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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Relationships: What is your hurry?

Have you ever met someone you liked a lot and things started going super fast? It’s like your romantic interest went from potential interest to possible soul mate in a matter of days. What happened?!

I think a lot of us get caught up in someone new that we tend to jump over a couple of steps. What is the urgency? Why the need to rush things on the fast track?

I can remember an older woman telling me that you should not make any decision about a man until you have seen him in every season: winter, spring, summer, fall. Yes, apparently men can have different sides to their personality that is specific to a season!

Old wives tale aside, I can understand why seeing a person in different situations can show you a lot about their character. Do you believe that rushing a relationship can allow a person’s true character to be observed?

How do you slow things down without pushing everything off the rails? Would you be offended if the person you were dating wanted to slow things down?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

557 comments Add your comment

Jake...SPJTWB

August 28th, 2012
4:50 pm

Any other involuntary reactions occur ITL/CoMon? Sorry, I had to ask…lol

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
4:50 pm

disco – Not it’s not…as in not a good look…I agree

Bluzgirl...So ready for the beach!

August 28th, 2012
4:51 pm

So guys…if he just wanted FWB, then why was he the one to bring up that we are dating and take me out? It’s not like it was just booty calls or anything

disco

August 28th, 2012
4:51 pm

C – you give practical advice. I give BS advice. if you can’t play but you aren’t a good loser you need to practice cheating or at least practice bluffing. there are ways around just plain getting your butt whooped time and time again. you can renege or something. lol.

i'm swiss

August 28th, 2012
4:51 pm

To quote from Dave Chappelle:

“If a man could get puddy living in a cardboard box, he wouldn’t buy a house”

Exhibit A: See Bluz’s dude.

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
4:51 pm

Willie – But the average man can get some puddy

You ain’t never lied…lol soooo true

CC

August 28th, 2012
4:52 pm

Sorry for the shortened moniker, but it is harder to type in the box from my phone! Boy! Y’all move fast! Trying to catch up on Bluzy’s latest dilemma from the car. (Yes, I will admit I am addicted to Bluz drama like a bad talk show! Happy, disco?)

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
4:53 pm

disco – This time, Imma have to agree….lol Bluz need to implement some stuff that’s gonna give her a raw edge. Some “roughage.”

Leggs

August 28th, 2012
4:53 pm

“…if he just wanted FWB, then why was he the one to bring up that we are dating and take me out?” Same strategy men use when telling a woman one day he will marry her, but never gives her a ring.

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
4:54 pm

No matter how many times and how the question is asked, the answer will likely remain the same.

i'm swiss

August 28th, 2012
4:55 pm

Bluz — Who knows? Maybe he thought that’s what you needed to hear to be okay with giving it up? Maybe he actually did like you, but then got scared off by how — um, what was ITL’s word? — intense you are. Maybe he was put off by the sloppy drunken shenanigans. Who knows? But one thing I can tell you for sure. People’s actions will tell you a lot more than their words. And if he really wanted something meaningful with you, you’d know it.

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
4:56 pm

I thought MMeello would get a chance to pop back in. He usually can the end of day.

CC

August 28th, 2012
4:56 pm

He wanted FWB but he knew you wanted more, so he tried to go that route so he could keep knocking the boots but then, to borrow swiss’ statement, he realized you were a stage 5 clinger (no only that but an emotionally unstable one that drinks too much) and he bailed. Now, he doesn’t want to loose your connections ( or the opportunity to hit that in the future) so he is buttering you up and trying to talk. Capiche?

Poppa Grande

August 28th, 2012
4:56 pm

Bluz…

All I gonna say is “make sure that the actions, match the words that come out of his mouth” . If they don’t then there is a discrepancy that should be reconciled.

disco

August 28th, 2012
4:57 pm

CC – your addiction does not make me happy. I’d be lying if I said I got any joy out of your admission. I’d recommend counseling or therapy except that it’s been proven on the blog that counseling and/or therapy isn’t nearly as effective as it should be. I, personally, am not drawn into the adventures and antics of bluz. poor child gives me a headache. I just don’t have that much patience.

Bluzgirl...So ready for the beach!

August 28th, 2012
4:57 pm

We haven’t even had sex since HE said we were dating. Oh well. Chalk it up to another experience. I just wish he had come talked to me in person…

Bluzgirl...So ready for the beach!

August 28th, 2012
4:58 pm

I’m out of here and heading home. Will check in when I get there…

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
4:59 pm

@Bluz: Are you ever going to truly hear us?!?!?!??!

CC

August 28th, 2012
4:59 pm

Swiss~ She is Gigi in “He’s just not that into you”

Have you read that book or seen the movie, Bluz? You are Gigi! I’m with ITL, I would be shaking you by the shoulders if this was real life!!!

Willie Dynamite

August 28th, 2012
5:00 pm

Bluz bluz bluz – some people buy cereal because they like it. Some people buy cereal just to get the prize.
Take your heart and mind out of the equation. This was purely physical point blank. Let it go and move on. Really.

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
5:00 pm

Cause he’s done that already. And like someone said, you should know it’s a turn off dealing with a drunken woman and a clingon. Not trying to sound harsh. You’re concentrating on all he said or didn’t say but none of what may have run him off. I still believe initially you had the opportunity to make it stick. I’m not a man but the first signs of a drunk and I’m out of there. I don’t care how many times we’ve had sex.

CC

August 28th, 2012
5:00 pm

disco~ I thought you would be happy I admitted it though… LOL!

Leggs

August 28th, 2012
5:00 pm

That’s because you got so wasted Friday. He wasn’t interested with everything else going on your lives.

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
5:01 pm

@Swiss: You read my mind!! :)

Celisea

August 28th, 2012
5:01 pm

And I can promise you, you don’t know what it is to deal with the drunken you, because you’re not the one having to deal with it. He was.

Jake...SPJTWB

August 28th, 2012
5:02 pm

See that, he mentioned dating, and the puddy well dried up….when it was undefined, ya’ll was fugging like rabbits….makes absolutely NO FUGGIN SENSE!!!!

Be Easy

i'm swiss

August 28th, 2012
5:03 pm

CC — Oh lawd, don’t tell her that! Now she’s gonna think she’ll end up with the guy in the end like in the movie. (Yeah, yeah, I’m married, so I had to watch that sh!t). :lol: She’s not Gigi or anybody else. She’s Bluz, and if this dude were really into her, there wouldn’t be any doubts.

Celisea

August 28th, 2012
5:05 pm

We’ve been on this ride with Bluzy over a year now…the band dude, the clown and Magnum. Bluzy’s tone has pretty much been the same through them all. IJS

CC

August 28th, 2012
5:06 pm

swiss~ What they don’t show you in the movie is she ended up with dude, but he constantly dogs er because he will always be a player but he needed somneone on his arm to hostess his parties and all that happy crappy. That’s why there was no sequel… LOL!

disco

August 28th, 2012
5:07 pm

I think part of my problem is that I’m biased against “man-dumb”. I know everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and all that but I can’t stand to see a woman that is relatively sensible in most other aspects act a damned fool when there’s a man involved. burns me up.

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
5:08 pm

Don’t say that, Jake! She’ll see that as another rabbit trail to run down.

@Bluz: If you really, really, really want to know what happened, read, reread, and reread again Swiss’s 4:55, the first half of CC’s 4:56 (minus the part about losing connections), WD’s 5:00 and Celisea’s 5:00. They all say basically the same thing because they are all RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!! Print it and tape it to your bathroom mirror if you have to. No ifs, no ands, no buts…..read the truth and OWN the truth. DAYUM!

CC

August 28th, 2012
5:09 pm

Cosign on disco’s 5:07

Leggs

August 28th, 2012
5:10 pm

Willie Dynamite

August 28th, 2012
5:11 pm

Not trying to be mean but yall trying to get all deep. I told yall Bluz was being put on the team. He got her on a schedule. Go back and look its classic 101. Beat her down good, get busy and/or go outta twon. Beat her down good. Dog her out make her think its her fault. Wait 1-2 weeks beat her down good again. Rinse and repeat for bout 6 months.

CC

August 28th, 2012
5:12 pm

ITL~ You don’t think that part of him wants her to still do stuff to advance his music career? I do! Especially if the show last night went decent AND he didn’t have to put up with her foolishness? Yeah, he’s all over that part!

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
5:12 pm

(ITL now hanging her head in shame….how do I let this get me so aggravated????)

Celisea

August 28th, 2012
5:12 pm

Beat her down good. Dog her out make her think its her fault. Wait 1-2 weeks beat her down good again. Rinse and repeat for bout 6 months.

OMGawd….lololololol…stoooooooppit

CC

August 28th, 2012
5:12 pm

WD~ You got me LMAO in the car with that 5:11!

i'm swiss

August 28th, 2012
5:13 pm

“What they don’t show you in the movie is she ended up with dude, but he constantly dogs er because he will always be a player but he needed somneone on his arm to hostess his parties and all that happy crappy. That’s why there was no sequel…”

CC — Ah, okay, well that could really happen. So, Bluz, read the book, but stay away from the movie. There’s no Hollywood ending in real life.

Seriously, though, you wreak of desperation — like you’re not complete unless you have a man in your life. Dudes can sense that like sharks smell blood in the ocean. The good dudes won’t want to deal with the accompanying mania and the players will want to take advantage of your vulnerability. You need to take some time to get to a point where you’re happy with your life and yourself sans boo, and then you’ll be amazed at the different caliber of dude you attract.

Celisea

August 28th, 2012
5:15 pm

I shole hope she does come back and read once she’s home. I hope this time, something sticks.

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
5:15 pm

Maybe so, WD, maybe so.

CC- I don’t think that’s it, because they’ve been friends for a long time. If that was all he wanted, he could have asked her before now. Although……now that you mention it, he could be trying to prevent her “badmouthing” him to people who book shows…..but that is dependant on how much clout she has in the blues community.

disco

August 28th, 2012
5:17 pm

i'm swiss

August 28th, 2012
5:17 pm

WD — See now, weren’t you just chastising me for giving out classified information??? :lol:

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
5:18 pm

Look at Swiss, going all big bro and giving the tough love now. Maybe she’ll hear it from you…..

Me, too, re: Celisea’s 5:15

Willie Dynamite

August 28th, 2012
5:19 pm

Swiss – touche` 2 demerits for me. Hahaha

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
5:20 pm

I wish I had had this blog or a copy of the MLB law book 10 years ago. I might be married to the man of my dreams right now. :)

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
5:20 pm

Willie’s in the corner…..Willie’s in the corner….na na na naaaaa naaaaa…..

Comon Cents

August 28th, 2012
5:21 pm

O/T~ I hate when I’m all set to power through the yellow light and the car in front of me chickens out!

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
5:23 pm

That’s it for me. Y’all be sweet. Blog smooches.

Bluz, if you’re back and reading this, just remember we tell you this because we blog love you and are trying to save you from learning things the hard way like we had to.

Comon Cents

August 28th, 2012
5:23 pm

Lol at ITL’s 1st 5:20!