Dating multiple people: For or against
I don’t know why some women are so opposed to dating multiple people. We can multitask almost everything in our lives, but men? We hesitate to do so! I am sure everyone has their reasons, but I wonder is dating multiple people the best way to meet The One?
Almost all my guy friends are seeing a cadre of women – fascinating women, too. They are upfront with everyone they date and tell me that they make no false promises. Why does it seem so easy for them to do it?
I know men and women view dating and relationships differently. This is yet another example of how we have vastly different ideas on dating and looking for the one special “forever” person.
Let’s argue both sides today:
If you are in favor of dating multiple people, state the reasons why. Have you tried it personally? Why do you think it was easy or not easy for you?
If you are strongly opposed to the idea, state why you think it is a recipe for disaster. Have you tried it and got a lot of drama and backlash?
I am curious to see how where we all stand on this dating issue.
For the record: I am opposed to it – but it is basically because I am way too lazy/busy to devote a lot of energy to more than one guy at a time. Hey! At least I am honest! 
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
486 comments Add your comment
SlimUno
August 27th, 2012
10:20 am
Who says you have to have teeth to party? Teeth probably just wear you down anyway
disco
August 27th, 2012
10:21 am
bluz – maybe you should practice drinking at home. lol. later for all those folks who say you shouldn’t drink alone. at least alone there are no witnesses to sloppy behavior and if you keep good notes as you go along you might be able to better recognize your cutoff. of course, I’m joking. this isn’t legitimate advice. still, as a lover of spirits myself, I can’t have you going out giving alcohol a bad name.
i'm swiss
August 27th, 2012
10:22 am
Morning, folks. Hope everyone had a good weekend.
Bluz — Somehow I don’t think you have an alcohol problem. I think you have a drama problem. I honestly don’t think you would know what to do without some sort of drama in your life. Of course, I can only base that on what I read here, so I could be totally wrong, but that’s the impression I get.
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
10:26 am
Somehow I don’t think you have an alcohol problem. I think you have a drama problem. I honestly don’t think you would know what to do without some sort of drama in your life
Even with the short amount of time I have been here, I have to agree with swiss. You strike me as one of those people who creates drama (perhaps subconciously) when there is none because you don’t know how to relax and just enjoy the drama free moment.
Do you really think it is wise to go to his event tonight with the way things have gone down? Tat seems like it would be more stressful and drama filled if you haven’t resolved it before you see each other tonight.
Bluzgirl...on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
10:26 am
swiss…I hate drama, but somehow, I tend to create it at times. I wouldn’t say I necessarily have an alcohol problem, just a binge drinking problem! I haven’t drank liquor like that in a while and the bartenders were feeding me shots and made my drinks with lots of rum and a splash of coke!
Trust me…I know that I looked a hot mess at home. I’m pretty sure I was ok at the bar and didn’t embarrass anyone. Ugh!!! Like a good friend (who is an alcoholic) told me…nothing good comes from drinking!
Bluzgirl...on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
10:28 am
CC – I’m really hoping something get resolves before tonight. The thing is…I set up this jam for him. My friend is the one who books it. I have a few friends who will be there. I’ve been planning on going for a while. I even took a half day off tomorrow so that I could stay the whole time. Part of me says not to go, but I really want to. If we don’t speak before tonight, I will leave him be and let him approach me. I don’t want to cause any drama. I do want to show him that I can have a good time on just diet coke!
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:34 am
“Alcohol is not my friend and that’s why I’m taking a break from it. Although, I am going to Charleston to visit my best friend this weekend, so I may drink some, but not much” – Sorry, but SlimUno was right, you’re always talking in opposites.
Bluzgirl...on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
10:35 am
I may decide to refrain while in Charleston also. Vacation is different to me!
SlimUno
August 27th, 2012
10:36 am
swiss has a really good point…I mean dang, yall couldn’t even make it a whole weekend without something popping off and you right in the middle of it.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:36 am
SlimUno ~ that was my laugh for the day thus far. Perhaps his dental plan hadn’t kicked in yet and he couldn’t get new dentures. Damn, no teef….
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:37 am
Must admit, I thought if we were to kiss, he would probably gum my upper lip!
i'm swiss
August 27th, 2012
10:40 am
Leggs — Forget the upper lip, just think what Gummy could have done to your lower lips…
disco
August 27th, 2012
10:40 am
leggs – nnnnn. you mean to say that you were entertaining the idea of kissing the toothless man? what? he must have really been getting his wobble on? lol.
SlimUno
August 27th, 2012
10:40 am
If alcohol isn’t your friend then being on vacation consuming it isn’t going to make yall friends again. Feel Me (channeling Lil Scrappy) lol
Leggs – Whatever she says, just flip it and you’ll have the real deal.
Into the Light
August 27th, 2012
10:41 am
smh @ Bluz. I am inclined to agree with the others. I think, at least on some level, misery is your comfort zone. It’s almost like you are afraid to allow yourself to be happy, so you sabotage yourself (and your relationships with others). You say you want happiness, yet your actions are completely juxtaposed.
Love ya, Bluz, but girl…..
Into the Light
August 27th, 2012
10:42 am
Leggs: You considered kissing Gummy McGee??? Honey chile, there ain’t a dry spell long enough….. IJS…..
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:44 am
Bluz, change your moniker…your behind is not on the wagon. You’re sitting behind it sneaking moonshine. Hell, you just said you’ll have some drinks this weekend while visiting your friend.
disco
August 27th, 2012
10:46 am
slim – I’m not sure flipping whatever she says is the answer since she usually plays both hands. the girl talks in circles all day long.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:46 am
OMG!
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:47 am
disco ~ no, I wasn’t entertaining the idea. Was just wondering how toothless people kiss. What does that feel like???
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
10:48 am
swiss~ You beat me to the punch! I was thinking the same thing.
Slim/Leggs~ Like y’all told me when I first came, good luck with changing her mind on this. She is gonna get to Charleston and her friend is gonna be drinking and all you’ll see is a dust trail as her wagon heads down the road.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:49 am
SlimUno ~ did you hear Scrappy on the radio this morning? It’s rare for me to listen to V103, but I had it on for about 7.5 mins. He must have said “you feel me” 20x
Bluzgirl...on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
10:50 am
Yes…I agree that some ITL…I’ve always been one that gets scared with a hint of happiness and without meaning to, I find some way to sabotage. Maybe I should just be honest and tell him that? He does know about my mental issues…
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:50 am
FOR THE RECORD….I wasn’t thinking about kissing him. The thought popped in my head as to how toothless people kiss with hard gums.
disco
August 27th, 2012
10:50 am
I’ve wondered a lot of things but never how toothless people kiss. now that you mention it though. i guess i do wonder. seems like there would be a lot of empty space.
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
10:50 am
O/T~ Do you know where that phrase comes from? “On the wagon”?
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
10:51 am
seems like there would be a lot of empty space
And that it would be wet and mushy… Ewwww…
i'm swiss
August 27th, 2012
10:51 am
Bluz reminds me of “The Bold & The Beautiful.” My mom used to watch that show every day. When I was home from school in the summers, I’d be subjected to part of the show while eating lunch. Same freaking story every day. Dude loves the blonde b!tch. No, wait, dude loves the brunette b!tch. No, wait… Every day. Same sh!t. Fast forward to today. Mrs. Swiss also watches that show. Tivo’s it every day. Twenty years later and it’s still… The same. Freaking. Story. Every. Single. Day. Now they’ve just recruited the next generation of dude/blondie/brunette to carry on the same stupid story now that the originals are wearing Depends, but it’s still the same thing. Every day. Over and over and over again.
disco
August 27th, 2012
10:52 am
CC – you weren’t here for this one but OR she’ll be on the way back from Charleston and magnum will call and announce his engagement to someone else. we would get a lot of miles out of that one. all of a sudden, a clown doesn’t seem so bad. lol.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:53 am
disco ~ hush. He was standing in front of me and I’m trying to see if he had any teeth. After a while, the thought popped in my head.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:55 am
disco ~ ssshhhh, I thought we put the clown to rest.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
10:56 am
I so feel you, swiss (lol).
disco
August 27th, 2012
10:56 am
well, hell. I don’t remember the details (other than he was a clown) but what was wrong with the clown (other than he was a clown)? was he a homeless clown? a drunk clown? a wishy washy clown? anyone remember what was up with the clown?
Bluzgirl...on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
10:58 am
The clown was creepy. And disco…you wrong for that! LOL
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
11:01 am
Wasn’t the clown a midget clown?
The clown only became creepy after you no longer wanted anything from him, Bluz. He felt you were leading him on and you were at that moment.
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
11:02 am
Was he a real clown?
Or are we using that therm figuratively?
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
11:03 am
He was short, but not a midget. He was just really creepy…
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
11:03 am
FYI~ “On the waon” comes from the same place as “One for the road” and “Fell off the wagon” Any takers?
disco
August 27th, 2012
11:03 am
but bluz – didn’t you go out with the clown while he was in full clown gear? did you ever go out with him in his “civilian” clothes? give a clown a chance. okay. I’m done with the clown.
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
11:05 am
CC – he was a real clown (not in makeup and all, but doing magic and baloon animals, etc)…it was a lapse in judgement and I gave him a ride home and kissed him a few times. He got creepy!!!
Into the Light
August 27th, 2012
11:05 am
I thought the problem with the clown was that he would never drive on their dates because he always had a car load of friends with him. That and big floppy shoes…..weren’t you scared you’d trip over those shoes in the dark, Bluz?
LOLOL J/K J/K
@Leggs: So, don’t leave us hanging – did he have teeth or not?!??!
i'm swiss
August 27th, 2012
11:07 am
Bluz — If you won’t listen to us, listen to Yoda.
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
11:08 am
OMG! I needed the laughs this morning! That darn clown…
Bluzgirl...trying to be on the wagon...
August 27th, 2012
11:08 am
LOL swiss…
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
11:08 am
Bluz~ OMG! I might have hired him for one of little Cents’ birthday parties!
Too funny! Did you honk his nose after kissing him? Sidebar~ I find clowns really creepy in general. It’s one of the reasons I never take my kids to the circus. ****Shiver!****
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
11:09 am
Comon ~ a real clown.
ITL ~ I don’t really know. From how he talked and the upper lip curled under, my only conclusion based on what I’ve seen is he didn’t have any teeth. To be honest, I had to catch myself because I almost asked “where’s your teeth?” I knew that wouldn’t be classy, so I refrained. It wasn’t easy.
Comon Cents
August 27th, 2012
11:09 am
Bluz is channeling Jamie Foxx this morning; “Fall For Your Type” LMAO!
Into the Light
August 27th, 2012
11:10 am
I’ve always been one that gets scared with a hint of happiness and without meaning to, I find some way to sabotage. Maybe I should just be honest and tell him that? He does know about my mental issues…
Honesty is good, Bluz. I’d be cautious, though, because anything you say right now is going to come out sounding like an excuse.
Now, for some honesty for you….I think you use your mental issues as a crutch. When things get difficult, you sabotage yourself or a relationship and throw your hands up and say, “it’s my disorder! he knew I had issues.” Yep, he probably did. But nobody is going to stick it out forever unless you are trying to help yourself and affect real change. Not trying to be harsh, but you are stuck in a cycle, and everyone can see it but you.
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
11:11 am
Comon ~ Bluz was out one evening feeling down about something. This clown was in town and they struck up a convo with one another. He seemed interesting to her and fed her damaged ego that evening. After a few beers he was looking more and more attractive and sexy to her. You know how those beer goggles work….
Leggs
August 27th, 2012
11:12 am
To be honest, Bluz, I thought he was a dwarf?