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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Play or get played

There are a lot of cynics on the dating scene. Heck, I admit that I was mayor of Bitterville a couple of times. It’s hard not to become at least a little protective of our egos, hearts, and emotions.

I met a really great guy the other day at the recycling center at DeKalb’s Farmer’s Market. We had the most random chat about Atlanta and dating. He was of the mindset that you have to play the dating game – at least a little. If not, you could find yourself being used and abused, even when your intentions are good.

It sounded a little cynical to me, so I asked him when did this attitude about women and relationships come about. He launched into a really awful account of his last girlfriend who played really dirty dating games with him. Of course he is gun shy!

Do you think that a lot of single people think this way? Are we slow to trust the intentions of others? Do we question their motives too much?

If we are all thinking that we have to play or get played, then who is winning?!

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

404 comments Add your comment

i'm swiss

August 24th, 2012
5:35 am

FIRST! BOOM!

S_ck it, Lily! :lol: (just kidding, of course)

Lily

August 24th, 2012
6:15 am

Neither for me! No one wins as long as games are being played.

@i’m swiss, yikes! So I have to watch for Exiled and you now?! Fierce competition so early (lol)?

i'm swiss

August 24th, 2012
6:18 am

Lily — See, what’s an early morning for you is a late night for me. ;-)

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
7:26 am

When I want to play games I pull out the PSP, PS3, or computer. Haven’t seen the dating game on any of those.

i'm swiss

August 24th, 2012
7:33 am

S/H — It’d be kinda cool if they had dating games for Kinect. All sorts of possibilities there…

Lily

August 24th, 2012
7:35 am

@i’m swiss, there goes my favorite saying: the early bird catches the worm. lol

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
7:35 am

Swiss, naw then they would move on to the marriage game, then we really would be going crazy (LOL)

Exiled!

August 24th, 2012
7:49 am

You guys are waay too early. I’m not surprised Swiss got in,he likes the back door,early morning opening…he he he…

On topic: I am a little surprised by Diva’s topic and analysis. First of what do u mean by ‘games’? And if ‘games’ means cheating how is the guy a ‘great’ guy?

Unless it’s a question of two playas getting a random encounter at Dekalb Farmers Market and get to compare notes about how they play the ‘game’ in Atlanta. Maybe one play talking and the other jotting her notes? Hmmmm mm.

Meeeelo Overthinking ?

Good morning!

I am so tired!

Exiled!

August 24th, 2012
7:50 am

Player talking

Into the Light with improved, D-Con pest-control robes. Shoo, you pathetic bug....shoo.

August 24th, 2012
7:56 am

Morning, all and Happy Friday!

Ooooh, The Dating Game. Talk about back in the day. I think Burt Reynolds was even a guest on there once…..

Maybe if it gets slow today, we could play the blog dating game. Of course, we might have a hard time finding 3 bachelors since most of the guys are married. But we could do 3 bachelorettes.

@Swiss – I think you would be an excellent host. :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2012
8:01 am

I don’t know a lot of cynical people although I understand being cautious. Going into a relationship with the attitude how can I win/gain financially or material assets means nobody wins. If you play I’m not judging you that’s your business just be honest to your self and realize every game played has an ending..

Good Morning:

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
8:04 am

Good early morning folks….so this is the breakfast club huh?

I’m with Ex for a change….what do you mean by ‘games’ and what examples did he provide…what did the ex do him that has him ‘gun shy’? And Whenever you ask a question about “EVERYONE” then you know the answer will be no, duh!!!

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
8:07 am

BF – The only things I would hope to ‘win’ or gain in going into a relationship is unconditional love, understanding, support and a best friend ;-)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
8:15 am

MIA is poppin’ this early Friday morning!!!!!!! Happy Friday Crew!!! Fun Topic~ let me finish my fruit for breakfast!!! :-)

Into the Light with improved, D-Con pest-control robes. Shoo, you pathetic bug....shoo.

August 24th, 2012
8:17 am

Heeeey, BF! What’s for breakfast? Slim, you hawngry? BF is cookin’. :lol:

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
8:21 am

ITL – I’m not that hungry but for some reason I can’t stop eyeballing Lady’s bowl of fruit :lol:

Into the Light with improved, D-Con pest-control robes. Shoo, you pathetic bug....shoo.

August 24th, 2012
8:25 am

Maybe she’ll share….. :)

I’m hoping BF has some grits ready. I’m feeling chilled this morning….

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
8:26 am

Slim grab some chica!!!!! ;)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2012
8:27 am

Slim1 thank’s for that @8:07 cause like yourself I beleive a large marjority of women feel the same way. If you find a guy on the same playing level as you are he’s an absolute keeper. Men of a certain age don’t have that drive to run all over town trying to juggle two or more women. There are still a few sugar daddy’s out here ready to sponsor and I don’t judge them either.

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
8:33 am

Slim what is unconditional love?? Is there any such animal beyond your children that you have to care for?

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
8:34 am

Thanks for not judging me Black (rotflmao)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2012
8:35 am

Hey Light you want grits? How you like them buttery or cheese flavored? I put some turkey and ground suasage on the grill will be ready shortly.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2012
8:37 am

LOL……..@Single say it aint so.

Into the Light with improved, D-Con pest-control robes. Shoo, you pathetic bug....shoo.

August 24th, 2012
8:37 am

@BF: Just butter, salt, and pepper. :)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
8:37 am

As my boo and I were commuting this morning and conversing about many things I thanked him for not coming with games and the amount of time he invest in our relationship. After being single for a while playing games and being played it feels wonderful to be with someone sharing the same goals for an exclusive relationship. The dating game can make one bitter with the knock outs and blows but I truly believe there is someone for everyone and with time those bitter feelings will fade. Throughout the highs and lows of being single I truly remained hopeful even on my darkest days and trust I had many.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
8:39 am

That is a good question about unconditional love and the dynamics of it~ hmmmmm pondering………

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
8:39 am

SH – There isn’t anyone that I HAVE to care for but for those that are important to me, I CHOOSE to. ;-)
And I mean ‘unconditional’ to mean unchanging….loving me for the person I am: Good, bad, ugly and ‘work in progress’. Not just caring during the good while on top, but also when i’m not that usually bubbly funny chick…need it when I’m hurting, when I’m wrong, when I have my ugly cry going on…Love that has my back. Hope that sheds some light for you. (oh and I don’t have any rugrats yet)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2012
8:40 am

You know the bad part about eating breakfast at 5 in the morning, I’m hungry again. Light I want a bowl of grits now.

Into the Light with improved, D-Con pest-control robes. Shoo, you pathetic bug....shoo.

August 24th, 2012
8:40 am

And I know we were focusing mainly on hip hop yesterday, but I still can’t believe no one (especially me) mentioned Thriller or Purple Rain. Had them both on vinyl, and played the isht out of them.

Into the Light with improved, D-Con pest-control robes. Shoo, you pathetic bug....shoo.

August 24th, 2012
8:42 am

@Slim: Love your 8:39. You said it all, girl.

@BF: I just told a co-worker he needs to make a WaHo run. :lol: :lol:

i'm swiss

August 24th, 2012
8:44 am

Did Slim say she can’t stop eyeballing Lady’s me.lons?

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
8:48 am

swiss – And they are quit delish too :oops:

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

August 24th, 2012
8:48 am

“Games” is code of lack of honesty.

Either the person isn’t being honest with you – or themselves.

Now, ‘DAN’ didn’t just come from nowhere, I played my share of ‘games’ during my time in the skreets, but eventually, (for me) it wore thin.

Even the last….few….women I dated prior to getting married (this includes my wife) there were explicit conversations about what my goals and expectations were. Did these conversations happen right away? No. But once I sorted out how I felt about those ladies, the conversations had to be had.

*Note: by sorted out Dan means deciding how she dealt with me, the world, and those ‘quiet moments’.

Morning folkers!

i'm swiss

August 24th, 2012
8:49 am

In honor of the impending arrival of Little SwissMochaSwirl, here’s a tune to advocate we all f__k each other until everybody’s brown.

“This is not a black and white world
To be alive, I say the colors must be swirled
And I believe that maybe today
We will all get to appreciate
Yes, we will all get to appreciate
The beauty of gray…”

disco

August 24th, 2012
8:49 am

ITL – what are we going to do with 3 bachelorettes and no bachelors? guys, please do not run with that question.

some people are cynical in dating and some people are cynical in general. the whole world is out to get them.

oh. where are my manners? good morning.

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
8:50 am

Slim : hmmm aren’t those conditions??

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

August 24th, 2012
8:50 am

@Slim

Love changes.

It grows, gets deeper, more personal, less abritray, more contrarian, more forgiving and sometimes, it dies altogether.

Make no mistake about it – “Love” changes.

i'm swiss

August 24th, 2012
8:51 am

Slim — They are, indeed. :lol:

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
8:51 am

ITL, Disco!! dang am I invisible over here!!! (LOL)

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

August 24th, 2012
8:52 am

per that 8:46: *code for,

Exiled!

August 24th, 2012
8:53 am

I’m with EX for a change!

u folks,All of U are real funny!

Does EX have two heads? Well,umm,maybe two heads yes but come On…

EX this EX that EX there.

Lemme tell u something Slim….

If i bumped into your officer guy at the strip club or sports bar and we get to talk women….

He thinks exactly like I do!

But u don’t know that yourself Slim.

Coz American men for the most part,are neutered. ( :lol: )

That’s why they don’t wanna get married.

Now Stevie J….that’s Most American black men’s secret idol…

Ratings off the meter I am told..

Stevie J is the man! Lil Scrappy …see…he’s is wannabe! :lol: wannabe like Stevie!

Slim..next time don’t say what u said coz …u hurt my feelings..that’s why I’m ranting ..hurt my feelings Slim

K

Exiled!

August 24th, 2012
8:56 am

I’m just playing with u slim k

Umm a Lil bit :lol:

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 24th, 2012
8:57 am

swiss yous a fool! lmbao!!!!!!!!!!111

disco

August 24th, 2012
8:58 am

S/H – you are not invisible however given the history of blog gents to up and propose to chicks after bouts of separation and your pending journey to visit a certain someone we’ll pull back and wait and see if you spring any news on us after your trip. you might come back and change your moniker to just HAPPY.

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
8:58 am

SH – You’re beginning to sound like For Real…if you all want to break the word and my idea of unconditional down then go right ahead.

Dan – Yes love changes, as almost everything changes but that’s not really what I meant. All in all, I want a genuine love. Is that better?

Ex – What? I hurt your feelings…I didn’t even know you had any. But i’m big enough to express my apologies. I’m not out to hurt, i’m out to love ;-) And to show you i’m for real, I even share some of Lady’s me.lons with you :lol:

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
8:59 am

Disco, not this trip, maybe next one (LOL)

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 24th, 2012
9:02 am

Slim: have heard those word so many times and they are always followed by conditions. Everything we do have conditions to it. We all have conditions that must be meet for us to truly love and support someone. Some even have those conditions on the children once they get grown.

Bluzgirl

August 24th, 2012
9:02 am

I don’t understand what dating games there even are…I sure don’t want to play any games or be played!

I think there is a big difference in being cynical and being careful. I could easily be cynical right now, but instead, I’m choosing to be careful because I’m wounded. Then again, who isn’t wounded?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2012
9:03 am

disco we have some eligible bachelors here. There’s Single, sorry Single I forgot you got a gal in Jamaica and most likely in the states too. Randyt and myself, we can find some more dudes.

SlimUno

August 24th, 2012
9:05 am

SH – Oooook buddy.