Do men feel pressure to marry?
I don’t know what its like to be single and male, but I can tell you being single and female definitely comes with pressure. The older you get *cough* the more people look at you and start to comment on why you aren’t married, how to fix it, and telling you that you have something left to do in life.
I have never heard of any of my guy friends talk of the same kinds of pressure to be someone’s husband, though. Some of them comment about feeling the need or pressure to have kids, but not necessarily with a wife. Do men feel pressure from family, friends, or even society to get married?
Do you think that there are actual marriages that are a result of “pressure” from everyone else to be married? How do you think that impacts the health of the marriage?
Would you consider dating and marrying someone simply because you feel you should be dating and marrying?
Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
390 comments Add your comment
disco
September 18th, 2012
10:20 am
PG – my son is the one who had his wedding song picked out in junior high (earth wind and fire by the way). he’s quite the romantic. I’m fond of saying kids don’t take after strangers but I have no idea where he got that trait from.
jake – awww. (even though it sounds a bit like the old lady that swallowed the fly).
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 18th, 2012
10:20 am
C I am here! bumpy morning but it finally is subsiding~ GO FALCONS too and what is with Michael Turner?!?
Anyway let me read the topic and chime in~
Thanks C~
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 18th, 2012
10:21 am
Yes Cely, pressure will tear you away from the fabric of your life if you allow it to. That’s not saying you can’t deal with or handle it, to me little pressure equal less stress equal no drama.
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
10:21 am
What’s crackalackin Lady! Pressure girl…lol
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
10:23 am
Blackfoote – I agree. I think society has turned so much so that really, pressure is all around is. IMO though, the only pressure you should feel is within. There are places and strides (in life), I for want to further advance. If it’s not those kinds of pressures, I don’t give it too much credence. We would be crazy changing on turn all because of how others view us or because of where others are in life (their station). You do you (not you Blackfoote, but in general) and I do me
czBrat ♀
September 18th, 2012
10:24 am
well, seems lily and barefoot had my perspective well-covered by 8:30.
can’t say i’ve ever felt pressure to marry. my friends and fam generally follow the “we want for you whatever you want for yourself” support model. and i’m rather surprised that (in this day and age) anyone feels pressure to marry. having kids? yeah. i can believe there might be a push to get people to breed. but marriage? i just don’t see that at all. i mean, we’ve become so accepting of shacking up and same-sex relationships.
the last thing I’m pressuring him to do is marry or have children in that order or any order. lol. folks are always asking me if I’m looking forward to grandchildren and I’m always looking at folks with the side eye.
disco, once again, we are >>>>> here <<<<
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
10:25 am
Michael Turner has baby mama drama and stuff like that. TMZ folks have probably seen the fights between his baby mama and girlfriend. It has been on their website. He probably wanted to celebrate before dealing with the real life stuff. However, real life caught up with him before he made it home.
Robert
September 18th, 2012
10:25 am
“Do men feel pressure from family, friends, or even society to get married?”
I can only speak for myself. I feel “pressure” because I do not want to be “alone” in my golden years. For example I envey my friends who are married and have grandchildren to enjoy. I would give anything in the world to be so lucky. Even though I have grown children I miss the quality family time during the holiday’s, birthday’s and other special occassions. Something in my life that I can not replace.
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
10:25 am
Look at all this reality tv. You think I’d waste months of my life on a show like Bachelor, competing with a gang of women because I feel pressured? Heck, the chance would be better and serve to my benefit walking the sidewalk in search of a mate. All because somewhere someone or something made them feel the pressure of “needing” to get it down…and on dang tv…lol
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
10:26 am
done not down
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 18th, 2012
10:33 am
hmmmm yeah pressure~ #smirk
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 18th, 2012
10:35 am
Hey CZ & Lady ,and disco, how are you lady’s doing?
Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)
September 18th, 2012
10:36 am
Mornting Blog
I’m not looking for marriage…if it happens then fine and if it doesn’t, I’ll still be fine. Marriage is a wonderful institution but it doesn’t define me, my life or my happiness….
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
10:36 am
PG~ He went to jail because he DIDN’T blow (which is fully within his right and the correct course of action to have taken) However, he was still arrested for DUI because “Based on the officer’s training and experience” (LMAO) he detected the strong smell of alcohol and Mr. Turner exhibited characteristics of DUI. I love the things that officer’s say!)
As far as the baby momma drama, I believe the current tally s 7 kids by 5 different women (one of whom is Marquis Grissom’s niece) and they have had to fight him to take care of his kids. Sad. In the last 2 yers of a $35 million dollar contract and you don’t want to take care of what’s yours. SMDH…
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 18th, 2012
10:37 am
Hello C, speaking of reality shows they have a new game show hosted by Wendy Williams where someone has 2 S/O and chooses between them, WTH
czBrat ♀
September 18th, 2012
10:38 am
HiYa, BF. i’m lovely. just lovely. yourself?
awww, robert. that’s so sweet.
only downside to having grandkids is that you have to go through having kids to get them.
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 18th, 2012
10:38 am
Would you consider dating and marrying someone simply because you feel you should be dating and marrying? Nope. I feel I deserve to love again and with that comes respect for a healthy relationship between two folks who aspire the same goals together moving forward. IF, it is not merging accordingly I will NOT save face and stay simply to be in a relationship and marry. I know the end results of that I lived it briefly. At any rate, if the relationship is flowing lovingly, respectfully, and on one accord why not explore and if it blossoms into matrimony hooray too! I will never know a loving partnership. Loving your kids is very differently from loving that one person that compliments your style.
disco
September 18th, 2012
10:39 am
we fine blackfoote (said like Shirley strawberry and ‘nem)
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
10:39 am
On a personal note, I did not feel any pressure ever. I broke off relationship with a good woman before I met Mrs. PG. The woman was good, I was good, but we weren’t good together, IMO. Ultimately, I broke up with her and let her go . I felt it was better than hoping that either she or I changed in that area that bothered me. About 4 months later, I met Mrs. PG during a speed dating event.
Before that particular woman, I was on a self made challenge of having sex on 6 of the 7 continents with women of the continent. Bachelor with money and free time (especially in the spring) . I got 5 of 7 continents. Never expected Antarctica, but I didn’t get Australia either. That is not a goal that is good for settling down and marriage. That South American stuff was so all that. I stopped the search after it. It wasn’t going to topped in Australia.
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 18th, 2012
10:39 am
Howdy BF!!!! All is well sir!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 18th, 2012
10:40 am
Comon, hold up 7 kids by 5 different women, which means at least one has more than one, whats sad is that the woman are that ( don’t want to use the word that comes to mind)
SlimUno
September 18th, 2012
10:40 am
CC – He might be going for that Holyfield record….12 kids by 6 different women.
czBrat ♀
September 18th, 2012
10:42 am
I love the things that officer’s say!
comon, try dating someone in law enforcement who speaks that way in normal convo. ick!
hola, sassy!
SlimUno
September 18th, 2012
10:43 am
SH – Some women feel like babies = $$$ but the only beings getting hurt are the kids especially if they have dead beat dads. Folks will have to realize that $$ ain’t everything even though it does help. I would never want to try to have a kid(aka trap a dude) to get him to always be connected to me or for a paycheck.
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
10:43 am
S/H~ Wallace or Walker (?) has two with him. In her defense, she was the 1st baby momma and she says they were in a relationship and she didn’t know he was spreading it around like that.
Slim~ We can add Cromartie to that group too.
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 18th, 2012
10:43 am
Do you think that there are actual marriages that are a result of “pressure” from everyone else to be married? Yes I do, what I have seen is the college sweetheart fairly tale that crumble many times for whatever reason. Yes, I know there are many that sustain from college also.
How do you think that impacts the health of the marriage? From, what I seen and lived it wasn’t healthy bc I feel the parties were not true to thy own self and did what was expected and not what they truly felt. Most times its an ugly selfish reason that ends the relationship.
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
10:43 am
Single and Happy – Hey there. That’s the gist of most reality (love/relationship shows). Everybody is competing.
Comon Cents
September 18th, 2012
10:45 am
Last I heard, Cromartie is getting ready to welcome babies 11 and 12 (twins) which will make 12 kids by 8 different women. At least he takes care of his though…
Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)
September 18th, 2012
10:45 am
Hola czBrat…¿Cómo estás?
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
10:45 am
I’m tossing the side eye to any woman or man that takes up with a person and they have 3 or 4 kids already. Unless those children are a product of a marriage between the two same individuals, I don’t think I could like anybody enough to start a relationship and they have loose ends.
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
10:46 am
CC-
So I figured right on that Turner thing in regards to the test. I guess that makes his case easier for his attorney.
I didn’t comment on the reason for his drama. I just noted that he has drama.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 18th, 2012
10:46 am
Comon, 1 mistake, 2 you knew better!!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 18th, 2012
10:48 am
C I feel you on the kids thing, you can tell when a man is taking care of his kids. So when they have one and then start complaining about what he aint doing, WTH did they think was going to make them so different??
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 18th, 2012
10:48 am
Glad to see you lady’s doing well, I’m hanging CZ like a spider on a pine tree.
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 18th, 2012
10:50 am
earlier I meant I will never KNOCK a loving partnership not KNOW bc I have a great one going forward ironically…..smh lol
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
10:50 am
I can attest that you spend more time and energy chasing after a check (i.e. childsupport) than if you just did the dang thing yourself. Not saying men should not pay or get off scott free having babies, but not providing for. You can make bigger strides and move a little higher if you drop the dead weight. The worst thing in the world is “making” someone do something they absolutely despise doing.
For those women getting babies as a means to funds, that’s a never ending cycle of going nowhere, unless they wake up and wise up. That is just the craziest thing but it happens.
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
10:51 am
Single and Happy – Exactly, so so true.
czBrat ♀
September 18th, 2012
10:51 am
lol @ bf. oookay. feeling any pressure to snag a lil sumpn in your web?
bien, bien, sassy. no complaints here.
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
10:54 am
I’m not a reality tv show fan but I will say, I got a kick out of buddy getting the $250K on Bachelor Pad. They called him ruthless and heartless but he never caved to the pressure of what folks thought…lol He took the money and raaaaaaaaaaaan!!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
September 18th, 2012
10:55 am
That’s a good one CZ…….LOL
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 18th, 2012
10:56 am
C the time spent chasing that child support check is part of having a child. True you shouldn’t have to chase anyone to take care of their child but in the end you owe it to the child to make that effort.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 18th, 2012
10:59 am
C on that show with WW the person that doesn’t get picked gets a glass door slammed in their face so you can see their reaction, in the first episode the girl was standing there looking like she was really hurt. I’m thinking why would you want to go on tv and take that chance.
Lady~sharpness is > than smartness
September 18th, 2012
10:59 am
C love your 10:50!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 18th, 2012
11:00 am
Slim I know to some babies =$ but if he aint paying for the others, where do you think you’re going to get some from? and when his career is over, what then??
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
11:00 am
Single and Happy – I agree….somewhat. I made due diligence for taking the kid’s dad to court. Sometimes he paid, sometimes he made excuses. With the man hours, and aggravation of the system and how it works seemingly against the CP, after a while, I said forget it. I never felt like he wasn’t responsible nor did I feel like he shouldn’t be “made” to pay, but taking a chunk out of my life was not worth the time and effort IMO. I did it during my struggling years. When I started advancing and doing better, I found things came together much better for me and child. I resolved to allowing what was coming back on him for not doing, could do a much better job in whipping his behind than I could keeping him and myself tied up in court. So, I said “f a g e t a b o u t h i m”, and haven’t looked back since. Ask me how life turned out for him?
Celisea
September 18th, 2012
11:02 am
Lady – Thanks girlie. It’s all truth
Single – I just don’t get what folks don’t get about being contestants on reality tv. I guess some feel it’s their time to shine, or their opportunity in chasing their dreams…be it man or money. A lot of it though seems humiliating.
disco
September 18th, 2012
11:02 am
PG – speed dating? how cool. i never attended one. never knew anyone who attended one (or at least who owned up to it). only ever saw it on tv and in movies.
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
11:02 am
CC-
He is spreading his seed. I hope that he has something set aside for when he retires. The payments must continue until he can get a modification.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
September 18th, 2012
11:02 am
C okay, how did it turn out for him?
Poppa Grande
September 18th, 2012
11:03 am
CC-
That previous post was about Cromartie.