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Do things have the change?

If a new relationship is going really good, chances are, things lead to physical intimacy. This means that the dynamics of the relationship will change. Does it have to? Not necessarily, but when you bring sex in to the situation, things generally take a shift.

It seems there a lot of expectations, so I always think it is good to talk about what those are before you start to get physical. It may make it easier to handle the difference after things get intimate. It’s not just women who change either! A lot of men are known to switch their behavior after sex is introduced in a relationship.

Why do you think sex changes a relationship dynamic so much?

How does it make a difference when it comes to how two people relate?

Do things have to change after sex?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

209 comments Add your comment

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
11:40 am

Jake ~ I laughed knowing you wouldn’t be orating, but cut and pasting those words on a blank card and giving to your lady while nekkid in bed (lolol).

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
11:40 am

The only thing constant is change. Let change happen, just stay the man you sold yourself to be…lololol

Jake – No balcony scene?

kimmie-luvin my gangster Dawgs!!

September 4th, 2012
11:40 am

Morning Gang!

Weekend was absolutely fabulous!!! Went on THREE dates with hubs while the kids were away! Plus managed to make some nice jewelry and had some absolutely drinks & bbq. Could not have been better!!

On topic – Sure things have to change – for better or worse. Don’t know what else to say on it!!

CC – Girl, who cares about tired behind GT!!! So what if UGA let Buf score 23 points, as long as they almost DOUBLED it themselves!LOL!! If their gangster behavior over the summer isn’t a bad omen, bump one high scoring game!!LOL!! :cool:

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
11:41 am

WillieD – My 11:40 was for your post…roll with it…lol

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
11:42 am

Change? Rrom inhibited to uninhibited. From nervous to ravishing each other. From broaching carefully to knocking the doors down :mrgreen:
CHANGE IS GOOD….from that aspect…lol

I’m just funning

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
11:49 am

So how do you all handle it when the honeymoon phase dies down and you aren’t humping like jack rabbits anymore?

Willie Dynamite

September 4th, 2012
11:54 am

Cel – umm Thanks I think. Hahaha

kimmie-luvin my gangster Dawgs!!

September 4th, 2012
11:57 am

Slim – If you have something solid with a person, you are able to handle it just fine. I know personally it’s a case of quality versus quantity. If all you guys have going for you is the sex, the relationship won’t survive. If your connection is deeper, then you have what I define as true intimacy.

It’s almost like those times when neither of you is saying anything, but the silence is not uncomfortable. If you gotta be effing each other for there to be a connection, that will get old. Yall didn’t have no “honeymoon”, cause there was no “marriage”, yall just effed.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 4th, 2012
12:00 pm

time is moving right along…………hmmmmmm

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
12:00 pm

SlimUno ~ when the honeymoon phases out, you should have more appreciation and respect for each other. You should have your friend with whom you can talk anything over with. The honeymoon may be over, but as long as the desire and respect is still there, you’re WINNING….

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
12:02 pm

Reading’s Slim’s 11:49

I saw a couple Friday night that grew up with my mom and pops. They would come to the house and my mom and dad would visit with them over the years. They have about as many kids as my mom and dad and pretty much their lives always seemed parallel to my parents. Well, I was watching them as they were ALWAYS real mushy and lovey dovey most times when they were the “handsome couple.” I know it’s probably nearly 60 years now and they’re still like that. I was looking at them wondering if they still appear to be as beautiful to one another as they always seemed back years ago. Back then it was more “lustful”, if you will. She was a nice looking woman, always (and still somewhat), a shapely woman and presteen. I mean I know the answer but I couldn’t help but wonder what they’d say if anyone asked how they felt about one another. He wasn’t a philanderer that I know of but was always “showoffie” and she was always docile and meek. Just wondering.

Willie – LOLOLOL

kimmie-luvin my gangster Dawgs!!

September 4th, 2012
12:05 pm

Celisea – That’s a beautiful story. I love to hear about people like that. They are so blessed to have each other and still be that much into each other after all those years.

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
12:07 pm

Back in the day (I ain’t gonna lie), I use to wonder if he was hitting it as soon as they hit the door. He was always all over her. She never resisted his come-ons. There was a hint of embarrassment there when he would be doing everything shy of openly fondling her but she seemed like she wouldn’t (dare) resist him in front of everybody but would quietly shoo him off….if it got to be too much. It was nothing “bad” per se but sometimes she seemed uncomfortable with his level of open affection. Bet he was yanking her clothes off going in the door.

Okay I didn’t have to say this part…IJS though

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
12:08 pm

Kimmie – I was watching them Friday and they seem to still have “that thing” going on with them. They still look like a handsome couple.

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
12:11 pm

My dad and mom would get playful but never in front of company. It was nothing for him to smack her butt or lean up against her while she was cooking or doing housework. I’m laughing as I type this cause I was be grossed out by it then…lolol I understand it all now. She was just say “go on man” and push him away. Only embarrassed though, cause he did it in front of us.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 4th, 2012
12:11 pm

So you have been with your significant other for (insert time frame). Everything seems to be going well for the most part. You have your good times and naturally you have your rough moments. All in all you are ok with where the relationship currently stands and hope for the relationship to progress and be all you have hoped for it to be.

Then one day you find out that your partner has cheated on you. Maybe there were clues that led up to the official finding. Maybe you had a hunch but just wasn’t sure. Or maybe you never even saw it coming. Either way the fact remains that they have been unfaithful and you are devastated. The person you trusted to honor you in this relationship has betrayed you. They let you down, embarrassed you, and hurt you to your core. How can you recover from such a blow? Can you really get back into a relationship with them and expect that it can be a good and healthy relationship? Is forgiving them possible when they have done something as bad as cheating?

YES!…That is correct…yes all of these things are possible, but you have to understand what you are dealing with. First let’s start with forgiving them. You give forgiveness because it is best for you. Holding on to the pain of what has occurred does nothing but create more pain and disappointment moving forward. It eats away at you and whether you realize it or not, it hinders you in your life on a regular basis. Not to mention the fact that we all make poor decisions. This isn’t to minimize the seriousness of cheating, but the reality is that we have all done something to hurt others or may not have been in the best interest of another person. Forgiveness is freedom and many people are living in shackles wondering why things don’t get better in their life. When people hold on to negative energy they tend to operate in a negative manner. This will then create negative results. The power is in your hands to forgive and let it go. The quicker you do that, the quicker you can move in a better direction with or without that person.

So just because you forgive a person does not mean you need to still be with that person. The reality is that if cheating has occurred then there is an issue in the relationship or with that person. Either way there is an issue that needs to be addressed. Forgiveness is just the first step. Many people get cheated on, then the cheater says I’m sorry, begs to be taken back, and then the person who was cheated on eventually takes them back and tries to “move past it”. Well YOU CAN’T! Not if you aren’t going to sit down and truly discuss why the cheating happened, what may be wrong in the relationship, and how these things will be avoided moving forward. You see what you may realize in that necessary discussion is the things that fed into that person cheating may not be something you can fix or are prepared to fix. If not, taking them back is pointless. Again, should you forgive them? Absolutely, but do not overlook the fact that some situations can be fixed with proper communication while others need to be recognized as a relationship that needs to end. Maybe they aren’t truly ready or serious about the relationship. Maybe there is something that they need from you that has not been provided. Maybe they are still in love with an ex, ran into them, and obviously you know what happened next. No matter what it is, you have to try to talk about it in a calm and receptive manner. Attacking them out of anger (that is why forgiveness is the first step) will only create a situation where an honest and open discussion will be difficult to have. So truly address the issue, then based on that conversation determine if being together is possible and something that can be worked out.

Nobody likes the idea of being cheated on. It sucks and having to face that situation will always be difficult. Do not allow the pain of cheating to cloud your judgment. Always take a step back, remember to forgive, and then properly address/discuss the situation. Proper communication is always a good thing so embrace it even in moments like this. How others view you and your situation should not matter. This is between you and your partner, but do not be foolish to think that blowing up on them and walking away is going to solve anything. Neither will acting like you’re “over it” or trying to ineffectively “move past it”. Take a more positive open-minded approach, and you will get the results that are best for you…even if they aren’t what you had once hoped for them to be.

Jake...SPJTWB

September 4th, 2012
12:14 pm

C…That is his wife, he had a right to it, of course she wouldn’t dare resist her husband and not handle her wifely duties.

That ain’t me talking,thats the generational perspective…lol

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
12:15 pm

It’s almost like those times when neither of you is saying anything, but the silence is not uncomfortable

SHAZAM! It’s like those cars rides together where each of you are in your own thoughts but it’s not because you’re getting on the other ones nerves

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 4th, 2012
12:15 pm

was reading this and decided to share….y’all know my randomness!!!

cute older couples that sustain are the best C~

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
12:16 pm

Catch up in a few…LUNCH!

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
12:18 pm

Jake – I ALWAYS felt like (of course being a bit older and understanding), that was the reason she never resisted his open affection. She seemed okay as long as it was mild but when he wanted to ahem a little bit more fresh, she’d quietly shoo him off. Never anything along the lines of “rejecting” him but sort of like a “not here, not now” brush off. Her doing that never on the surface, disrupted their flow. He’d back off but not long. But, knowing him, he’d be back at it in a few minutes….lol THAT’S why I would think, boy bet he’s getting that before she can disrobe good…lolololol

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
12:21 pm

Lady – Yes, those old couples sustaining the test of time. My mom and dad were affectionate. My mom would just shoo him off if we were watching but nuh uh, she ain’t fooling me….lol

Comon Cents

September 4th, 2012
12:29 pm

C/Lady~ My parents have been married for 45 years and it was very much the same growing up in my house. My father used to come into the kitchen while my mom was cooking and ask if he could “check her knees later”. My brother and I were much older before we realized that was a euphemism for getting some. :lol: Even now, we call before we show up at their house because ain’t no telling what’s going on now that it’s just the two of them… :oops: Don’t want to have THAT moment.

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
12:32 pm

*********** PSA ************

Department: Information Technology

Title: Supervisor, Enterprise Systems

Description: Responsible for enterprise wide systems implementations, management, and support for the Georgia System Operations Corporation’s shared services division under general supervision of the Director of Enterprise Systems.

If interested, contact me and I’ll forward you the rest of the job description.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 4th, 2012
12:32 pm

chuckle~ gotta love romance~

Comon Cents

September 4th, 2012
12:32 pm

kimmie~ You going to have to back up off my Yellow Jackets! :lol: If UGA plays this whole season the way they played on Sunday, it’s going to be a long season for the Dawgs. IJS. And the GT vs VT game was the best game on this weekend. With Clemson vs. Auburn running a close second.

Jake...SPJTWB

September 4th, 2012
12:33 pm

Comon…yo Daady nasty, that prolly meant he was gonna wear them “thighmuffs”….lol

Comon Cents

September 4th, 2012
12:33 pm

Did y’all hear about the kid that fell to his death at The Tennessee game on Friday night at the Dome?

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
12:41 pm

Cel – Your story about the obsessive PDA couple made me think of a cousin of mine. She said she is contemplating divorce because her hubby feels like, since she’s a stay at home mom, that she should be Open like QT…all day everyday whenever he has the urge. She says he actually gets mad and throws tantrums if she isn’t in the mood or doesn’t give it to him like he wants. She even had to call the cops on him one morning at like 3am. I was like WHAT?!! Now that explains how she ended up with two sons both born in the same year but they aren’t twins. (Jan/Dec)

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
12:53 pm

Now that explains how she ended up with two sons both born in the same year but they aren’t twins. (Jan/Dec)

:lol: :lol: :lol: I think you already knew how that happend w/o knowing all that you now know.

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
12:55 pm

Slim – I can empathize with your cousin. No lie, the kid’s dad was like that. Grant it he was in his prime but it was ALLLLLL the time. Anytime, any place, anywhere, any how…lol It’s okay to want it and be like that about one another but there’s a fine line in there of too much is too much.

With my kid’s dad, I was sooo drained from doing it EVERYDAY, sometimes more than once….lol If I ran a bath, he would beat me getting in the tub. If I wanted to take a quick shower, again he’d beat me in. Standing there ready and waiting on me….gheesh And not for the sake of bathing together, just wanting to “do it.” Like an insatiable appetite. I mean I like it and I like it often but not like that! Just everytime you turn around. I remember being pregnant and he would wake me up…lol Most times I’d go back to sleep but tell him don’t break nothing and don’t induce my labor. I remember my doctor gave me a book and it showed positions, talk about reading the book? That was him. Nothing to be awakened from him going down…sorry TMI but he was ALWAYS on ready..IJS I was so happy to take a couple of years of abstaining after getting out of that.

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
12:59 pm

I don’t even have any recommendations for your cousin…..lol Buddy won’t be slowing probably for years to come.

Jake...SPJTWB

September 4th, 2012
12:59 pm

So Slim…would she prefer he got it elsewhere…..I feel bad for him, he just desires his WIFE constantly….This proves that there is no winning for Men…lol

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
12:59 pm

Seven years of that. From the start to the end.

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
1:01 pm

It’s not that you don’t want or like the attention, sometimes your body needs a break. Just a couple of days to go and go without. That makes it much sweeter for me but just banging all the time? Whew. Sometimes it would be romantic but sometimes, somebody just wanted to hit….lol IJS

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 4th, 2012
1:05 pm

i'm swiss

September 4th, 2012
1:09 pm

“I feel bad for him, he just desires his WIFE constantly….This proves that there is no winning for Men”

AMEN, brother Jake! He’s a dog if he looks elsewhere, and he’s a nuisance if he only wants it from his wife. Some of you ladies just need to suck it up. Literally, you need to suck it up. More often. :lol:

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
1:10 pm

Jake – But what’s up with the temper tantrums if she just doesn’t want to do it? Also, when he gets mad he calls her names and stuff. That is not creating an environment to make her want to do it with him. :roll:

DreamsMaterialize

September 4th, 2012
1:10 pm

Morning (barely) everyone.

Things always change after sex. How things change depends on the people involved. If it’s not the change you want, then get out fast.

So, how was everyone’s weekend?

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
1:16 pm

Lady – Girl, sometimes it’s just hard trying to explain to a partner why you need a break. It’s not about rejecting them or anything along the lines but sometimes, just sometimes…..

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
1:18 pm

“those” lines

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
1:24 pm

Slim – Name calling and stuff is out…that’s a no go, a sign of immaturity and just plain bad. That will get a brother “x’d”, never to return…lol Seriously, being married, they should be able to talk it out without resorting to getting angry and name calling.

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
1:34 pm

Cel – Plus just because you’re married and one may work while the other stays at home, does not mean their duties are any less stressful than the others. Regardless of what role you play, there should be a level of respect, understanding, compromise or whatever between you two. One being the breadwinner doens’t mean you gotta fugg me when I say, how I say and however often I want it.

Into the Light

September 4th, 2012
1:37 pm

Stupid server error! :evil:

Afternoon, all!

Hope you all had a good weekend.

It sure was good to be in Athens on Saturday, even if it was as hot as the 5th level of he!!.

Um, CC, thought you were a Dawg fan/season ticket holder???

@Bluz: I got two words for you – HO BO. :lol: :lol:

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
1:41 pm

Slim – Exactly. Everything is about respecting one another. Whether it’s me or him, I don’t have a right to and neither does he. Name calling over sex or the lack thereof seems like borderline abuse. Name calling cause we’re having it out, well…. Not saying that’s any better but because I’m not feeling getting humped every 3 hours? Even to my body belonging to my husband and vice versa there’s a time to take a break (that’s scripture) and coming back together lest we be tempted.

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
1:51 pm

Celisea ~ a good friend of mine hubby is like that. One day she told me he was always ready. She was getting a little tired and told him “my puddy smells like dick all the time, can you give me some time to air out.” I fell out laughing….

SexyCool

September 4th, 2012
1:59 pm

Five days…

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
1:59 pm

:shock: :lol: :lol: HAHAHAHAHAHA cracking up!!

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
2:00 pm

Leggs – I LOL’d on your post because I can relate. Not to the smell but the feeling of just give my cooter a couple of days off…lol Sometimes I just want to soak and cleanse myself. lol I understand what the men are saying but just getting poked relentlessly gets tiring after awhile. I will say though, buddy was up to the challenge all the time. Not just “sticking” but talking, freaky deaky, gadgets, porno…the whole nine…lol IJS He was always asked if I said no or slow to respond “what you don’t want to be a freak for your man, you don’t want to come get it??” I’m laughing now but it was not funny back then. I remember once visiting his granny with him and she would do a daily stroll, recommended by the doctor of TO THE CORNER AND BACK. Wouldn’t you know, he locked the door and wanted to get it in those couple of minutes she walked to the corner? I was like, ummm NOT! Needless to say I got the “don’t you want your man” lecture again…lol

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
2:01 pm

asking not asked