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Is inexperience a bad thing?

When you get to be my age *cough*, you go through enough dating misadventures to get a little “wisdom” (see what I did there?) and gain a lot of experience. You figure out what works, what doesn’t. You define what you like and what you absolutely can’t stand. Experience is a good thing. What happens when you don’t have past experiences though?

I was talking to a friend who is seeing a new guy who is a lot younger than she is, which means he has not dated many women. Sometimes, she can tell because of how he reacts and handles certain situations.
Thankfully, she is a patient woman and feels he is worth it.

Do you think that dating someone who has little or no experience is hard? Have you ever been the first love, first relationship, or first lover? Do you feel any pressure?

They say we are the sum of all of our experiences, what happens when our experiences add up to zero??

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

471 comments Add your comment

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
12:26 pm

:oops: Light here it is, this goes on the end of my 12:12 better late than never………LOL

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
12:27 pm

And if you take what’s behind curtian #1 and it’s a bust, you’re gonna get what Bluzy gets on the regular. If you take what’s behind curtain #1 and it turns out y’all can build and overcome,then you gonna get exactly what Swiss’ scenario stated. Not that that’s a bad thing Swiss, I think it’s all good. To chance it or not to chance it….THAT is the question…lol

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
12:29 pm

Thanks Leggs.

Cely umm we were umm just having snacks and and a few drinks. Oh yeah we weeded the yard too…………LOL

disco

August 22nd, 2012
12:29 pm

CC – before you showed up on the scene, I mentioned a friend who went out and bought a (lemon) Mercedes, followed by a (lemon) jaguar. said jaguar is out of commission now and she can’t afford to fix it. I digress. I discouraged both purchases on the premise that a person shouldn’t have a luxury car if they 1) have a food stamp card in their purse and 2) are still buying gas $10 at a time.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
12:30 pm

Blackfoote – LOLOLOL….okaaaay then, if you say so. Y’all was weeding the yard after dark? At 1:00 am? Mmm hmmm, I believe you though…lol

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
12:30 pm

Blackfoote – Was it scooby snacks?

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
12:32 pm

Lord Jesus why can’t things EVER be simple to one of my partners here??? There’s ALWAYS “a list” of things when really, it’s not that complicated.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
12:34 pm

LOL……@Cely

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
12:36 pm

I discouraged both purchases on the premise that a person shouldn’t have a luxury car if they 1) have a food stamp card in their purse and 2) are still buying gas $10 at a time.

Damn, disco. Sounds like she couldn’t even afford an Elantra. :lol:

I always love when I see the chick at the grocery store pay for her crap with food stmps and then go outside and hop in her brand new luxury SUV while texting on her iPhone and drive off to the liquor store. Hmmm… Warms my heart.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
12:36 pm

disco you are full of jokes today……..LOL

disco

August 22nd, 2012
12:39 pm

CC – she can’t but you can’t tell grown folks nothing. we’ve been friends since childhood so I don’t mince words with her. when I told her she was buying more than she could afford I mentioned having bought my son a little ford focus. her exact words were “I’m not driving a focus”. right now, she’s not driving anything. sucks to be her.

BF – what part was a joke?

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
12:39 pm

I sure hope I find a “swiss”! You never know until you get it a chance. That’s what I’m trying to make my mom understand! :-)

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
12:40 pm

Bluzy – Go ahead and see what’s behind curtain #1…lol :) :)

Alright folks, until later (today).

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
12:40 pm

“give” it a chance…

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
12:41 pm

Disco, I have a pickup, and put 10 in the tank once because it said 0 miles to empty, and it still said 0 miles to empty (LOL) and before yall start calling me cheap I only put that much in becauese I was leaving it at the college park Marta station for a week, and will not do that with a full tank if I can help it. (LOL)

C, could blackfootes weeding the yard be like my friends in Jamaica’s “weeding” the yard (LOL) IE: you want some weed, go out in the yard and get it (LOL)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
12:41 pm

Comon I’ve see it too a man pull out the food card getting into a Mercedes 550 roll on down the road like he’s Mr. Big.

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
12:43 pm

LOL@BF. I can give you an emoticon do-over every now and then. Shoot, mine didn’t turn out right the other day bc I had caps lock on. Who knew????

Awwww, Swissykins, that’s a nice story. :)

Car, schmar. Who cares what you drive? Now, I’m not meeting you at the QT so we can sit in my car and talk, but I’m not judging you on what you drive.

disco

August 22nd, 2012
12:45 pm

S/H – the entire time my son was in college he operated on a budget of $20 at a time. I still giggle thinking about it. he only put gas in his car $20 at a time. he bought items for his apartment $20 at a time. he replenished his wardrobe $20 at a time. you get the picture. his thing was, he didn’t have much (worked part-time retail) but he could do a little bit at a time with what he did have. I get that. still, my friend’s situation is totally different. she’s most definitely perpetrating a fraud, out there trying to floss and ain’t fooling or impressing anyone. she’s too old for that mess but like I said, you can’t tell grown folks nothing.

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
12:45 pm

Comon, Black, please tell me these people you saw with these food cards were after some natural disaster?

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
12:46 pm

@CC/BF: We’ve all seen it. I was behind a group of folks dressed to the nines in designer clothes, paying with the EBT, went out to the shiny new Escalade had to move the golf clubs out of the back to fit all the groceries.

But you know what? I don’t know their story, only what I assumed was their story. Shoot, maybe rich auntie came to visit and brought them clothes and drove them to the store. You never know….

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
12:47 pm

Disco, so we’re back to Mondays topic, about being competitive. We do live in a time where people are always trying to impress.

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
12:48 pm

Okay, I’m off to get lunch since BF neglected to deliver my pork chops. :(

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
12:48 pm

S/H~ I can tell you that if it will make you feel better, but I would be lying…

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
12:50 pm

But you know what? I don’t know their story, only what I assumed was their story. Shoot, maybe rich auntie came to visit and brought them clothes and drove them to the store. You never know….

Damn! There sure are a lot of rich relatives in town then! :roll:

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
12:50 pm

okay Comon ,I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt (LOL)

disco

August 22nd, 2012
12:51 pm

re food stamps and luxury cars. could be their card or they could be buying stamps off of someone. I’ve got a friend. he and his wife live in a paid for house and drive paid for acuras. they also buy food stamps from their niece every month.

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
12:51 pm

ITL~ I kid, I kid… sorta. :lol:

But on the real, I have seen that story WAY too often for there not to be some serious fraud going on…

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
12:52 pm

I try not to judge people by their car. Even if it’s a little beat up, I know some people hang onto them because they’re paid for. I’m one who has had a car payment since 1999…I get close and decide to upgrade! My ex had a BMW, but it was old and not in great shape. He was so proud of it and I was like…dude, look at it. Just because it’s a BMW doesn’t make you all that! Magnum has a work truck that is paid off. It’s not in great shape, but not in bad shape. It’s a huge truck. I don’t blame him for keeping it because it’s paid off and it still runs well. Now…pick me up in a pinto and I might run!!!

kimmie

August 22nd, 2012
12:53 pm

I’ve never judged a guy on WHAT he drove. I just required that he drove something, had some kind of transportation. We don’t live in NYC. Even if you take Marta to work, you should have some kind of puddle jumper to hang out in over the weekends. Over age 25, you need to get it together. Judge all you want. You should want better for yourself, not just to date.

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
12:54 pm

Now…I do have a friend on food stamps who is currently unemployed. She is trying to do whatever she can to get cash for things she can’t buy on the card. She sold her friend $100 on the card for $80 cash. Now, her friend is very well off and drives a convertable BMW, so people may look at her and judge. She’s just helping out a friend…

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
12:56 pm

kimmie…I am with you on there. No grown men without a car!!!

disco

August 22nd, 2012
12:56 pm

bluz – the “other” friend got played. food stamps typically go for 50 cents on the dollar. lol.

Celisea

August 22nd, 2012
12:58 pm

There are far worse things than peoples living situations where you’re no doubt erroneously passing judgment. Worry about what’s on the inside of you, how you operate and what you do.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
12:58 pm

Light I wont let you down again the next dinner I will personally deliver.

Single the dude was in line purchasing other folks items with the card while they gave him the money.

i'm swiss

August 22nd, 2012
12:59 pm

Just to make sure the point of my story didn’t get lost there… It’s not like I was a hobo when I met Mrs. Swiss & magically turned into a gainfully employed dude with his sh! together from her influence. I already had the education, and the good job, making good money, with the potential and ambition for even better jobs. But I drove a Honda Civic & lived in a modest townhouse because that was what I could comfortably afford when I got my first job out of college. The car still ran just fine, so there was no need to change it. The house was plenty of space for me, so there was no need to trade up while I was still single. Some people would look at that and assume that I didn’t have much going for me. What Mrs. Swiss was smart enough to see was that because I had no car payment and a tiny mortgage, I could save a lot of money. :)

Celisea

August 22nd, 2012
12:59 pm

I’m always happy happy happy, I don’t answer to people and the nasty element of judging they live in.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 22nd, 2012
1:01 pm

C simply amazing~ A beautiful mind!

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
1:01 pm

disco…she is a very good friend, so she was willing to pay 80% instead of 50%. I’ve done the 50% in the past with her to help her out…She get’s $200 each month on her card and she’s a single woman, who doesn’t spend that much.

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
1:02 pm

Disco, if you’re trying to help out a friend, 100 for 80 isn’t bad. :-D

good 12:58 C, you never no someones situation, these people could be doing this for someone that’s shut in, we just never know.

Celisea

August 22nd, 2012
1:02 pm

blogging from my phone sux! lol

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
1:03 pm

Black there are some people that no matter what they are not going go do right, but lets not put everyone in that boat.

Leggs

August 22nd, 2012
1:04 pm

:you want some weed, go out in the yard and get it (LOL) – that was funny and probably true statement.

Celisea

August 22nd, 2012
1:06 pm

Lady – I hate it when theres a nice flow and laughing, then that nasty element find it’s way in.

To the doctor.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 22nd, 2012
1:15 pm

yeah I feel you…..can’t entertain it……..a bit draining ya know……

yawn yeah I am sleepy too! yall I think I have a keeper…my boo brought my wings(girl supplies) last night and cooked dinner…..the last person who did that I married him lol…..#random thoughts lol

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
1:16 pm

Lady – that’s definitely a keeper!!!

kimmie

August 22nd, 2012
1:16 pm

Swiss – Any woman who would see you pre-Mrs Swiss and are that blind to not see you had your stuff together would not be worth your time anyway. They are obviously not intelligent. Folks who would judge just because you drove a Civic are probably not used to much anyway and are looking for someone to upgrade THEM!

Shoot, I drive a Chevy Tracker that’s in bad need of a paint job. But it’s fully paid for and runs beautifully. Folks that don’t know me can judge my situation all they want! :cool:

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 22nd, 2012
1:19 pm

Thanks Bluz!!!! it was a long night of homework with the little one and he was there on the back hand running errands and cooking…….I so appreciated that! love the little things~

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
1:27 pm

The little things add up to so much!!! I’m not a materialistic girl…I’d rather have the sweet gestures like that then a gift…

i'm swiss

August 22nd, 2012
1:27 pm

kimmie — Exactly. BTW, you ready for some football? This cooler weather the past few days has me ready to fire up the grill, pop open a cold one (or 10) and plant my arse in front of the big screen… :)

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
1:28 pm

It must be noted that the hubs did cook the pork chops last night. :)

I feel you on the keeper thing, because after my day yesterday, I knew I wasn’t cooking a thing when I got home! LOL!