City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Archive for August, 2012

Dating: The L word dilemma

What would you do if the person you just started dating blurted out “I love you” way too soon? It happens a lot! People get caught up in the moment and express what they think they are feeling.

This kind of situation can either scare someone off because they don’t feel the same way or it can force a conversation about “where things stand” with you.

I think some people have been the first to say I love you in relationships that they are gun shy with sharing those words. Should you wait to say it when you mean it? Do you say it when you think you are falling?

Why are guys freaked out when a woman they are saying tells them she loves them. After doing all kinds of things with the woman, hearing her say I love you somehow seems outrageous, but why?

When do you think it is appropriate to tell someone you are falling in love, are in love, or love them? When is the wrong time to say it?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Why Are You Single?

Hello lovelies! Since I am pretty much having a horrendous week in the office, I have asked my Wonder Twin (seriously we are, we share the same birthday and we are both dating bloggers!) to guest blog today. Brittany Manson aka Miss Alone in Atlanta wants to discuss that oh so lovely question we ALL have been asked WAY too many times, “Why are you single?” (*insert eyeroll*)

Every now and then (more now than then) when I meet a guy, I’m posed with the question “Why are you single”? I like many women across America CRINGE at this question! What are you supposed to say that won’t make you sound crazy, picky, desperate, lonely, needy, vulnerable, sneezy, dopey, bashful, grumpy….ok well maybe not those last few.

Most of the time when I get this question, the way it’s posed almost sounds like you have a disease, like the underlying tone of the question is saying something’s wrong with you because you’re….dare I say it…..SINGLE! A lot of times women will …

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Anger issues a deal breaker?

I just read about NFL player Chad Johnson’s domestic violence arrest over the weekend. He has been released from the Dolphins and his wife of 41 one days is filing for divorce. Needless to say, he is having a very bad week.

Johnson apparently has a history of physically fighting with his significant other. I wonder if single people bother asking specifically about their date’s history with physical violence?

I know it’s not the sexiest topic, but it could be quite informative to ask a general question about arrests and domestic violence. Shouldn’t a history of violence and anger be a red flag of something to come?

Would you want to get involved with someone if you knew they had problems controlling their temper?

We all go through human emotions, but real anger issues in a relationship is a recipe for disaster. Why do so many of us overlook it when we see that kind of behavior?

When you consider bad dating behavior, is it likely the same thing would happen in a …

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Dating: The returning ex

There always seems to be one constant in our dating lives: the ex that won’t stay gone. It’s almost as if they have some kind of silent alarm that rings the moment we are completely over them. They show up and say the right things and suddenly we make a bad decision in a weak moment.

What is it about the one that resurfaces and makes us forget the reason we broke up with them? Is it ever a good idea to reunite with a former flame?

What would you do if your “one that got away” came back and seems to have changed? Do you give it another try or find a way to keep your distance?

Have you ever reunited with an ex and things turned out great? What do you think made the difference the second (third?) time around?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Realitistic expectations

I was listening to my guy friend Paul recently talk about some challenges he faced in dating. He has not been able to meet anyone who meets his standards, which he admits are a little unrealistic.

Paul works as a personal trainer, so he really wants to meet someone who is fit, into healthy living, and wants to help him build his business.
The women he meet are leading busy lives and don’t seem open to the idea of putting their careers on hold to help him with his goals. Is it realistic to expect something like this is dating?

I think a lot of us have an idea of what we want in a mate. We may not admit it but we have a mental checklist of what we consider ideal for us. How realistic are those expectations we have when it comes to dating?

Do you think single people need a reality check about what to expect from dating and relationships?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Broke and busy men date too

A reader sent me this article that was featured on The Good Men Project, entitled Dating While Broke. The author basically said that men with no money, limited free time will find it difficult to date. To wit:

Most women gauge a man’s interest by his spending of (a) money or (b) time. If the guy has no money, how can she see that he deserves a shot? If the guy has little free time because he is busy working so that he can someday have money, how can she still know that he cares for her?

I can certainly understand his point, however, I don’t know if this is a fair statement. It leaves out emotional support, affection, and attention which can absolutely make a woman fall for a guy. All that is free and takes genuine effort. That’s actually what a lot of women want to see.

Maybe I am over analyzing, but why would a woman stick around for anyone who does not make time in his life for her because he is chasing money?

What do you think? Can broke and busy people date? I am …

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Judging the book

Single people can find themselves scrutinizing each other for every little thing. The problem starts when we find random things to judge each other about. Sometimes we have to find out right away, exactly what the flaws are.

We think that is a way to improve our dating odds, but it can have the opposite effect. Women notice how men have too many female friends. Instead of thinking this as a positive thing, we assume he has slept with all of them. Men notice that a woman has a great career. Instead of thinking she is ambitious and capable, they assume she has no idea how to put someone else first.

Judging a book by it’s cover – we do it all the time, I don’t know if we even know when we do it. Do you think you have a problem judging people too harshly?

Have you ever felt that someone judged you and made assumptions about you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Right personality for marriage?

I was having brunch with my brunch chicas this weekend when the topic of marriage came up. I jokingly commented that having a husband that lived in the house across the street or next door sounds perfect!

I think a lot of single people who have not been married before have this fear (unhealthy?) of what life would be like living with someone else. Especially when you actually love living alone, in your space, doing secret single person behavior things all alone.

I wonder if it takes a certain type of personality to adapt to marriage and make those adjustments to living with a mate? Maybe some people find it easier than others.

Do you think some people just have the ideal personality to be married?
How can you know if you are that type? How can you tell if you have what it takes to be someone’s spouse?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: How to end FWBs?

I don’t know how many of you have been in this situation, but I am curious to read opinions on it: You have what you thought was the ideal Friends With Benefits arrangement. You are both starting to enjoy the perks that come with the no strings attached set up. Alas, all good things must come to an end. How do you terminate the benefits of Friends with Benefits?

Maybe one of you starts to catch feelings and violate the terms of the FWB arrangement. Or perhaps you have found an actual relationship potential. Whatever the case, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in the amount of drama or hurt feelings.

Have you ever had to end a FWB situation? How did you go about it? Were you straight up and honest? Did you remain friends (with no benefits?) Or did you choose the fade to black, disappearing act approach?

What is the best way to end it? Does it depend on what the benefits were?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Should you confess indiscretions?

One of our MIA blog readers would like a little advice about what he should do. He and his girlfriend recently had “the talk” and decided to go exclusive. Soon after the talk, he goes on a weekend trip with his boys and has a little inappropriate contact with random girl at bar.

He knows that since they had “the talk” he should own up to his indiscretion. The problem is, his girlfriend broke up with the last guy for a similar offense. Although he believes what he did was “not as bad” the fact that he didn’t actually sleep with someone else means he should keep it to himself.

If you are in an exclusive relationship, would you confess if you did a little dirt on the side? Would it matter the degree of the offense?

If someone you were seeing did something inappropriate with someone else, would you want them to tell you?

What would do if you your new boyfriend/girlfriend had an encounter with someone else, right after you decided to be exclusive?

P.S. For the record, I …

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