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Is inexperience a bad thing?

When you get to be my age *cough*, you go through enough dating misadventures to get a little “wisdom” (see what I did there?) and gain a lot of experience. You figure out what works, what doesn’t. You define what you like and what you absolutely can’t stand. Experience is a good thing. What happens when you don’t have past experiences though?

I was talking to a friend who is seeing a new guy who is a lot younger than she is, which means he has not dated many women. Sometimes, she can tell because of how he reacts and handles certain situations.
Thankfully, she is a patient woman and feels he is worth it.

Do you think that dating someone who has little or no experience is hard? Have you ever been the first love, first relationship, or first lover? Do you feel any pressure?

They say we are the sum of all of our experiences, what happens when our experiences add up to zero??

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

471 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
11:33 am

Well ATL Broke to some means I have no expendable cash in my POCKETS, broke to others mean I have no way of getting money from anywhere. We all have to learn how to balance things in our lives, and when you do, you learn that those things that you thought you had to stop because of “priorities” could have still been enjoyed.

To me there is nothing wrong with her riding with him, it’s the way she stated it. If I’m in a relationship and me and my woman are going to the same place, her riding with me because she’s a little low on funds this week would not be a problem.

And when we use the words I, I’m, me, my or any other first person equivalent, everything else after that is irrelevant because it’s not us.

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
11:34 am

@Bluz: I LOVE my vet, Dr. Good. He has several locations. Let me know if you need contact information. His entire staff is very loving and compassionate.

@Swiss: :lol: :lol: I know, I know….

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
11:37 am

Another thing that made the funnies this morning, Victor Hill an ex Clayton county sheriff gets re-elected with 39 felony indictments against him. This is funniest and the most absurd thing in America, where do we go from this point?…………LOL

disco

August 22nd, 2012
11:37 am

swiss – on a scale of 1-10 I give myself a solid 8. now when confronted with a 2 or a 3 that 8 jumps up because I’m being graded on the curve. using the curve, the 2 or 3 should seek out a 5 or a 6. he/she is still making a come up and I don’t have to be accused of being boojee-ghetto.

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
11:37 am

ITL – I have some issues with Dr. Good, if it’s “Michael Good” who runs Homeless Pets also. When I was looking for a home for my deceased friend’s dog, he said that he would take him in with a $500 donation!!! I thought he really helped people and I was so upset. Not to mention that he knew my friend…Thanks, though!

ATL Guy

August 22nd, 2012
11:38 am

Blackfoote – I just think its a double standard from a guy’s perspective when it comes to dating. It is expected the guy will drop the money on a date. My girl tells me all the time I make more money than her so I should be the one paying for this and that. Its kinda true, but she cooks quite a bit so I find that right there cost money for groceries. Dating doesn’t need to cost a lot, but money is the number one reason for divorces or breakups so being stable takes off the burden at least

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
11:39 am

Dang…the vet I know charges $90 for euthanasia!!! Ugh! Searching for low cost…

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
11:39 am

:(
I’m surprised and sorry to hear that, Bluz. I never would have expected that from him or his staff.

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
11:39 am

Bluz~ I also have a vet that I love. Not sure what area Mag is in, but if you want my vet’s contact info, let me know. Happy to forward it.

ATL~ I have to agree with S/H; There are levels of broke. MC Hammer was broke, but definitely not broke like Bluz. She is not saying she couldn’t get the gas if she so chose, she is saying that she would prefer to not spend those duckets because it will cause her to be tight somewhere else until payday rolls around again. Am I correct, Bluz?

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
11:42 am

ATL Guy: Sounds to me like you’re more interested in keeping a ledger/keeping score than anything. They just decided to use the “dating” term last night, and you’ve already got them headed for divorce because Bluz is having an off week and a little low?? smh….

disco

August 22nd, 2012
11:42 am

doesn’t matter to me why bluz said it. I’m just happy that she said it. I’m proud of her. granted it’s just a little bit of gas but it’s a start.

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
11:43 am

I’m hawngry. BF, what’s for lunch?

Leggs

August 22nd, 2012
11:44 am

*****PSA*****

Department: Information Technology

Title: Business Application Programmer/Analyst – Experienced professional must have a proven track record of success with Enterprise System Applications . This person must have a minimum of 5 years of experience in Enterprise systems programming, design and development.

If anyone is interested, let me know.

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
11:45 am

CC – you are correct! Mag lives up in Flowery Branch, but I’m in Duluth. I told him I will get off work at 4:30 today if he wants me to go with him. So…go ahead and email your vet info to me at bluzgirl79@gmail.com. It’s worth checking out. I want to help him out because I know he is devastated over this…

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
11:46 am

Damn, Leggs! You just do it all, huh? Too bad Magnum is not in IT, Bluz…

Leggs

August 22nd, 2012
11:47 am

: I should have held off on the sex. At the time, I really thought it would just be FWB.” – Like hell you did! We told you from day one you weren’t made for a FWB relationship, but you already knew this.

i'm swiss

August 22nd, 2012
11:48 am

disco — Hey, that’s just the cost of being the hunted rather than the hunter. You’re not gonna want to get caught by everybody that comes hunting. Just be happy you’re still a prime target. But in defense of dudes of all ratings — you never get anywhere in life by striving for mediocrity. I’d be the first to say Mrs. Swiss is way out of my league. But I still got her. :D Besides, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Or, in this case, one woman’s 2 is another woman’s 10.

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
11:49 am

Sheesh…called another vet and they want to do an exam before euthanasia! WTF?!?!?! The dog has had cancer and is dying! Why do an exam and charge $110?!?!?! Man…this is all making me sick…

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
11:51 am

Leggs and CC – I wish I was in IT!!! I sure could use a change in career!

disco

August 22nd, 2012
11:51 am

swiss – so true but that other woman is probably a 3 her darned self. lol. okay, I’m done clowning the ratings. I get it. is it just me or does it seem that most men tend to date/marry up a grade or two? are women collectively settling or do women recognize that a lower grade man might be more willing to keep her up on that pedestal thinking she’s the prize? just random pondering.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
11:51 am

Single @11:33 a very good post man.

ATL absolutley dates shouldn’t cost as much but men have carried the load in that area because we made the most. Today women make as much or more and it is still our load to bear but there are a lot of women that can carry their own weight, yours, and mines too.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
11:52 am

Bluzy – Keep you head up. My day is about done here…unless I’m home in enough time to do more work. Toodles and happy trails (for now)…lol I tell ya…SMDH!!!!!

Leggs

August 22nd, 2012
11:52 am

Comon ~ nah, I don’t do it all, but because this is a blog, I’ve been posting job openings when my company is hiring.

I left on page 2 and now you guys are on page 4. Let me see whatcha talking about now.

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
11:57 am

Bluz~ I sent you the info on a vet a co-worker uses because it is in your area. She has 5 dogs and feels about her vet the same way I do. If you still want my vet’s info, let me know. You have my email. Also, you can forward me the Jam info too. I live in Marietta and may have to bring the hubs out to check out your Magnum…

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
11:58 am

@Bluz: The vet that has been treating his dog cannot do the procedure?

Why, why, why is Wave of Mutilation stuck in my head. Dang Pixies. :(

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
12:00 pm

Thanks Cel!

CC – Thanks for the email. I’ll send you the info.

ITL – Honestly, I’m not sure. He didn’t say…

kimmie

August 22nd, 2012
12:04 pm

Hey Gang!

Sorry about your man’s dog, Bluz!

Topic – Experience is relative. Just get in where you fit in.

I’m ready for the weekend!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
12:05 pm

Light I’m skipping through lunch. I have my mind set on a baked potatoe, spinach, and (Baby Ray’s bbq) baked pork chops tonight for dinner, I may hold off until then.

Leggs

August 22nd, 2012
12:05 pm

Ok, all caught up. I see you guys are on sick dogs and scam artist Vets.

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
12:05 pm

Also, you can forward me the Jam info too. I live in Marietta and may have to bring the hubs out to check out your Magnum…

@CC: You’re not gonna ditch us for the Sandman again, are you? :lol: I kid, I kid….sorta.

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
12:06 pm

Dang, BF! What time shall I be there? :) J/K J/K

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
12:06 pm

ATL Guy – As of our last blog encounter, I will NOT entertain foolishness on here with you. As you just mentioned, you have a girl so what I do and with whom…OR NOT is NUNYA. You have my email addy. If you want to ask in private what I do and with whom and where I go or get out whatever your unresolved issue is, you can ask there. Otherwise, not doing that with you on the blog.

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
12:07 pm

ITL~ Nah, that’s on a weeknight. I will be fully rested. :lol:

disco

August 22nd, 2012
12:08 pm

BF – re holding off until dinner time. “I think I can, I think I can”.

ATL Guy

August 22nd, 2012
12:09 pm

Into the Light – you’re getting it mixed up. I’m not keeping a tally & I’m not saying their new relationship is heading for divorce … my point was money is an issue with many relationships and married couples so being stable makes the relationship easier, one less stress. I know a girl who’s really attractive (been in music videos), but states how broke she is all the time. She goes out with guys cause they have money or stable. Its a completely one way street and I don’t think it should be that way. If you start getting serious in a relationship it should be a partnership. Both people should have someone to contribute if that means cooking dinner, straighting out the place, contributing to the rent, etc. There’s still this traditional view of the guy taking care of everything, but times are changing where women are just as career successful

ATL Guy

August 22nd, 2012
12:10 pm

Celisea – I don’t know your address remember, you got me mixed for someone else apparently

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
12:12 pm

“What time shall I be there?”

LOL……..@Light everytime I hear a lady ask those words my fangs drool.:oops:

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
12:13 pm

There’s still this traditional view of the guy taking care of everything, but times are changing where women are just as career successful

I always find it funny when men say this. Usually (but not all the time) when a man says this, he wants her to pull her weight financially but still come home and play wifey. She should cook, do laundry, etc. and he might clean the kitchen and vaccum. If men want women to do all of that, then go out and make the money and let your woman stay at home. Otherwise, if I work as many hours as you, don’t expect all that when I get to the crib. :lol:

i'm swiss

August 22nd, 2012
12:14 pm

“are women collectively settling or do women recognize that a lower grade man might be more willing to keep her up on that pedestal thinking she’s the prize?

Or maybe some women have too high an opinion of themselves? Or are just looking at the wrong things.

It’s funny to me to listen to Mrs. Swiss’s single girlfriends complain. They’re always telling Mrs. Swiss how there are no good men out there anymore and how lucky she is that she found someone who’s still young, smart, has a good job / makes good money, treats her right, etc., etc. What’s funny about all that is that none of these chicks would have dated me when I was single (of course, all of these ho’s would gladly try to steal me now). She has friends who have written dudes off for driving a Ford Focus (I was driving a Honda when I met Mrs. Swiss. I have a friend who drives a Focus, actually. He’s a lawyer.), or because the dude’s house was smaller than hers (I had a very modest 2-br townhouse when I met Mrs. Swiss). Meanwhile, Mrs. Swiss (who is a faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar better catch than any of her friends — and I realize I’m biased, but seriously, any objective observer would come to the same conclusion) saw me for the person I am rather than all the material crap, and now all her single friends are jealous of the life she has, the house we share, the cars we drive, etc.

If Stanley were around, he’d go ahead & buys these girls a house full of cats, ‘cos that’s where they’re headed… :lol:

This concludes my “Single Ladies” PSA for the day. :lol:

Into the Light

August 22nd, 2012
12:14 pm

LOL@BF. Good think I didn’t ask what time should I come. :oops: Sorry, couldn’t resist.

ATL Guy: I see the point you are making now, but to use Bluz’s situation to illustrate your point could not be further off the mark. We have to reign her in to keep from doing TOO MUCH.

disco

August 22nd, 2012
12:15 pm

ATL – for a lot of folks it’s more a matter of “playing broke” than “being broke”. a lot of folks simply prefer to spend other people’s money. if they can surround themselves with folks who don’t mind feeding into their brokeness and sponsoring their activities I say they should have at it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
12:16 pm

disco I’m hoping I can hold off that long.

Leggs WTH my blushing face didn’t work on my 12:12 what did I do wrong? Go ahead and get your laugh out I’ll be here.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 22nd, 2012
12:16 pm

good one swiss~

it feels good to love and be loved in return~

Leggs

August 22nd, 2012
12:19 pm

swiss ~ I like your post. I’m one of those that don’t go around saying there aren’t any good men left. They’re harder to find, but they are definitely out there. I’m not settling with just any warm body for the sake of having a body so I will remain positive knowing what I know (lol).

Yep, mrs. swiss’ friends are probably jealous. Dismiss someone because they drive a Ford Focus…I’ve heard it all!!!! If Gremlins were still on the road, no reason to dismiss someone because they have a car!!!

disco

August 22nd, 2012
12:20 pm

swiss – I’m raising my hand and admitting to being the chick that “shunned” a guy because he drove a little beat up kia sephia. in my defense, it wasn’t JUST the car but I do recall feeling a wee bit apprehensive when I first saw the car. lol.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
12:21 pm

My appointment is at 2:00…so I can blog a little longer…yaaaah

Swiss’ 12:14…it’s ALWAYS like that…lol

Leggs

August 22nd, 2012
12:22 pm

BF ~ you don’t have a “space” between the period and your blusing characters.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
12:22 pm

Blackfoote – What’s this I’m hearing of shenanigans and smooking weed?!?!?!

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
12:26 pm

Honestly though, both sexes alike will dismiss someone because of where it seems like it can’t go or grow (take Bluzy’s situation). I mean you can steer clear of the signs and avoid altogether a dreaded life of going nowhere or you can chance what’s behind curtain #1….could be all good, could be a bust.

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
12:26 pm

I have a friend who drives a Focus, actually. He’s a lawyer

I drive a Hyundai Elantra. And I LOVE my car. It was the 2012 car of the year and I could give a rat’s a$$ what anyone else thinks of it. My money goes to more important places like my kids college funds and retirement planning. As long as the car is safe and reliable, I’m good. Besides, there is noting funnier than seeing some chicken head driving a BMW, Lexus, Mercedes, etc that she can’t afford and the thing is raggedy to death! :lol: