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At home dinner dates?

My friend Jeff was offended that a woman he asked over to his house for a first date declined his offer. She has known him for months but they only started dating a couple of weeks ago. She told him she was not comfortable having a date at his house.

I can understand why she feels that way. When you invite someone over to your house, it sets things up for a certain level of intimacy. For a lot of women, we have to work up to that point. Not everyone is itching to going all domestic and nestling during those house dates.

Jeff thinks she just wants him to spend money on her and take her out. I’m sure that’s possible, but I would argue that this lady just knows what she wants and is fine with waiting to the appropriate time to go to a man’s house. Should she be penalized for that? Cut her some slack!

What do you think? When is the right time to invite someone over to your house? When someone asks you to a “at home” date, does that mean they are in to you? Does it always mean they are going to try and make a move towards physical intimacy?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

224 comments Add your comment

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:02 pm

I’m bout to doubt Mmeello (blog love you still)….lolololol

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:04 pm

Takes a lot of talent (not really..probably the crazies) and energy though to pull it off. Oh, and a lot of time on someone’s hands…lol…IJS

Anyhoo, it’s just a crazy talking to yourself….lolol

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 12th, 2012
3:10 pm

okay C, you not talking to yourself :-D

Willie Dynamite

September 12th, 2012
3:11 pm

Cel – you sure do know how to clear a room. Hahaha j/k j/k

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:13 pm

Single and Happy – Who me? I said nothing :roll:

WillieD – I will have you to know, that PG was telling the walls about Rio, so officially…wudn’t me

lolololol

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:15 pm

Well, I would toss something out there at you gents but y’all might get crazy with it…soooo nevermind

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 12th, 2012
3:16 pm

okay now you know you have to toss it out :-D

SlimUno

September 12th, 2012
3:17 pm

I’m still sitting here watching the walls dry

SlimUno

September 12th, 2012
3:19 pm

Cel – PULEAZZZE throw it out there…we’re starving for convo and frankly I think i’m going through Bluz Drama Withdrawals. :oops:

Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)

September 12th, 2012
3:23 pm

I think i’m going through Bluz Drama Withdrawals.

:lol:

Must be a slow blog day…

Celi…how you gone dangle the carrot and then pull it back…throw it out there chica…

Willie Dynamite

September 12th, 2012
3:27 pm

Carrot dangler indeed

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 12th, 2012
3:33 pm

slim, watch what you ask for (LOL)

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
3:37 pm

Hey Slim…I resemble that remark…

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 12th, 2012
3:37 pm

SlimUno

September 12th, 2012
3:37 pm

Cel – If you’re scared, just change your moniker until you get the story out, then change it back after we pick it apart :lol:

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
3:38 pm

I can say that I won’t have time for any drama in the next couple of weeks…too much other stuff going on and won’t allow myself to get bogged down by anything!

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 12th, 2012
3:40 pm

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (dancing) LOL

SlimUno

September 12th, 2012
3:43 pm

Bluz – So you look like or are similar to my remark? :lol: But be honest, you gave us something to chat about on many a slow blog day and for that, I thank You.

C’mon five-o-clock

cba

September 12th, 2012
3:45 pm

Cel~you know if you hold “stuff” too long, it’ll back up on you like trapped gas :shock: :lol:

SlimUno

September 12th, 2012
3:47 pm

Well for what it’s worth, I’ve recently found out that there are several employees here (women) that are cheating on their husbands. I can’t say that i’m really surprised by that as I am the openness in which they discuss it.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 12th, 2012
3:48 pm

hmm slim where you work (LOL)

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:50 pm

LOLOLOLOL….y’all are sooo crazy. I stepped away to take a call. So it was just 1 person in the room.

Imma wait until Friday. Might be kind of too quick to toss. Let me see how things go. If it’s slow Friday, I’m tossing.

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:51 pm

But I know Bluzy has something. What’s the dealio chica?

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:52 pm

wasn’t just 1 person in the room…is what I meant.

i'm swiss

September 12th, 2012
3:53 pm

C — If your story is juicy enough, I might be tossing, too… IJS… :lol:

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
3:54 pm

Very true Slim…very true… :-)

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:55 pm

Slim – If you’re scared, just change your moniker until you get the story out, then change it back after we pick it apart

I LOL’d on this one. Remember folks us to do that?

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:55 pm

Swiss – Haaaaaaaaay (said like sha nae nae)

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
3:56 pm

Slim – You could always share your work stuff on here.

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
3:59 pm

Cel – really…nothing right now. Although, I can throw out the website that tells you about the event I’m involved in planning…

http://www.seancostellfund.org

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:00 pm

Oops…www.seancostellofund.org

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:02 pm

Bluzy – Gotcha. You might wanna tell those folks that the link is coming up wrong. I know you said oops, but it should come up correct on the actual website. You took it directly from there correct? This ain’t a bogus link it is? We ain’t gonna see you and the clown or the music man shagging are we? lolololol

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 12th, 2012
4:03 pm

well time to shut it down, have a good one

Cel, let bluz have her up time, she needs a break

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:04 pm

HAHAHA!!! I just mis-typed the first time. I promise it ain’t bogus! We’re doing a roots and blues benefit on the 29th, which is what will be keeping me very busy!

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:04 pm

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:05 pm

:mrgreen: Just want to make sure that ain’t to some webcam thingy you had going on

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:05 pm

Goooodnight Single

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:06 pm

I at least hope there will be no drama soon. Mags and I may be hanging out tomorrow for the first time since everything went down. It will be fine, though. He actually is helping me today by hanging posters all over town for the event. Helped my stress big time!

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:07 pm

Cel – Nope…I keep those things private! LOL

i'm swiss

September 12th, 2012
4:13 pm

Place your bets… I’ve got 7.5 to 1 that Bluz gives up the puddy tomorrow. :lol:

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:15 pm

swiss – I honestly wouldn’t mind that happening! ;-) I don’t think it will at this time, but I’m totally game for that! I really am over any feelings more than friendship…he is NOT boyfriend material!

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:15 pm

Plus…I’ll be sober, so I won’t do anything I’ll regret!

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:16 pm

Bluzy – Just remember, “the morning after”

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:18 pm

I’m pretty sure I can handle the “benefits” now…if he’s willing to still give that up! He has WAY too many issues (more than I knew previously) for me to catch feelings again…

i'm swiss

September 12th, 2012
4:19 pm

Alright, updated bets. The “giving up the puddy” line is off the board, since that is now a near certainty. Over/under on days until Bluz decides to give dude a 2nd chance is 2.5. Over/under on days until Bluz is blindsided by dude’s lack of interest in serious relationship is 5.5. Place your bets, everyone! :lol:

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:19 pm

Who knows…we may not even be hanging out tomorrow. I told him that I was going to a blues jam and he was welcome to join me and he said that sounded like fun. I won’t be hurt if he doesn’t go…

Bluzgirl

September 12th, 2012
4:20 pm

swiss…he may not want to give up the D! Seriously…there will not be anything more than a friendship. I just want to get some at this point!

Sassy Me...live..laugh..love ;-)

September 12th, 2012
4:25 pm

there will not be anything more than a friendship. I just want to get some at this point!

See Blue that’s where you’re effing up…that “friend” thing..you’re either going to be his friend and THAT’S IT, or y’all gone f!@k and just not be friends. Plain n simple. The way you read it wouldn’t behoove you to get intimate with him cause you’d be sprung on the D…plus if he knows you want it the way you do he might play keep away with the stick.. IJS…

i'm swiss

September 12th, 2012
4:27 pm

“he may not want to give up the D”

I gotta hand it to this dude — he’s got you seriously di.ckmatyzed… :lol:

Celisea

September 12th, 2012
4:29 pm

you’re either going to be his friend and THAT’S IT, or y’all gone f!@k and just not be friends. Plain n simple.

Cosign. When you’re “sprung”, you have to detox yourself. A crackhead can’t hang around the crackhouse and not succumb. IJS