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How many dates does it take?

My friend Justin recently asked me, “How many dates does it take for you to figure out if you want to know more about someone?” – which sort of made me pause. I hadn’t thought of an arbitrary number before because I guess I always knew on date one whether or not there was a connection. Is one date enough, though?

Chemistry is such a weird and unpredictable thing. A lot of times, there are no sparks on the first date, or second date! Heck, you may not feel the boom until date four! The problem is – we usually don’t wait that long for it to show up!

First dates are not everything. Perhaps we all should give our potentials a little time to “cook” to see how hot things could get. Do you think three dates is enough to know if you want to continue seeing someone?

How many dates does it take before you decide the chemistry is there or not there?

What do you like to see, think, or feel about someone to decide whether or not you two are compatible?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

274 comments Add your comment

i'm swiss

September 7th, 2012
6:27 am

FIRST AGAIN! BOOM!

In yo’ FACE, Lily! ;-)

Oh, and morning, folks.

Lily

September 7th, 2012
7:04 am

Much can be determined by a first date.

@im swiss, that made me laugh :)

Lily

September 7th, 2012
7:05 am

Oh, morning!

Lily

September 7th, 2012
7:15 am

A first date can be make or break, run (away) or walk (to). You shouldn’t be proposing, I don’t believe, but a first date can say a lot.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
7:23 am

How many dates depends on the people, and what they are looking for. Unless someone does something really crazy a first date shouldn’t be what you measure a person by because most of the time it’s just their representative, the real person doesn’t show up until around 6 months later.

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
7:45 am

Morning,

I’m at home today :)

On topic: I don’t know how many dates it takes to decide if chemistry is there…or not. As it relates to chemistry, IMO it’s there or not date 1 or 100. Now, for other reasons and coming to learn who a person is may be cause to call it quits but still, there can be chemistry. And just because there’s chemistry, that’s not necessarily to say y’all got that “thang” for making it work.

I dunno, I tend to think chemistry is more so the component for having a physical connection…initially. From there, you decide if everything else is a go. That’s just me though and how I view chemistry. Don’t get me wrong, I think it can be foundational but I also think it depends on how each individual view “chemistry.”

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
7:46 am

Wait…I should say I’m at home trying to decide if I’m going in or working from home… If I sit here much longer, I’m definitely working from home today :)

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
8:03 am

I was VERY impressed with Obama’s message. He kept it real!

Big Al

September 7th, 2012
8:33 am

The first date usually confirms whether or not the woman is psychotic. I’ve been on a lot of first dates and met a lot of psychotic women. I think I have a magnetic field around me that attracts all the crazies.

Comon Cents~ It's Friday, Y'all!

September 7th, 2012
8:47 am

I think that there must be someting there on the first date, otherwise why would you go on a second? Chemistry, intrigue, something. Although, on the other side of that coin, you have people who are friends for years before realizing that their soul mate was in front of them the whole time. I guess it depends on the person.

O/T~ Seeking opinions this morning. As I have said in the past, my 8th grader is in a private school. He plays football and is very talented. The issue is, he is increasingly frustrated because his school’s football team sucks. (I don’t say that lightly; they REALLY suck) Yesterday night, they lost 42-0. The question is this, my son is frustrated with the thought of going on to 4 years of high school with a team that a) loses and b) doesn’t seem to care that they lose. (I think it is the latter more than the former that bothers him) so he would like to transfer to another school or go back to public school. He is ADHD (which was why we chose the school to begin with and academically he is blossoming at this school). Is football (or any other extra curricular) enough to seek out a new school?

SlimUno

September 7th, 2012
9:02 am

Good morning,

Cel – I was going to say, you’re at home and up this early? lol I’d still be farting and rolling over right about now ;-)

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:03 am

LMBO…..Big Al, boy stop. You made me (almost) spit out my coffee…lol It’s not them Big Al, it’s yooooooouuuu…lol If you’re the common denominator then there you have it. Know the crazy that resides within :) :) You know most crazy people thinks everyone else is crazy, right?

People, don’t have food or drink in mouth when you hit refresh

I kid I kid…just funning

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:05 am

Slim – LMBO…I was only up because I was trying to decide whether to go or stay. If I’d known concretely that I wasn’t going, then yeah I’d be doing what you said…lol Trust me,

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:15 am

Wow…buddy was kissing this chick’s feet in an effort to impress and get picked. Well, he was not chosen and on his exit he said “I’m glad I was let go cause I ain’t kissing no more feet…CAUSE THEY STINK” I’m rolling.

SlimUno

September 7th, 2012
9:16 am

Cel – I started not to come The beau and I had a few cocktails last night so we both work up late. I must’ve made them just right…meaning, mixed well enough to where they don’t taste strong but are strong. I don’t even remember going to bed last night lol

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:17 am

Slim – That’s funny. Yeah, if you don’t remember going to bed apparently they were pretty strong. At least y’all was at home. Make it strong as you can stand it…lololol You should have play hookie and whooped it up. No better day than “stealing” away for a little fun.

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:18 am

played not play

If you’re getting your toes suck, make sure there’s no “toemain” going on…lololol

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:19 am

sucked not suck

I’m playing too much I see.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
9:21 am

Comon, academics first, football second. Talented players on sorry teams still get offered scholarships, and these days, they are making it harder and harder to hide bad grades.

Leggs

September 7th, 2012
9:22 am

Good morning.

I would think the first date is the deciding factor on whether you want to go on a second date. Sometimes, first dates can be nervous ones, so with a second date, a better assessment can be made on the chemistry of both parties.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
9:24 am

Big Al and the psycho women, or is it psycho Big Al and the sane women who run away (LOL)

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:25 am

Black chick, white chick now competing for the dude chosen. He asks the black chick to dive in the pool head first (i.e. get her hair wet) and she’s like no way. In stead, she’s will to drop her bikini top and does it.

The white chick is willing and dives in head first…getting her hair wet. Now she’s saying the black chick was classless for taking off her top on a first date (I’m agreeing). But by the same token, she’s ramming her tongue down his throat.

Anywho, let’s see who wins

Leggs

September 7th, 2012
9:26 am

“Is football (or any other extra curricular) enough to seek out a new school?” – If he’s really talented and with coaching can secure college scholarship, why not hone that skill. Just because he’s on a sorry team doesn’t mean scouts aren’t watching him.

Exiled!

September 7th, 2012
9:26 am

Is football or (any other extracurricular etc ) enough (reason) to seek out a new school?

In America,proly yes!

You are not a football mum,obviously Common.

Maybe u need to look around for a school that will provide both for ur son…good football program and good academics.
Good luck!

On topic:

No,u just need one or two dates to see if there is a connection. By the third date most dudes are impatient,they want to smash and claim you or cool it.

End

Hey Celisea!

I was bootleg blogging at the am hour yesterday…I locked the blog doors.

Bluz kept me laughing yesterday..her naivety is just funny! :lol:

A guy smashes when he’s drunk and she wants marriage,that’s crazy! :lol:

Enjoy your day folks…

I miss my blog lyfe! :lol:

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:27 am

Ut oh, black chick lost…he said she was a bit too much for him. She is NOT happy

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
9:27 am

Slim another way to get drinks that way is to try them frozen. When I was in Ja they were laughing at me because every drink I order I wanted frozen, even rum and coke. I have to say I was feeling good :-D

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
9:28 am

C, what are you working on from home (LOL)

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:29 am

Heeeeey there MMeello….I KNEW you was blogging. I could feel it. How are you? I knew you’d get a kick out of Bluzy’s posts. You did NOT say bootleg blogging and you locked the door….lol Yeah, you have an addiction. Don’t feel bad. We come back everyday

Leggs

September 7th, 2012
9:30 am

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Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:30 am

Single and Happy – I’m working on work…lol

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:31 am

I just happen to have the tv on :mrgreen:

MMeello – I’m working on my addiction. I’m weaning myself from blogging all day. Eventually, I’ll be moving on :)

Comon Cents~ It's Friday, Y'all!

September 7th, 2012
9:34 am

You are not a football mum,obviously Common

Ex, that’s just it; I am. Hence the reason we are even HAVING this discussion. :lol:

I know that public school is not the answer. Even though we are in a excellent school district, he needs the smaller class size and individualized attention to keep his grades up. I say the same thing that S/H says, but the hubs and the boy’s father say that he will need a coach that can actually hone the skill if his talent is going to continue to develop. Trying to make a decision early because if he is going to move schools, it will have to be decided by Jan or Feb at the latest. Kids are going to be the death of me!!!!

lolalee

September 7th, 2012
9:36 am

What’s with the chemistry thing? If you’re looking for “chemistry” that just means you looking to hook up. Which is fine, if that’s what you’re looking for. You’ll know on date #1.

If you looking for a long term relationship, don’t even think “chemistry” until you get to know the person a bit. You ought to be looking for character, ambition, attitudes, direction…. all that stuff that makes a relationship work.

Gotta get your priorities in the right order. Just sayin

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
9:40 am

Comon, you also have an opportunity to teach something that many of my generation learned early on, sometimes you have to take the good with the bad, and mommy and daddy aren’t going to be there to save you from everything. We played on teams that sucked, didn’t get picked for every sport we went out for. Did our on home work, because most of our parents couldn’t help us. My statement to most that are doing pretty good, when they say I want my child to have it better than I did, is your life that messed up now, because the things you went through as a child is what made you the adult you are today!

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:43 am

I don’t think “chemistry” is necessarily something you go “looking” for. I think chemistry is either there or not. Because chemisty is present doesn’t necessarily mean everything defaults to hooking up. I think that’s where scruples and decorum comes into play. If you’re seeking something longterm, permanent, deeper, then you don’t have to jump each other’s bones. You seek more, a deeper connection than the physical.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
9:46 am

Comon, will he have the same coaches in high school that he has now? And if he does change schools you have to remember the competition level goes up, and these are players that these coaches have already been honing their skills.

SlimUno

September 7th, 2012
9:47 am

I’m weaning myself from blogging all day. Eventually, I’ll be moving on

Cel – Sounds like you’re prepping us for a break-up. You will NOT leave us…you belong to blogsville and we WILL find you wherever you go :???: (j/k)

lolalee

September 7th, 2012
9:50 am

Celisea, true that, but the first question was how do you decide whether you want to get to know the person better. Then it jumped to chemistry. All I’m saying is forget the chemistry at first. I’m going for character. Chemistry will develop. If it doesn’t, then I’ve made a close friend. If it does, then I’ve got a solid relationship. Seems like most folks are focused on the hookup.

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:50 am

Slim – Awwww, that was sooo sweet :mrgreen: That’ll make me stay for real..lol I just need to pull back. When things (sometimes) get taken too seriously (yes, I’ve been guilty), then I was just thinking maybe it’s time to break away. It’s suppose to be light and informal yet with real thoughts and opinions and outlook from others.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
9:51 am

C, so how do you handle no blogging on the weekends, do you sit in the corner with the keyboard shivering? (LOL)

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:53 am

lolalee – I’m agreeing with your 9:50. Anybody can hookup. Like my mama would say, you can find that any lampost or lampshade. If the intent is not seeking solid, I for one am not interested.

lolalee

September 7th, 2012
9:54 am

Comon
You outta your mind. You seriously thinking of taking an ADHD kid who is in a solid academic environment and moving him to another school for football? So if he gets injured and can’t play again, then what? You’ve got an ADHD kid who doesn’t have a solid environment…that’s how a lot of kids fall into all sorts of trouble, Get real. Academics trumps sports EVERY time, ESPECIALLY for a child with learning issues. Good grief.

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:54 am

Single and Happy – Nope, I’m out of here before the sun is up good (some weekend mornings). I’m busy most of the weekend, so I don’t think about blogging. Unless it raining or something, rarely am I home :)

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
9:56 am

C Ahhhh so you have to keep yourself busy so you don’t think about it (LOL)

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:57 am

Single and Happy – Not exactly what I said…lol

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

September 7th, 2012
9:58 am

C that’s what I saw and I’m sticking to it (LOL)

Celisea

September 7th, 2012
9:59 am

Single and Happy – I’m okay with that…lol

Comon Cents~ It's Friday, Y'all!

September 7th, 2012
10:06 am

Comon, will he have the same coaches in high school that he has now?

No, but definitely the same caliber of coach. However, on the other side of that, we have invested in som very good football camps during spring break and summer for the past four years which is how his skills have continued to develop.

Comon Cents~ It's Friday, Y'all!

September 7th, 2012
10:09 am

lolalee~ I will not return him to public school, but there are definitely some private schools out there that have better football teams and an academic environment that is on the same level as he has now. The current school is very close to our house. If I switched him to another private school, it would take a little more finagling on the part of me and the hubs to get him to and from the extra curricular events.

Comon Cents~ It's Friday, Y'all!

September 7th, 2012
10:10 am

lolalee – I’m agreeing with your 9:50. Anybody can hookup. Like my mama would say, you can find that any lampost or lampshade. If the intent is not seeking solid, I for one am not interested.

Or as my momma used to tell me “Anyone can give you a wet behind!” :lol: