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Archive for September, 2012

Dating: I can dress myself!

My beau has this thing about giving me fashion/style suggestions. The first time he did this, we were getting ready to go to one of his co-workers parties. I got the sense that he wanted to make sure I was “on point” and represented him well.

I am not going to lie, this did not go over well with me. I’ve been dressing myself for years and no man has ever given his opinion about what I wore, how I wore, or why. Yet, here I was having an actual discussion about my dress and shoe selection with the guy I am dating. How did I get here!? I mean, the fact that we are dating shows he already liked my style, doesn’t it? I was actually offended.

After I had a talk with beau and determined he wasn’t trying to be a controlling jerk, we got to a mutual understanding: I won’t throw my fabulous shoe at his head for making fashion suggestions. He won’t try to treat me like some trophy girl that he dresses to his personal liking. It’s all about compromise, people!

My friend was …

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The height requirement

Everyone has those little dating preferences when it comes to looks and appearances. We think that what we are attracted to is a personal choice but I often wonder how much is influenced by other things?

Obviously, the idea of beauty and what constitutes attractiveness gets fed to us in many ways. I don’t know if we are always cognizant of how often this happens. This is especially true when it comes to having a height requirement.

Do you think that something like height can really make a difference in being happy with someone? I know of many women who actually believe that they could not make things work with a man who is as tall or shorter than them. It seems, I don’t know, naive?

Of course we all have those physical features we know we don’t want, but do you think that kind of thing matters ultimately?

Height, weight, hair, teeth, are seemingly small things but some of us base dating decisions on them. Is this a maturity thing? Do we ever outgrow the shallow things …

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Isn’t dating a contact sport?

One of my friends recently had a first date with a guy she met at church. She was looking forward to the date because she had been scoping the guy out for weeks. Things were going really great until Church Boy went from Christian Gentleman to Christian Grey in a span of about two hours.

She cringed when he made some inappropriate remarks about her breasts but things took a turn for the worse when he started pawing her like a piece of meat. She was immediately turned off and she wonders why he felt compelled to be so “hands on” with her in the first place.

I joked with her that dating is a contact sport! Of course you want to get close to your date. However, it is also important to read the body language and follow the cues that your date is giving! If he could clearly tell by her facial expressions and attitude shift that she was not cool with his behavior. So why didn’t he get the hint?

When do you usually feel okay getting physically closer and affectionate with …

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Dating: Ready to meet the kids?

One of our readers has been seeing a woman for about 8 months and things are getting serious. The woman he is seeing has decided that she feels comfortable enough to introduce him to her children. He has none and is actually “not that great” with kids.

He wants help in figuring out if he is ready to meet the kids. How do you know when it is time to introduce your kids to your date? Should there be a serious and exclusive relationship before you bring your kids around the person you are dating?

What should you do if you aren’t “kid friendly” but you really want things to go well?

Do you think dating a single parent is harder when you don’t have kids too?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Is living together a good idea?

Yet another of my male friends decided to take the big plunge: asking their girlfriend to move in. I guess this is their way of determining if they can handle a full time, 24/7 relationship? I have yet to see any of my male friends make their live-in girlfriend a wife, but I don’t know if that is even a goal.

I have never lived with a boyfriend. I can barely handle sharing space for a weekend trip! I am sure adjusting to living with a girlfriend/boyfriend is vastly different when you are married. Maybe living together is a good idea for people who are unsure about the idea of marriage and cohabitation?

What happens in a “shacking up” relationship that can’t/won’t happen in a marriage? Why is the idea of living with someone so much easier than marrying them?

Have you ever lived with someone you dated? Do you have any advice for a coupe considering the idea?

Ladies, if you were in a serious relationship, would you be disappointed or elated about being asked to move in?

Happy …

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Size matters.. and it doesn’t?

Fill a room with single women and ask them the most debatable question about men: Does size matter? You probably could divide the room down the middle on each side of the issue. A man’s size matters. It doesn’t matter. It depends.

I often wonder if men worry about their size as much as women worry about their weight. Are they self-conscious? Do they feel anxiety before they are intimate with their partner?

I know one thing, it is something some men definitely don’t want to talk about! I can recall having an awkward conversation with my ex-boyfriend Curry. He admitted that he was self-conscious about his size. We had been together for a long time before he ever admitted this to me.

Of course, women know to treat this with sensitivity (no pun intended, really!) but what should we do to reassure men that it doesn’t matter?
What happens if it does matter, though?

Has the size question ever come up in conversation with someone you dated/are dating? Is it something that …

Continue reading Size matters.. and it doesn’t? »

Put the man in Romance!

I have a friend who has admitted that she is romantically challenged. She has NO idea how to be romantic with her guy. The relationship is new so he has spent most of the time and effort in romancing her. Now she is eager to reciprocate – and if not the same degree of romance, something very close.

So far he has surprised her with tickets to a play, made a picnic for them inside his living room when the weather didn’t cooperate. He even took her car to be cleaned! The man is a keeper, ya’ll! He needs to be pampered and doted on just as much. So what do men consider romantic gestures? (You know the sexy things they enjoy doing before we get naked??)

What are the best ways to romance a man who has been so romantic in his own efforts? Should women feel pressure or obligation to match the same level of romance?

What is the most romantic gesture a woman has ever shown you, guys?

Ladies, do you consider yourselves to be romantic or romantically challenged? Be honest! What is …

Continue reading Put the man in Romance! »

Dating outside your age range?

Ok listen, I just saw a picture of Denzel Washington on the cover of GQ magazine. I have no words. The man is just…well, he is 57! I am going to be perfectly honest and say that I have not been looking at men in that age range – but should I start? First, I should ask: Do men in their late 50s look like Denzel?!

Taking the totally superficial part out of the equation, how does dating outside your age range really work? I am talking about the generational gaps that can lead to awkward conversations, family disapproval, misunderstandings, mismatched libidos…I could go on!

Relationships can be challenging enough to get started. How do you start one with someone who is not in your “normal dating range”?

Have you ever dated someone 10-15 years or more older/younger than you? What advice would you give to a couple with a significant age gap? How do you think it differs from dating someone the same age as you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

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Do men feel pressure to marry?

I don’t know what its like to be single and male, but I can tell you being single and female definitely comes with pressure. The older you get *cough* the more people look at you and start to comment on why you aren’t married, how to fix it, and telling you that you have something left to do in life.

I have never heard of any of my guy friends talk of the same kinds of pressure to be someone’s husband, though. Some of them comment about feeling the need or pressure to have kids, but not necessarily with a wife. Do men feel pressure from family, friends, or even society to get married?

Do you think that there are actual marriages that are a result of “pressure” from everyone else to be married? How do you think that impacts the health of the marriage?

Would you consider dating and marrying someone simply because you feel you should be dating and marrying?

Happy Monday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Do men feel pressure to marry? »

Dating: Step your game up

When you find yourself stuck in a dating rut, you probably don’t even realize that you have started to let things slip. Your efforts become less then enthusiastic. You start going through the motions. This is the best time to take a break from dating and focus on something else.

The dating scene in Atlanta is all about image and personality. You want to be able to stand out and make a connection with someone you find attractive. If you are not into it, it definitely comes across as aloof, uninterested, or obnoxious. Sometimes we have to step our game up and become a little more sharp!

Do you ever feel as if you are in a dating rut? What are ways to break out of it?

What are some ways to step your dating game up in flirting, mingling, or approaching someone you are interested in?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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