Dating in Atlanta competitive?
I was out hanging in our great city recently and I noticed something about the dating scene, it’s competitive. No really, like pull out all the stops, going way overboard to attract people – competitive. It’s one of those things you sort of always knew about the dating scene here, but until you pay close attention, you don’t see the intricate ways it unfolds.
A lot of people in Atlanta are really big on image (fake?) and the appearance of success. You don’t have to actually be successful, just walk and talk like you are. The problem with focusing on the image and appearance is that you really find out later once the bait and switch happens. All this makes the dating scene competitive, a little challenging, and I think a bit shallow.
What do you think? Have you noticed the competitiveness of single people here? Does it bother you? How can you rise above this kind of thing and meet people who are more authentic and genuine?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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432 comments Add your comment
SlimUno
August 21st, 2012
11:37 am
Leggs – I’m just saying lol and Cel is right. She needs to do what she wants to do because that’s what she’ll do anyway. That’s just the truth, straight no chaser.
Comon Cents
August 21st, 2012
11:38 am
I agree with Leggs @ 11:33 AM. Or maybe it’s the “I have so much going on right now, I can’t devote the time needed for this “relationship” so let’s put it on old and be friends” talk.
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
11:40 am
Slim – Exactly. At this point, there’s been enough to determine which way to go with it. As hard as it is (as I’m sure we’ve all been there), sometimes you just have to walk away and never look back. The quicker, the better.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 21st, 2012
11:40 am
LOL…….@Leggs that’s some eating when all the meat is gone.
Cely This Is It is fine but nothing like what JJ put out there. I gotta remember to call next Thursday to put in an order (Labor Day weekend) cause Friday and Saturday you wont get any if you get there late.
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
11:42 am
Blackfoote – I’m glad you reminded. I need to get my order in. Nothing like sitting back, ribs in the kitchen and nothing to do but chill all day. Especially ribs you didn’t have to bother cooking….lol
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
11:43 am
I texted him and said “I’d rather talk in person…maybe in the next day or two?” He responded with “What ever Bluzgirl (said my name)…” I just asked when is good for him and waiting for a response.
I do like him, but it terrifies me because he’s so much like my ex and I can NOT get into another situation like that. I want to remain friends. I’m ok with backing off of everything else and just sticking to being friends. Ugh…men!!! I don’t know why he’s getting testy with me. He’s the one who did me wrong on Saturday. I just want to clear the air.
NOT what I wanted to deal with today…I just want to go home and crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head for a couple of days. I hate this depression…
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 21st, 2012
11:43 am
I think I want to fry fish and the fixings for labor day……..hmmmmm
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
11:44 am
Leggs and CC – I’ll be ok if he says he wants to just stick to being friends. Really…I’m fine with that. If we have to stop the sex, then fine…
Comon Cents
August 21st, 2012
11:46 am
Lady~ What kind of fish? I am partial to tilapia…
Comon Cents
August 21st, 2012
11:47 am
Bluz~ Who you trying to convince? Us or yourself?
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
11:48 am
CC – I guess myself…
i'm swiss
August 21st, 2012
11:50 am
Bluz — You mentioned you volunteer at a center for the bi-polar… Serious question — not being sarcastic at all, and feel free to tell me it’s none of my business, because it’s not — but just curious, have you ever been diagnosed as bi-polar?
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 21st, 2012
11:51 am
Lady: tell your man I’m not a threat I came to help eat the fish……LOL
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
11:52 am
I’m in no place in my head right now to make good decisions with him, I believe. I’m too emotional. I’ve got to pull out of this depression, but it usually takes me a day or two…
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
11:55 am
swiss – I’m cyclothymic, which is just below bipolar. I also have generalized anxiety. In my cyclothymia, I deal with more depression. I’m on mood stabilizers and anti-depression and anxiety meds, but it still takes me down sometimes. One difference in cyclothymia and bipolar is that I can still function in my daily life. Even though I’m feeling really low right now, I was still able to get out of bed and come to work and do my job.
I’m not ashamed of my mental issues…I fight for reducing the stigma attached to it, so I have begun to talk openly about it. I want to show people that it’s ok to have these issues and it doesn’t mean you’re crazy…
disco
August 21st, 2012
11:57 am
not to crack jokes on bipolar but I have a cousin who was diagnosed and she seems to think it gives her free reign to act a danged fool. she’s constantly talking about “so and so better leave me alone. they know I’m bipolar”. lol. me, I’m always in the background talking about “quit telling people you are bipolar”. there is no shame in her game.
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
11:58 am
Bluzy – I’m certainly not here to beat up on you for wanting and desiring more, but for you (based on what you’ve posted) and where your
headheart is in all of this, it would be wise to look at where you could possibly land in the grand scheme of things. If you’re cut from funning and flying have at it, but if that’s going to further wreak havoc on your mental state then learn to let it go. I said do what you want, because it’s oozing from the screen what you want and desire, but if he’s not on the same page, the physical is only going to last but so long and you’ll end up with none of what you so desire as well as empty. I won’t make you feel like it’s foreign walking away from something that you soooo desired, but if folks aren’t in it for you and you for them, meshing along the same lines, an imbalance overall, it’s just safe and the right thing to do in cutting ties. It’s not always want you want but at some point you (you Bluzy), will have to grow up and learn this and what it means.Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
11:59 am
disco…I’ve never understood people who do things and think it’s ok because they are bipolar. I dated a guy who was bipolar and he used that all the time as an excuse to be emotionally abusive to me. I called him out on that real quick! We didn’t last very long…
disco
August 21st, 2012
12:02 pm
bluz – I don’t know that particular dude (or any of the other dudes in your life) but it does seem like you are prone to being emotionally abused. as for my cousin, she’d be wide open with or without a bipolar claim. I just think it’s comical that she loves to holler out “I’m bipolar”. every time I think about it I giggle a little bit. I’m like go ahead and act a fool, you don’t have to bring bipolar into it. lol.
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
12:02 pm
Cel – the weird thing is that I do and I don’t want more. I’m attracted to him, but he’s not who I should be with. He’s not going to give me what I want. I ended my last relationship because he couldn’t give me what I want and need. I have to stay strong to not get caught up in something like that craziness again. I just want to go back to being friends and just hanging out and having fun together. I have to be able to cut out the part about wanting more. I think I can do it. I’m much stronger than I used to be. There are too many red flags and my eyes are opened. If I get involved with anything more, then I’m the fool. Only way things will progress is if he SHOWS me that he’s not like my ex and that he really cares about me, which I’m not expecting to happen. Since he won’t do that, I think I’ll be able to keep it moving.
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
12:03 pm
I just ate 3 hours ago and my spaghetti is calling my name. I’m so weak right about now…lol
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 21st, 2012
12:04 pm
BF he would talk your head off but you would be full of food and great convo and beer!
CC I am not a fan of tilapia but it seems to be winning around these parts…..I would love some spots and crookers….i like fish with bones….
think we will fry fish….I am over bbq food….lol
C good post!!!!
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
12:04 pm
Bluzy – but he’s not who I should be with. He’s not going to give me what I want
The rest of your 12:02 should be deleted at this point. This is all you need to know
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
12:04 pm
disco – One thing I can’t stand about people who do use their bipolar to act a fool is that probably 95% of people with bipolar disorder are on the right meds and go to therapy and you would never know they are. People who use it to act crazy makes everyone think that every bipolar person is crazy. It’s heartbreaking.
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
12:05 pm
Lady – Guurrrl, don’t you talk about fish with bones. Every opportunity to get it, which is rare, I jump at it. I mean you can buy it and cook at home, but not often can you find too much outside of fillet
i'm swiss
August 21st, 2012
12:06 pm
Thanks for the candor, Bluz. I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to deal with that, but I wish you the best.
And now back to regular blog programming — i.e. a far less serious observation: You think blues is the best music to listen to for someone with depression issues? Just asking?
Maybe you should try “Up With People” or something? Ah, who am I kidding? I’d kill myself if I had to listen to that crap… 
SlimUno
August 21st, 2012
12:09 pm
Sorry Bluzy but you are always talking out of two sides of your mouth:
“the weird thing is that I do and I don’t want more”
“There are too many red flags and my eyes are opened. If I get involved with anything more, then I’m the fool. Only way things will progress is if he SHOWS me that he’s not like my ex”
SlimUno
August 21st, 2012
12:12 pm
swiss – LMFAO may be a better choice lol
i'm swiss
August 21st, 2012
12:13 pm
Off topic: I’m all for chasing your dreams, but some dreams are just kinda stupid. This lady really needs to find a new goal in life.
SlimUno
August 21st, 2012
12:13 pm
Maybe you should just take a good long break from dating or sexing period…get yourself together mentally because you’re all over the place…just a suggestion
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
12:14 pm
swiss – a lot of the blues I like are jump blues with upbeat music! Stuff I can dance to!
Actually, music is typically what can pull me out of my depression quicker. I just can’t crank it up at work and focus on it and sing. If I could, I’d be in a much better mood today.
i'm swiss
August 21st, 2012
12:14 pm
Slim — LMFAO was actually the first option I thought of for that post, but I couldn’t even type the name without wanting to slit my wrists…
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 21st, 2012
12:14 pm
I did an intense research methods literature critique of bipolar women veterans post war dealing with PTSD. yeah many folks don’t have a clue what the disorder entails with therapy and without…..yeah I focused on medication too Bluz……..
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
12:15 pm
Slim…you may be right. I thought I was getting myself together, but this threw a wrench in it! Back to focusing on me. At least with the bass lessons, I have something positive to focus on that makes me feel good…
i'm swiss
August 21st, 2012
12:16 pm
Bluz — Actually, I totally get that. I was just being snarky. Actually, Mrs. Swiss thinks most of the stuff in my iTunes is depressing, but it makes me happy.
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 21st, 2012
12:17 pm
I can find fish with bones from my hometown no I don’t care for the fish at the markets here its a difference I do miss staying by the beach………….
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
12:17 pm
I have an IPod in my desk that I NEVER use. I think there may be 10 songs on it… Think I’ll take it out and load up a few songs.
SlimUno
August 21st, 2012
12:18 pm
Bluz – Whatever you do, don’t listen to Sade
Leggs
August 21st, 2012
12:18 pm
Comon Cents
August 21st, 2012
11:47 am
Bluz~ Who you trying to convince? Us or yourself?
August 21st, 2012
11:48 am
CC – I guess myself….
Now, that right there is pure honesty….thank you Bluz!
“…but he’s not who I should be with. He’s not going to give me what I want.” – Then stop right there. Perhaps if you stop looking for guys to fill a void for that moment, you can grow and heal and find that man that will never leave you with a void. Pull up, regroup and stop falling on Dick, Tom and Harry!!!! If you can’t control your libido, you will always be a used for an emotionaless depository!
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
12:19 pm
My cousin gets it from the farmer’s market and gut and clean herself…all for the sake of having bones. Ummmm, no can do. I think Bay Breeze sells fish with the bones in. Someone told me that a couple of weeks ago. I think it was Bay Breeze.
Bluzgirl
August 21st, 2012
12:20 pm
PLEASE NO LMFAO!!!! Just shoot me!!! LOL
Lady – I used to be only interested in the medications until about two years ago when I felt like I was losing it mentally. I started therapy, where I got my true diagnosis, and was put on proper meds. That, along with talk therapy, has helped tremendously. People are so afraid of therapy. Again…the stigma attached. I will glady say that I’m in therapy because it’s the best thing I’ve done for myself. Yes…I still have hard times…I always will. Sometimes I handle it right…sometimes I don’t. It’s all a learning process…with or without a mental issue. (I don’t like the term mental illness)
Leggs
August 21st, 2012
12:21 pm
swiss ~ when I heard they pulled her out of the water this morning, I thought the same thing. Lady, it’s time to stop chasing that particular dream. I watched Shark Attack this past weekend, and I cannot understand for the life of me why someone would swim in shark infested waters and stinging jelly fish!
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 21st, 2012
12:23 pm
I am glad you embrace both moving forward. It is very challenging however you can be the odds and master your future~ You have the power and don’t give it to the world to define you! Be you and find a peace with it~
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 21st, 2012
12:24 pm
See C back home in the country they clean it for you happily! lol the small things are priceless… just not the same here~ lol
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
12:25 pm
Lady – Sho nuff. Cause I’m not cleaning fish. Nuh uh. I’ll batter and fry it up but not cleaning/scaling
Leggs
August 21st, 2012
12:25 pm
Bluz – Whatever you do, don’t listen to Sade
Good point. Especially her last album. Made we want to stick knives in my own eyes and ears.
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 21st, 2012
12:26 pm
meant BEAT the ODDS Bluz!!! lol I am sure you get it…..I am a bit in and out!
Slim I just texted my Boo about frying fish for labor day and his response is what is for dinner tonight! I texted back whatever you cook honey! smh lol men lol
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
12:26 pm
Maybe I shouldn’t say “batter”…lol Cornmeal is my preference.
Lady~cool beans :-)
August 21st, 2012
12:26 pm
yes cornmeal use batter when you got guest lol let me stop!
Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!
August 21st, 2012
12:27 pm
Yuuuummmy