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Relationships: What is your hurry?

Have you ever met someone you liked a lot and things started going super fast? It’s like your romantic interest went from potential interest to possible soul mate in a matter of days. What happened?!

I think a lot of us get caught up in someone new that we tend to jump over a couple of steps. What is the urgency? Why the need to rush things on the fast track?

I can remember an older woman telling me that you should not make any decision about a man until you have seen him in every season: winter, spring, summer, fall. Yes, apparently men can have different sides to their personality that is specific to a season!

Old wives tale aside, I can understand why seeing a person in different situations can show you a lot about their character. Do you believe that rushing a relationship can allow a person’s true character to be observed?

How do you slow things down without pushing everything off the rails? Would you be offended if the person you were dating wanted to slow things down?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

557 comments Add your comment

Lily

August 28th, 2012
6:34 am

Diva, the old lady was right. Facades are men of ill intent best weapons. Absolutely be guarded! Some make it their life’s mission to hide behind the smoke screen. CLEAR THE AIR AND FREELY SEE!!

Bertha

August 28th, 2012
7:15 am

How do I slow things down? Tell him to kick rocks, stick an I hate you sign on his back and a kick me sign on his groin. If he sticks around, he’s a keeper.

Exiled!

August 28th, 2012
7:47 am

Third!(hate to say that Liiii….the words aren’t coming out! Lol)

The old woman was tight because men and women do fake..afterall women fake Orgasm!

:lol: so we know they are way capable if fronting

There Lily! :lol:

And according to abc…women cheat more..and abc knows a lot more stuff that most of the women on this blog combined…,enough said.

Ok..enough of the abc pedestal….

Follow your heart..that’s what I would say!

Good morning!

Exiled!

August 28th, 2012
7:47 am

Exiled!

August 28th, 2012
7:48 am

Lily

August 28th, 2012
7:54 am

@Exiled, you have to work on beating Bertha first. lol

Good day!

Celisea: Choir girl (ha ha) with glasses with her sexy hairbun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Played? Neva! Now watch me walk away :)

August 28th, 2012
8:21 am

Morning!!!

I’m here early as I have meetings…boo I’ll have to watch the blog from my laptop in the conference rooms. Right now? NEED COFFEE!!

Be back on topic.

Celisea: Choir girl (ha ha) with glasses with her sexy hairbun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Played? Neva! Now watch me walk away :)

August 28th, 2012
8:22 am

Ut oh, I feel too sugary this morning…lol

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
8:22 am

Morning! Good Topic! Well I met my boo in late spring early summer and this summer has been a good one getting to know one another and getting through our highs and lows and good and bad days…..We have sustain into a solid relationship and I am enjoying the ride. We discussed recently how we are looking forward to fall and winter (the holidays) with our bond growing stronger. I must say our relationship isn’t candy land and the butterflies have settled a while back. When have had some heated debates and down right arguments but I must say for the most part we don’t go to be angry and we truly communicate our needs and wants and minimize the passive behavior. We even noticed when we disagree we were starting to hit below the belt with sensitive information and we both discussed how it has to stop so I feel we are continuously growing into a more solid couple with our seasons~ He is a good guy of good stock. I respect his wisdom and experiences and he says he learns from me too and I have helped him with a difficult situation. One thing he mentioned yesterday is he values my kindness and our friendship. I must say I love our friendship too. We have a very similar background and it helps our foundation. We were in the Sprint store Saturday past and the rep stated it seems my boo and I has known each other a very long time. I am just happy we are sustaining through the good and bad and moving forward with the same goals.

Celisea: Choir girl (ha ha) with glasses and a sexy hairbun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Played? Neva! Now watch me walk away :)

August 28th, 2012
8:22 am

A bit of maintenance…don’t mind me

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
8:25 am

meant we don’t go to “bed” angry……….

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
8:30 am

he eagerly says he is going to marry me~ until that season comes I will enjoy the other seasons humbly~ I just really appreciates he wants to be with me just as much as I want to be with him~ It is not forced at all……… :-)

So naturally our relationship has slowed down and took its course bc we did start out very excited bc we both were super happy we both wanted the same things out of an relationship moving forward

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
8:31 am

SlimUno

August 28th, 2012
8:34 am

Cel – It’s too early to be trying to read a moniker that dayum long. We’re going to have 135 pages by noon with that thang ;-)

I’ll be in here on the sneak tip since my bosses boss is in town, popping in periodically. So this already gloomy day is going to be more of a drag ass day without yall :cry:

Celisea: Choir girl (ha ha) with glasses and a sexy hairbun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Played? Neva! Now watch me walk away :)

August 28th, 2012
8:35 am

Hey there Lady!

Slim – Girl, you made me laugh out loud…lolololol My baaaad

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
8:37 am

Let’s see if this is better.

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
8:38 am

Slim – For the morning it’s gonna be drag ass for me as well. Hope none of the execs show up for the meeting. They’re good for just “popping” in all unannounced. I can lurk but I can’t blog….til later.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
8:38 am

yeah Slim I said today will be a drag and a long one~ my allergies are acting a fool and I just finished some oatmeal that wasn’t the best but I needed it for breakfast………

Comon Cents

August 28th, 2012
8:43 am

Good Morning, bloggies!

I think that the rushing is the crux of the issue today. People are in such a hurry to be in relationships that the normal “getting to know you” phase is passed by with lightning speed. Then they wonder why things didn’t work. If you are worth knowing, make him/her take the time to get to know you. Be friends first. The friendship will last long after the physical has gone.

SlimUno

August 28th, 2012
8:43 am

Cel – Where are my manners, GOOD MORNING!

Lady – The beau has been recently taking claritin so I guess the allergies thing is piping up for some reason.

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
8:45 am

Slim – MORNING!!! LOL

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
8:46 am

Well, I did make up for my missed lunch date on Saturday. Is that dishing?? There weren’t any bumping uglies or anything…lololol Just friends. Actually a “friend” that’s been a “friend” for a few months :)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
8:51 am

lol C~ you funny friend! ;)

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
8:52 am

And what’s my hurry? Not in one. That’s the worse thing you can do. Dive in tossing all caution to the wind and THEN, you wanna think and set rules and parameters. Actually it’s okay to dive in…at some point, but first set the order of how things should flow.

At the same time, I think it’s possible to pull the brakes if the train is moving a bit too fast. I think though that it’s probably not as easy as it sounds. If you yank the brakes to fast and too hard, you could end up getting derailed.

Comon Cents

August 28th, 2012
8:52 am

Slim/Lady~ Ragweed came out earlier than usual this year because of the weather conditions, so everyone who has allergies is suffering.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
8:53 am

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
8:55 am

Lady – I was a bit disappointed Friday but I had to cancel. I’m glad I did. My guy (that I work with), sent me an email this morning and said he could tell much effort went into the reports I compiled and my layout. So, it was worth the cancellation. And you know I have to be skilled in “dating” and getting “me” time in.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
8:55 am

Comon Cents it makes no sense….my head is pounding now and I have the sniffles………..I have taken meds but they become immune soon so I just deal with my allergies……sigh

SlimUno

August 28th, 2012
8:55 am

As far as the topic goes, i’m sort of experiencing this as a 3rd party with the whole sister-rush-into-marrying-a-dude-she-only-knew-about-two-weeks. (was claiming to be ‘in love’ after one week) I’m still trying to wrap my head around this whole ordeal but like BF told me last week, it’s her life, her decisions and only thing I can do is be here in case something goes awry.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
8:56 am

Yep you know you C and you do you very well so folks know when you cancel its for a good reason. You are not random at all honey!

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
8:57 am

Lady – At this point, I’m NEVER without a decongestant. I don’t need so much during the day as often as at night, it’s nothing for my sinuses to run amuck…out of nowhere… I’m not taking everynight but I keep, just in case.

SlimUno

August 28th, 2012
9:00 am

(she’s 27 and he’s 47)

Cel/Lady – Do you all ever do a saline nasal flush? I hear that helps and as nasty as it sound early in the morning while i’m still sleep, it seems to help the beau. :shock:

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
9:01 am

Slim – I did it once, as the doctor ordered and it worked!! Get it if you haven’t. It’s over the counter too.

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
9:06 am

Morning, all.

I’m not in a rush for anything or anyone.

And the next time I fall, I’m gonna have to recall, it isn’t love it’s only something new……. (Little wisdom from Amy and Emily for y’all this morning)

@Slim: The sinus rinse is DIS_GUST_ING, but it works like a charm. I take Zyrtec every morning (M-F) and Allega on Sat and Sun and that helps, too.

Still and all….post nasal drip – that’s not sexy. :(

Into the Light

August 28th, 2012
9:09 am

And where is Swiss when I need someone to acknowledge my musical references??? Hmph! :roll:

SlimUno

August 28th, 2012
9:16 am

I had really bad allergies when I was younger, but seems like they have gotten so much better over the years. Thank God!! I got tired of waking up with my eyes swollen, itchy, and stuck together from sneezing 20 times back to back.

Comon Cents

August 28th, 2012
9:16 am

ITL~ Channeling New Edition.
If it isn’t love, why do I feel this way?
Why does she stay on my mind.?
And if it isn’t love, why do I feel so sad?
Make me feel so bad inside?

:lol:

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
9:20 am

Slim I am 33 and he is 47 and I must say the 14 year difference is a difference and has its pros and cons………….We battled through that and founded common ground to respect each others experiences too. it wasn’t a piece of cake bc of course we are from two different eras but it worked out………….

Leggs

August 28th, 2012
9:20 am

Morning.

Nice post, Lady.

I’m not sure why so many want to rush a relationship. Caution is key and necessary while navigating dating highs and lows.

I’ve been battling a severe stomach ache since yesterday. Now, I have a runny nose and a lot of sneezing. Thank goodness no fever.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
9:21 am

@Common Cents break down what you think that song really means?!? I go see them next month and can’t wait!

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
9:21 am

Lady – Have you been attracted to older men or is this something new you tried and found it’s pretty cool?

I have NEVER dated a dude “older.” I’ve got friends that swear by it…lol I don’t knock it just never happened upon it.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
9:22 am

my bad Comon Cents with the spelling BTW, I am not sure how long you have been long but you are new to me so excuse my lack of familiarity with your moniker……no pun intended sis~

Exiled!

August 28th, 2012
9:22 am

you don’t go to bed angry?

@LadyJ..u ain’t told us yet u went there ….. Lol

Am I over reading

Ughhhh I’m sensitive! :lol:

You blindsided me there Lady… :lol:

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
9:23 am

One of my friends married at 43 (I gotta say at 43 she was smoookin) and he’s about her age but she told me when she was younger she never dated anyone less than 15 years older than her.

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
9:24 am

MMeello – Are you sticking around today? I know you don’t get to blog often now with the gig. How’s that going btw?

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
9:25 am

Yes C I have been attracted to older post my divorce and comfy in that lane. However, I had to truly respect that he is older and while we are similar and like-minded we are different too (age) meaning way of thinking and processing. I don’t feel awkward at all and we meet each other where we are and learn from the mistakes we make together…..Like I said our relationship isn’t candy land and those butterflies have ceased lol………its the real deal……

Thanks Ms Leggs!

disco

August 28th, 2012
9:27 am

good morning all.

hate to admit it but I’m feeling bertha’s 7:15. lol.

glad I don’t have allergies. sucks to be all of y’all.

Celisea: Choir girl (haha) w/glasses and a sexy little bun, smarter than a fifth grader, blowing the smoking gun! Now watch me walk away! :)

August 28th, 2012
9:27 am

Lady, that’s wonderful. You read happy. Glad it’s working out for you :)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 28th, 2012
9:27 am

LMBAO Ex~~~~~ he is a man and bed is apart of this equation and being angry isn’t fun @ the end of the night so we are forced to handle issues in the moment and not let tension build up for passive aggressive behavior. We both divorced on some BS so we just don’t want to make the same mistakes….we are cognitive of our actions…..seriously lol

Exiled!

August 28th, 2012
9:27 am

Cel? Neva played but the Player!

Ha ha :lol: Cel