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Dating: Rejection and big egos

Have you ever been out somewhere, minding your own business, and you get approached – when you really don’t want to be? Things can get kind of awkward but it only gets worse when someone’s massive ego gets bruised and they can’t handle it.

In the last few days, I have heard disturbing stories of people completely losing their cool when they get turned down. It’s like they go from sweet talk to rage speak in sixty seconds! Whatever happened to bowing out gracefully or going away quietly?

Of course, letting someone down should be done in a gentle manner, but why do you think some people don’t just move on? What do you do if things escalate?

What is the best way to say you are not interested in someone?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

390 comments Add your comment

Poppa Grande

September 11th, 2012
10:27 am

Blackfoote

I agree. As with many things in life, it is all in how you spin it and use it I always learned more in my miscues, failure and rejections than I did in the “wins”.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 11th, 2012
10:28 am

LOL……Cely you crack me up when you throw that green smiley face out here.

Celisea

September 11th, 2012
10:30 am

Blackfoote – That’s how I feel on the inside :mrgreen: That radiates more than the yellow smiley….lololol

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 11th, 2012
10:30 am

PG, Comon, do you remember the game where the coach sent the player over to ask Woody Hayes to call off his team, and his replied by telling his team to step on the gas.

And there was also a quote from Bobby Bowden when asked about running up the score he replied if we can score 50 in the first half, why can’t they do it in the second!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 11th, 2012
10:30 am

Poppa G that’s exactly what I mean.

Leggs

September 11th, 2012
10:32 am

BF ~ representatives from Cantor Fitzgerald was meeting here at our offices when the planes struck. Disbelief and tears quickly followed. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the second plane it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 11th, 2012
10:32 am

Comon that was me in the yard, funny thing all my weeds are gone…….LOL

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 11th, 2012
10:39 am

Leggs the first responding people are still my heroes, and it was also saddening to find out the second plane had a lot children on it.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 11th, 2012
10:39 am

BF you get your weed out the yard too, I thought only my friends in Jamaica did that (LOL)

Poppa Grande

September 11th, 2012
10:40 am

S&H

yup.

I feel that it is preparation for the real world. It is tough and no one feels sorry enough for you to stop coming at you. Georgia Power does not really care what is going on with you. You better just pay them or call them to work out a way to pay them. They aren’t gonna say “that ok, we’ll keep the lights on for free while you are getting yourself together.” You have to learn how to adapt if you want lights.

disco

September 11th, 2012
10:46 am

PG – I have a friend (retired military) who was always saying adjust and adapt. used to get on my dang nerves. I understand the need to adjust and adapt. just didn’t want to hear it all the time. lol.

Comon Cents

September 11th, 2012
10:46 am

PS & S/H~ AMEN! I tell my chidren all the time that life owes them nothing. Life is unfair, but it’s unfair for everyone so I guess that makes it kind of fair.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 11th, 2012
10:46 am

PG, it’s funny how the things that built character in us, alot of people don’t seem to want the same for their kids.

Celisea

September 11th, 2012
10:47 am

Life is always fair. How you roll with it is the make or break portion of it.

Celisea

September 11th, 2012
10:48 am

Hills, valleys, highs and lows. Everyone gets it handed to them at some point. Whether or not you whiner……..

kimmie

September 11th, 2012
10:48 am

Morning Gang!

9-11-2001 – I was going to meet with my dad’s accountant, so I was going to go into work a little late. I had the tv on, gathering papers for the meeting and was yacking on the phone with one of my friends. I was not really paying attention to the tv, so when I glanced up and saw the replay of the plane hitting the tower, I seriously thought there was some movie on, not real life! My friend on the phone asked if I had the tv on and what was happening. I stopped and listened to Katie Couric and realized what was happening. I got off the phone with her & called to check my work voicemail. There were about 12 messages! I called my boss and she said maybe I should come on in to support my team. Cancelled the meeting and came in. I worked near the airport at the time, in fact our building overlooked the Delta hanger. It was completely EERY seeing all those planes grounded and the signs over the highway saying “National Emergency, all flights cancelled”! One of my employees was from NY and had gone home to get word about her cousin, who worked in one of the towers. Another of my employees also had a cousin working in the towers who later got word the cousin died. I pulled up this newpaper online, this was before the blog, and all I got was a white screen with – WTC ATTACKED in big black letters – that’s all!!

It was a scary day!

On topic – I though the topic was like Comon said – folks that can’t take initial rejection upon approaching someone. There have always been crazies and always will be, but I agree about this new breed of folk that cannot deal with the realities of life – which rejection is one of them and something we will all experience. Get over it, I said no thank you nicely, now keep it moving or I’ll have to call somebody!

Poppa Grande

September 11th, 2012
10:51 am

My wife still hasn’t been able to visit Ground Zero or the memorial. We’ve been to NYC many times since then, but her emotions get the best of her. One time we walking and almost got there and she just froze. She lost quite a few friends that day. One other friend was supposed to be at work when it happened, but she stopped to vote (i think that was an election day for the city) and was late to work. Otherwise, she would have been in the second building that was hit.

disco

September 11th, 2012
10:53 am

kimmie – re calling in reinforcements. that’s what I’m talking about.

Poppa Grande

September 11th, 2012
10:54 am

I tell my nephew and nieces that “Fair” is where you see Uncle PG eat those huge turkey legs and you guys get funnel cake. Fair doesn’t really exist anywhere else.”

kimmie

September 11th, 2012
10:55 am

Comon & Others – My mom used to tell us all the time no matter how cute/smart/etc you are, there is always someone out there that is moreso. That was to let us know not to be full of ourselves and realize we would have to work hard to be better than the rest. Nobody is going to give you anything cause you’re cute and there are no shortcuts. I thank my parents for raising us to be able to deal with the REAL WORLD while at the same time building our self-esteem. It is possible, but alot of these parents don’t seem to be able to swing it. I feel sorry for the kids when they get out and realize nobody thinks they are all that but their mama & daddy. Out here, you are just a small fish in a big pond and you gotta pay your dues.

Leggs

September 11th, 2012
10:57 am

I do my best not to deal with those spazzing out over a “No, thank you, not interested” moment in time. I know my mouth will probably get me in more trouble if I refute anything else coming out of his mouth, so I quickly find a herd of other humans and let him be.

Comon Cents

September 11th, 2012
10:58 am

kimmie~ My mom used to tell me the same thing. And it is DEFINITELY true.

Comon Cents

September 11th, 2012
11:00 am

so I quickly find a herd of other humans and let him be.

Leggs, you hanging out at the meat markets? :lol:

Celisea

September 11th, 2012
11:00 am

Life works the same for all of us. Again, you have your highs and your lows, death and life, the good and the bad. What you cannot do though is measure mine to yours or vice versa. And you cannot assume because you can’t see over into someone else’s yard that they’re getting a better deal. You want it, you work to get it. It’s not unfair just because life didn’t dump what you want in your lap. That’s just like sometimes it’s sunny and sometimes there’s rain. You don’t ever see one individual walking around with a small cloud over their head. Each individual’s outlook makes the real difference. If I can smile when the sun is shining, I can smile when it rains. If I chose not to, then that’s me. But without rain, you wouldn’t appreciate the sun. Everyone gets a heaping of both.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 11th, 2012
11:00 am

Kimmie sad stories piled up all over that day thank you for yours. Like Pres. Franklin D. Roosevelt said about Pearl Harbor “this day will live in infamy”.

Leggs

September 11th, 2012
11:01 am

kimmie

September 11th, 2012
11:01 am

Poppa – I visited NYC about 10 years before the attacks and got a few little souviniers from the WTC – key chains, lapel pins of the towers and I pulled them out that day.

My dad’s side of the family is from Oklahoma and there are a few still there, in OKC. One of my cousins worked in that government building that was bombed and she had a child that went to the daycare located in the building. They ran late that day because baby had to go to the bathroom. Had they been on time, they would have been in the building! :shock:

Celisea

September 11th, 2012
11:02 am

And many many many times, what people won’t admit is what you’re getting is often the outcome of a choice or decision you made. Life is not going to go opposite of that. You made a bad decision but reap good. Nope. You make a bad decision, then make good on it and turn it around yourself. Not that it’s unfair though.

disco

September 11th, 2012
11:03 am

CC / kimmie – y’all crazy. my folks for sure let us know that “one monkey didn’t stop no show”. we definitely knew that the world didn’t revolve around us (not even the world inside of our house).

Bluzgirl

September 11th, 2012
11:03 am

Nothing really to add to the topic. Ya’ll got it pretty much covered.

I’ll never forget 11 years ago coming into work and people talking about it. We took turns going up stairs to watch the tv in the break room. When I went up there, I saw the second plane hit. It about made me sick to watch it. I work at a credit union and one of our offices is in the federal building downtown. They closed the building and my bosses decided to just close all of our locations at 1:00 that day. I remember trying to get ahold of my dad and couldn’t get the cell phone to work for a while. He works in construction and is always all over town…I was scared that he would be near the federal buildings and be in danger. I cried when I finally got in touch with him. It was eerie to not know exactly what was going on and if more places were in danger.

I visted Ground Zero about a year after the attack and I remember the strange feeling standing there. Everyone and everything around there was silent. It’s like I could feel the heartache and I just cried…

Leggs

September 11th, 2012
11:04 am

Comon ~ :lol: It does sound like that.

disco

September 11th, 2012
11:05 am

as for the topic of fairness, my grandmother used to say that everything isn’t for everybody. if it’s for you, you’ll get it. if it’s not for you, you won’t. sometimes you may do all the right things and not get the desired result. sometimes you can be wrong as two left shoes and doors will still open for you. what’s meant to be will be.

Leggs

September 11th, 2012
11:08 am

kimmie ~ it’s those “running late” stories that are unbelieveable. I remember a story of a man whose heel broke on his shoe and he was on his way to an interview. He had to stop at a shoe repair shop a few blocks from The WTC to glue the heel back on and then wait for it to dry. He never made it to the interview…

Poppa Grande

September 11th, 2012
11:08 am

Kimmie-

Well, good, that baby’s bowels saved a few lives that day. As for me, I had a friend that was stuck in Europe because the airports was all shutdown. He had gotten married a week or so before 9/11/01 and was due to come back 9/12/01. They ended staying in Spain for 1 week longer than planned.

I remember my boss let us go home at lunch that day. I guess that he realized that there wasn’t much work getting done with us watching coverage on our computers.

Leggs

September 11th, 2012
11:11 am

I grew up with “one monkey don’t stop no show” too, disco. My mother even bought us the “barrel of monkies” game telling us we are all monkies in the game of life and it’s up to us to get out of the barrel. I rmember asking Mama why she calling us monkies???

Comon Cents

September 11th, 2012
11:12 am

C~ While agree that about 2% of life is what happens to you and 99% is how you react to it, yes, there are circumstances that unfair. The 10 year old who loses his mother to cancer. Unfair. The woman whose child got shot while she was driving on the interstate. Unfair. The mom who loses her daughter/son to childhood illness or SIDS. Unfair. So, yeah, life can deal you some lemons, but you are correct that your attitude is the game changer whether for the positive or the negative.

Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)

September 11th, 2012
11:15 am

You want it, you work to get it.<<<<TRUTH C~

Comon Cents

September 11th, 2012
11:15 am

99 + 2 = 101? Thank God I’m in law and not banking, right? LOL!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 11th, 2012
11:16 am

I wont forget the folks at the Pentagon and Pennsylvania either. Folks on the plane that crashed in PA. real heroes.

kimmie

September 11th, 2012
11:16 am

Part of that “unfairness” of life is understanding that everything is not going to be “straight across the board” for everyone. Yes, you might slave away to move up in the company, but see Joe over there that just started get promoted quicker cause he goes to the same church as the boss and is good friends with him. It sucks, but I don’t knock anyone for having a hookup or inside track cause I sure would take advantage of it if I had it. Sometimes it’s who you know. All I can do is try to cultivate some contacts of my own and be ready/prepared when my turn comes!

Celisea

September 11th, 2012
11:17 am

CC – I disagree. Well, I believe God (yep I said it), runs the world and allows certain things to be. Jut because he won’t give you an explanation of why, is not unfair. If you don’t know the life of the 10 year old and how it’s going to play out, then you can’t say it’s unfair. I have an aunt that lost her mother at 9. Now, from what I hear the family was straight hulagins. She ended up being raised in a better environment, went on to become the first lady at her church, raised two beautiful children. Have outlived her husband, worked all her life taking care of kids that went without. Has a list every Christmas and beginning of school, with children out of single parent homes where she purchases their gifts. So, unless you can predict and say WHY it’s unfair, you can’t call it that. Each of us will lose out mother. If you can deal with it, grieve, be blessed by the years you had and move on, then why can’t I?

Leggs

September 11th, 2012
11:18 am

CCA = Alicia Keys (4) 741-1075. Sorry, didn’t hear the prize

Celisea

September 11th, 2012
11:18 am

Thanks Lady. I’m happy I have the outlook I have and I’m happy I’m not teaching my kid that life is unfair, cause it’s not.

Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)

September 11th, 2012
11:18 am

Each individual’s outlook makes the real difference. If I can smile when the sun is shining, I can smile when it rains. If I chose not to, then that’s me. But without rain, you wouldn’t appreciate the sun. Everyone gets a heaping of both.<<<<<Love your wisdom C~ So true~ Balance is key~

Poppa Grande

September 11th, 2012
11:19 am

CC-

I agree with your 11:12. As a football player, we did a lot of community service. Going into children hospital and seeing what many kid’s face through no fault of their own. Many have that great attitude and live each day to fullest, but their little bodies can only handle so much. To this day, I still find ways to give the Camp Twin Lakes and The Make A Wish Foundations.

That more than anything skews me away from the existence of fairness. It just my opinion though.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 11th, 2012
11:20 am

Cely you’re putting some of that good old fashioned work your tail off knowledge here. If some juveniles were reading they would learn something today.

Celisea

September 11th, 2012
11:20 am

And I believe losing a mother at 9 is just as tragic as losing a mother at 49. The lady I mentioned is now being cared for by her daughter and lovingly too, because that’s what she put out in her life. I believe losing her mother afforded her a better opportunity, if you will to serve and give back. Now, only God in heaven knows how she would have turned out staying in the environment she was born in. I’d say she’s lived a beautiful life.

Comon Cents

September 11th, 2012
11:20 am

Cosign on BF’s 11:16. Those stories broke my heart.

On 9/11/2001 I had just dropped my son to daycare and was headed to the house to get ready for work when I heard that a plane had “accidentially” crashed into the WTC. When I got home, I urned on the news and was watching the coverage when the second plane hit the towers. I remember thinking to myself “Do they film the towers all the time that they were able to catch an accidental crash on tape?!” Then, I realized that it was no accident and we were under attack. Called out, stayed home (strangely enough with the then boyfriend who is now the hubby) and we watched the footae all day. I have a a friend whose mother worked in the towers and survived. To this day she will not talk about what happened there. I also had family friends who were killed in the attacks. I am like PG’s wife; I have been back to NY several times since the attacks, but I just can’t bring myself to go to Ground Zero. Too much heartbreak.

Celisea

September 11th, 2012
11:22 am

Thanks Blackfoote and Lady :mrgreen:

disco

September 11th, 2012
11:30 am

still on fair? I remember the little squirmishes we used to have over who got the toy/prize in the cereal box. no matter who got the prize – me or my brother – it wasn’t fair. lol.