Dating outside your age range?
Ok listen, I just saw a picture of Denzel Washington on the cover of GQ magazine. I have no words. The man is just…well, he is 57! I am going to be perfectly honest and say that I have not been looking at men in that age range – but should I start? First, I should ask: Do men in their late 50s look like Denzel?!
Taking the totally superficial part out of the equation, how does dating outside your age range really work? I am talking about the generational gaps that can lead to awkward conversations, family disapproval, misunderstandings, mismatched libidos…I could go on!
Relationships can be challenging enough to get started. How do you start one with someone who is not in your “normal dating range”?
Have you ever dated someone 10-15 years or more older/younger than you? What advice would you give to a couple with a significant age gap? How do you think it differs from dating someone the same age as you?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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438 comments Add your comment
Into the Light
September 19th, 2012
1:36 pm
Hey Jake! Yes, disco and CC have been very forthcoming and informative. Anything you’d like to add? The more I know…..
Then I wonder why you are acting like you have a chip on your shoulder when all along it is because you perceived I have one on mine.
Exactly the point I was making yesterday; if we don’t have open dialogue then we could stay in this
Catch 22 forever.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 19th, 2012
1:37 pm
Mrs. Sexycool these days everything requires counselors we’re raising generation of wimps
Comon Cents
September 19th, 2012
1:40 pm
I had nothing to do with trying to destroy any black people, so why do I get punished for it just because I’m white?
For the same reason that Trayvon Martin got shot because he was black. It doesn’t matter what you ACTUALLY did, what matters is people’s perception of who you are. For example, despite the fact that I am educated and well-spoken, there are certain assumptions that people make about me when they meet me purely based on the color of my skin.
Sorry for the slow typing, but I am eating before an afternoon lunch meeting. LOL!
Into the Light
September 19th, 2012
1:41 pm
Challenger explosion? I was at home because of a snow day. My mom and dad were home, too, waiting to have new furniture delivered.
Comon Cents
September 19th, 2012
1:43 pm
S/H~ Honestly, if you think about it, they did invade the Asians. Think Alexander the Great.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 19th, 2012
1:44 pm
Bluz throughout history, where ever the white man went his first thought was to conquer and enslave, the times may have changed, but we can see from the last presidential election the attitude hasn’t. There have been groups of people wiped out because of this attitude.
Into the Light
September 19th, 2012
1:45 pm
@Jake: I like green bean casserole, but never make it. My family doesn’t usually make it either; it’s usually fresh green beans (cooked with bacon or fatback, of course….hello, we’re southern!)
@CC: I can kind of understand where you’re coming from. It’s kind of like people assuming a southern accent = stupidity/bass-ackwards ways.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 19th, 2012
1:46 pm
Comon I could be wrong but didn’t he try and made is as far as India?
Into the Light
September 19th, 2012
1:49 pm
Isn’t India in Asia??
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 19th, 2012
1:50 pm
ITL that where he got turned around didn’t get to conquer them.
cba
September 19th, 2012
1:51 pm
KUDOS to CC, disco, ITL & Bluz for having a civil discussion about race relations and perceptions.
I read several blogs on ajc and other sites and regardless the topic, some how, some way, racism will enter the debate.
I was eleven when Dr King was killed and I think today’s racial tension is as bad back then or even worse.
Willie Dynamite
September 19th, 2012
1:53 pm
Where is Leggs???
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
1:54 pm
Lunch was delish
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 19th, 2012
1:58 pm
Single help is on the way, Light you’re India is in Asia Minor but Alexander couldn’t get his army into Asia. Therefore he turned his army back to Babylon where it’s written he died from natural causes but they beleive he was poisoned.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 19th, 2012
1:59 pm
When traveling I like to research the history of the country that I’m going to, and it was either the Dominican Republic or Trinidad Tobago that Christopher Columbus landed on in one of his LOST voyages (man ended up in the Caribbean trying to go to India) he was very sick from lack of food and water, the people of the island took care of him and his first thought was “these people are domicile they will be easy to conquer”
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
1:59 pm
Today, that would require counselors come to the school and talk to everyone
You ain’t never lied here. The only time we went to counselors was to make sure the scheduling was right for getting the right amount of credits or to talk about college, scholarships, etc.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 19th, 2012
2:00 pm
“Light you’re right”
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 19th, 2012
2:02 pm
C the difference now is that everything that happens is the end of the world we just don’t know how were going to survive it.
Into the Light
September 19th, 2012
2:03 pm
BF, you are constantly surprising me. Are you a history buff in general, or just military history?
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
2:04 pm
Single – Yep, so true…so so true. Yet folks seem to survive anyway
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 19th, 2012
2:05 pm
C before the media blitz it was just life happening, now we act like nothing like this has ever happened before.
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
2:06 pm
Signs of the times
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 19th, 2012
2:06 pm
cba…..@1:51 I thought the same about the conversation the ladys’ were having. Watch it now I was 7 when Dr. King was assasinated, you’re telling your age………LOL J/k I am very proud to reach the age I am, I have numerous of friends no longer with us.
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
2:07 pm
Single – Too, I think it goes back to the cloth we were cut from versus the stuff we see now. I think there was more foundationally set in the generations of yesterday versuse the generations of today’s time.
Into the Light
September 19th, 2012
2:07 pm
I was eleven when Dr King was killed and I think today’s racial tension is as bad back then or even worse.
cba: Why do you think that is? I’m not disagreeing, but it’s curious to me to think that we have evolved to the nth degree in some aspects (I remember clearly when we got our first microwave and VCR) and yet devolved on something as basic as people respecting one another and getting along.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 19th, 2012
2:07 pm
Yep sign of the times, but sometimes it gets out of hand because no one wants to miss the big story so everything is a big story.
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
2:08 pm
Single – That’s because it’s the signs of the times.
Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"
September 19th, 2012
2:08 pm
I asked because, GBC is a “white dish”(except for Comon’s folks), its not part of our traditional meal planning, is just one of those things, but ask if anyone in our family eats or makes, Chitterlings. Of course many will say yes because its a dish born out of slavery and the scraps that were provided to Slaves to make do with. I brought this up regarding because of the racial discussion that’s was brought into to play…..I wrote something, it jumps around a bit, but it might help….
Bluzgirl-Let me see if I can help you with this race thing, then maybe you can have an enlightening conversation with other of your background.
Black Folks were brought to the America’s and Carribean by way of the Middle Passage, in which they were chained placed in the bellies of boats, there was feces, urine, death, and despair(broken families). Upon arrival, they were forced to work for free and built this country, while being sold and transferred from Plantation to Plantation, women being raped, thus the multiplicity of color you see from us (broken families). At some point, things went from Slaves to Indentured Servitude (slave for 7years), finally the freed slave, but not so free, the new model became sharecropping. You can’t own this land, but you can work it for pennies and I(some white guy) will reap the benefits. Lets push it forward, all that kept being same until the 60’s, in which there were assainations of any Black Leader who was pushin the agenda of real freedom,..more issues, blahblah, around the early 80’s the field actually began to even out a little,but racism continues to live on, fast forward 30 years (Trayvon gets killed with his Ice Tea and skittles) not as much has changed as you think…but you do not know this kind of history, you are on the other side….400 years of economic hardship and disparity is why race remains such an issue, as a collective….AA, Blacks, Negroes(why so many names) really have only been on somewhat equal footing for about 20 years….Most of us have a refernce point to a time , a incident, a situation in which we were mistreated due to our blackness….Until this world becomes brown (slowly happening), which is why you keep hearing many Repubs say, we have to take our country back” (code for, get the black guy out of our white house), race will continue to be an issue…
The Saving Grace however, is that, Black people are the most kind, and forgiving people ever to walk this planet, we have forgiven all the mistreatment over centuries in hopes of everyone just living happily ever after. LOVE and FAIRNESS is a central theme in most Black Homes, even the broken torn down homes teach LOVE & FAIRNESS. If you have been treated unfairly historically, you will lean toward fairness, which is why politically, the theme of the President with regarding to everyone doing there fair share resonates so loudlly…Those who have turned to criminal lives do so out of necessity in most cases, nobody said I want to be a Criminal when the question was asked in Elmentary School, hard times force hard choices.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 19th, 2012
2:11 pm
C the thing that gets me if we were cut from a different cloth, why are we not trying to cut our kids from the same cloth. Like in these days the kids need to go to school almost year around so that they can retain more. If that’s the case then we must be some freaking idiots!!
BRB
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 19th, 2012
2:11 pm
Light I love history and military accomplishments.
disco
September 19th, 2012
2:13 pm
I’m back…..I’ve never had green bean casserole.
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
2:14 pm
Yesterday, when my manager called one of the white dudes I work with to tell him I’m taking another portfolio, he calls me and and says he happy to tell the head of the new team/portfolio that we’ve had nothing but a good relationship. At the end of the conversation he said, “I told him one thing about Celisea, she’s great to work with, just make sure you respect her. She likes to be respected” Ummmm, who wants to be disrespected?? Even so and still, I was not offended because I was thinking…”that right, as long as all y’all know” That might sound kind of hard but sometimes you gotta stomp to get the respect and attention each and every individual deserves. I’m not a slave nor a servant, I’m not inferior nor beneath anyone. I make it known too.
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
2:16 pm
Single – You are definitely preaching to the choir. I agree. If it got me where I am today and made me the woman I am, what’s wrong with it. I believe in “hearing” children as they have voices, but I also believe in taking the reigns until they’re able to stand on their own. Seems the reigns have been handed over to this generation to live it own on their own. Very little guidance, very little steering. You can’t know what you don’t know until you grow to know it. Every youth needs that guiding hand.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 19th, 2012
2:17 pm
Can’t forget science it’s my biggest thrill, I told y’all I was a nerd.
SlimUno
September 19th, 2012
2:22 pm
Afternooner folks! I know I’m all late, as I am every Wednesday and I’m sure yall are off topic. My cousin is 28 and is married to a 58 year old man. I thought that was nuts especially since they had a kid at the end of last year. She tombout she wants more. I’m thinking that’s not even right because ole boy is already damn near 60 yrs old. There’s a high chance he won’t be around for all the other kids’ lives. Oh well.
disco
September 19th, 2012
2:24 pm
some of y’all are “spitting knowledge”. that’s what’s up.
Poppa Grande
September 19th, 2012
2:24 pm
CC & S&H -
Afghanistan is in Asia, too. It has been invaded many times. It has been the death of many civilizations. Modern countries like the Soviets tried as well and lost.
There is no continent called “The Middle East”. Some are African and Some are Asian. Afghanistan is Asia.
Into the Light
September 19th, 2012
2:24 pm
Willie Dynamite
September 19th, 2012
1:53 pm
Where is Leggs???
WD: Leggs has surgery last week, but is at home now. Unfortunately, it’s been a slow, painful recovery but she seems a bit better today than yesterday.
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
2:27 pm
She tombout she wants more. I’m thinking that’s not even right because ole boy is already damn near 60 yrs old
Oh my
Into the Light
September 19th, 2012
2:28 pm
@BF: Yay! I’m a nerd, too. No wonder you’re my BBB!
Bluzgirl
September 19th, 2012
2:32 pm
Thank you Jake for that long explanation. It just bothers me that race is still so much of an issue. It just shouldn’t be, but I know it is. I don’t see a color when I look at you…I see you for who you are as a person, whether it’s good or bad. I’ve also been discriminated against because I’m white and have been accused of being racist by one person even though I have friends of all races. The person who accused me of being racist is an AA coworker, who I had considered a friend. We’re cool now, but there is that tension because she accused me of something I definitely am not.
Actually…I’m more of a mutt than anything. I’m closest to being caucasion when I have to choose an option, but I come from 6 different nationalities.
I am SO glad we can have a civil discussion like this today. As long as we all come from honest places, it can stay civil…
Comon Cents
September 19th, 2012
2:33 pm
Sorry! I was gone for a few, but I am back now. People got me feeling some kind of way today. Humph! I am amazed at some of the things people say. How is it going to be someone else’s fault you were DUI?
SlimUno
September 19th, 2012
2:33 pm
Cel – I’m serious though and even more crazy is he already has 4 other daughters around the same age as my cousin. So you know they weren’t happy about their marriage/kid
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 19th, 2012
2:35 pm
LOL…….@Light
LOL…….A nerd with fangs who would have thougth of it.
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
2:35 pm
Slim – That is just wild. I can’t imagine marrying someone with kids my age. Even worse, I can’t imagine marrying someone with that big of an age gap and then starting over with little kids. I would think about that too….will he even be here to help raise the kids. Too, ain’t that about the time folks start getting wormy? Or, is that more like 70ish?
Celisea
September 19th, 2012
2:36 pm
Stranger thing have happened though…I guess…lol
Comon Cents
September 19th, 2012
2:37 pm
I don’t see a color when I look at you…I see you for who you are as a person, whether it’s good or bad.
In a perfect world, that’s great. But we don’t live in a perfect world. If I raise my kids to be colorblind, I am not preparing them for the things that they will face (and I think that is the difference) When you grow up in a world where the world is on your side, you feel like the world is a friendly place. Unfortunately, for my children that is NOT the case. The same things that my son’s white counterparts will get a slap on the wrist for would label him a ghetto hoodlum. With my daughter, she has to be aware of that the fact that some white guys will want to date her just because of the myths perpetrated about the natural prowess of black women sexually. They cannot be colorblind in today’s society. Sad, but true.
disco
September 19th, 2012
2:38 pm
bluz – not trying to be funny but that statement – “I don’t see color” – is a very white statement. lol. most people of color are very aware of color. I think a more appropriate statement (just my opinion) is that color doesn’t matter to you. to say you don’t see it is almost to discount it and that, in itself, could rub folks the wrong way.
CC – I recently read where an attorney got his client off on the necessity defense. sure dude was drunk and sure he knew he shouldn’t have been driving but there were extenuating circumstances. the judge bought it.
SlimUno
September 19th, 2012
2:39 pm
WD/ITL – OOPS, my bad. She asked me to say hello to the whole gang but I’ve been sidetracked at work. Imagine that…so HOWDY FROM LEGGS
Poppa Grande
September 19th, 2012
2:39 pm
CC-
That is a client thing. hmph. I have those days too. I try to remember that they are just frustrated by the process.