Do men feel pressure to marry?
I don’t know what its like to be single and male, but I can tell you being single and female definitely comes with pressure. The older you get *cough* the more people look at you and start to comment on why you aren’t married, how to fix it, and telling you that you have something left to do in life.
I have never heard of any of my guy friends talk of the same kinds of pressure to be someone’s husband, though. Some of them comment about feeling the need or pressure to have kids, but not necessarily with a wife. Do men feel pressure from family, friends, or even society to get married?
Do you think that there are actual marriages that are a result of “pressure” from everyone else to be married? How do you think that impacts the health of the marriage?
Would you consider dating and marrying someone simply because you feel you should be dating and marrying?
Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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390 comments Add your comment
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
3:37 pm
S/H~ Nope. Idon’t think they used the term BAN. I think that Sassy is right and that it is a blending of what they heard at home and what they hear at school.
Into the Light
September 18th, 2012
3:38 pm
@CC: Maybe I’m naive, but do you really think that that attitude is prevalent at all predominately white schools??
Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)
September 18th, 2012
3:40 pm
it is a blending of what they heard at home and what they hear at school.
True…I think the B.A.N is something they’ve heard around school among their peers but the “natural athlete” part is definitely something they
ve heard either at home or school…I don’t usually hear children use phrases and terms like that unless they’ve heard it elsewhere.
Into the Light
September 18th, 2012
3:41 pm
I’ll cut you down so low…..
…..you could jump through a flaming Fruit Loop.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 18th, 2012
3:43 pm
well time to go, lata peeps
Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)
September 18th, 2012
3:44 pm
but do you really think that that attitude is prevalent at all predominately white schools??
Really?!…how much blatant racism have we witnessed towards the POTUS/FLOTUS by ADULTS? These same adults are also parents…so to think that it stops with them is wrong..just like those children heard and repeated “natural athlete” I’m more than sure they hear and repeat much worse at schools.
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
3:45 pm
I’ll cut you down so low…..
that you can hoola hoop throgh a cheerio
It rhymes too, feel free to place in your next freestyle.
Another note: It looks like Doug E. Fresh will be half-time entertainment since one band cannot perform during the FAMU v. Southern game that’s upcoming.
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
3:46 pm
ITL~ I can’t speak for evey predominately white school, but the area that we live in, I grew up in. I went to elementary school there and I went to HS there. I have also moved 19 times and, due to socieconomics, I have almost always lived in areas where I am one of a few minorities. So, even if it isn’t overt, it is always there. When I was in middle school, we lived in an area of SC where we couldn’t join the Country Club because we were black. I have had people that I thought were friends who would get upset and call me the N word. So, yeah, I think it is always there on some level and furthermore, it is often tolerated because it is so institutionalized and systematic. JMO…
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
3:48 pm
I’ll cut you down so low…
at you’ll have to cary a sign around “Don’t spit. Can’t swim”
Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)
September 18th, 2012
3:49 pm
it is always there on some level and furthermore, it is often tolerated because it is so institutionalized and systematic.
Cosign…
jackie russell
September 18th, 2012
3:50 pm
I don’t think a man is pressured by society to do but one thing regarding ‘love and marriage’…”do what You want to do.”
Therefore the hope of women who love and want to be with them rests in the examples of good male role models that raise and influence them.
MsAtl
September 18th, 2012
3:52 pm
I was married for 27 years prior to my divorce. I have had friends tell me that I need to get married again soon. I am not opposed to marrying again, however, there is absolutely no rush. I will not marry just for the sake of marrying. If I do, fine; if I do not, fine.
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
3:54 pm
CC-
your post is similar to my experience. Until around 1996, majority of Clayton County was white. I remember when North Clayton was predominantly white, too. It wasn as long ago as you think. I put it to you this way: I remember President George HW Bush (Daddy Bush) coming down to the Panhandle area of Clayton County. I remember Lovejoy High School was a National School of Excellence and winning Odyssey of the Mind competition. Obama is US President number 44 and Daddy Bush was US President 41.
Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)
September 18th, 2012
3:54 pm
yawn…
I’s ret to go…
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
3:56 pm
CC – All of your 3:46. I was about to type something but you said it. If you’re not on this side of the coin then really, you have no clue or idea or realistic view of how many many people still live behind the sheet. We see it everyday. Only difference? Folks aren’t as brazen (well not before Obama) to be out with it.
Did anybody see the clip of Mitt Romney speaking at some fundraiser event and all the nasty things he was saying??? They played on GMA. They better not elect him. All hell is going to definitely break loose. If y’all have a minute, go to ABC/GMA website and pull it up.
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
3:57 pm
Thanks, SassyM, ITL.
The day went by in a flash. I wish I could have put it on a ’slow advance’ setting.
We had a ball.
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
3:58 pm
PG~ I’ll be even more specific. I graduated HS in 1991. Out of my graduating class of 827 students at Walton HS, there were 5 blacks in our class. Currently, I still live right around the corner from Walton and the percentage of blacks is right at 2%.
Into the Light
September 18th, 2012
3:59 pm
I don’t know.. I think we should be careful that ignorant acts, words, and beliefs of some not be taken as being representative of all.
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:02 pm
I graduated from a predominantly white school in the Florida Panhandle. It is always so interesting to see how politics and opinions about current events are so radical across color lines.
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
4:03 pm
C~ What you are talking about is “white privilege perspective”; ou can’t see the norm because you are the norm. No offense to anyone white, but you can google the term and that’s what it’s called.
In other words, I could ask any black woman on here if they would buy nude colored pantyhose and (unless they are VERY fair) the answer will be no. Because nude pantyhose are not nude for blacks
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:05 pm
Neither are nude colored shoes.
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
4:05 pm
I wonder how much work really got done today around the ATL after that long game last night.
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:05 pm
Nor are the those dresses with the peekaboo nude backgrounds.
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
4:06 pm
ITL~ Not saying that they are respresentative of all. On the contrary, some of my BEST friends from HS were white (imagine that
) and we are still friends today. However, for the most part, even if other whites do not agree with the racial comments/ignorant slurs they are very slow to stand up and defend the other kid (especially as pre-teens/early tennagers) which produces and environment in which it is OK to bully someone about their race. You are seeing the same culture of abuse arise with Latinos and homosexuals now.
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:06 pm
PG – I didn’t come to the office until 1p because of being at the Dome last night. (lol)
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
4:10 pm
SexyCool~ Or “flesh” colored band-aids.
Do you remember in the 80’s when all Barbie’s were white? (Hell, all baby dolls, for that matter) And people acted like they couldn’t understand why it was SOOO important to blacks to have black baby dolls?
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:10 pm
CC – your 406p – >>here<<
Some of my HS friends and I are still close *enough*. We can lunch and dinner and maybe even vacation together, but there are so many things that we just have to leave off the table in conversation or agree to disagree.
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
4:11 pm
Mrs. SexyCool -
We left the game after 11 PM and still made it home to see the end. I am paying for it now.
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
4:13 pm
47 minutes…yelling!!
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:13 pm
And then after all that, that dern Michael Turner gets arrested for DUI…wtdta?!?
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
4:14 pm
SexyCool~ Either that or you casually tip-toe around any issues that deal with race or politics.
Been there.
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
4:16 pm
wtdta?!?…
Apparently Gwinnett County, Suwanee Georgia
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:17 pm
Yuuup…a lot of uncomfortable looks, awkward silences and nervous laughter…usually trying to make light of it…
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
4:18 pm
At 5 AM local time. LMAO! He was leaving da club and just about right…
disco
September 18th, 2012
4:18 pm
CC – I pulled that white privilege on my neighbor (ms there goes the neighborhood). told her that her opinion was very white of her. lol. I give her credit though. she was firm in her stance even if it was janky as heck.
one piece of recommended reading. it’s kind of dated but I think they did a good job meeting objectives. it’s called “divided sisters: bridging the gap between black women and white women”. I forget the authors. they had me at jump when the foreword was two quotes. black woman said something to the effect that white women were too nosey, always up in folks’ business. the white woman said something to the effect that it was too difficult to get to know black women even after having worked with them for a long time.
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:18 pm
Dumb? Arrogant? Or both?
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
4:18 pm
42 minutes!!! yelling!!!
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
4:20 pm
CC-
He’d probably been to Strokers…lol. They close around 3 am or so.
So, I’ve heard….
Into the Light
September 18th, 2012
4:20 pm
It’s uncomfortable no matter your skin tone. There are a lot of misconceptions, across the board. I wish we could have more respectful, learning dialogue, and less tiptoeing.
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:21 pm
Cel – according to Mitt, I want the government to support me and refuse to be self sufficient.
disco
September 18th, 2012
4:23 pm
ITL – ditto. some folks are just too comfortable, too uncomfortable or too daggone ignorant. they love to talk diversity but ain’t trying to live diversity.
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
4:24 pm
SexyC – Okaaay…I was just too dang through after I heard that. Not that I was onboard…IJS Can you imagine how it’s gonna be if he wins when he believe 47% of Americans are trifling????
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:25 pm
And he’s not worried about that 47%…(lol)
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
4:25 pm
disco~ I will check that out. I am very interested in this subject as I am forced to walk this line almost constantly. I have tried to explain this to my white friends, but it is a foreign concept to them because they can’t “see” the things that I’m seeing. Often, when the subject is brought up, you get a whole lot of “Oh, I don’t think s/he meant it that way!” “You’re being overly sensitive” etc. And I don’t disagree that there are cases when the minority is overly sensitive to what’s going on HOWEVER many times there overly sentiveness comes from years of systematic slights and overt actions that have caused them to have to “always be on the lookout for the hook”.
Into the Light
September 18th, 2012
4:25 pm
@Mrs. SCool: Your 4:18????
@disco: There are some things I would LOVE to know, but have never asked even my closest AA friends, bc I always worry about crossing the line.
Mrs. SexyCool
September 18th, 2012
4:27 pm
I ask my WF anything I want to know.
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
4:28 pm
SexyC – Exactly…lol
I don’t really do the race relations talk too much because I’m probably gonna be a bit more frank that folks can swallow. Racial issues are real and if I talk about it, I want to say exactl like it is. No sugar coating, no skipping, no dancing around it. But keeping it real, is often too harsh for many.
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
4:29 pm
31 minutes….screaming!!!
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
4:29 pm
The problem overall is that no one really wants to take a look at life for other people. The immigration attorneys here talk about the stories that people from other places do to get here. On the other side, those who have been here worry about folks just coming here for a free ride. Which is not totally true. Bankruptcy code has been used by the rich for years. (Look up how many times Trump business entities have filed bankruptcy. When the poor uses it to save a house, they didn’t manage their money well.. Just when people of either side get entrenced in a side, they don’t really want to see the other side.
i'm swiss
September 18th, 2012
4:30 pm
Afternoon, peeps.
RE: Romney & his 47% remarks… The funny thing to me is that he clearly doesn’t realize that a large portion of those 47% are some of the most hard core teabaggers around — old people, and low-income, rural white people. Then again, they probably don’t realize they’re part of that 47% themselves…