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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating in Atlanta competitive?

I was out hanging in our great city recently and I noticed something about the dating scene, it’s competitive. No really, like pull out all the stops, going way overboard to attract people – competitive. It’s one of those things you sort of always knew about the dating scene here, but until you pay close attention, you don’t see the intricate ways it unfolds.

A lot of people in Atlanta are really big on image (fake?) and the appearance of success. You don’t have to actually be successful, just walk and talk like you are. The problem with focusing on the image and appearance is that you really find out later once the bait and switch happens. All this makes the dating scene competitive, a little challenging, and I think a bit shallow.

What do you think? Have you noticed the competitiveness of single people here? Does it bother you? How can you rise above this kind of thing and meet people who are more authentic and genuine?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

432 comments Add your comment

Exiled!

August 21st, 2012
7:33 am

Competitive? Oh Bly….but like I didn’t know!

So…..if it is competitive like that how do some bloggers end up on dates with dudes who don’t have cars?

:lol:

Lily…..beat.. :tongue:

Lily

August 21st, 2012
7:48 am

Competition? Blah

@Exiled, I was waiting for you :)

Good day!

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 21st, 2012
8:27 am

LMBAO @ Ex & Lily!!!!! too funny smh~ Morning crew! I see an animated day ahead! :-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 21st, 2012
8:33 am

Authentic people don’t have to shed their image and appearance it’s there, fakers exagerate their worth. A grown man competing for affection in one of the most highly regarded cities where women are abundant I feel very bad for you. I don’t believe mature women want men to view them as objects to compete for like they’re at an auto auction.

Good Morning:

Bluzgirl

August 21st, 2012
8:48 am

I think some people see dating as a sport. I have vowed to just be myself because I want a man to fall for me as I am, not as I appear to be. I saw a great quote last night, “Be Weird. Be Random. Be who you are. Because you never know who would love the person you hide.”

Bluzgirl

August 21st, 2012
8:49 am

Oh…and good morning

disco

August 21st, 2012
9:02 am

good morning folks. the way I see it dating – as is a lot of things in life – is competitive. whether you want to call it that or go into it with a competitive frame of mind, it is what it is. sure there’s dating just for the sake of having something to do but then there’s dating to seek out and hopefully find a true partner. you are sizing them up based on your criteria and they are sizing you up based on theirs. you may or may not be in direct competition but to the victor got the spoils.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
9:03 am

Morning,

“Be Weird. Be Random. Be who you are. Because you never know who would love the person you hide.”

Love this!

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 21st, 2012
9:04 am

:-) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good one C~

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
9:05 am

Hey there Lady, what’s crackalackin this morning? I’m headed for coffee :)

Exiled!

August 21st, 2012
9:05 am

Blackfoote..you are so very wrong!

You think women who date spend gazillions time in front of the mirror and gazillion more $$$ on dress shoes nails just to please themselves?

Hmmmm..maybe they can tell us.
And they snipe on each other
And then they brag whenthey got a man……my man this my man that…
And the ones listening eye roll and snipe… :eyeroll:

So what do men do..with All this attention on Us….

We tap dance……looking around and smelling ourselves….

Choosing choosing choosing….

I am so glad I am a Man….

:lol: I ain’t really laughing!

Good morning… No hate. No no haterration please

SlimUno

August 21st, 2012
9:07 am

Good morning all,

I think you’ll attract comparable energy that you put out. If you are a fake person, always trying to keep up with the Joneses, worried about what a person makes, shallow etc then you’ll probably attract someone of that same nature. Take myself for instance, I’m not all into the latest hand bag, who is driving the newest Beamer, Benz or Bentley so i don’t attract many folks that do find interest in those things. As far as dating competitive, I’m not going to throw myself around all for the sake of a date. If I meet you and we seem to have a connection then we date/hangout and see where it goes. If you come across as a womanizing, male wh0re, then obviously our dating period will be short-lived. I’m not trying to date the Stevie J’s of Atlanta…I want a down to earth, level headed, responsible man.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
9:09 am

Mmeello – I’m in between Blackfoote’s post as well as yours. I think from the time little girls come into their own, it’s their nature to want to primp and look good and be girlie. However I agree, it’s not all for nothing. Yes, nature kicks in but not just on one end. Nature (i.e. boys) are calling. So, to some extent IMO, women (I do), like to look good, look fit, smell good for themselves but I also believe somewhere underneath that, it’s to get a man’s attention. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean you’re hunting and looking and scavaging and not even so much a direct hit, but even if just a little, it’s because looking good, looking fit, smelling good is the thing that turn heads.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
9:10 am

Nature IS calling

disco

August 21st, 2012
9:11 am

ex – while I agree that a lot of primping is done for the benefit of the opposite sex a lot of primping is done for the sake of the person primping. do you know that some women in prison spend their book money on makeup? as far as I’m concerned that’s a big waste of money (I’d rather buy the little Debbie cakes myself) but it’s not my money. and men primp too. let’s not front like they don’t.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
9:11 am

And I don’t mean when I’m getting dressed, it’s top of mind…meaning “let’s see, what can I wear that’s hot so I can get JimBob to look”, not in that sense either.

Maybe I’ll just hush now…lol

disco

August 21st, 2012
9:16 am

JimBob? hmm. you got any cutoff daisy dukes? maybe a little handkerchief print halter top? you can either dress it up or down depending on whether you wear your fancy cowboy boots or your runover flip flops.

Celisea

August 21st, 2012
9:23 am

Nah, hooch clothes been put away for a couple of decades now.

Comon Cents

August 21st, 2012
9:34 am

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Good Morning all!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 21st, 2012
9:41 am

Ex I get information from (Mature) single women that I’m in tune with. They consistantly tell me they don’t care for a grown man that goes out his way for attention. They tell me they look right past him and look at dudes more put together. They realize dudes with that menatality is mostly carpet bagging.

Good grief Cely where you’ve been?

Roberta

August 21st, 2012
9:44 am

I like to look like a million bucks every time I leave my house for whatever reason. But that’s just me.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
9:45 am

Blackfoote – I’m still here. Saw you pop in a time or time. Saw you talking about your mini vacay :)

I have some bad news, I was switched at birth and found out sadly, we are NOT twinks :( Yep, as it stands, I was a single birth…lol The silver lining in this blast of bad news is that I’m adopting you as my virtual big bro :) :)

Comon Cents

August 21st, 2012
9:49 am

So, O/T~ My office is on lockdown this morning. We have a former employee who has threatened all the partners in my firm. Scary, scary stuff.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 21st, 2012
9:51 am

The question on women spending to look good, yes some will and should. They are the most attractive things on earth and I want them to look very good. Looking good and being arrogant about it are two separate issues, the arrogant woman can ease on down the road without a peep from me while the good looking lady with class can stand next to me.

Leggs

August 21st, 2012
9:52 am

Authentic people don’t have to shed their image and appearance it’s there, fakers exagerate their worth.

Church doors have now closed! Excellent, BF

Good morning.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 21st, 2012
9:55 am

Aww Cely, I’m here when the need arises. :smile:

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 21st, 2012
9:56 am

interesting~ 0_o

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
9:56 am

Thanks my VBB (virtural Big Bro) :) :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 21st, 2012
10:01 am

LOL……@Leggs I’m not so sure y’all want me standing in the pulpit.

disco

August 21st, 2012
10:05 am

CC – dang. he threatened ALL of the partners? not just a particular partner but all of the partners? my kind of former employee. I can just hear the threat in my mind – all you mutha suckas. lol. anyway, be safe. we had a similar situation at a firm I worked at some years back and the poor receptionist was in a tizzy. I told her that if by chance a crazed gunman showed up looking for anybody that she should just tell them where so and so was. heck, I’d have been like let me get the firm directory, I’ll tell you where they live, what they drive, what their kids look like. what you wanna know?

Comon Cents

August 21st, 2012
10:10 am

disco~ Yeah, he threatened them all. Apparently he is bi-polar and off his meds. I never knew him as he left here before I came, but he seems to believe that they had someting to do with him getting fired from his current job. Conspiracy theory and all. I’m just glad my offfice is in the back!

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
10:13 am

Blackfoote – I would exactly say the pulpit…lol I think there’s a lot to be said if defining being authentic versus not. Passing opinions because a person doesn’t look, act or conduct themselves by your standard or what you think is not NOT being authentic. You just don’t agree.

Okay, say if a man is wh@ish and don’t tell a woman, then he’s not being who he is, but if he says hey, I’m cool hanging out sometimes but I should tell you, I like plenty of women, then he’s being true to who he is. I might object to his lifestyle because I believe there should be only one man to one woman, but if that’s NOT who he is, then is he a poser just because I think so?

Or say a person like the finer things. If that’s not my thing, should I feel some kind of way about them because it’s not me and what I do?

Or say a person is an introvert and I’m not. Should I say they shun folks and are anti social because I am and they’re not?

I think being authentic is true to who you are…no matter what others think. IMO, if you’re politically correct because it’s the thing to do, but within you don’t believe it yourself and would rather live cramped because of that, then you are not being true to yourself.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
10:14 am

wouldn’t not would

Bluzgirl

August 21st, 2012
10:20 am

Wow CC! Please keep us posted! Stay safe…

Bluzgirl

August 21st, 2012
10:23 am

O/T – Man…I’m in a funk today. And no…it’s not because of Magnum…just been thinking a lot about my friend who passed away in March and it’s all been hitting me the past couple of days…

Comon Cents

August 21st, 2012
10:27 am

Bluz~ I plan to stay safe. Hiding back here in my office and hoping I get called out for something out of the office. Might have to choose not to waive arraignments today. :lol:
Sorry about your friend. How did s/he die?

SlimUno

August 21st, 2012
10:32 am

I’m in a small funk today because i’m PMS’ing. That is all

Keeping it one hunnnnnned ;-)

disco

August 21st, 2012
10:34 am

CC – how did he/she die reminds me of a childhood rhyme but for the life of me I can’t remember which one? miss mary mack or strut miss suzy or something but it had a line that said “how’d she die, oh she died like this”. jeez that’ll bug me for a while.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 21st, 2012
10:34 am

Cely the second paragraph stands out to me when someone tell you what they are and back that up with action that’s authentic. Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks that’s authentic too. I beleive we’re all authentic until we show something different.

Bluzgirl

August 21st, 2012
10:36 am

Thanks CC – He was an ex from a long time ago, but we remained close friends. He was a severe alcoholic and had a ton of health problems. He just keeled over and his roommate found him. We just found out two weeks ago that it was his heart that gave out. I’ve been kind of in caretaker mode with his roommate/best friend and haven’t really given myself much time to mourn. Now that things are slowing down and life is getting normal, it’s hitting me. I realized the other day that no matter what was going on in our lives, we never went more than 5 months without speaking and it’s been just over 5 months since he died.

Not trying to dampen any mood on the blog today. Just wanted to share that I’m feeling blue. Hoping ya’ll can get me laughing today! :-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 21st, 2012
10:37 am

Slim1 @10:32 that’s genuine and authentic……….LOL

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 21st, 2012
10:40 am

me too Slim….I am dazed with a headache and just spaced out sippin’ on a ginger ale! I am sleepy too! ugh! :-(

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 21st, 2012
10:40 am

Bluz grab this rope so we can pull you out the rut.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
10:40 am

Blackfoote – I agree and exactly. Oftentimes, calling someone out based on what we internalize as how things should be, IMO is wrong. People are free to be, is where it’s at (yes at)….whether it’s crazy, skank, huzzie, standup…whatever IMO, waaaay deep down inside, every individual knows if they’re keeping true to who they are. At that point it’s on them. I had to learn that. Don’t go trying to school, counsel, fix folks. Work on yourself and let folks live and let live. And mistakes, hiccups, errors, do-overs, IMO ain’t faking. That’s what I would call living.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
10:41 am

Yeah Slim, don’t get no more authentic than that….lololol

Bluzgirl

August 21st, 2012
10:44 am

Thanks BF…I’m hanging on to it!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 21st, 2012
10:44 am

Ok here are more ropes for all just grab hold. Yeah this means you too Lady.

Comon Cents

August 21st, 2012
10:45 am

I’m so sorry Bluzy. I hope your day gets better. We can all shuck & jive for you a little today. Hell, as tense as things are in my office, we’re all joking about it so we don’t think about how scared we are. Dude is apparently a real nut case.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
10:45 am

Blackfoote – Anymore vacay plans before the year is out? I’m still hanging on to trying to get to the Carribean.

Celisea....He who laughs last, laughs on: Winning!

August 21st, 2012
10:47 am

I wonder how it would be hitting the islands at Christmas time….hmmmmm