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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating multiple people: For or against

I don’t know why some women are so opposed to dating multiple people. We can multitask almost everything in our lives, but men? We hesitate to do so! I am sure everyone has their reasons, but I wonder is dating multiple people the best way to meet The One?

Almost all my guy friends are seeing a cadre of women – fascinating women, too. They are upfront with everyone they date and tell me that they make no false promises. Why does it seem so easy for them to do it?

I know men and women view dating and relationships differently. This is yet another example of how we have vastly different ideas on dating and looking for the one special “forever” person.

Let’s argue both sides today:

If you are in favor of dating multiple people, state the reasons why. Have you tried it personally? Why do you think it was easy or not easy for you?

If you are strongly opposed to the idea, state why you think it is a recipe for disaster. Have you tried it and got a lot of drama and backlash?

I am curious to see how where we all stand on this dating issue.
For the record: I am opposed to it – but it is basically because I am way too lazy/busy to devote a lot of energy to more than one guy at a time. Hey! At least I am honest! :)

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

486 comments Add your comment

SlimUno

August 27th, 2012
12:32 pm

Bluz – I’m not sure how I missed that 10:17, dayum girl! So when you looked back at the texts you sent last night, what did they say?

Comon Cents

August 27th, 2012
12:33 pm

All that emotional tap dancing has you tired, huh?

ATL Guy

August 27th, 2012
12:33 pm

Bluz – its all good, come party with me. I’ll have an entourage named Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo, & Jim Bean. They’re cool to hang out with in moderation, but tend to give you headaches after awhile … nothing like a little cheap regret in the morning :)

disco

August 27th, 2012
12:33 pm

CC – a very real possibility (charter that is).

bluz – some folks are gifted when the uncanny ability to take folks “there”. you, my dear girl, can take folks there. lol.

CC – I just heard my high school French teacher say “tres mal” and “comme ci comme ca”

Leggs

August 27th, 2012
12:34 pm

I don’t even want to tell my therapist everything I did. It’s one thing to be honest with ya’ll – you haven’t told us much. You danced on stage and kept your date our longer than he wanted to be out. You had to do more than that in your drunken stupor.

Comon Cents

August 27th, 2012
12:35 pm

tres mal~ very bad

Comme ci coome ca~ so, so.

Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!

August 27th, 2012
12:36 pm

Bluzy – I got a feeling a few years from now, you’ll be looking back and say dang, I can’t believe I did that! :) :)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 27th, 2012
12:36 pm

Digressing C~ Crazy is as crazy does~ now how backhanded and smooth is that sis?!? LOL~ #carryon

Comon Cents

August 27th, 2012
12:37 pm

Bluz is singing~ Quand il me prend dans se bras, il me parle tout bas, je voir le vie en rose…

Be careful of those rose colored glasses girlie…

Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!

August 27th, 2012
12:37 pm

Lady – LOLOLOLOL…..okaaay :) Out to lunch!!

SlimUno

August 27th, 2012
12:37 pm

So there lies the truth…You know why he’s mad at you girl lol

disco

August 27th, 2012
12:39 pm

CC – you are on your francais. his other one was “fermez la bouche”. lol.

Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...

August 27th, 2012
12:40 pm

He just texted…”I can’t babysit anymore”

I wrote back…”I understand and promise you won’t have to…I’m serious about not drinking for a while. I don’t know why I did that Fri night…Another chance please? I do like you and I think I was nervous…”

Comon Cents

August 27th, 2012
12:41 pm

disco~ fermez la bouche~ Shut up! or literally close your mouth :lol

Comon Cents

August 27th, 2012
12:42 pm

Bluz~ How many times has he had to babysit you?

Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...

August 27th, 2012
12:44 pm

He hasn’t…he left Fri after dropping me off, so no babysitting there. Last weekend, I think he felt a little like babysitting me, but I just happy go lucky drunk. Not falling down…He at least stayed that night. He didn’t have to take care of me or anything. Just had to deal with me being a little loud and rambunctious…

Ugh!!!

disco

August 27th, 2012
12:45 pm

and in keeping with the theme…

bluz – s’il te plait.

CC – tres drole. lol.

whew. coming up on chow time.

SlimUno

August 27th, 2012
12:45 pm

If we’re all being punked then this definitely will have to go in the record books. Just seems crazy to have this much going on all the time. You tell him he needs to check his drinking, then you go out and get wasted, dancing on stage and with another dude. Probably letting him throw you all around and dry hump you to the bass guitar lol

Jake...SPJTWB

August 27th, 2012
12:45 pm

What up…Leggs got a toothless man, Bluz is, well, being Bluz, and what else is cracking.

Oh yeah, Leggs, since you went this weekend….I do think that the Pearl Bistro is the best place to PARTY in Atlanta. Mature cowd that really comes to have fun, last time I went, I couldn’t get up the staircase cause folks were dancing in the aisles…my kind of party…

SlimUno

August 27th, 2012
12:51 pm

Leggs – I was just thinking, you had the jobless/carless man, now the toofless. I wonder what character you’ll come across next…legless lol

Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...

August 27th, 2012
12:56 pm

Slim…trust me…this was a really old man and there was no dirty dancing with him!!! I was being nice by dancing with him!

Leggs

August 27th, 2012
12:58 pm

WOW, Bluz…told you. No man wants a woman that guzzles….

@SlimUno ~ when I find you, I’m gonna beat you upside your head til the white meat shows….

Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...

August 27th, 2012
12:58 pm

Isht…he just texted “I don’t want a girlfried, I have too much on my plate. I much prefer that we go back to just friends.”

Into the Light

August 27th, 2012
12:58 pm

Um, Bluz….you forgot to mention that he “had to deal with you being rambunctious and loud” when you were telling us he left without saying goodbye….

LOL@Slim. Don’t speak it – it could happen. A good friend of mine got in a little altercation one night at our local spot. How about when he punches the guy, the guy falls backward and his prosthetic leg came off???? He felt so bad about that one, but we ribbed him for DAYS about beating up the one-legged man.

Leggs

August 27th, 2012
1:02 pm

Jake ~ I haven’t been on that side of town in a good 20+ years. I had a blast. Mature crowd indeed. Everyone just wanting to have a good time.

What staircase. I don’t remember seeing a staircase??? I only had 2 drinks (cuz they were free) and I knew I had a long drive back home.

Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...

August 27th, 2012
1:04 pm

That kind of ticks me off…dating does not mean boyfriend and girlfriend. Ugh…

Into the Light

August 27th, 2012
1:05 pm

@Bluz’s 12:58: Soooo, you got the answer, now keep it moving. Don’t mind f#ck the hows and whys, shoulda, coulda, or wouldas….just accept it and keep moving toward the amazing man that is in store for you.

i'm swiss

August 27th, 2012
1:06 pm

“Bluzy – I got a feeling a few years from now, you’ll be looking back and say dang, I can’t believe I did that!”

Cel — Nah. I’m pretty sure a few years from now, she’ll be looking back and realize that she’s still doing the exact same sh!t. Hope you prove me wrong, Bluz, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

Leggs

August 27th, 2012
1:06 pm

Bluz ~ you should have seen that coming. Really, you should have. When he left you last weekend w/o saying good bye and your door open told you then. He thought it over and opted to try it again to be sure and you blew it by getting sloppy drunk. All you did was confirm what he was lying to himself about. You too drinkers together are going to combust.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 27th, 2012
1:07 pm

my pandora stations are sucking today……..music monday can’t get going correctly~ sigh….

Leggs

August 27th, 2012
1:08 pm

And SlimUno, thank goodness I never really “had them.” :wink:

Into the Light

August 27th, 2012
1:08 pm

dating does not mean boyfriend and girlfriend

Um, Bluz? I mean this in the nicest, gentlest, sweetest most caring way possible….but if I were him, I would think that with you, dating probably does mean BF/GF. You are kinda intense, sweetie…..

Into the Light

August 27th, 2012
1:10 pm

I feel a drink or two or twelve coming my way….soon.

Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...

August 27th, 2012
1:10 pm

This sucks so bad. I’m really bumming now…I want to reply with something, but what? Is there even a point? Maybe I shouldn’t go tonight. I really want to, though. I just don’t know how I will feel when I see him. He pursued me last week. I effed up…I know that, but can what I did really change the fact that he liked me?

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 27th, 2012
1:11 pm

so what does dating mean? or in an exclusive relationship mean BF & GF or S/O?!? #curious…. so I am dating my BF is far fetched?!? 0_o

Jake...SPJTWB

August 27th, 2012
1:11 pm

Well Leggs, you are right, it ain’t exactly a staircase, its a few steps…lol

As for him not wanting a girlfriend Bluz, ya’ll was suppose to just be fugging….no harm no foul, don’t go trippin on him and acting like he did something to you, other than see your O-face.

Into the Light

August 27th, 2012
1:11 pm

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leggs

August 27th, 2012
1:13 pm

Let him be, Bluz. He probably still likes you, but he can like you at a distance. You’re relationship was entirely too new for you to F… up like that. Well, in your case, we know your representative didn’t show up.

Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!

August 27th, 2012
1:14 pm

Swiss – After the last strand of postings, sadly I agree. I concede. I was holding out hope. Buddy is just tired. He’s got his issues but Bluzy’s sound like they outweigh his. Nothing worse than not knowing you need help. I hope she gets the helps she needs. Seriously.

Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...

August 27th, 2012
1:15 pm

To me, dating is the process of getting to know each other better and see if we will become exclusive. I hate that I showed my a$$ and messed up what may have been a good thing. I feel terrible now…

Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!

August 27th, 2012
1:15 pm

That’s why you NEVER dive in, drawers first….especially if you don’t have the heart tempered for that kind of play. Nothing to be ashamed about, in not being able to roll like that. Just realize it before the next encounter.

Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!

August 27th, 2012
1:17 pm

Bluzy – Just back away and totally disconnect. Dry your tears and yourself out and focus ahead. I think he may have liked you and could have turned to something more. But, no point in crying over spilled milk nor beating yourself up two and three weeks from now.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 27th, 2012
1:17 pm

oh I see………….but one can date a person exclusively too correct meaning its a relationship. the dating part doesn’t have to fade either….but I get you honey~

Into the Light

August 27th, 2012
1:17 pm

Hate it for a minute and move on….. he is not the only man in the world, Bluz.

My best friend used to always say to me, “Yeah, you screwed up. But did you learn something? And are you going to use what you learned to help you going forward? If so, then the experience had meaning.” (shrugs) Helped me a lot…dunno about you, but I hope it will help.

i'm swiss

August 27th, 2012
1:17 pm

Actually, I think Slim’s on to something. I think we are being punked. Andy Kaufman has got nothing on Bluz.

Leggs

August 27th, 2012
1:18 pm

That’s why you NEVER dive in, drawers first….

Deserves repeating.

“To me, dating is the process of getting to know each other better and see if we will become exclusive. – That’s a very good definition, Bluz. Stitch it on a pillow and read it daily.

Again, see first sentence above!

Into the Light

August 27th, 2012
1:20 pm

Now Andy did you hear about this one….tell me are you locked in the punch…Now, Andy are you goofing on Elvis (hey, baby!)…..

Comon Cents

August 27th, 2012
1:21 pm

Bluz- Do not text dude. Do not go tonight (because that will end badly) and for the love of all that’s holy, stop giving so much so fast! Take your needs correctly, stop drinking and get your life together.

Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!

August 27th, 2012
1:21 pm

Bluzy – One more thing, all of us women are pretty much built the same. I mean we vary in certain areas and arenas but as it relates to how a woman ticks, we are all parallel. Now, with that being said, next time we try and steer you…..LISTEN AND FOLLOW. Not that we know it all but if the majority is older and pretty much advising you in the same direction, take it that there’s something to the advice given.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 27th, 2012
1:23 pm

Now I need a drink~ Chardonnay please and some spinach dip! wow~