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Dating outside your age range?

Ok listen, I just saw a picture of Denzel Washington on the cover of GQ magazine. I have no words. The man is just…well, he is 57! I am going to be perfectly honest and say that I have not been looking at men in that age range – but should I start? First, I should ask: Do men in their late 50s look like Denzel?!

Taking the totally superficial part out of the equation, how does dating outside your age range really work? I am talking about the generational gaps that can lead to awkward conversations, family disapproval, misunderstandings, mismatched libidos…I could go on!

Relationships can be challenging enough to get started. How do you start one with someone who is not in your “normal dating range”?

Have you ever dated someone 10-15 years or more older/younger than you? What advice would you give to a couple with a significant age gap? How do you think it differs from dating someone the same age as you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

438 comments Add your comment

SchizoFunkenstein

September 19th, 2012
7:01 am

Good morning, all!

SchizoFunkenstein

September 19th, 2012
7:03 am

Greetings from all of us!

Lily

September 19th, 2012
7:44 am

I haven’t dated anyone with a 10-15 year age gap. Seeing that I probably won’t, I guess I have nothing to contribute on topic.

Good day!

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 19th, 2012
7:44 am

Hello all.

With the exception of 2 of my girlfriends all my S/O have been 9 to 22 years younger, and 11 years older, I’ve never had a problem with it. You start it the same way you would with anyone your age, you get to know the person, never had any awkward conversation, and no family disapproval because I’m not dating her family and she’s not dating mine.

The best advice I can give anyone dating out of your age range is that you have remember they are your equal, not your child so don’t try to raise them again! But that sometimes doesn’t make a difference if you are the same age or years apart!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 19th, 2012
8:55 am

I’ve dated many women that were older and younger than I am. At 19 I dated a lady that was 40, at 47 dated one 28. If you can’t do that don’t do it because there are women who are willing to date men older or younger. I know a guy 50 that has a live in girlfriend 25, it may be out of the ordinary for some but people are living their lives how they want without regard to what any one else thinks. I’m all about doing just that living a clean life without judging folks.

Good Morning:

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:05 am

Morning,

I have never dated to the extreme. And still? Not interested. If I go 15 years older, that would take me dating a senior citizen and 15 years younger, IMO (and just for me), no doubt work my nerves….lol Pretty much, I’ve mostly dated 3 or 4 years younger. I’m closing shop at a certain point. I won’t be a foolish old woman out there still on the prowl.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 19th, 2012
9:06 am

When I started maturing I was always attracted to older women and that’s who I went after. Yes I got kicked to the curb a couple of times, told I was too young for them but perserverance pays and in the end they gave me the opportunity to put up or shut up.

Comon Cents

September 19th, 2012
9:08 am

The first husband was 10 years my senior and I think that is about my max. Anything further and there is a generation gap that is hard to bridge. I mean, realistically, if I dated someone 20 years younger than methey would just be getting out of HS. What would we have to talk about?!?

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:10 am

I just don’t see the compatibility in dating with such a huge age gap. I mean the years you’ve lived and learned and experienced, that in and of itself sets two people apart. What do folks have in common?

Blackfoote – What was the attraction with older women?

Into the Light

September 19th, 2012
9:12 am

Good morning, all!

Heeeeey BF. What’s for breakfast?

I’ve dated guys who were 10+ years older. It really depends on the guy, but I’ll say that in general the older guys tended to be more respectful and more sensitive and giving.

Comon Cents

September 19th, 2012
9:14 am

Me: So remember in 1986 when Challenger exploded? What were you doing when that happened?

Him: Developing a spine..

Yeah, I don’t think that would work.

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:15 am

Single – The best advice I can give anyone dating out of your age range is that you have remember they are your equal, not your child so don’t try to raise them again

So tell me, if you have to be mindful that they’re “not your equal” nor your child and that you can’t raise them all over again, don’t that say that you’re having to make a conscious effort to relate? Wouldn’t “relating” be a natural thing? I’m just asking to gain more insight.

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:16 am

Or I guess I should rephrase…”SHOULDN’T” relating be a natural thing.

Into the Light

September 19th, 2012
9:17 am

LOL@CC.

@Stamps: That’s good advice, and goes both ways. He is my equal, not my daddy. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I love being spoiled. :oops:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 19th, 2012
9:17 am

Hi there Cely, don’t say you’ll be a foolish old woman………LOL Shoot if Pam Grier ever gave me a chance to date her I’d be on flight to Denver today. There’s lots of older women out here I would walk around Stone Mountain for. disclaimer (walking around the mountain is a steep chore for me so she would have to be worth it)

Poppa Grande

September 19th, 2012
9:17 am

Enter your comments here

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:19 am

Blackfoote – LOLOLOLOL….I hear ya. I just don’t think I could do it. It seems in most cases with older women dating younger men, she always end up getting hung up and for him, it was just a fling. Look at Demi and Ashton. Hmmm? She’s gotta be broken up watching him move on with a much younger, hotter, compatible woman. IJS

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:20 am

Of course there could have been other issues but again, IJS.

Comon Cents

September 19th, 2012
9:24 am

C~ Cosign! I was thinking the same thing. (about Demi & Ashton) Also, think about Hugh Hefner and his 20 something year old baby momma. Ewww….

Poppa Grande

September 19th, 2012
9:25 am

In my life, I have dealt mostly with older females. I was a major Kim Fields fan growing up. I initially went after older females to get to know how older females were just in “Tootie” and I met. That is how it started, but I kept after older females even in high school and college. I figured that if men their age were looking for younger, there were available older women. Some were way older in their 40s when I was 19 or 20.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 19th, 2012
9:28 am

Cely the older woman had more experience and their maturity level was a major factor. When I was in my teens I looked like a young 25 year old man. That made it easier for them to take me seroiusly.

Hey Light I made some whiting fish, hash browns, and grits. Biscuits coming out of the oven now.

disco

September 19th, 2012
9:31 am

good morning folks. I’ve dated “oldheads” a time or two or three in my life. the most recent ex is 20 years my senior which makes him older than my mother and the same age as my father.

BF – call it the double standard but for the life of me I don’t think I could date 20 years my junior. lol.

CC – trust when I say I crack many old age jokes. there have been a few times when he’d be like “do you remember such and such” and I’ll be like “dude I was in the second grade”.

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:34 am

Blackfoote – Gotcha. There are plenty women that are in it with much younger dudes and provide insight on what it means to be with a real woman. I’ve heard plenty men, that were true gentlmen say they were taught certain things by older women. So, I guess if it serves to benefit and the next woman is positively impacted by that experience, then I guess so. Still, the lessons learned and the play that comes with (from what I’ve heard) was oh la la….lol

I know myself better than any other. I don’t think I would possess much patience with a younger man. I’m sure the sex would be off the scale but after than, then what? lol

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 19th, 2012
9:34 am

Comon, what was I doing when the Challenger exploded, hell if I know, what was I doing when MLK got shot, hell if I know, what I was doing Sept 11, I think I was at work I can’t remember.

C, you don’t have to mindful of anything, it all depends on the person, there are some people that no matter what their age they always have this need to tell their S/O what they should be doing. So you would treat that other person like you would anyone else that you are dating.

ITL they don’t have to be older to spoil you :-D

Bluzgirl

September 19th, 2012
9:34 am

I’ve always been attracted to older men. My brother is older than me and he hated that I always wanted his friends when I was a teen!

My most recent ex was 13 years older than me. My previous LTR was 21 years older than me and only one year younger than my dad! They had a lot in common! Anyway…I’ve always been told that I have an old soul. Most of my closest friends are much older than me also. I’ve never liked men my age or younger because they are just plain annoying and immature. (Not that my ex’s were very mature).

My parents hate that I tend to date much older men. No one understands where it comes from. It’s not like I have daddy issues…my dad is wonderful! Maybe I’m just trying to find someone like my daddy. :-) Personally, I don’t really see age. We either mesh well or we don’t…

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 19th, 2012
9:35 am

I hear ya Poppa G, older is always better. Pam has me by 12 years but I’d fall all in on that.

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:36 am

Single – Okay, gotcha.

I’m disappointed in you this morning. Did you not get my wake-up call???

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:36 am

Blackfoote – Pam has me by 12 years but I’d fall all in on that.

Whew buddy…that was fuuuunnneeee…lol

SchizoFunkenstein

September 19th, 2012
9:40 am

I’m in da house taday!

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 19th, 2012
9:40 am

I got it C, (LOL)

Into the Light

September 19th, 2012
9:40 am

Mmmmm mmmmm, BF. That sounds good! Can I have a little cheese on my grits, please? ;)

@PG: I’m trying to picture you standing next to Kim Fields…..I’m guessing she hit you about belly button level? :lol:

Heeeeey, Bluz! :)

Bluzgirl

September 19th, 2012
9:41 am

CC and disco – There were definitely old age jokes in my relationships! Always made sure they were funny and not disrespectful. With the ex that was 21 years my senior, we often joked that he was already able to drink when I was just being conceived!

Bluzgirl

September 19th, 2012
9:41 am

Whazzup ITL?!?!?! You feeling better finally?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 19th, 2012
9:42 am

LOL……..@disco a few years ago the young lady I mentioned earlier left a note on my car. I had no idea who it came from but I called and we talked she told me her age and I told her mine. I wasn’t seeing anyone and she just clung on to me.

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:44 am

Blackfoote – Tell the truth, getting a note left on the car is sexy as all get out, ain’t it? Had it happen to me once.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 19th, 2012
9:44 am

I have a co-worker who married someone 20something years younger and to hear him talk to her you would think he’s talking to one of his children, now he is working on his 4th or 5th marriage. She’s also from another country which makes even more of difference. Which is the same for me, the age difference isn’t that big a deal it’s the cultural differences that will take some working out :-D but I’m willing to do it :-D .

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:45 am

Wait….let me fix that…it’s sexy if you know the person or if you find out the person is someone you could be cool hanging out with. It ain’t sexy if it’s a stalker or someone you can’t stand or despise…lololol Then it’s gonna be kick rocks!!

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 19th, 2012
9:46 am

Hey bluz, if he was 21 years your senior he was drinking before you were even thought of. it was 19 at that time (LOL)

disco

September 19th, 2012
9:48 am

BF/Celisea – I had a note left on my car once in the parking garage by a guy who worked in the same building. I’ll admit that it was flattering but I wasn’t really feeling it. we saw each other too much, chatted on the elevator and whatnot, so for him to leave a note with his number on it got a smile but nothing else.

Poppa Grande

September 19th, 2012
9:49 am

I hear ya Blackfoote on Pam Grier. She is a very nice on the eyes.

But let’s be real, Robin Givens will be 48 in November. I remember when she was in “Head of the Class”. Everyone is getting older even us.

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:51 am

disco – That’s why I had to amend my initial statement….lol It might be flattering but it ain’t all the time something that’s gonna fly.

The note left on my car was left by someone I’d seen in passing for years. I knew of him but didn’t really know him. I didn’t answer the note right away so, he showed up and waited for me. IT WAS MY KID’S DAD!! What was all cute and sexy back then. Not so much now…lolololol

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 19th, 2012
9:52 am

PG the only thing about it, she probably was in 20s when she was on that show. (LOL)

disco

September 19th, 2012
9:53 am

C – back in the day I passed a note to a bartender by way of the waitress. got in the club for free for years after that. LOL.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 19th, 2012
9:53 am

Cely yes older women taught me a lot about how to be a gentlman, maintain and keep a woman. They shored up the advice my mom and grandmoms gave me on hurting women. I didn’t always stay within the program but it absolutely help me identify with a lady.

Bluzgirl

September 19th, 2012
9:53 am

S/H – True…also, he was from New Orleans, so he was probably drinking much earlier than that!

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:54 am

disco – You never spoke to him at all regarding the note? Never said, I’m flattered but I’ll take a pass?

Bluzgirl

September 19th, 2012
9:54 am

He and my dad had a lot in common! They could talk about the old days. LOL! That was a little awkward for me…

Poppa Grande

September 19th, 2012
9:54 am

ITL –

I was 5′4″ as high school sophomore. I was 6′3″ at high school graduation. I gain 5 more inches after high school. My mom was not too happy during the sprouting years in high school. She threatened to chop my foot a number of times. :lol:

So as a high schooler Kim would not have been that much shorter. I think that she is 5″2″. That is Mrs. PG’s height, too.

Celisea

September 19th, 2012
9:55 am

disco – Your 9:53…work it! The wiles of a woman…mmm mmm mmm

Blackfoote – I’m so feeling your 9:53. I’ve heard a number of dudes say the same thing. If you can extract something positive and learn what to do or not do with the next woman, I can definitely appreciate that.

Poppa Grande

September 19th, 2012
9:56 am

BF

Yes, she was in her 20s during that show. Robin Givens is 5 years older than Kim Fields.