Dating multiple people: For or against
I don’t know why some women are so opposed to dating multiple people. We can multitask almost everything in our lives, but men? We hesitate to do so! I am sure everyone has their reasons, but I wonder is dating multiple people the best way to meet The One?
Almost all my guy friends are seeing a cadre of women – fascinating women, too. They are upfront with everyone they date and tell me that they make no false promises. Why does it seem so easy for them to do it?
I know men and women view dating and relationships differently. This is yet another example of how we have vastly different ideas on dating and looking for the one special “forever” person.
Let’s argue both sides today:
If you are in favor of dating multiple people, state the reasons why. Have you tried it personally? Why do you think it was easy or not easy for you?
If you are strongly opposed to the idea, state why you think it is a recipe for disaster. Have you tried it and got a lot of drama and backlash?
I am curious to see how where we all stand on this dating issue.
For the record: I am opposed to it – but it is basically because I am way too lazy/busy to devote a lot of energy to more than one guy at a time. Hey! At least I am honest! 
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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486 comments Add your comment
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
11:48 am
CC…but, I don’t wanna!!! Usually, I can keep it under control, or just get a little buzz and quit. I need to stay away from liquor. I do have a problem with once I start with liquor, I don’t stop until I’m sloshed. At least with beer, I can get a buzz and not get crazy drunk!!! No more liquor for me…
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
11:49 am
Lady – I agree. The power is in her hands. Sounds like she could have had buddy on the line. Looks like he’s back in the water now.
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
11:50 am
I had a friend that would drink until drunk. That’s NEVER a good look or good time. Problem was this person never got to see the drunk version so this person never realized just how bad it looked and just how bad it was. That’s gotta suck!!
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
11:50 am
Cel…it is tough doing the roller coaster…
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
11:52 am
Bluzy – I know you like drinking, most folks do. For some a night out is not a night out without it, but maybe you should SERIOUSLY considering refraining altogether. You can still have lots of fun not drinking….seeing it doesn’t really ever seem to end well. Just a thought.
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
11:52 am
consider not considering….
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
11:53 am
I think you need just a little more faith in yourself. You seem to be low in that department. You can do anything you set your mind to do…if you believe you can, you can.
SlimUno
August 27th, 2012
11:53 am
Trying to catch back up
Leggs – Yeah I heard Lil Scrappy very briefly before I got out of the car. I have no idea why he says that so much. Aarrrrrgggh, ya feel me?
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
11:54 am
I know I can do it. There have been times that I’ve taken a break from drinking and had a perfectly good time. I swear…usually, I don’t get sloshed when I go out. I usually get a buzz, but not like I got on Friday night. Even last week was only half of what Fri was. I really messed up and now I don’t know what to do…
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
11:54 am
Here’s a quote for you, Bluzy I saw years ago.
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right.
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
11:55 am
Any advice on what I can do to get him to give me another chance?
disco
August 27th, 2012
11:56 am
bluz – you make me use my two lines “whew lawd” and “sweet jesus”. lately those have been reserved for work but works cool so I’ll use them on you.
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
11:56 am
Bluzy – But, if no matter how much time away only results in the same thing once you revisit, then maybe that’s time for a wake-up call to abandon.
YOU CAN DO IT, YES YOU CAN!!!
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
11:57 am
I can’t believe I got so sloppy drunk – Earlier you said you didn’t think you were really “sloppy drunk.”
Stop drinking. Clear your head.
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
11:57 am
Bluzy – May I ask you something? Will you be honest? Are you only thinking about sex or the lack thereof if he walks away? Is that what’s top of mind?
SlimUno
August 27th, 2012
11:58 am
swiss – It’s funny you mentioned Yoda because that’s exactlay what came to mind in reference to all the circle talking.
Into the Light
August 27th, 2012
11:58 am
Any advice on what I can do to get him to give me another chance?
Yep, but you won’t heed it so I’ll keep it to myself.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
11:58 am
CC…but, I don’t wanna!!! Usually, I can keep it under control, or just get a little buzz and quit. I need to stay away from liquor. I do have a problem with once I start with liquor, I don’t stop until I’m sloshed. At least with beer, I can get a buzz and not get crazy drunk!!! No more liquor for me.
That entire post is dizzying…
SlimUno
August 27th, 2012
11:59 am
Bluz – You still didn’t tell us exactly how wasted you were and how you were acting? So can’t really say how we can offer advice on a second chance if we aren’t sure what you did or why he’s upset.
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
12:00 pm
Bluz~ My question would be “Why would you want him too?” He fudged up and you gave him the opportunity to explain his actions in less tan 24 hours. This happened on Friday night and buddy hasn’t talked to you since. Maybe you should stop fighting with that fish and cut it loose. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but who wants to cach fish anyway? What you need is a fishing partner. Someone to help you steer the boat and bait your line. Someone who is your equal as opposed to someone you must teach.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
12:00 pm
I remember growing up always talking with my hands and saying “you know.” NYers talk a lot with their hands so it took me a minute to stop that. Mama would said “I don’t know anything you’re talking about, stop saying “you know!”
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 27th, 2012
12:00 pm
find the insanity quote too~ its real and trust I am not throwing a stone bc I have done something over and over and get the same results~ Bluz change is within and letting an OBJECTIVE NON-BIAS party help you through……
Thanks C and good post as well sis~
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
12:01 pm
Any advice on what I can do to get him to give me another chance?
First and foremost, give him some breathing room. He’s mentally going through things in his head and possible outcomes. Right now he needs space…
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
12:02 pm
Cel – It’s not even just about the sex anymore. I like him and he liked me. You know, though…he messed up last weekend and I gave him another chance. Now, I messed up…if he really is a nice guy, he will forgive and give me another chance.
He texted me last Tues asking if we were no longer speaking. I’m tempted to text him the same thing.
I’m really bumming about all of this. I hate to think I messed it up so quickly. BUT…if he can’t get over this, then do I really need a man who will hold onto this?
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
12:02 pm
Mama would said “I don’t know anything you’re talking about, stop saying “you know!”
Our mamas may be related. My mama used to say “No, I don’t know so I’m waiting on you to tell me” After her interrupting whatever I was trying to say fifty leven times, I was done with saying “You know”
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
12:06 pm
Lady – Thanks and yes, so true. From within. She’s gotta strap herself up and it all starts with overcoming in the mind.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
12:06 pm
Exactly, Comon!
disco
August 27th, 2012
12:07 pm
bluz – later for their whack advice. here’s what you do. get dressed in your flyest retro, throw back gear, get a karaoke machine and get your serenade on. you can sing Jackson 5. “oh baby, give me one more chance (to show you that I love you)… oh baby, all I need is one more chance” if that song doesn’t work we can give you a list of begging songs. lol.
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
12:07 pm
slim…see my 10:17 on page 1…
Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
12:08 pm
LOL disco!!! Again…thanks for the laugh!!!
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
12:10 pm
Bluzy – At least you’re admitting you’re digging him. Don’t text him anything anymore. Leave it be….at least for now. I know you’re not totally….so that’s why I said at least for now. Pull yourself together and give it a couple of days.
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
12:11 pm
LOLOLOLOLOL….just saw disco’s 12:07….well there’s always that alternative.
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 27th, 2012
12:11 pm
yep later for it………..join them Bluz and be happily ever after~
Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
12:15 pm
What about tonight, though? Is it a bad idea for me to go and hang out with my friends anyway? Who knows…he may just pop up at my house. Of course, he’ll be waiting cause I’ll be home about 45 minutes later due to my therapy appointment.
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
12:16 pm
disco~ Is this some of that reverse psychology stuff? You’re hoping that if we tell her wrong, her unwillingness to follow our advice will lead her down the path of right?
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
12:18 pm
Who knows…he may just pop up at my house.
Where dey do that at? Show up without calling first? C is right, y’all are WAY past FWB and aboviously have been from jump if buddy is comfy like that already… IJS
Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
12:18 pm
Cel – I really am digging him…and it scares me. I know he was digging me too. He actually paid at the first place we went to Fri night! I got us in to the second place for free…
disco
August 27th, 2012
12:18 pm
bluz – you are your own worst enemy. I can’t speak for the rest of the blog peeps but you make me tired.
CC – reverse psychology wouldn’t work on bluz because she’s always claiming both sides anyway. who used to sing “you got me going in circles”? bluz is definitely going in circles.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
12:19 pm
What about tonight, though? Is it a bad idea for me to go and hang out with my friends anyway? Who knows…he may just pop up at my house. Of course, he’ll be waiting cause I’ll be home about 45 minutes later due to my therapy appointment.
You’re kidding right???? I think you’re going through a brain synapse. Someone, anyone, please call 911.
Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
12:19 pm
CC – I don’t know if he will do that without calling or texting first. I kept hoping he would just show up this weekend at some point. We are definitely past FWB…I mean, it was just Tues that he said we are “dating”. If we are dating, then why just blow me off without talking to me? At least tell me exactly why you’re upset with me.
Celiseaaa.....Choir girl (ha ha) with a twist of mmmmm!!
August 27th, 2012
12:20 pm
Bluzy – That’s why I believe just back off….all the way for awhile. If he likes you and wants to see something come of it, he’ll come back.
Like a VERY GOOD FRIEND just told me last week, “anyone ever told you you think too much” You’re overthinking at this point. Relax and go on about your day. If he shows up, great if not, do your thing anyway.
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
12:21 pm
Where Mary J at?!?
Someone please call 911. Tell them I just got shot down…
disco
August 27th, 2012
12:21 pm
I was pondering a career change. bluz – how much does your therapist charge? I’ve never been a big proponent of counseling and therapy but sounds like there is beaucoup bucks to be made. of course, your therapist probably needs therapy after your sessions. I can just see the therapist going to the therapist across the hall talking about your session. he’s not making money off of you. he’s breaking even. lol
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
12:23 pm
Bluz ~ I got it! Did you do a “Snooki” move and show your crotch while being sloppy drunk????
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
12:26 pm
Bluz~ Do you use State Farm? You can do that “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there! With a breathalyzer to see if I should be cut off!”
Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
12:27 pm
Cel…yes, I am overthinking it. I tend to do that…
Leggs…NO. LOL! I had jeans on, so not crotch shots!!! I’m kind of wondering if he is a little ticked because he was ready to go and I got the band to play my favorite song and I got up on stage to dance and they played a very extended version. Then, when I got off stage, an old man grabbed me to dance and I danced a few minutes with him. I don’t think Magnum liked me keeping him out longer than he wanted to be out…
Oh well…ce la vie (or however you spell it)
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
12:28 pm
I can just see the therapist going to the therapist across the hall talking about your session. he’s not making money off of you. he’s breaking even. lol
Actually, he’s not even breaking even anymore. I heard he was admitted to Charter this morning and another therapist will be covering Bluz’s session today…
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
12:29 pm
ce la vie
c’est la vie. (For future reference
) I think you are going to have to learn that phrase very well before it’s all over…
Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
12:31 pm
I tell you…I’m exhausted thinking about therapy today. I don’t think the 45 minutes will be enough! I don’t even want to tell my therapist everything I did. It’s one thing to be honest with ya’ll…I don’t have to look ya’ll in the face. I think I need to focus a little on why I unintentially sabotage potential good things…
Bluzgirl...needs to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
12:31 pm
CC – I should have known that! The song is one of my favorites! I’m just a little worn out this morning!