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Do things have the change?

If a new relationship is going really good, chances are, things lead to physical intimacy. This means that the dynamics of the relationship will change. Does it have to? Not necessarily, but when you bring sex in to the situation, things generally take a shift.

It seems there a lot of expectations, so I always think it is good to talk about what those are before you start to get physical. It may make it easier to handle the difference after things get intimate. It’s not just women who change either! A lot of men are known to switch their behavior after sex is introduced in a relationship.

Why do you think sex changes a relationship dynamic so much?

How does it make a difference when it comes to how two people relate?

Do things have to change after sex?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

209 comments Add your comment

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
8:54 am

Guuuuuuuuuud mertnin!

Don’t let the enthusiasm fool ya because I’m really just sleep walking at the moment.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 4th, 2012
9:04 am

Morning!!! Interesting topic somewhat~ something about accountability I would think……Informed consent is key also being on the same pages……and so on…..#digressing a bit~ ;)

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
9:23 am

Do things have to change? Um…I don’t guess they do especially if things are discussed prior to doing the do but, for the most part, it does in some shape or form. The weirdness right after is the mental mind game of wondering what the other person is now thinking. Sex tends to be the big wrapped box in the center of the room. You get to know each other all while trying to stay within some bounds of not being too anxious to open the box, and trying not to act like you aren’t interested in the box. You know how kids are on Christmas, excited about what’s inside. You have an idea of the things you told Santa you want but you are never really sure what it is or how it’ll be until you’re able to rip that thang open. Sometimes you’re left feeling a little deflated that Santa really didn’t listen to you at all…but other times you’re blown away by the prize inside. :D

Excuse the Santa reference, as I’m not sure what made my mind go there…still early

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
9:24 am

Slow going this morning.

Nothing really on topic yet. Gotta wait for coffee to kick in!!!

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
9:34 am

Bluz – Wzup Chica! How did your weekend go? How are you and Mr. Slangin Wangin’?

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
9:41 am

My weekend was WONDERFUL!!! Total relaxation and a nice tan! It’s a shame that as soon as I crossed the GA state line yesterday, the tension and anxiety came rushing back! Oh well…it was good while it lasted!

Nothing going with me and Mags…I did drunk text him Sunday night (yes…fell off the wagon while on vacay). He texted last night, but only said he was back from the mountains. We’ll see…

Now that I’m back in town…I’m at least going the month of Sept without any drinking!!!

How was your weekend?

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
9:51 am

Why do you think sex changes a relationship dynamic so much? – Probably because the anticipation leading up to the act itself can be filled with images of pomp and circumstance only to turn out to be a loud FIZZZ! Now, how does one get out of the relationship because all that anticipation and want was for not?

Seriously, sex changes because some women think that’s the ultimate gift she can give a man and her feelings are all in. Some men however, can simply keep it moving without batting an eye.

How does it make a difference when it comes to how two people relate? – It shouldn’t make a difference if there’s real communication.

Do things have to change after sex? – Yes ma’am. If it’s bad sex, rather unfulfilled sex things will change. If it’s mind blowing sex, things will change for the better.

Single and Happy (did you miss me)

September 4th, 2012
10:11 am

Morning all, Yes things are supposed to change after sex, at least the sheets should be changed (LOL)

Single and Happy (did you miss me)

September 4th, 2012
10:12 am

Bluz, don’t say the month, how about starting with a week and work you way from there.

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
10:13 am

Funny how on vacation, I can get up at 9:00 and be wide awake, but back to work and I can’t get going!!!

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
10:14 am

S/H – If I say a month, then I know I’ll stick with it…

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
10:14 am

I did drunk text him Sunday night (yes…fell off the wagon while on vacay). – Bluz, glad you had a great time, but remember you hadn’t secured a seat on the wagon yet to fall off from.

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
10:15 am

I had a low key weekend…hit up a bbq with the beau on Sunday, then we grilled out on Monday. Oh yeah, we met up with the real estate agent Saturday and checked out a few cribs…all in all, pretty laid back.

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
10:20 am

Morning….I had a lovely weekend/holiday :mrgreen:

While it’s a bit antiquated and outdated, for me, it is about giving “myself” completely to another and opening up to becoming vunerable. Because I value myself, it’s about believing in you and you (being the man) giving off vibes that you are one hundred and handling my “openess” once we’ve sealed the deal. I can like you a lot and admire the vision of what you phyisically look like, but if there’s even a hint of doubt that you’re not one hundred, it’s not happening. It’s not happening because of the shift in dynamics that’s going to happen. Yes, the dynamics ALWAYS shift. The only time I can see it not happening is with FWBs or FB situationships.

BTW, being one hundred is a character thing. It won’t take a lifetime to see that. You can be one hundred day 120 (lol) or day 90 or day 60. If you’re real and keeping it real, it won’t take long to see that. If I have to wait too long, looking for the man of character to surface, it ain’t happening….lololol

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
10:22 am

Leggs…true…I knew that I would drink in Charleston…BUT…now that I’m back home, it’s time to ride that wagon for sure! I hate that I drunk texted, but oh well…I didn’t say anything that I would be embarrassed about…

Single and Happy (did you miss me)

September 4th, 2012
10:22 am

Okay Bluz, hope you make it.

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
10:25 am

Bluz – What kinds of things do you say when you drunk text? I love you?

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
10:27 am

Brandi Carlile – “The Story” Why am I LOVING this song?? I heard it on a movie we watched this weekend. Didn’t realize it had been played on Grey’s Anatomy

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
10:30 am

I had a great weekend. Lil leggs came home for the weekend and spent most of her time w/me except for Sunday. I have a PSA I would like to promote.

I purchased her an 8″ ice cream cake that I had no intention of eating after she left. She didn’t even eat any. Went to Kroger and purchased one of those hot/cold bags that says it will keep an item frozen up to 3 hrs. w/o any need for ice. Wasn’t sure, but when we drove her back to her dorm, that dang cake was still frozen and it took us 3.5 hrs to get there!

Celisea ~ your first paragraph isn’t antiquated. It’s exactly how I feel too. Wanted to say all that in another post, but you laid it out fair and square.

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
10:31 am

The first one was “Miss me yet? ;-) I’m listening to some great blues on the dock of the bay in Charleston.” I was just tipsy then. After being fully drunk, I texted again “I can’t help it, I like you Mr. _____”

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
10:32 am

The Story

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true…I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do,I was made for you

You see the smile that’s on my mouth
It’s hiding the words that don’t come out
And all of my friends who think that I’m blessed
They don’t know my head is a mess
No, they don’t know who I really am
And they don’t know what
I’ve been through like you do
And I was made for you…

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true…I was made for you

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true…I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do, I was made for you

You see the smile that’s on my mouth
It’s hiding the words that don’t come out
And all of my friends who think that I’m blessed
They don’t know my head is a mess
No, they don’t know who I really am
And they don’t know what
I’ve been through like you do
And I was made for you…

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true…I was made for you

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
10:33 am

Jake...SPJTWB

September 4th, 2012
10:40 am

what up folks….had a great weekend…Rest, relaxation, and a lot of spirits flowing.

Bluz…don’t start claiming no drinks for a month, just say you are going to watch your intake, saying you won’t do anything is a bit much Sweets.

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 4th, 2012
10:42 am

waving @ C Jake~

I had a great weekend and vote for 4 day work weeks too! looking forward to another great weekend of good people and fellowship~

Bluz glad you enjoyed Charleston and good deal with your small personal goal~

Comon Cents

September 4th, 2012
10:43 am

Good Morning, bloggies!

On Topic~ Sex always changes things. For better or for worse? (shrugs) It depends on the situation.

Off Topic~ Weekend was FABULOUS! Even though it consisted mostly of hanging around watching football and doing nothing. :) ung out with the fam, took in a Braves game Friday night and went swimming with the kiddos. Great weekend for football though. Did anyone watch the GT vs VT game last night? It was a barn burner!

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 4th, 2012
10:43 am

meant C & Jake~

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
10:45 am

Lady – Hey there :) What’s crackalackin! You DID NOT say vote for 4 day work weeks…lololol Okaaaay!

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
10:45 am

Jake…I’ve done this before…I have to tell myself no drinks at all for a month. After that, I will watch my intake. I need a break from it…

Lady~sharpness is > than smartness

September 4th, 2012
10:47 am

yep I will work 12 hours to be off on a friday or monday prefer being off on Mondays though……..lol

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
10:48 am

Lady – thanks! Seems like when I make this personal goal, I always have people that try to get me to break it. Ain’t gonna happen this time. :-)

CC – who won last night. I tried to watch it, but I was exhausted from the drive home and went to bed early…I hated missing the GA game on Sat, but I didn’t mind so much when I was relaxing on the beach!

Jake...SPJTWB

September 4th, 2012
10:51 am

Hey Lady

Bluz…thats cool, not trying to deter you…I’ll take your share in the meantime. Its Fall, and soon it will time for, “the coat your wear on the inside” Whiskey

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
10:54 am

Absolutely love “The Story.”

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
10:55 am

Jake – You can have my share!!! :-)

Comon Cents

September 4th, 2012
10:59 am

Bluz~ VT won but it was an AWESOME game. Tied until the end of the 3rd at 7-7. GT kicked a field goal (10-7) VT scored a TD to make it 14-10 and left just over 9 mins on the clock. GT drives down the field and scores a TD (17-14) leaving 44 secs on the clock. VT throws a hail mary to get into field goal range and scores with 6 secs left to tie it up at 17-17. In OT, GT turned the ball over by interception on the third down and VT went down and kicked a FG to end the game. Wish it had ended differently (with GT winning) but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Still was an awesome game!

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
10:59 am

Leggs – It’s a good thing the cake didn’t go to waste then. I’m not sure I would’ve trusted that bag to keep it solid, let alone Frozen. Glad you and lil leggs got some good mommy time in over the weekend. ;-)

Comon Cents

September 4th, 2012
11:00 am

GA should not have allowed Buffalo 23 points. That is a bad omen for the season…

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
11:00 am

CC – thanks for the run down! :-) Sounds like it was a great one!

Single and Happier "No one is in charge of your happiness except you!"

September 4th, 2012
11:02 am

Cmon, it will be alright :-D

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
11:05 am

I agree CC, but at least we won!!!

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
11:05 am

Did anyone make it to the free Keith Sweat concert in Union Station?

i'm swiss

September 4th, 2012
11:06 am

“free Keith Sweat concert”

I didn’t realize Keith was locked up?

Jake...SPJTWB

September 4th, 2012
11:06 am

C… Very nice poem, I will have to save and file in my, “will go nice with flowers” folder….One day when she salty and I need to let her feel this BillyDee again, I’ll pull it out of nowhere…lol.

Leggs

September 4th, 2012
11:09 am

Exactly, SlimUno. The fact that the cake was rock solid hard helped. I’m not putting it all on the bag, but it definitely helped. We went and saw Odd Life of Timothy Green. The movie wasn’t an emotional journey like I thought it would be. It was decent.

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
11:11 am

Jake – Happy to share. Actually it’s a song I heard and youtubed it. I absolutely love the words (and how the song is sung). Those words are from (us) women that love hard…lol That should make her shake off the “salty” every time…lololol

SlimUno

September 4th, 2012
11:14 am

swiss – Yeah, they were raising canned goods to get him out smartass mofo :D

Jake...SPJTWB

September 4th, 2012
11:17 am

C….they might be from a woman, but when I put this smooth on top of it, I take ownership…

Celisea

September 4th, 2012
11:19 am

Jake – I say “own it”…lol Flowers and those words flowing from you, shooooot……

Bluzgirl

September 4th, 2012
11:38 am

I guess a lot of bloggers either took today off or are playing catch up after a long weekend!

Willie Dynamite

September 4th, 2012
11:38 am

Morning All,

Great weekend, my cup runneth over.

Topic – change is inevitable. Roll with it.

Jake...SPJTWB

September 4th, 2012
11:38 am

I didn’t say nothing about orating….lol