Is living together a good idea?
Yet another of my male friends decided to take the big plunge: asking their girlfriend to move in. I guess this is their way of determining if they can handle a full time, 24/7 relationship? I have yet to see any of my male friends make their live-in girlfriend a wife, but I don’t know if that is even a goal.
I have never lived with a boyfriend. I can barely handle sharing space for a weekend trip! I am sure adjusting to living with a girlfriend/boyfriend is vastly different when you are married. Maybe living together is a good idea for people who are unsure about the idea of marriage and cohabitation?
What happens in a “shacking up” relationship that can’t/won’t happen in a marriage? Why is the idea of living with someone so much easier than marrying them?
Have you ever lived with someone you dated? Do you have any advice for a coupe considering the idea?
Ladies, if you were in a serious relationship, would you be disappointed or elated about being asked to move in?
Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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194 comments Add your comment
disco
September 24th, 2012
3:17 pm
okay guys. quick question. I know we’ve discussed who pays for dates to death but supposing a chick goes out and picks up a guy for a one night stand. she doesn’t want guy to go to her house. guys, do you take her to your spot or do you all get a room somewhere? if you get a room, does the guy pay or is he expecting the chick to pay since she did the picking up?
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
3:19 pm
S/H – I will gladly put my husband in my will, but not just an S/O. Then again, I don’t plan on every being in that situation again. If we are going to live together, then we better be planning a wedding. I don’t think I would mind weekend stays.
As far as why it’s important for your family and friends to be supportive, I guess for situations like we’ve been discussing. I had several friends who supported my last relationship, but not my family. Actually, after I kicked dude out, I found out several friends didn’t really support it, but they supported me and wanted me to be happy. Another lesson learned…I will listen better when my family and friends have issues with my S/O.
disco
September 24th, 2012
3:23 pm
btw – my girl who pulled the one night stand stunt actually did take dude back to her house which I got on her about. her thing was she felt safer at her house than at his house and that a hotel was a waste of money. some people.
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
3:23 pm
Bluz/S & H~ I also think that it’s important for your family to support your relationship because otherwise holidays, family gathering, etc. can be really awkward.
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
3:25 pm
IDK, disco, I ain’t doing the one night stand thing unless it’s in a furniture store. I figure I was to see an ASE certification before I let you look underneath the hood of my car and I can buy another car! This is the only puddy I have so I can’t be just letting dudes up in there all willy nilly. IJS…
kimmie
September 24th, 2012
3:27 pm
Single – I think it depends on a few factors to answer your question. I am very close to my family, well certain members anyway. They are the ones that have always been there for me and never steered me wrong. When I was much younger and could not see the forest for the trees, I thought they might have been not as supportive as they could have been with a few guys I dated. Hindsight being 20/20, I see EXACTLY what they saw! If I thought strongly they were wrong about a guy, I would go with my gut and do what made me happy. If they came around cool, if not, hey that’s life. It would hurt though, if they didn’t care for my husband. Happily, that is not the case.
Sometimes, family is all you have in this world, so it can be important, within reason.
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
3:29 pm
CC – Yes…family gatherings were a little awkward knowing that my family didn’t like my ex…
i'm swiss
September 24th, 2012
3:31 pm
disco — What’s wrong with the back seat of the car?
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
3:36 pm
swiss~ depends on what kind of car you drive…
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
3:41 pm
swiss…wouldn’t have worked in my old Mustang!!! My car now has a big enough back seat…as a matter of fact, the back seats fold down, so there would be plenty of room. Hmmmmm…
i'm swiss
September 24th, 2012
3:47 pm
When I was in HS, I got caught f__king my GF in the hatchback of a Geo Storm.
We parked at the end of a long, wooded driveway off of an old dirt road in the middle of nowhere. Sure enough, the old geezers that lived there came home to find us blocking their path. Okay, so it wasn’t the smartest place to choose, but I had no blood going to my brain. 
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
3:56 pm
okay, asked and answered
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
3:57 pm
Disco, if you’re the type of person to do a one night stand, you don’t really put that much thought in to where you’re going to do it.
disco
September 24th, 2012
3:57 pm
CC – I’m engaged in this discussion on email. one friend said she’s never done a one night stand but she has been a “second dater”. I thought that was funny. actually I was more curious as to whether men would be willing to pay for stranger booty. lol.
swiss – a geo? dang. I forgot about the geo.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
3:59 pm
Disco, if I have a place to go, I aint paying for no hotel room! your place, my place or a secluded road
disco
September 24th, 2012
4:01 pm
S/H – maybe, maybe not. maybe I’m just too type A. I would need to go in with a plan. lol. this particular chick though has a history or bringing strange dudes to her house. I have a history of telling her all the reasons she needs to stop. guess it’s just our thing. a few years back she met a guy at the club on Saturday night, took him home and he was posted up in the spot having Sunday dinner with her kids the next day.
S/H – a secluded road. okay. guess I’m out of my league in the one night stand discussion. wish someone would suggest I do the do on a side street. lol.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
4:03 pm
Disco, if you aint willing to pay for the room, get in where you fit in!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
4:05 pm
Also disco, when it comes to one night stands, most of the time all reasoning goes out the window. Because if you used it, you probably wouldn’t be having a one night stand.
Robert
September 24th, 2012
4:06 pm
@disco – “who pays for dates”
It depends on how “PHAT” she is. If this is a internet/blind date I hope she is not soo cheap that she forgot her money. I am a “gentleman” but I know how to say “no” and excuse myself. If we have been seeing each other for a while and have a desire to take the relationship to the next step I would gladly treat my new lady to a night out on the town as we danced the night away. Hopefully she is gainfully employed and will feel the same way about me.
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
4:06 pm
I’m not in the habit of one night stands…the one guy I slept with the night I met him, I brought to my home. One of my best friends was staying with me, so maybe that made me braver to bring him to my place.
disco
September 24th, 2012
4:10 pm
a tale I never forgot: when we were younger (teens) my brother had this little girl over to the house. there’s a house full of cousins and it doesn’t help that one of my cousins makes an announcement that the girl was giving him a BJ. they finally come out of the bathroom and she has to walk past a room full of folks who know what she was doing. I guess my brother was just getting in where he fit in. I’m halfway tempted to call him and ask who that girl was.
robert – the question posed today isn’t who pays for the date but who sponsors the one night stand. lol.
i'm swiss
September 24th, 2012
4:10 pm
“a geo? dang. I forgot about the geo.”
disco — Well, there you go. Now every time you think of a geo, you can picture me buck nekkid, getting freaking in the hatchback.
You’re welcome!
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
4:10 pm
actually I was more curious as to whether men would be willing to pay for stranger booty
Don’t they always? That’s called prostitution!
disco
September 24th, 2012
4:15 pm
CC – you crazy girl. actually I understand the prostitution process. that makes sense to me. this one night stand stuff is crazy but it makes for some interesting stories. I know one chick who married the one night stand.
swiss – hopefully I won’t be thinking about geos often. lol.
i'm swiss
September 24th, 2012
4:19 pm
disco —
Now, why’d you have to go and stomp on my ego like that? 
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
4:21 pm
I thought my ex was going to just be a one night booty, but it turned quickly into a relationship. I knew him 10 years prior and we had “relations” back then, so it was nothing to bring him to my place…
disco
September 24th, 2012
4:22 pm
swiss – trust me. that wasn’t about your ego. now had you said you were doing it in the back of a ford festiva it may have been a personal attack.
bluz – do you sleep with all of your friends? not asking in a mean way, it just seems like if you happen to be between men you don’t mind dabbling in the friend pool. lol.
i'm swiss
September 24th, 2012
4:26 pm
“just seems like if you happen to be between men you don’t mind dabbling in the friend pool”
Bluz isn’t the only one by any stretch. There’s plenty of chicks out there who will break the glass on the Emergency Friend Wang when they’re on the rebound. That’s why dudes will hang around in the Friend Zone, just in case.
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
4:26 pm
disco…no, I really don’t. There really haven’t been as many as I know it sounds on here. LOL! If we’ve happened to fall into bed together in the past, then I have no problem calling on him down the line…would rather stick with who I’ve already done rather than increase my number!
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
4:27 pm
I know one chick who married the one night stand.
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
4:28 pm
A girl has needs……………
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
4:30 pm
Disco, if she married him then it wasn’t a one night stand (LOL)
Time to go, lata peeps
disco
September 24th, 2012
4:30 pm
swiss – I know some chicks do and I know that that’s why a lot of guys relegate themselves to being friends. I was just saying that a lot of bluz’ jumpoffs are from her friend pool.
bluz – I understand. I’m all for keeping exes around as friends but I’m not doubling back on the D. even if it was good it’s outgrown. lol. besides, apparently I think like a man. right about now I’m thinking new D has to beat out same old same old, been there done that D but that’s coming from me, miss ain’t getting none.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
4:31 pm
Comon dey do that everywhere (LOL)
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
4:32 pm
Swiss, Disco, that’s why it’s called FWB (LOL)
disco
September 24th, 2012
4:33 pm
S/H – hence why I say there needs to be a playbook, some boundaries and guidelines. apparently lots of folks go into with the notion it’s just this once. it then turns into back up sex or a full fledged relationship.
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
4:34 pm
PLaying devil’s advocate here (you know it’s in my nature) Aren’t a lot of people’s jump offs from their friend pool? I mean, you tend to go with what you know and what you know are the friends. IJS…
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
4:36 pm
S/H~ I guess I wouldn’t know, cause that’s not my style. My brother always used to say if you got it easy, someone else got it easy before you.
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
4:37 pm
disco…I don’t go back to exes for D…the only ex I remained friends with is deceased now. The other ones are not worthy at all. I have had a few guy friends that I have gone back to in a time of need!
disco
September 24th, 2012
4:38 pm
S/H – I have plenty of friends with benefits. I get a hookup on dry cleaning. I get free downtown parking when I attend events. I get hotel rooms for $30/night. guess my FWB relationships are different.
CC – I honestly don’t know. as a full fledged I’m too grown for that mess grown woman I can’t see it. friend or not, I just don’t think I’d feel comfortable hosting a card party or get together and knowing I’ve been tapped by every other dude in the spot. just can’t go out like that.
disco
September 24th, 2012
4:45 pm
CC – I think that statement is a misconception (albeit one that we’ve all heard and many believe). Most women know from the gate who she’s willing to give some to. For a guy she’s not checking for, no amount of persuasion is going to get it. He can put in mad work and throw in a handful of money but no haps is no haps. can just wink at her and the elastic in her panties stops working.
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
4:56 pm
With the hubs, we were friends for 7 years before the jump off. Now, I’m not going to say I didn’t want to give him some earlier, the right circumstances just needed to arise for it to happen.
disco
September 24th, 2012
5:08 pm
CC – not to be funny but which hubs?
Exiled!
September 24th, 2012
10:58 pm
Lol
Disco!
I hope Common got that knife off her back!