaning out the closets for the seasonal wardrobe change-out and realized that I still have a few of my son’s belongings in a spare closet. I figure he hasn’t lived in my house for 5+ years. he’s no longer a “transitional” college student. his stuff has to go. like he can still fit that prom suit. lol.

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
11:17 am

Morning Gang!!

Hoping to be back on a more “regular” blogging schedule!LOL!

Light – Another SLAUGHTER by the mighty DAWGS!!!

Po little NATS(Tech) :lol:

On topic – To each his/her own, but never shacked. My parents were dead set against it, so I kept that in mind. Had one to tell me he was considering marrying me but would not unless we shacked for awhile first. I took it as a threat because I was not too long out of my parents house & he knew how I felt about such. Needless to say I stuck to my guns. He was still wanting to marry even after I refused, but other things broke us up.

I only moved in with my now husband about a month before the wedding. He had children and we wanted to set a good example.

I don’t feel I missed anything by playing house with any of my ex bfs at all. I would tell anyone to not even consider it unless you are already engaged and wedding date set. Moving in cause you think that will get you closer to marriage – well I’ve seen it work but not very often. I don’t care what anyone says, you are just practicing living in the same place together, not practicing “marriage”. The same level of committment is NOT there, even if it’s just subconscious. There is no motivation to make it work and no vows to honor and respect.

disco

September 24th, 2012
11:21 am

hey there kimmie. I agree in general but have to add that for everyone marriage isn’t always the end goal. for some it’s pure economics (a roommate with benefits situation). for others it’s simply “I want to be with you and I don’t care if we never get married”. I’m not denying that there are those out there who think shacking will ultimately lead to the proposal but some don’t even desire marriage.

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
11:27 am

disco – I totally agree, that’s why I say to each his/her own. I just wish folks would really be true to themselves and be honest with themselves and who they get involved with about what they want. If you really want that ring, speak up, stand your ground and don’t settle for less. You will be amazed at the level of respect you get for your honesty. Stop being afraid you’re going to scare someone away that truly isn’t yours anyway at the end of the day.

Robert

September 24th, 2012
11:28 am

“Do you have any advice for a coupe considering the idea?”

In my lifetime I have learned – “never to say never”. It depends on what stage you are in you life. For example;

I would never consider “shacking” if –
1. I was a young man or woman (20-30).
2. You are still immature and are learning about life, sex, money and responsibility.
3. You probally just left your mother’s house and never had your own place.

1. I was a mature man or woman (30-40).
2. You already had a life (husband, wife, kids, house, bills, etc.) and are know divorced.
3. You filed bankruptcy after divorce and are still trying to play catch-up on your bills.

The only way I would consider “shacking” and giving up my freedom and power to choose who, what and where I want to work, love, live and play –

1. Marry a very rich woman who only wants all my love, passion & desire.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
11:28 am

Marriage was NOT top of mind for me when I cohabitated. So, no it was not my lifelong goal…lol I did’t wish for it neither was I delusional about it…lol

Really, what’s the huge difference in living together versus spending weekends or nights or getaways or vacationing? IMO, unless it’s marriage first, then living together and consummating as a married couple, I don’t see that huge of a difference.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
11:32 am

ITL~ Sorry no phone call. It was all very last minute. I am glad that GA won, but my poor little Yellow Jackets are having a hard time with the concept of overtime obviously. hat had to be one of the stupidest plays ever. Not only that, we did it in the game against VA Tech, so you would think that they would have learned by now. SMDH…

kimmie~ Leave my nats jackets alone. Let me lick my wounds in peace, please…

disco

September 24th, 2012
11:32 am

C – what’s the difference? I can’t speak for everyone but for me the difference is one’s ability to GO HOME. lol. heck, I know sometimes I get sick of folks when they are just visiting, watching a movie or something. need for them to hurry up and get up out of my space.

Robert

September 24th, 2012
11:32 am

Robert’s Rules of Dating – Is living together a good idea? (Shacking)

Top 10

1.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
11:34 am

disco – I would never do it again but I don’t get why it’s considered taboo if you’re doing the same thing but in smaller dosages…lol If you spend the weekend or spend a week vacationing or a night or two here or there….THERE’S NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE IN THAT AND LIVING TOGETHER!!! lolololololol

disco

September 24th, 2012
11:36 am

C – so what you are really doing is calling folks out on fornicating? lol.

Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"

September 24th, 2012
11:37 am

Celisea-the huge difference is just that….spending nights, weekends, getaways are time limited, you will be leaving at some point, going back to your own space, even if its just for a moment….living together, your own space is not your own space because you share that space…the nuiances of living with someone cannot be experienced when dating, staying over and such….there is an anticpation of this or that in the dating scenario-married or living together, you are just coming home…may still be a sizzle, but its a different sizzle.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
11:38 am

hmmm the one I lived with I married him and again it didn’t sustain…………….C it is no huge difference……one is really playing house with out the paperwork per se………we can justify however but if you ain’t married off the rip you have shacked lol~ so to speak bc the weekend in and out and weekdays sleepover ongoing long-term is somewhat the same thing lol it is what it is

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
11:40 am

I agree with Disco on the ability to go home. It’s just like taking care of someone elses kid – you can give them back to their parents. When you’re “all in” , ain’t no “going home” or “giving them back”. It’s more mental than anything, but very significant, at least to me.

A lot of times, “going home” was inconvenient and sad because I hated leaving my boo! But that’s a benefit of marriage I didnt yet have!

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
11:40 am

disco – Morally, it’s all the same…lololol

Jake – I get it. I’m just cutting up.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
11:41 am

but if you ain’t married off the rip you have shacked lol~ so to speak bc the weekend in and out and weekdays sleepover ongoing long-term is somewhat the same thing lol it is what it is

Lady, precisely….you get it.

Robert

September 24th, 2012
11:43 am

Robert’s Rules of Dating – Is living together a good idea?
(Shacking) – Top 10

1. Advice from grandma – Why buy the cow if the milk is free. Thank you grandma.
2. Never settle for less than you are worth (self esteem).
3. Never pay someone else’s way. Do not be a “sucker”.
4. Why have kids out of wedlock. Too many baby daddies.
5. Make the man responsible for his actions. Marriage should be the short-term goal.
6. Stand on your morale values. No sex until after marriage.
7. Make sure you see his/her credit report before you make any committments.
8. What about his/her family. Are they supportive or “ghetto”.
9. What about his/her friends. Are they supportive or “ghetto”.
10 What about Church and other activities. Is he/she “saved” Christians and serve in their community.

disco

September 24th, 2012
11:44 am

O/T – after wearing wedges for ever ever my little spike heel feels good today. I’ve got to do this more often.

celisea/lady – I got it but I figured we needed to be specific. let’s face it, the crime (so to speak) isn’t in the shacking so much as in the fornicating.

disco

September 24th, 2012
11:46 am

robert – you know I have to step in. what? folks can’t be supportive AND ghetto? lol.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
11:48 am

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
11:53 am

Lady – :mrgreen:

Grown folks should be able to do as they please. If there are bad decisions, that’s the thing about being grown, you can roll with it or roll on out. You ain’t gotta cry or fret…lololol It’s your life

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
11:54 am

I admire the practicality in the way my mom raised me. She didn’t expect any of us to “wait until marriage”, she was very real with it. She did break down the “why buy the cow” thing to us though. And beyond college, she also suggested we not move out until we could afford to live on our own and not need a roommate.

With me it was not really a moral thing. It was about me having the type of relationship and life I wanted. Second prize just was never enough for me. I’ve seen too many such arrangements not turn out the way I knew at least one party wanted.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
11:54 am

Disco adults do what they heck they wanna do so to speak daily~ I don’t justify my mess. I shacked and married and happily moved on to marry again one day~ ;)

Into the Light

September 24th, 2012
11:55 am

@Kimmie: HBTD!!! I was so proud of them on Saturday.

@CC: I understand…..and shoot, sending a text takes so long, I can see how you didn’t have time. :roll:

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
11:58 am

Light – I’ve been talking much trash to all non-Bulldogs within earshot! Everyone is sick of me at work!LOL!!!!

disco

September 24th, 2012
11:59 am

I know I’m not the only one that knows a faker. you know the chick that’s shacking but running around talking about her husband and in-laws all the time. lol.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
12:00 pm

That’s the chick who was bred to believe you have arrived if you marry….lolololololol

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
12:03 pm

DEAD LMBAO! lawd that was funny C~

Robert

September 24th, 2012
12:03 pm

The term “ghetto” was created in the 1920’s-30’s . It was originally created to denigrate the Jews and other immigrants who landed in NY City looking for a better way of life but found themselfs living in pure hell (gangs, violence, injustice). The word “ghetto” is a state of mind some people just can not escape not an actual place where people live. Today we see this mindset all over the place regardless of the persons economic or social status. For example the homegrown terrorist group(s) known as the “tea party” use “ghetto” tactics to insight hatred, fear and rage/mob mentality against the elderly, minorities, gays & lesbians, Muslims & Jews, etc. – The American People.

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
12:04 pm

disco – I work with a faker. She’s been living with dude for over 20 years. He’s much older than she & is now very sickly, so she has to be out alot with him. Other folks have gotten into referring to him as her husband, but I can never bring myself to do it, so I just refer to him by his name or her “boo”.

disco

September 24th, 2012
12:04 pm

celisea – how come I felt that laugh right there. old girl needs to make it happen or quit pretending. I worked with a chick once back when I lived in DC. she was always talking about her husband worked at the pentagon. what she meant was her husband was in prison in Virginia.

robert – I get the history of the term. just don’t understand why a so-called ghetto individual can’t also be supportive.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
12:05 pm

disco/Lady – :mrgreen:

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
12:06 pm

what she meant was her husband was in prison in Virginia.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

disco

September 24th, 2012
12:13 pm

kimmie – yep. she lived in southeast. hubs (if that’s his real title – lol) supposedly worked at the pentagon. thing is hubs had a “job” that prevented him from coming home at night and she had to go visit him at “the pentagon” fairly regularly.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
12:19 pm

I am looking forward to my weekend getaway coming up then preparing for homecoming~ we are entertaining this year and I can’t wait to host! ;) #random

i'm swiss

September 24th, 2012
12:20 pm

Happy Monday, peeps.

Ah, what a glorious weekend! DAWGS & Falcons roll. NATS & Ain’ts lose. :D

Tip of the hat to Todd Gurley, SEC freshman of the week for the 2nd time in 4 weeks and currently the SEC’s leading rusher (despite having 25 fewer carries than the 2nd leading rusher).

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
12:21 pm

disco – It’s sad when folks feel they have to lie. I would just be a very private person. No one would know what my bf/hubs did if it was something I was ashamed of. I probably wouldn’t even tell anyone I had a bf/hubs, therefore no expectations of me bringing him to the cookout or party, etc!! LOL!!!

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
12:23 pm

Yup Swiss it was a fun filled football weekend~ it was soothing cleaning my home opening windows putting away summer stuff washing everything then cooking dinner and watching football~

Into the Light

September 24th, 2012
12:31 pm

@Swiss: GREAT football weekend.

@kimmie/Swiss: I can’t believe we got another night kickoff. We’ve got the 3:30 game this week against Rocky Flop, but kickoff for the Carolina game is 7:00 on ESPN. It’s been a LONG time since I remember this many night games so early in the season.

Into the Light

September 24th, 2012
12:32 pm

Okay, off to lunch….

i'm swiss

September 24th, 2012
12:33 pm

ITL — The Football gods are looking out for me. We’ve got a baby shower at 2pm on the 6th — and you know your boy was sweating the kickoff time for that crackalacy game. The stars are aligning. :D

SlimUno

September 24th, 2012
12:35 pm

Cel – Thanks chica….layover in Charlotte right now so just peeping in errry now and then

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
12:39 pm

Good afternoon fellow bloggers! I just got to work 30 minutes ago…so glad I took half a day off today because I didn’t get home from the mountains until last last night.

How about them Dawgs?!?!?!?! Woot woot!!!

On topic: I will not make the mistake of shacking again unless there is a ring on my finger. I let my ex sneak his way in after only two months. We were in love and I didn’t want to be without him. Biggest mistake EVER!!!!

IF I ever live with a man again, there will be 100% commitment and we will be engaged and working on a future together.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
12:44 pm

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
12:50 pm

checking back in, so if you shacking how long should the “engagement” last? Just how many kids do you have to have before you stop saying my “fiance’”

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
12:51 pm

I understand…..and shoot, sending a text takes so long, I can see how you didn’t have time.

It wasn’t the time. I was out of the door before I thought about it and your # was in my email. I told you my phone is being janky about accessing my email (which you just reminded me I need to go by the store and have them fix) But hopefully, I will be able to catch you at one of the home games. Besides, let’s be real, if you were supposed to be comig to Bobby Dodd and at the last minute someone offered you tickets between the hedges, would you be running back to the house to get my number out of your email and possibly be late to the game?

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
1:04 pm

S/H~ IDK, but I know a couple that lived together for 10 years and had 4 kids. Within a year of them actually tying the knot, they were talking divorce. I think that the whole break down took about 2 years total. So, maybe some people should just leave well enough alone and shack… IJS.

Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)

September 24th, 2012
1:39 pm

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
1:44 pm

Comon from my experience of the folks I’ve known that shacked for all those years, they somehow thing something is supposed to change after saying I DO! How can anything change when you’re already and old married couple! There is no newlyweds, or honeymoon, you are usually way past that. If you shack for more than 6mths you are way past that IMO.

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
1:45 pm

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
1:52 pm

60 minutes C~ what a day! I need some hot tea and my bed~

disco

September 24th, 2012
2:03 pm

dang y’all. what’s up???

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
2:05 pm

Lady – I’m so not mad at you. Hot tea and bed eh? Sounds cozy to me :) I’m not leaving for a minute but I’m ready too.

2 hours, 55 minutes and counting…lol

Willie Dynamite

September 24th, 2012
2:08 pm

Afternoon All,

Shacking – Did it for a minute, got hitched, enjoying happily ever after.
i personally don’t have an opinion about YOU doing it one way or another. That is another personal decision thats mind in your home/heart and who am I to say whether its right or wrong. Do You and live with the result good or bad.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
2:09 pm

lol predictable C~

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
2:13 pm

Robert

September 24th, 2012
2:15 pm

@disco – “why a so-called ghetto individual can’t also be supportive.”

Point I was making about family and friends being “supportive” or “ghetto”. By “supportive” I mean;

1. Talk to someone who uses common sense and

2. Will tell you the pros and cons of “shacking” and about relationships.

3. Who can give you advice, or a place to sleep if you need it or

4. Be a real friend who only cares about you before you make the choice of “shacking” without discussing it with someone you trust.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:15 pm

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
2:15 pm

Hello Single and Happy :)

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:20 pm

stop watching that clock and enjoy the day :-)

disco

September 24th, 2012
2:21 pm

robert – mmm. okay.

hey there single and happiER

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
2:22 pm

Lady – I’m a bit excited to travel. Like I said earlier it’s been a mimute. My manager is in Boston today but we’re suppose to connect and discuss the details. I don’t have to place the expense on my corporate card but on the team that I’m going to be working with…lol My manager pulled some strings to get that one done…lol I can tell my her email this morning she’s going to make it as quick as possible…lol Or that’s been the message to her. I have a couple of friend there so we’re gonna hang out a bit (I hope), time permitting.

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
2:22 pm

Funny how I got to work at noon and the day has been dragging since then!!!

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
2:23 pm

1. Talk to someone who uses common sense

Why they gotta be using me?!? LMAO! :lol:

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:23 pm

Hello disco how you doing?

disco

September 24th, 2012
2:29 pm

by the way, re common sense. I used to be one of the folks who claimed that common sense wasn’t that common. I have since changed my stance. common sense is still quite common. thing is, what’s common to one person/group of people may not be common to the next person/group of people. who’s to say my common is better than your common? lol.

S/H – you shamed me. I am watching the clock instead of enjoying the day. if all goes well, when I finish watching the clock I’ll be able to salvage the day.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:30 pm

Here’s something to think about when shacking. This happened to a co-worker. They bought a house together, he died, his grown son decided he was going to move in and not pay in bills, she caught hell getting him out because he was her S/O next of kin! Now I could be wrong but had they been married, she would have been the next of kin. I’ve also know grown children to put people out when their S/O dies because their name isn’t on anything.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
2:30 pm

Good deal C~ I often wonder how working in Corporate America is~ The perks seems awesome but I know you and others have to work their butts off to get to those nice positions with time~ Enjoy Sis~ you know I will email you when you are away! lol

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:32 pm

Disco, I call that rushing your life away. and you’re right about common sense, it’s only common sense when it agrees with what I think.

Albert

September 24th, 2012
2:33 pm

Well, I’m single and I have never tried it, but I don’t see what would be so terrible about it. It would be far easier to be with the other person if you live together, and, not to sound crass, but easier also to have an ongoing physical relationship as well. No worrying about anyone walking in unannounced or showing up unexpectedly at the wrong moment, not having to plan when it’s convenient for one or the other, or when you can adjust your schedule for it.It would also let you discover the other person’s quirks much more easily, or would that ruin the relationship for some?

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
2:35 pm

Lady – I’m more excited to get with friends. One of the two friends sent me an edible arrangement when my pops passed. Cool as ever. Usually I’m good traveling a couple of days. Anything over three and I’m ready to head home…lol When I attended a conference at Reynolds Plantation, I almost forgot where I was sleeping…lol

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
2:36 pm

I can’t~ lol smh #dead C!!!!!

disco

September 24th, 2012
2:36 pm

S/H – you crazy. common is simply your experience and at the end of the day, all of our experiences are different.

back to shacking, if push came to shove, I could live with someone if I had to. I suppose if push really came to shove, they could live with me. no amount of pushing or shoving is going to get me to buy a house with somebody I’m not married to or related to by blood. bump that.

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
2:36 pm

S/H – Since I’ve worked at a financial institution since I was 18, I feel like I have to be in control of my own financial situation. I want the house in my name…my own credit cards…my own car. I don’t want to finance anything jointly. When I bought my house last year, I was in a LTR, but I knew that I needed to buy it based on what I alone could afford in case things didn’t work out with him (not like he contributed financially anyways). I have a good friend of mine who bought her house earlier this year with her boyfriend in mind of helping her out and he’s now unemployed and she’s struggling. She also wants out of the relationship, but really needs his help once he finds a job again. I will NEVER put myself in that situation…

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:37 pm

Albert, would that be the fun of being newlyweds?

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
2:38 pm

Friends are far and few between~ Enjoy them and chile enjoy those resorts! I am looking for a resort now for winter break~ traveling is fun!

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
2:40 pm

Thanks girlie. Yeah, that is usually one of the better perks, aside from spending money that’s not yours…lol One thing about me though, I’m not one that just spend to be spending..not their money. One chick in my group took her husband for a steak dinner….ON HER CORPORATE CARD. Needless to say she was having to “splain” herself and had to pay those charges. They don’t play about that kind of stuff.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 24th, 2012
2:40 pm

peace C~ refering back to this AM don’t talk to yourself~ lol I am OWT~ lol

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
2:40 pm

S/H~ That is like the lesbian couple in NY. The “husband” (for the sake of simplicity) worked in the twin towers. The wife was a stay at home mom to the 2 children they had adopted. The husband had not seen her family in over 10 years because they did not agree with her lifestyle. When she died in the twin towers, everything was in her name and, being relatively young, she had no will to protect her wife. Her “next of kin” came in and took the house, children and survivor benefits from the wife because there was nothing legally binding and nothing in her name. Sad, sad state of affairs. However you feel about gay marriage, that is just wrong.

DuShawn

September 24th, 2012
2:41 pm

I was once of the opinion that I would not marry a woman unless we lived together first. This would allow me to uncover all the little idiosyncrasies that she was able to hide. Years ago, I was in a serious, committed five year relationship. We got engaged and moved in together in year four. We never married. If I would have cohabitated with my current wife, I probably would not have married her either. Personally, I would prefer to find out after I’m all in that my lady is trifling and keeps a nasty bathroom. If I would have discovered that prior, I would have been out of there…..and missed out on three beautiful children and twelve wonderful years.

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
2:41 pm

Lady – Niiiight! :mrgreen:

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:41 pm

Bluz even with your scenario, if something happened to you, everything is in your name, and here comes your family telling him that he has to go.

Wants out of the relationship but really needs his help once he finds a job. But I guess since they never said for better or worse, that’s understandable!

Willie Dynamite

September 24th, 2012
2:43 pm

Cel – TRY to enjoy your travel. I would say handle your business but I know you will do that at all costs. Just make an effort to take off the BOSS title, unwind a little and enjoy the city and friends. Oh yeah plan a day to have you a real drink or two (safely of course).

Willie Dynamite

September 24th, 2012
2:45 pm

DuShawn – how are your lunch breaks coming along?

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:45 pm

comon yes that was wrong on so many levels but so many people do it, my advice to anyone shacking is take care of that business, because tomorrow is not promised to you, and wills and beneficiaries can always be changed!

Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"

September 24th, 2012
2:46 pm

Dayum Bluz…your friend sounds Skanky…..lets see.{translations in ()….}…bought house wit dude with plans of him helping (I can’t afford this place, but if you pitch in, I’m skrait), he lost his job, and she wants out, but needs his help (Dude, if you aren’t giving me any cash, I’m not interested, but I need you broke azz to get a job and help, so I will wait it out for minute)=I am gonna get rid of you and get some help in this beeyotch soon….cue Beyonce’s “Irreplacable”

Celisea

September 24th, 2012
2:46 pm

WillieD – What’s up! LOLOLOLOL….stoooop You now imma make the best of it, that’s with friends, unwinding and all…lol No BOSS title here…lol I don’t think :mrgreen: I hope I’m there a couple of evenings so I can let back and loosen up…. hahahahahahaha

DuShawn

September 24th, 2012
2:48 pm

_ Willie D_ I’m about three lunches deep.

disco

September 24th, 2012
2:51 pm

jake – I know a chick who purchased a new home. not even an existing home, had a home built. met a guy, moved him in and he decided he didn’t like her house. she invested in remodeling the house to his liking at her expense. new floors, countertops, cabinetry, you name it. meanwhile he contributed nothing to the household other than his penis. once they were driving home from some place. they had a disagreement in the car and he put her out of her own car. now I wish a MF would put me out of his car let alone mine but that’s just me. anyway, she carried him for a few years and he finally left her and married the next chick within 6 months of leaving. old girl was devastated.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:53 pm

Disco, umm sound like she was SOS (stuck on stupid)

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
2:55 pm

S/H – True…and my family sure would have kicked him out in a heartbeat!!!

Jake – my friend isn’t skanky…just not very smart. Funny thing is that she works with me and she’s seen what can happen to people financially when relationships don’t work out. She was there during me buying my house and I couldn’t tell you how many times I said that I would make sure to buy something that I can afford alone because I knew I couldn’t count on ex. I was very upset when I found out that she took on a higher mortgage payment with thoughts of his help. His mom has moved in temporarily also and pays some. If she were to kick them both out, she would probably have to get two part time jobs on top of her full time job to be able to afford it…I always thought she was smarter than that…

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
2:55 pm

disco~ Her name wasn’t Beatrice, was it?!? I have a friend with that EXACT same story.

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
2:56 pm

Wow disco…it’s bad enough to be supporting a man, but then to pay for changes in the home just because he doesn’t like them?!?!?! Wow is all I can say to that one…

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:57 pm

Bluz, but take that deadbeat out of the picture and replace him with someone who contributed to the household, do you think think they would have done the same thing?

His moms has moved in (rotflmao)

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
2:57 pm

Grown folks are going to do exactly what they want. But I would tell anyone NEVER get tangled up financially with someone you’re not married to. Heck, depending on that person’s credit, even if you marry! You can get yourself into some bad situations you cannot easily get out of.

Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"

September 24th, 2012
2:58 pm

Bluz-so you say…would he or mama be there if there was no financial contribution….NO…..sounds Skankalicious to me

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
2:59 pm

Disco, reminds me of the song “what you want do for love” (LOL) you’ve tried everything, but you want give up. (LOL)

disco

September 24th, 2012
2:59 pm

S/H – she is definitely stuck on stupid. always has been. she’s the type that pays for everything, co-signs for things, all that foolishness. her mom passed recently and she and her sister each got a nice chunk of change. true to her nature, she’s giving her money away. last I heard she gave some guy $5000. another friend and I predict she’ll run through the money in a year or so.

CC – no. that’s not her name. your girl got put out of her own car too? lol.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
3:00 pm

disco~ Not only did my girl get put out of her own car, dude then took her car and drove to AL to see his family and didn’t come back for dang near a week! :shock:

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
3:01 pm

disco~ You can have her make my check out to… :lol:

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
3:02 pm

Disco, you just hating cause you aint got no man (rotflmao)

disco

September 24th, 2012
3:02 pm

S/H – I have a cousin (lol – even I laugh at my cousin stories now). last year for her bday her little guy friend took her out, bought her this and bought her that. fast forward to his bday and I asked her what she was getting him. she laughed and was like “I’m not buying him anything. he can have all the booty he wants but he can’t have any money”. I don’t understand these chicks that carry men. don’t get me wrong, I’ll buy a gift here and there but I’m not paying car notes or nothing like that.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
3:02 pm

Comon, wodnt me (LOL)

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
3:04 pm

Disco, you wouldn’t even help me out with one note??

disco

September 24th, 2012
3:05 pm

S/H – to go old school. that was so funny I forgot to laugh. really though. that was funny.

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
3:05 pm

S/H…I think that if he contributed and wasn’t a deadbeat, that my parents would work with him. I don’t think they would kick a good man out on the streets. They would probably give him time to find a new place to live while they dealt with my house…

Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"

September 24th, 2012
3:07 pm

gotta go earn this paycheck….check back later

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
3:08 pm

Jake – no…they wouldn’t be there if they didn’t contribute at all. Now, she also has an issue because she wouldn’t want to kick the mom out. She loves her. She’s just ready to be done with the boyfriend.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
3:08 pm

Bluz, this a moot point cause I don’t shack, but if I’m contributing, you better have a will in place that takes care of me, and I will do the same, Your folks should have no say so in the situation.

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
3:09 pm

don’t get me wrong, I’ll buy a gift here and there but I’m not paying car notes or nothing like that.

Disco – we definitely see eye 2 eye on that!

On chick that decorated house for dude – I know she was hurt he married someone else & so quick, but really if she had married dude what would she have been getting? A sorry sack of sh–? Other chick is welcome to his behind! Yeah, she was SOS though!

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
3:09 pm

Question, why is it important that your family and friends be supportive of your relationship?

Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"

September 24th, 2012
3:09 pm

As Granny used to say…..uh,uh,uh

disco

September 24th, 2012
3:17 pm

okay guys. quick question. I know we’ve discussed who pays for dates to death but supposing a chick goes out and picks up a guy for a one night stand. she doesn’t want guy to go to her house. guys, do you take her to your spot or do you all get a room somewhere? if you get a room, does the guy pay or is he expecting the chick to pay since she did the picking up?

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
3:19 pm

S/H – I will gladly put my husband in my will, but not just an S/O. Then again, I don’t plan on every being in that situation again. If we are going to live together, then we better be planning a wedding. I don’t think I would mind weekend stays.

As far as why it’s important for your family and friends to be supportive, I guess for situations like we’ve been discussing. I had several friends who supported my last relationship, but not my family. Actually, after I kicked dude out, I found out several friends didn’t really support it, but they supported me and wanted me to be happy. Another lesson learned…I will listen better when my family and friends have issues with my S/O.

disco

September 24th, 2012
3:23 pm

btw – my girl who pulled the one night stand stunt actually did take dude back to her house which I got on her about. her thing was she felt safer at her house than at his house and that a hotel was a waste of money. some people.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
3:23 pm

Bluz/S & H~ I also think that it’s important for your family to support your relationship because otherwise holidays, family gathering, etc. can be really awkward.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
3:25 pm

IDK, disco, I ain’t doing the one night stand thing unless it’s in a furniture store. I figure I was to see an ASE certification before I let you look underneath the hood of my car and I can buy another car! This is the only puddy I have so I can’t be just letting dudes up in there all willy nilly. IJS…

kimmie

September 24th, 2012
3:27 pm

Single – I think it depends on a few factors to answer your question. I am very close to my family, well certain members anyway. They are the ones that have always been there for me and never steered me wrong. When I was much younger and could not see the forest for the trees, I thought they might have been not as supportive as they could have been with a few guys I dated. Hindsight being 20/20, I see EXACTLY what they saw! If I thought strongly they were wrong about a guy, I would go with my gut and do what made me happy. If they came around cool, if not, hey that’s life. It would hurt though, if they didn’t care for my husband. Happily, that is not the case.

Sometimes, family is all you have in this world, so it can be important, within reason.

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
3:29 pm

CC – Yes…family gatherings were a little awkward knowing that my family didn’t like my ex…

i'm swiss

September 24th, 2012
3:31 pm

disco — What’s wrong with the back seat of the car? :lol:

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
3:36 pm

swiss~ depends on what kind of car you drive… :lol:

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
3:41 pm

swiss…wouldn’t have worked in my old Mustang!!! My car now has a big enough back seat…as a matter of fact, the back seats fold down, so there would be plenty of room. Hmmmmm…

i'm swiss

September 24th, 2012
3:47 pm

When I was in HS, I got caught f__king my GF in the hatchback of a Geo Storm. :lol: We parked at the end of a long, wooded driveway off of an old dirt road in the middle of nowhere. Sure enough, the old geezers that lived there came home to find us blocking their path. Okay, so it wasn’t the smartest place to choose, but I had no blood going to my brain. :lol:

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
3:56 pm

okay, asked and answered :-)

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
3:57 pm

Disco, if you’re the type of person to do a one night stand, you don’t really put that much thought in to where you’re going to do it.

disco

September 24th, 2012
3:57 pm

CC – I’m engaged in this discussion on email. one friend said she’s never done a one night stand but she has been a “second dater”. I thought that was funny. actually I was more curious as to whether men would be willing to pay for stranger booty. lol.

swiss – a geo? dang. I forgot about the geo.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
3:59 pm

Disco, if I have a place to go, I aint paying for no hotel room! your place, my place or a secluded road :-D

disco

September 24th, 2012
4:01 pm

S/H – maybe, maybe not. maybe I’m just too type A. I would need to go in with a plan. lol. this particular chick though has a history or bringing strange dudes to her house. I have a history of telling her all the reasons she needs to stop. guess it’s just our thing. a few years back she met a guy at the club on Saturday night, took him home and he was posted up in the spot having Sunday dinner with her kids the next day.

S/H – a secluded road. okay. guess I’m out of my league in the one night stand discussion. wish someone would suggest I do the do on a side street. lol.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
4:03 pm

Disco, if you aint willing to pay for the room, get in where you fit in!

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
4:05 pm

Also disco, when it comes to one night stands, most of the time all reasoning goes out the window. Because if you used it, you probably wouldn’t be having a one night stand.

Robert

September 24th, 2012
4:06 pm

@disco – “who pays for dates”

It depends on how “PHAT” she is. If this is a internet/blind date I hope she is not soo cheap that she forgot her money. I am a “gentleman” but I know how to say “no” and excuse myself. If we have been seeing each other for a while and have a desire to take the relationship to the next step I would gladly treat my new lady to a night out on the town as we danced the night away. Hopefully she is gainfully employed and will feel the same way about me.

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
4:06 pm

I’m not in the habit of one night stands…the one guy I slept with the night I met him, I brought to my home. One of my best friends was staying with me, so maybe that made me braver to bring him to my place.

disco

September 24th, 2012
4:10 pm

a tale I never forgot: when we were younger (teens) my brother had this little girl over to the house. there’s a house full of cousins and it doesn’t help that one of my cousins makes an announcement that the girl was giving him a BJ. they finally come out of the bathroom and she has to walk past a room full of folks who know what she was doing. I guess my brother was just getting in where he fit in. I’m halfway tempted to call him and ask who that girl was.

robert – the question posed today isn’t who pays for the date but who sponsors the one night stand. lol.

i'm swiss

September 24th, 2012
4:10 pm

“a geo? dang. I forgot about the geo.”

disco — Well, there you go. Now every time you think of a geo, you can picture me buck nekkid, getting freaking in the hatchback. :lol: You’re welcome!

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
4:10 pm

actually I was more curious as to whether men would be willing to pay for stranger booty

Don’t they always? That’s called prostitution! :lol:

disco

September 24th, 2012
4:15 pm

CC – you crazy girl. actually I understand the prostitution process. that makes sense to me. this one night stand stuff is crazy but it makes for some interesting stories. I know one chick who married the one night stand.

swiss – hopefully I won’t be thinking about geos often. lol.

i'm swiss

September 24th, 2012
4:19 pm

disco:lol: Now, why’d you have to go and stomp on my ego like that? :lol:

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
4:21 pm

I thought my ex was going to just be a one night booty, but it turned quickly into a relationship. I knew him 10 years prior and we had “relations” back then, so it was nothing to bring him to my place…

disco

September 24th, 2012
4:22 pm

swiss – trust me. that wasn’t about your ego. now had you said you were doing it in the back of a ford festiva it may have been a personal attack.

bluz – do you sleep with all of your friends? not asking in a mean way, it just seems like if you happen to be between men you don’t mind dabbling in the friend pool. lol.

i'm swiss

September 24th, 2012
4:26 pm

“just seems like if you happen to be between men you don’t mind dabbling in the friend pool”

Bluz isn’t the only one by any stretch. There’s plenty of chicks out there who will break the glass on the Emergency Friend Wang when they’re on the rebound. That’s why dudes will hang around in the Friend Zone, just in case.

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
4:26 pm

disco…no, I really don’t. There really haven’t been as many as I know it sounds on here. LOL! If we’ve happened to fall into bed together in the past, then I have no problem calling on him down the line…would rather stick with who I’ve already done rather than increase my number!

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
4:27 pm

I know one chick who married the one night stand.

:shock: Where dey do dat at?

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
4:28 pm

A girl has needs……………

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
4:30 pm

Disco, if she married him then it wasn’t a one night stand (LOL)

Time to go, lata peeps

disco

September 24th, 2012
4:30 pm

swiss – I know some chicks do and I know that that’s why a lot of guys relegate themselves to being friends. I was just saying that a lot of bluz’ jumpoffs are from her friend pool.

bluz – I understand. I’m all for keeping exes around as friends but I’m not doubling back on the D. even if it was good it’s outgrown. lol. besides, apparently I think like a man. right about now I’m thinking new D has to beat out same old same old, been there done that D but that’s coming from me, miss ain’t getting none.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
4:31 pm

Comon dey do that everywhere (LOL)

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 24th, 2012
4:32 pm

Swiss, Disco, that’s why it’s called FWB (LOL)

disco

September 24th, 2012
4:33 pm

S/H – hence why I say there needs to be a playbook, some boundaries and guidelines. apparently lots of folks go into with the notion it’s just this once. it then turns into back up sex or a full fledged relationship.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
4:34 pm

PLaying devil’s advocate here (you know it’s in my nature) Aren’t a lot of people’s jump offs from their friend pool? I mean, you tend to go with what you know and what you know are the friends. IJS…

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
4:36 pm

S/H~ I guess I wouldn’t know, cause that’s not my style. My brother always used to say if you got it easy, someone else got it easy before you.

Bluzgirl

September 24th, 2012
4:37 pm

disco…I don’t go back to exes for D…the only ex I remained friends with is deceased now. The other ones are not worthy at all. I have had a few guy friends that I have gone back to in a time of need!

disco

September 24th, 2012
4:38 pm

S/H – I have plenty of friends with benefits. I get a hookup on dry cleaning. I get free downtown parking when I attend events. I get hotel rooms for $30/night. guess my FWB relationships are different.

CC – I honestly don’t know. as a full fledged I’m too grown for that mess grown woman I can’t see it. friend or not, I just don’t think I’d feel comfortable hosting a card party or get together and knowing I’ve been tapped by every other dude in the spot. just can’t go out like that.

disco

September 24th, 2012
4:45 pm

CC – I think that statement is a misconception (albeit one that we’ve all heard and many believe). Most women know from the gate who she’s willing to give some to. For a guy she’s not checking for, no amount of persuasion is going to get it. He can put in mad work and throw in a handful of money but no haps is no haps. can just wink at her and the elastic in her panties stops working.

Comon Cents

September 24th, 2012
4:56 pm

With the hubs, we were friends for 7 years before the jump off. Now, I’m not going to say I didn’t want to give him some earlier, the right circumstances just needed to arise for it to happen.

disco

September 24th, 2012
5:08 pm

CC – not to be funny but which hubs?

Exiled!

September 24th, 2012
10:58 pm

Lol

Disco!

I hope Common got that knife off her back! :lol: