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Is inexperience a bad thing?

When you get to be my age *cough*, you go through enough dating misadventures to get a little “wisdom” (see what I did there?) and gain a lot of experience. You figure out what works, what doesn’t. You define what you like and what you absolutely can’t stand. Experience is a good thing. What happens when you don’t have past experiences though?

I was talking to a friend who is seeing a new guy who is a lot younger than she is, which means he has not dated many women. Sometimes, she can tell because of how he reacts and handles certain situations.
Thankfully, she is a patient woman and feels he is worth it.

Do you think that dating someone who has little or no experience is hard? Have you ever been the first love, first relationship, or first lover? Do you feel any pressure?

They say we are the sum of all of our experiences, what happens when our experiences add up to zero??

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

471 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
7:27 am

Inexperience and young doesn’t always go hand and hand. It can be a good thing because there’s not all that baggage from years of failed relationships. and you have to remember their your S/O not your child for you to nurture!

Exiled!

August 22nd, 2012
7:59 am

Zig zagging around just because to leave my mark….First!

On topic:

I’m struck by Diva’s last sentence..(cough) your experience adding up yo zilch,zer0,0!

See,it’s better to have inexperience but score!

Than get washed up with experience!

Experience in dating only counts if it gets you u some longterm warm body eventually.

………,

Ok Second!

Grrrrr

Exiled!

August 22nd, 2012
8:00 am

adding up to

Exiled!

August 22nd, 2012
8:03 am

Yesterday I was reading the blog afterhours(can u believe)

I am an addict!

I must confess,I read Bluz’s 11:19 and just burst out laughing very loud,jerking in my chair. :lol:

I tell ya!

Miss the blog

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
8:19 am

See, I was going to try and be a little quiet and work today but Meello, your 8:03 made me burst out laughing. Addicted huh? Yeah, it happens…lol

Morning!!

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
8:20 am

I can’t believe I’m here THIS early :) Well, I have to leave early so yeah, I can believe it.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
8:23 am

On topic: Inexperience is not a bad thing if you’ve not lived long enough to have any. No, it’s not a bad thing for a kid. As for adults, I just find it hard to believe you don’t have any experience. Maybe not MY experience but (you will have) experience none the less. It comes with each year you live. Unless you’re in a box and never leave the house, never work, never interact then yeah, I can see that. But if you make a trip through the drive-thru, YOU GOT EXPERIENCE. Now, if you want to be a cougar and go for the more younger sect, then you can’t rush and force what they’ve not come into yet. Either be patient (cause school is definitely in), or get with someone your own age…lol

Me personally, no can do.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
8:26 am

What happens when you don’t have past experiences though?

No such thing. I think we need to clarify a gang of stuff versus to fill a notebook versus a notepad of “stuff” you’ve done does not make you inexperience.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
8:28 am

Okay…again….a gang of stuff to fill a notebook versus a ONLY a notepad of stuff does not make you inexperienced.

Okay, I need coffee!!

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
8:28 am

And I still made a boo boo :(

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
8:34 am

ATL Guy

August 22nd, 2012
8:39 am

G’ Morning Blog Family!

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
8:49 am

I always knew coffee was bad for you!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
8:53 am

LOL…….@Everything Cely said. You got me falling out over here Cely.

Good Morning:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
8:55 am

I forgot to say welcome to the morning crew.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
8:56 am

Heeeey there Blackfoote :) How goes it this morning?

I’m sipping on a stroooong cup of java and I don’t do “strong” coffee…lol

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 22nd, 2012
9:00 am

I should mention to that I do agree with all your posts.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
9:01 am

Why thank you kind sir :) Imma have to work today. I gotta get out of here early and I sort of dragged yesterday

Leggs

August 22nd, 2012
9:01 am

Good morning.

Yeah, I knew coffee was bad for a person. She took grouchy to another level, Celisea!!

I am inexperienced in some areas, and more experienced in others. To form a relationship with someone w/little experience would be problematic for me. To have to rely on buckets of patience would take the wind out of my sail. Everyone has experience on some level.

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
9:01 am

Good morning! I’m just now starting my first cup of coffee, so I can’t even think straight yet! LOL! I’ve always liked older men…guys my age or younger just act immature and I don’t know if it’s lack of experience or what. I have no patience for them. Of course, yes…older men can be immature also, but at least they have life under there belts…

disco

August 22nd, 2012
9:02 am

good morning crew.

celisea – what’s in that coffee you are sipping?

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
9:02 am

Leggs – For Real. I mean, then to call and say he fell down the steps when all along you committed mugacide?? C’moooon

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
9:03 am

disco – That made me laugh. It’s strong…for real

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
9:20 am

On Topic~ I think thatt everyone arrives at the same point in life with different sets of baggage. Experience is definitely relative and not all experiences are positive and growth encouraging.

Off topic~ Bluz~ Don’t try to be sliding up in here all incognegro and not telling us! Dish girl! What happened with Magnum last night?!?

Oh, yeah, Good morning all!

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
9:23 am

Damn, C, you starting us out early this morning! LOL! He must have asked her for some ish EARLY in the morning before she had that first cup. :lol: Even my kids know not to talk to me before I get the first cup of java in…

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
9:27 am

C from yesterday, the Islands are great during the New years never been there during Christmas, just make sure you go further south than Grand Bahama it can get on the chilly side there.

disco

August 22nd, 2012
9:27 am

I am not a coffee drinker but CC your post (and that story) confirms what I have always suspected. coffee should be on the controlled substance list. folks are for real about their coffee.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 22nd, 2012
9:27 am

running in and hiding! whew what a morning! okay catching up! oh howdy crew! what is poppin’!?! :-)

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
9:28 am

CC – I was trying to wait a bit for topic change!! LOL!

Dinner went really well and we talked about anything and everything and just laid it all out on the table. He sat next to me in the booth, which no man has ever done. A lot of what happened this weekend was lack of communication on both of our parts. He was waiting to hear from me…I was waiting to hear from him. He was really upset that I felt the way I did on Saturday and he apologized profusely. I heard him out and I’m willing to give him another chance. So…we are now dating. I’ll have my guard up and not jump into a relationship…we’re just going to see where it goes.

We did NOT have sex last night. I do have to admit, he had to rush out because he got a call from his sister about his dog not doing well. But…we were just enjoying hanging out and that’s all I wanted last night. Oh…and he drank water with dinner and one glass of wine when we got home. We talked about the drinking and he said that he went a little too overboard in Nola and has decided to back way off. No liquor or beer…maybe a glass or two of red wine every now and then.

We’ll see where it goes. I’m pretty scared of getting too involved and need to keep myself in check, but we like each other, so why not give it a shot? I have promised myself (and my mother) that I will not waste time, though. If things start turning sour, I will walk away before I sucked in…

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
9:28 am

Leggs, what do you have to have patience with

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
9:33 am

Enter your comments here

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
9:34 am

Comon Cents – Honey, I will make sure not to chat or anything until you’ve indicated you’ve had your first cup…lol Not trying to be a victim of mugacide…lol

Single and Happy – Thanks

Bluzy – So…we are now dating

Look at you propelling from FWB to dating!!! Git git girl…lol I got faith in you. Now buddy and his issues (and yours) are a different beast to conquer, but if you like him (and he you), I love him. Work it out :) :) Good girl, for not smashing.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
9:35 am

Looks like we might have to retire the couch.

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
9:35 am

Comon Cents, where did you get Incognegro from?

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
9:35 am

So…. you bought everything he said hook, line and sinker and had his dog not been sick you would have smashed last night. When is he moving in?

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
9:36 am

rotflmao at Comon (she just said what everyone was thinking)

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
9:37 am

Incognegro came from way back in the Morris Brown days. Someone I went to school with used to say it. Why?

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
9:37 am

Comon Cents – Now now, be nice…and positive. We know there are many underlying issues but at least she wasn’t driven by her loins and they had a sober convo. That’s progress.

We need to support and keep our blog baby uplifted…lol

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 22nd, 2012
9:38 am

yeah laughing @ Ex! lol ok still catching up…..

waving @ C!

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
9:38 am

disco~ Yes, coffee sould definitely be on the controlled substance list. I am an addict and Starbucks is my dealer. LMAO!

C~ Yea, even my 5 year old says “Don’t talk to Mommy. She hasn’t had coffee yet.” :lol:

disco

August 22nd, 2012
9:38 am

C – I hate to be the naysayer (well, no I don’t, it’s my role) but I think we owe old boy’s sister the credit for blocking last night. had she not called about the sick dog it would have been on and popping (lol, sick dogs, deaf cats, the jokes keep coming)

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
9:39 am

Comon it’s something I use, and have to explain what it means to alot of people.

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
9:40 am

AND…he was the one who said that we were dating…It was nice to have a man who actually WANTED to talk about issues!

CC…I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. He did have decent explanations. There was a lot of lack of communication over the weekend. I’m willing to see where it goes.

And…no…if he hadn’t left due to his dog, I still don’t think there would have been any smashing. Cuddling, sure, but smashing…no. We both had really rough days yesterday and went through a lot in our discussions. It was a little draining. As much as I’m attracted to him like that, I didn’t even think about it last night. I just wanted to spend time with him…

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
9:40 am

You’re right, C. Sorry Bluz. But in my defense, all I have to go on is what you write on the blog. So, when you tell me “He’s a lot like my ex” and “He crept out without speaking” (and let my deaf cat out :lol: ) Well, you already know…

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
9:41 am

Thanks Cel!!!

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 22nd, 2012
9:41 am

Morning lady, what’s crackalackin

Comon Cents

August 22nd, 2012
9:42 am

As much as I’m attracted to him like that, I didn’t even think about it last night. I just wanted to spend time with him…

You may not have been thinking about it, but I guarantee you he was. LOL! C, give her the frotterism definition, cause that was what was about to happen had they cuddled. (except for the stranger part…)

Single and Happy "I'm not crazy, I'm just upset because my imaginary friend is mad and won't talk to me!"

August 22nd, 2012
9:42 am

Comon, I have to agree, these are not RED flags, but SEMAPHORE MESSAGES the words aren’t just adding up to the actions.

Bluzgirl

August 22nd, 2012
9:44 am

I think putting my thoughts about my ex isn’t being fair to him. There are similarities, yes, but they are two different people. I have to not look at it that way.

He did tell me that he didn’t mean anything by leaving without saying anything. He said that he went to say goodbye, but I was sound asleep and since I had been up late, he wanted to let me sleep. He said he wasn’t creeping out. I told him to NEVER do that again because it made me feel like a cheap wh0re. As far as the cat…I was right that he didn’t listen to the voicemail. What is it with people not listening to their messages?!?!?! He said he had about 5-6 messages that day and didn’t listen to them all and he felt terrible about my cat getting out.

Again…I have some guard up, but I’m willing to see where it goes. You never know who may be right for you if you don’t give it a chance, right?

disco

August 22nd, 2012
9:44 am

comon cents (you see I called you by your full blog government name) – will you kindly remind bluz that she is now officially dating a homeless man? I don’t want to be the one to say it. also, since she is now officially dating him there’s a greater chance that she’ll feel obligated to house him should some kind of issue arise with his current lodging arrangements.