accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Play or get played

There are a lot of cynics on the dating scene. Heck, I admit that I was mayor of Bitterville a couple of times. It’s hard not to become at least a little protective of our egos, hearts, and emotions.

I met a really great guy the other day at the recycling center at DeKalb’s Farmer’s Market. We had the most random chat about Atlanta and dating. He was of the mindset that you have to play the dating game – at least a little. If not, you could find yourself being used and abused, even when your intentions are good.

It sounded a little cynical to me, so I asked him when did this attitude about women and relationships come about. He launched into a really awful account of his last girlfriend who played really dirty dating games with him. Of course he is gun shy!

Do you think that a lot of single people think this way? Are we slow to trust the intentions of others? Do we question their motives too much?

If we are all thinking that we have to play or get played, then who is winning?!

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

404 comments Add your comment

Into the Light

August 24th, 2012
9:50 am

Why no, CC, I hadn’t heard that…..

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

August 24th, 2012
9:50 am

@Slim

You know me and you always good.

Just offering clarification.

Comon Cents

August 24th, 2012
9:51 am

Yeah, The one guy who knew the recipe graduated…

Into the Light - Take Your Bullying Somewhere Else; I'm Over It!

August 24th, 2012
9:53 am

Enter your comments here

DreamsMaterialize

August 24th, 2012
9:54 am

Dang all the blog dudes are out the game. I guess I’ll be the lone bachelor. Someone has to hold it down. ;-)

Into the Light - Take Your Bullying Somewhere Else; I'm Over It!

August 24th, 2012
9:54 am

LOL! Good one, CC!!

Did you hear about the guy in Alabama who froze to death at the drive-in??

He went to see “Closed for the Winter”

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
9:55 am

Speaking of robes, I met up with one of my good friends earlier this week and she brought me a silky long jacket to use for my next Wild Wardrobe surprise for the beau. (whenever that will be) Now that’s what I call a friend because I didn’t even ask her about it. lol

Leggs

August 24th, 2012
9:55 am

BF ~ I’ll play.

Lady, HST is about to pop the question. He flew his love interest back home from Russia. They’re probably holed up in his house like teenagers in heat.

Comon Cents

August 24th, 2012
9:56 am

LOL! I like it!

You know what students from Alabama call students from UGA?

Boss!

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
9:56 am

Started by jealous people, just wish yall was as good as Alabama (LOL)

Into the Light - Take Your Bullying Somewhere Else; I'm Over It!

August 24th, 2012
9:58 am

Is that all you got, Stamps??? Psssht. :)

So, in an effort to understand others better, I was doing some research this morning and came across the following valuable information about people who attempt to control and bully others:

•Seems to derive satisfaction or pleasure from others’ fear, discomfort, or pain
•Seems overly concerned with others “disrespecting” him or her; equates respect with fear
•Expects to be “misunderstood,” “disrespected,” and picked on; attacks before he or she can be attacked
•Interprets ambiguous or innocent acts as purposeful and hostile; uses these as excuses to strike out at others verbally or physically
•Seems to have little or no empathy or compassion for others (Olweus, 1993)
•Seems unable or unwilling to see things from another person’s perspective
•Seems willing to use and abuse other people to get what he or she wants
•Defends his or her negative actions by insisting that others “deserve it,” “asked for it,” or “provoked it”; often describes a conflict as someone else’s “fault”
•Is good at hiding negative behaviors or doing them where others cannot see them

Interesting reading……

Leggs

August 24th, 2012
9:59 am

ITL ~ didn’t you already know all of that (lol).

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
10:00 am

Wow Leggs if you could see how large my eyes got reading that update!!!! GO HST!!!! Thx sis~ ;)

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
10:01 am

ITL, yea that’s all I got, it’s hard to joke about, when everything there is a joke, it’s just not funny anymore :-D

disco

August 24th, 2012
10:01 am

ITL – you know by now that my brain is warped and goes off on these tangents. re respect and fear I think of Bronx tale when sonny and C (colojero – sp?) are walking and C asks if he’d rather be feared or respected.

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
10:01 am

did you know that the name is derived from an old Indian term??? Yeah….it means “up on blocks!!!!”

ITL – That just may have been the best one i’ve heard in a long time…and I’m from Alabama :lol:

Comon Cents

August 24th, 2012
10:02 am

HST is having his Yin Yang “Whisper Song” moment…

I beat the puddy up, beath the puddy up!
Wait til you see my…

:lol: Daaaammmmnnnn!!!

Into the Light - Take Your Bullying Somewhere Else; I'm Over It!

August 24th, 2012
10:03 am

@Leggs: Most of them I knew…at least on some level. But like Steven Covey said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” I thought if I understood the motivation behind the behavior better, I could transform my anger and frustration into compassion. Because really, bullying is pathetic and the people who exhibit bullying behavior are to be pitied.

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
10:04 am

So we’ll need some good dating game questions…

Comon Cents

August 24th, 2012
10:05 am

bullying is pathetic and the people who exhibit bullying behavior are to be pitied.

We should definitely pity beat them

Into the Light - Take Your Bullying Somewhere Else; I'm Over It!

August 24th, 2012
10:05 am

LOL@Slim.

So, what’s the answer disco? Would you rather be feared or respected? Bloggers, what say you?

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
10:05 am

Who wants to be Chuck Woolery? :lol:

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
10:07 am

Slim now thinking she acutally used to watch Hollywood Squares

Leggs

August 24th, 2012
10:08 am

Respected…

Leggs

August 24th, 2012
10:08 am

Once they respect you, they already fear you.

disco

August 24th, 2012
10:11 am

ITL – in general I’d have to answer respect but I also recognize that fear most definitely has its place. sometimes folks will ignore respect for a little while figuring they can make it up to you later. fear seems to have a stronger hold on some folks.

Into the Light - Take Your Bullying Somewhere Else; I'm Over It!

August 24th, 2012
10:13 am

I’d have to go with respect, too!

Oh, Slim…Hollywood Squares. Maybe we should play that.

Comon Cents

August 24th, 2012
10:14 am

Slim~

If you were on a deserted island and could only have three things in your pocket, what would they be and why?

If you were ice cream, what flavor would you be?

Let’s hear your best ending for this sentence “I’ll do anything for you except…”

Into the Light - Take Your Bullying Somewhere Else; I'm Over It!

August 24th, 2012
10:20 am

Oh wait!! I know what game we could play. Match Game! That would be hilarious. And easy. All we need are 6 bloggers, 2 contestants, and a host who can read the “Dumb Dora was so dumb…..” questions.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
10:21 am

who is bullying who?!? did I miss something?!? #curious

disco

August 24th, 2012
10:23 am

CC – wasn’t that a song? I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.

in defense of fear over respect. I have to admit that I did wrong countless times where respect wasn’t enough to keep me from doing wrong. I also admit that I resisted wrong plenty of times more out of fear of consequences and repercussions than respect. like I said, if you have a momentary lapse with respect you can make it up later. lol

Celisea......please get your belly rubbed...please....O Son of Belial

August 24th, 2012
10:24 am

WOW, I pop back and the room has cleared…

Lady – Wudn’t me…lol Seems like there’s a pink elephant though in the room. Can’t say it was me this time :mrgreen:

Celisea......please get your belly rubbed...please....O Son of Belial

August 24th, 2012
10:24 am

Back to my spreadhsheet….logging off again :mrgreen:

Celisea......please get your belly rubbed...please....O Son of Belial

August 24th, 2012
10:26 am

I’m aiming at less blog time as possible. My work is slipping :oops:

Comon Cents

August 24th, 2012
10:27 am

wasn’t that a song? I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that

Yup. Meatloaf. I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that and then he never tells you what “that” is… SMDH

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
10:27 am

yeah back to work a bit too…I can’t keep up seems~ lol pay me no mind~ #typical

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
10:27 am

CC – If I were on a deserted island and was only able to have 3 pockets items, I would definitely have to have a cocoa butter stick because I can’t stand to have dry lips! I’d need a swiss army knife and a lighter.

If I were an ice cream flavor I’d be Neapolitan because I definitely can appease any taste ;-)

I’ll do anything for you except let you and 2 or more of your friends run a train on me. :D

Celisea......please get your belly rubbed...please....O Son of Belial

August 24th, 2012
10:28 am

Lady – Me either. I’m just working on staying out of the line of blog fire…lololol

toodles for now :mrgreen:

Into the Light - Take Your Bullying Somewhere Else; I'm Over It!

August 24th, 2012
10:29 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

The hit dog will always holler first.

Celisea......please get your belly rubbed...please....O Son of Belial

August 24th, 2012
10:30 am

Ut oh Lady, seems you spoke first…lol

Let me get off this thing. I’m getting paid to work

Into the Light - Take Your Bullying Somewhere Else; I'm Over It!

August 24th, 2012
10:31 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

And let’s not forget they run in packs….

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
10:33 am

roof~ lol too damn funny!!!!! yeah most hit dogs will holler 1st good one~ lol

okay the blog bar is open Texas Margarita please y’all shot of patron too! its friday! :-)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
10:34 am

roll in packs?~ wow sigh lol

Leggs

August 24th, 2012
10:34 am

That is funny, ITL.

Into the Light - No Time for the Jr. High Nonsense

August 24th, 2012
10:35 am

:) @ Leggs.

@Lady: If the blog bar is open, I’ll take a bloody mary, extra spicy.

Comon Cents

August 24th, 2012
10:38 am

I’ll do anything for you except let you and 2 or more of your friends run a train on me

So, im plus one is cool? :lol: :lol: I kid, I kid… (unless ya gone do it…)

Bluzgirl

August 24th, 2012
10:39 am

Ugh…another busy day and may not be on the blog much. Gotta leave at 12:20 to head to Lithonia for work. Yuck!!!

Into the Light - No Time for the Jr. High Nonsense

August 24th, 2012
10:41 am

I understand, Bluz. I’ve been working on this report for two days and still haven’t finished. Gotta get busy….

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
10:42 am

Comon Cents

August 24th, 2012
10:42 am

Leggs~ Dating game round 2…

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, what animal would it be and why?

If he’s the tooth fairy, and you caught him in your room at night what wouls you say?

My best feature is my ________ because __________.