Is living together a good idea?
Yet another of my male friends decided to take the big plunge: asking their girlfriend to move in. I guess this is their way of determining if they can handle a full time, 24/7 relationship? I have yet to see any of my male friends make their live-in girlfriend a wife, but I don’t know if that is even a goal.
I have never lived with a boyfriend. I can barely handle sharing space for a weekend trip! I am sure adjusting to living with a girlfriend/boyfriend is vastly different when you are married. Maybe living together is a good idea for people who are unsure about the idea of marriage and cohabitation?
What happens in a “shacking up” relationship that can’t/won’t happen in a marriage? Why is the idea of living with someone so much easier than marrying them?
Have you ever lived with someone you dated? Do you have any advice for a coupe considering the idea?
Ladies, if you were in a serious relationship, would you be disappointed or elated about being asked to move in?
Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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194 comments Add your comment
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
2:22 pm
Funny how I got to work at noon and the day has been dragging since then!!!
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
2:23 pm
1. Talk to someone who uses common sense
Why they gotta be using me?!? LMAO!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
2:23 pm
Hello disco how you doing?
disco
September 24th, 2012
2:29 pm
by the way, re common sense. I used to be one of the folks who claimed that common sense wasn’t that common. I have since changed my stance. common sense is still quite common. thing is, what’s common to one person/group of people may not be common to the next person/group of people. who’s to say my common is better than your common? lol.
S/H – you shamed me. I am watching the clock instead of enjoying the day. if all goes well, when I finish watching the clock I’ll be able to salvage the day.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
2:30 pm
Here’s something to think about when shacking. This happened to a co-worker. They bought a house together, he died, his grown son decided he was going to move in and not pay in bills, she caught hell getting him out because he was her S/O next of kin! Now I could be wrong but had they been married, she would have been the next of kin. I’ve also know grown children to put people out when their S/O dies because their name isn’t on anything.
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 24th, 2012
2:30 pm
Good deal C~ I often wonder how working in Corporate America is~ The perks seems awesome but I know you and others have to work their butts off to get to those nice positions with time~ Enjoy Sis~ you know I will email you when you are away! lol
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
2:32 pm
Disco, I call that rushing your life away. and you’re right about common sense, it’s only common sense when it agrees with what I think.
Albert
September 24th, 2012
2:33 pm
Well, I’m single and I have never tried it, but I don’t see what would be so terrible about it. It would be far easier to be with the other person if you live together, and, not to sound crass, but easier also to have an ongoing physical relationship as well. No worrying about anyone walking in unannounced or showing up unexpectedly at the wrong moment, not having to plan when it’s convenient for one or the other, or when you can adjust your schedule for it.It would also let you discover the other person’s quirks much more easily, or would that ruin the relationship for some?
Celisea
September 24th, 2012
2:35 pm
Lady – I’m more excited to get with friends. One of the two friends sent me an edible arrangement when my pops passed. Cool as ever. Usually I’m good traveling a couple of days. Anything over three and I’m ready to head home…lol When I attended a conference at Reynolds Plantation, I almost forgot where I was sleeping…lol
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 24th, 2012
2:36 pm
I can’t~ lol smh #dead C!!!!!
disco
September 24th, 2012
2:36 pm
S/H – you crazy. common is simply your experience and at the end of the day, all of our experiences are different.
back to shacking, if push came to shove, I could live with someone if I had to. I suppose if push really came to shove, they could live with me. no amount of pushing or shoving is going to get me to buy a house with somebody I’m not married to or related to by blood. bump that.
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
2:36 pm
S/H – Since I’ve worked at a financial institution since I was 18, I feel like I have to be in control of my own financial situation. I want the house in my name…my own credit cards…my own car. I don’t want to finance anything jointly. When I bought my house last year, I was in a LTR, but I knew that I needed to buy it based on what I alone could afford in case things didn’t work out with him (not like he contributed financially anyways). I have a good friend of mine who bought her house earlier this year with her boyfriend in mind of helping her out and he’s now unemployed and she’s struggling. She also wants out of the relationship, but really needs his help once he finds a job again. I will NEVER put myself in that situation…
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
2:37 pm
Albert, would that be the fun of being newlyweds?
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 24th, 2012
2:38 pm
Friends are far and few between~ Enjoy them and chile enjoy those resorts! I am looking for a resort now for winter break~ traveling is fun!
Celisea
September 24th, 2012
2:40 pm
Thanks girlie. Yeah, that is usually one of the better perks, aside from spending money that’s not yours…lol One thing about me though, I’m not one that just spend to be spending..not their money. One chick in my group took her husband for a steak dinner….ON HER CORPORATE CARD. Needless to say she was having to “splain” herself and had to pay those charges. They don’t play about that kind of stuff.
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 24th, 2012
2:40 pm
peace C~ refering back to this AM don’t talk to yourself~ lol I am OWT~ lol
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
2:40 pm
S/H~ That is like the lesbian couple in NY. The “husband” (for the sake of simplicity) worked in the twin towers. The wife was a stay at home mom to the 2 children they had adopted. The husband had not seen her family in over 10 years because they did not agree with her lifestyle. When she died in the twin towers, everything was in her name and, being relatively young, she had no will to protect her wife. Her “next of kin” came in and took the house, children and survivor benefits from the wife because there was nothing legally binding and nothing in her name. Sad, sad state of affairs. However you feel about gay marriage, that is just wrong.
DuShawn
September 24th, 2012
2:41 pm
I was once of the opinion that I would not marry a woman unless we lived together first. This would allow me to uncover all the little idiosyncrasies that she was able to hide. Years ago, I was in a serious, committed five year relationship. We got engaged and moved in together in year four. We never married. If I would have cohabitated with my current wife, I probably would not have married her either. Personally, I would prefer to find out after I’m all in that my lady is trifling and keeps a nasty bathroom. If I would have discovered that prior, I would have been out of there…..and missed out on three beautiful children and twelve wonderful years.
Celisea
September 24th, 2012
2:41 pm
Lady – Niiiight!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
2:41 pm
Bluz even with your scenario, if something happened to you, everything is in your name, and here comes your family telling him that he has to go.
Wants out of the relationship but really needs his help once he finds a job. But I guess since they never said for better or worse, that’s understandable!
Willie Dynamite
September 24th, 2012
2:43 pm
Cel – TRY to enjoy your travel. I would say handle your business but I know you will do that at all costs. Just make an effort to take off the BOSS title, unwind a little and enjoy the city and friends. Oh yeah plan a day to have you a real drink or two (safely of course).
Willie Dynamite
September 24th, 2012
2:45 pm
DuShawn – how are your lunch breaks coming along?
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
2:45 pm
comon yes that was wrong on so many levels but so many people do it, my advice to anyone shacking is take care of that business, because tomorrow is not promised to you, and wills and beneficiaries can always be changed!
Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"
September 24th, 2012
2:46 pm
Dayum Bluz…your friend sounds Skanky…..lets see.{translations in ()….}…bought house wit dude with plans of him helping (I can’t afford this place, but if you pitch in, I’m skrait), he lost his job, and she wants out, but needs his help (Dude, if you aren’t giving me any cash, I’m not interested, but I need you broke azz to get a job and help, so I will wait it out for minute)=I am gonna get rid of you and get some help in this beeyotch soon….cue Beyonce’s “Irreplacable”
Celisea
September 24th, 2012
2:46 pm
WillieD – What’s up! LOLOLOLOL….stoooop You now imma make the best of it, that’s with friends, unwinding and all…lol No BOSS title here…lol I don’t think
I hope I’m there a couple of evenings so I can let back and loosen up…. hahahahahahaha
DuShawn
September 24th, 2012
2:48 pm
_ Willie D_ I’m about three lunches deep.
disco
September 24th, 2012
2:51 pm
jake – I know a chick who purchased a new home. not even an existing home, had a home built. met a guy, moved him in and he decided he didn’t like her house. she invested in remodeling the house to his liking at her expense. new floors, countertops, cabinetry, you name it. meanwhile he contributed nothing to the household other than his penis. once they were driving home from some place. they had a disagreement in the car and he put her out of her own car. now I wish a MF would put me out of his car let alone mine but that’s just me. anyway, she carried him for a few years and he finally left her and married the next chick within 6 months of leaving. old girl was devastated.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
2:53 pm
Disco, umm sound like she was SOS (stuck on stupid)
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
2:55 pm
S/H – True…and my family sure would have kicked him out in a heartbeat!!!
Jake – my friend isn’t skanky…just not very smart. Funny thing is that she works with me and she’s seen what can happen to people financially when relationships don’t work out. She was there during me buying my house and I couldn’t tell you how many times I said that I would make sure to buy something that I can afford alone because I knew I couldn’t count on ex. I was very upset when I found out that she took on a higher mortgage payment with thoughts of his help. His mom has moved in temporarily also and pays some. If she were to kick them both out, she would probably have to get two part time jobs on top of her full time job to be able to afford it…I always thought she was smarter than that…
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
2:55 pm
disco~ Her name wasn’t Beatrice, was it?!? I have a friend with that EXACT same story.
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
2:56 pm
Wow disco…it’s bad enough to be supporting a man, but then to pay for changes in the home just because he doesn’t like them?!?!?! Wow is all I can say to that one…
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
2:57 pm
Bluz, but take that deadbeat out of the picture and replace him with someone who contributed to the household, do you think think they would have done the same thing?
His moms has moved in (rotflmao)
kimmie
September 24th, 2012
2:57 pm
Grown folks are going to do exactly what they want. But I would tell anyone NEVER get tangled up financially with someone you’re not married to. Heck, depending on that person’s credit, even if you marry! You can get yourself into some bad situations you cannot easily get out of.
Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"
September 24th, 2012
2:58 pm
Bluz-so you say…would he or mama be there if there was no financial contribution….NO…..sounds Skankalicious to me
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
2:59 pm
Disco, reminds me of the song “what you want do for love” (LOL) you’ve tried everything, but you want give up. (LOL)
disco
September 24th, 2012
2:59 pm
S/H – she is definitely stuck on stupid. always has been. she’s the type that pays for everything, co-signs for things, all that foolishness. her mom passed recently and she and her sister each got a nice chunk of change. true to her nature, she’s giving her money away. last I heard she gave some guy $5000. another friend and I predict she’ll run through the money in a year or so.
CC – no. that’s not her name. your girl got put out of her own car too? lol.
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
3:00 pm
disco~ Not only did my girl get put out of her own car, dude then took her car and drove to AL to see his family and didn’t come back for dang near a week!
Comon Cents
September 24th, 2012
3:01 pm
disco~ You can have her make my check out to…
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
3:02 pm
Disco, you just hating cause you aint got no man (rotflmao)
disco
September 24th, 2012
3:02 pm
S/H – I have a cousin (lol – even I laugh at my cousin stories now). last year for her bday her little guy friend took her out, bought her this and bought her that. fast forward to his bday and I asked her what she was getting him. she laughed and was like “I’m not buying him anything. he can have all the booty he wants but he can’t have any money”. I don’t understand these chicks that carry men. don’t get me wrong, I’ll buy a gift here and there but I’m not paying car notes or nothing like that.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
3:02 pm
Comon, wodnt me (LOL)
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
3:04 pm
Disco, you wouldn’t even help me out with one note??
disco
September 24th, 2012
3:05 pm
S/H – to go old school. that was so funny I forgot to laugh. really though. that was funny.
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
3:05 pm
S/H…I think that if he contributed and wasn’t a deadbeat, that my parents would work with him. I don’t think they would kick a good man out on the streets. They would probably give him time to find a new place to live while they dealt with my house…
Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"
September 24th, 2012
3:07 pm
gotta go earn this paycheck….check back later
Bluzgirl
September 24th, 2012
3:08 pm
Jake – no…they wouldn’t be there if they didn’t contribute at all. Now, she also has an issue because she wouldn’t want to kick the mom out. She loves her. She’s just ready to be done with the boyfriend.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
3:08 pm
Bluz, this a moot point cause I don’t shack, but if I’m contributing, you better have a will in place that takes care of me, and I will do the same, Your folks should have no say so in the situation.
kimmie
September 24th, 2012
3:09 pm
don’t get me wrong, I’ll buy a gift here and there but I’m not paying car notes or nothing like that.
Disco – we definitely see eye 2 eye on that!
On chick that decorated house for dude – I know she was hurt he married someone else & so quick, but really if she had married dude what would she have been getting? A sorry sack of sh–? Other chick is welcome to his behind! Yeah, she was SOS though!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 24th, 2012
3:09 pm
Question, why is it important that your family and friends be supportive of your relationship?
Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"
September 24th, 2012
3:09 pm
As Granny used to say…..uh,uh,uh