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At home dinner dates?

My friend Jeff was offended that a woman he asked over to his house for a first date declined his offer. She has known him for months but they only started dating a couple of weeks ago. She told him she was not comfortable having a date at his house.

I can understand why she feels that way. When you invite someone over to your house, it sets things up for a certain level of intimacy. For a lot of women, we have to work up to that point. Not everyone is itching to going all domestic and nestling during those house dates.

Jeff thinks she just wants him to spend money on her and take her out. I’m sure that’s possible, but I would argue that this lady just knows what she wants and is fine with waiting to the appropriate time to go to a man’s house. Should she be penalized for that? Cut her some slack!

What do you think? When is the right time to invite someone over to your house? When someone asks you to a “at home” date, does that mean they are in to you? Does it always mean they are going to try and make a move towards physical intimacy?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

224 comments Add your comment

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:30 pm

Boy, I’m ready to go

Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)

September 12th, 2012
4:32 pm

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:33 pm

I have absolutely nothing on my agenda tonight. I just wanna go home, get in some comfy drawers, lay across the bed and chill….lol Of course I’m not cooking. Did that 2 nights in a row :)

Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)

September 12th, 2012
4:40 pm

When I get home I’m going to do a couple miles on the treadmill…might do some weights might not…

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:42 pm

I can’t help it…the D is great! I want more of that and only that! We’ll see…

I’m so ready to get out of here, but I have so much to do at home…I almost dread going home…

Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)

September 12th, 2012
4:50 pm

the D is great! I want more of that and only that!

Bluz if I were next to you right now I’d shake the hell out of you. Stop acting like you ain’t never been d!cked down well before…stop it I say. And if you only want the stick then stop tryna be his friend cause he’ll see through it…if he already hasn’t. See you shoulda
f!@ked him well the first time and left his azz alone…but noooo you didn’t do that.

You gotta play cool….desperation can blow your cover. NO I’m not saying you’re desperate….just don’t act like it. As a matter of fact, just to mess with his head you should act like you don’t want his wood or his friendship and see what he does.

When a person shows you who they REALLY are…pay attention.

SassaFrass gettin her short a$$ off the soap box….

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:52 pm

LOL Sassy! I really do want to be friends…D or no D. I think we can make great friends, but I know we would not be good in a relationship together.

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:52 pm

Plus Sassy…I want to stick with what I know is good…I don’t want to increase my “number”!

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:53 pm

When a person shows you who they REALLY are…pay attention.

You ain’t NEVA lied here. We need to hang this outside the blog entrance and add to our name badges as we pick them up on the way in!!!

Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)

September 12th, 2012
4:53 pm

Alright folks…read y’all tomorrow.

Bluz…you’ve got the strength God gave all us women…

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:54 pm

Bluzy – So, did you send the long email you wanted to send? Did you ask him for dinner so y’all have a sitdown?

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:55 pm

Imma have to cosign that 4:53 as well cause I jus thinking when I typed the other post that all of us no doubt have been under the spell or a good lover. But ain’t nobody that grand that you can’t cut it loose. Mind over matter.

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:56 pm

I “was just” thinking

and

“of a good lover”

Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)

September 12th, 2012
4:57 pm

True that Celi…

I really do want to be friends…D or no D.

Chile puhleaze stop blowing that smoke up my azz before you give me a cold…D or NO D…f.uck being friends. If he wants to be your friend then LET HIM SHOW YOU THAT….IF NOT K.I.M.(keep it moving).

Okay now I’m out….

i'm swiss

September 12th, 2012
4:58 pm

Cel / Sassy — Might as well save it for next week. We all know where this is going. At least we’ll have some entertainment up in this piece, even if said entertainment does make us want to bang our collective heads against the blog wall.

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:58 pm

Night Sassy and I soooo cosign :mrgreen: Keeping it real…dontcha just love women

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:59 pm

Swiss – For a rainy day huh? When we ain’t got nothing else, Bluz can drop a bit of fun our way…lol

Dontcha just love women as in “sisterhood”

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
5:01 pm

Cel – I did send a short message to him that night (yes…under Ambien influence). It sparked some good back and forth between us the next day. We both got to say some things that we needed to say and agreed to start over and go back to the way things used to be. He enlightened me to some things he’s going through and there is just too much. We agreed that we are much better at being friends and neither one of us is in a place to be in a relationship. It’s been very casual since then and it does feel like old times. I mentioned him coming with me tomorrow because it would be good for his career to go to the jam and since I’m going anyway, he can come ride with me. Part of me wants to make sure that things won’t be awkward when we see each other

Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)

September 12th, 2012
5:01 pm

G’nite Celi…

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
5:03 pm

Sassy…he is already showing himself as a friend by helping me out with hanging posters around town for me.

I gotta run for now…will check in when I get home.

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
5:03 pm

Bluzy – Okaaaay, if you say so. But you just admitted you wanna have sex. All I can say is you’re an adult and “the morning after” is gonna suck

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
5:04 pm

Bluzy – Okaaaay, if you say so. But you just admitted you wanna have sex. All I can say is you’re an adult and “the morning after” is gonna suck, but being a big girl, just roll with it. You are permitted back on the couch…lol

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
5:13 pm

I’m planning on just going with the flow. I feel strong enough at this point to not have any more feelings towards him. It sucks that we came close to messing everything up. We are both good people, but good together.

SchizoFunkenstein

September 13th, 2012
12:30 am

open for business? it’s us, schizo man! im so pretty, i fool all the clucks. i fool then fools without even fooling them. i steal on them and steal away. just ain’t met them yet. im good! im pretty!