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Dating: The L word dilemma

What would you do if the person you just started dating blurted out “I love you” way too soon? It happens a lot! People get caught up in the moment and express what they think they are feeling.

This kind of situation can either scare someone off because they don’t feel the same way or it can force a conversation about “where things stand” with you.

I think some people have been the first to say I love you in relationships that they are gun shy with sharing those words. Should you wait to say it when you mean it? Do you say it when you think you are falling?

Why are guys freaked out when a woman they are saying tells them she loves them. After doing all kinds of things with the woman, hearing her say I love you somehow seems outrageous, but why?

When do you think it is appropriate to tell someone you are falling in love, are in love, or love them? When is the wrong time to say it?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

183 comments Add your comment

Jake...SPJTWB

August 17th, 2012
3:40 pm

Awww man…Bluzy, you ain’t thinking bout having a “talk” with him are you…Don’t do it, ya’ll just having fun right, Please Let Him Be The One To Say, “I want more”.

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
3:42 pm

Thanks Cel…good words of advice. I think this weekend will tell a lot about what may or may not happen with us. I would like to have a convo about his drinking, but maybe I can turn it into a casual remark. I was thinking about asking him to drive tonight since I won the tickets… :-)

I do listen to ya’ll, even if it seems like I don’t at times! ;-)

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
3:42 pm

Yep, she said the other day she’s ready to lay it out there. Technically she disqualified herself for “having the talk.” I got faith though. Buddy could be in for just ass or he could be digging her for real. He ain’t been exactly ghost so, there’s hope. Play it right Bluzy and come out on top with the priiiiize!!!! You can do it :)

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
3:45 pm

Jake…I really just want to have a talk to find out how much he actually drinks. Too much drinking or having a problem are a deal breaker and I don’t want to get in any deeper if it is a problem. Maybe having him drive tonight will be a good test…

I’m not wanting to have a relationship “talk”…just want to clear some things before it turns into a relationship…

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
3:45 pm

Him driving right now should be automatic. Once y’all get cozy, you can get sexy and swing through and pick him up. Just remember, the rules are different with FWB….ain’t none. So you gotta get on the good foot first. Don’t get all deep and heavy. Good convo, good time, good sex. If he’s still there, make him a couple of flap jacks. Don’t be hanging on his leg when he gets ready to go in the morning. Play cool (even if you want him to stay the entire weekend), if he decides to leave. Get yaself a hot bath and occupy youself so you don’t be tempting to call him back over after being gone for only an hour (lololol). Stay gone all day. If he calls and wants to do something Saturday, cool..if not, heck you was busy (wink wink) and never gave him a second thought.

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
3:46 pm

I think he’s digging me for real…if it was just to get some, I don’t think he would have texted and called while in NOLA. Just my opinion. Who knows, though. I know that I sure want to get some!!! LOL

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
3:47 pm

LOLOLOLOLOLOL…..I’m am so fond of you. You just put it out there, no shame, no lying. Chile, I’m not hating on you for that. Yeah, all of us get there of “just wanting some” Nuttin but da truf

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
3:48 pm

Thanks again Cel! Luckily, I have a bowling tournament in the morning, so no biggie if he leaves. He does have a dog to take care of, so I’m not worried about that. The night we first hooked up, he asked if I would drive, but he did give me gas money. Now, though, the game has changed! I don’t mind him driving my car, but I sure don’t want to drive in the ATL traffic!!! Plus…it would be nice to get my drink on!

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
3:49 pm

Let me clarify, him driving SHOULD be automatic but right now ain’t no rules. Still, don’t pull your car out of the driveway (hope nobody shoots me for saying).

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
3:50 pm

Alright, you got your tools…good advice (all week long), good cuttie (kitty) and a good liver…lololol Work it!

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
3:54 pm

I’ll be working it all right!!! :-) :-) :-)

Jake...SPJTWB

August 17th, 2012
3:54 pm

Ohhh, he like to get toasted…I guess I probably missed the discussion of why it concerns you…There are vastly different categories of gettin too it, now he getting “white-boy wasted’ regularly, then you have call for concern..

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
3:57 pm

Just pay attention. Too much alcohol intake is top of mind right now. Be swift about it if you see it’s too much. I don’t care if he’s long dong, magnum, big boy….that’s not worth the problem you no doubt will have in the future. Don’t ask him (like you planned), because what alcoholic say they drink too much. Take the wheel on this one.

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
3:59 pm

Jake…I don’t care about social drinking…I’ve just dealt with a couple of alcoholics and have promised to not get in a relationship with another one. One ex passed away in March and he was a severe alcoholic.

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
4:00 pm

That’s true Cel…I think I’ll be able tell as we spend more time together…

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
4:02 pm

Alright Bluzy, for now have a blast!

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2012
4:03 pm

What’s good ladies and gents? What you all got going on? Anyone have a time accelerator handy? I’m ready to sprint up outta here.

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
4:07 pm

Bluzy might have one….lol

i'm swiss

August 17th, 2012
4:10 pm

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD AFTERNOON, MIA!

Did you miss me? :) I’m too lazy to go back & read, so what’s happening up in here?

i'm swiss

August 17th, 2012
4:12 pm

“There are vastly different categories of gettin too it, now he getting “white-boy wasted’ regularly, then you have call for concern.”

Jake — I wish I could get offended by that, but I can’t be mad when it’s true… :lol:

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
4:13 pm

I wish I had a time accelerator!!! Get to leave in 20 minutes, then time is going to DRAG once I get home!!!!

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
4:14 pm

Girl, don’t kill yourself and others getting there…lol He’ll be there soon enough. Slooooooooow dowwwwwwwwwwwwn

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
4:17 pm

LOL!!! I know, right?!?!?!

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
4:18 pm

swiss…you are definitely missed!!!

i'm swiss

August 17th, 2012
4:22 pm

What’s up Bluz? You still walking funny? ;-)

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
4:23 pm

LOL! I will after tonight! Since you were to lazy to catch up…I’ll fill you in real quick! He just got back yesterday from Nola…I won tickets to Chastain tonight for Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and he is going with me!

i'm swiss

August 17th, 2012
4:25 pm

Oh wow… I didn’t realize Big Bad Voodoo Daddy were still around. Cool. Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy both Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and Big Daddy.

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
4:27 pm

:-) I saw them last year and they were great with the Atlanta Symphony Orch. I love the dancers that come out to see them. It’s gonna be a blast!!! I also have friends who work at Chastain, so I’ll get hooked up with good seats…

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
4:29 pm

Alright peeps…time for me to jet. I’ll fill ya’ll in on Monday! Have a good weekend!

me

August 17th, 2012
4:31 pm

just saying

August 17th, 2012
4:59 pm

@me: what a relief from the clown show bafoonery bringing things to a slow crawl. the lesser of two evils

just saying

willie wonka

August 17th, 2012
5:01 pm

buffoonery right?

just saying

August 17th, 2012
5:04 pm

no way BAFOONERY

just saying

hasta la vista