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Dating: The L word dilemma

What would you do if the person you just started dating blurted out “I love you” way too soon? It happens a lot! People get caught up in the moment and express what they think they are feeling.

This kind of situation can either scare someone off because they don’t feel the same way or it can force a conversation about “where things stand” with you.

I think some people have been the first to say I love you in relationships that they are gun shy with sharing those words. Should you wait to say it when you mean it? Do you say it when you think you are falling?

Why are guys freaked out when a woman they are saying tells them she loves them. After doing all kinds of things with the woman, hearing her say I love you somehow seems outrageous, but why?

When do you think it is appropriate to tell someone you are falling in love, are in love, or love them? When is the wrong time to say it?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

183 comments Add your comment

Lily

August 17th, 2012
7:22 am

It’s appropriate to tell someone you love them, when you love them. This thing is not about games and tic for tac (ie you say it because he or she did first). I would hope you and your partner are succinct at this point and things running parallel. Other than believing you’re in love for real, there is no reason to say it.

oddmanout

August 17th, 2012
7:24 am

Good Morning!

This is the way I look at it, just because one person is ready to shout out “I LOVE YOU” doesnt mean that the other person is.
Them: I love you
Me: Ok….

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 17th, 2012
8:00 am

Good Morning MIA!!!!

SlimUno

August 17th, 2012
8:42 am

Morning,

Sorry peeps, I ended up leaving work early yesterday. I just needed some time to get my thoughts together.

disco

August 17th, 2012
9:05 am

good morning folks. here is to a super speedy day. I need to get up out of here. I’ve got thangs to do.

on topic. I’m not pressed to say I love you, I’m not pressed to hear it. if a guy said it to me too soon I’d probably look at him like he had a tree growing out of his forehead while thinking “dude, you don’t even know me like that”.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
9:07 am

Lily said it all,

Happy Birthday Lady

Slim you doing okay? I know you feel bad for your sister, but you have to wish her the best and try and let it go. those are her issues and her life.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
9:08 am

Disco, you don’t believe in love a first sight?

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 17th, 2012
9:09 am

Thanks Single and Happy!!!!!!!!!! :-)

disco

August 17th, 2012
9:13 am

single and happy – are you cracking jokes bright and early in the a.m.? me? believe in love at first sight? hecky naw.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
9:16 am

Disco love a first sight is a beautiful thing :-D It happen to me once..

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
9:17 am

Too bad it wasn’t mutual (rotflmao)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 17th, 2012
9:20 am

love at first sight~ chuckle

disco

August 17th, 2012
9:21 am

I certainly won’t debate it with you S/H. I’ll simply have to take your word for it. your word and the word of countless others that believe in the phenomenon. me, myself, personally – I just can’t be down.

oh. and here I am responding to you and you are still cracking jokes.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
9:23 am

Nah no joke this time, it actually happened. different stroke for different folks :-D

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
9:26 am

Morning,

Love is a beautiful thang :) That’s all I gotS!

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 17th, 2012
9:30 am

SlimUno

August 17th, 2012
9:34 am

SH – You are right and it’ll take a little bit of time to swallow such a rash life decison. We had it out yesterday so at this point, all anyone can do is pray about it and hope my niece will be okay in the end.

Celisea

August 17th, 2012
9:36 am

Morning Lady!!!

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
9:54 am

One thing I’ve learned over the past year with some losses I’ve had and some near losses is to tell people that I love them when I do. Contrary to what ya’ll may believe, I do wait with a man. I have a tattoo of a heart on my wrist to remind me that I wear my heart on my sleeve. It is true that I’m good at falling fast and hard, but I do my best to wait a while before saying it to a man. But…once it’s said, I say it often. I tell all of my friends that I love them. I’m all about showing the love these days.

With my ex, I waited until he said it first even though I felt it. I knew it was coming. I may have said that I was falling at some point, but he looked at me one night and said “I really, really, really, really like…ah he!!, I love you!”

I was a little scared away from saying I love you to a man because an ex from a long time ago would tell me he loves me, but not in the way I want him to. It broke my heart. He’s the one who passed away in March. After he died, I found things in his house that I gave to him and I knew he really did love me, he just couldn’t show it properly. We were close friends and before he died, we did tell each other that we loved each other, but we knew it was just as friends at that point.

Ok…feel like I’m rambling!!!

disco

August 17th, 2012
10:04 am

i’m not into the verbal declarations of love. just last night I was on a call with my mother and she said I love you and I let it ride. she then said it again and I was like “alright alright. you said that already. get off of my phone”.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
10:07 am

Singing to disco (there’s a ice box where my heart use to be, there’s an ice box where my heart used to be, so cold so cold so cold) (LOL)

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
10:09 am

My mom and I talk a couple of times a night sometimes and we always say I love you before we hang up. I was afraid I was going to lose her last year to cancer and she’s my best friend. I say it because you never know what may happen to either one of us and it’s nice that the last words we said were I love you…

disco

August 17th, 2012
10:16 am

S/H – shut up.

bluz – I know. I hear folks say that all the time. still, in my opinion, you can say/hear I love you too daggone much and it can (at least for me) get on your daggone nerves. I already told y’all I listen to a co-worker confirm her love to her children 15-20 times a day. it’s not that real.

another word that irks me when it’s over used – “mommy”. it’s like that family guy commercial when dude is like “mom, mom, mommy, mom, mom, mommy”. shut the EFF up. lol.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
10:18 am

Disco, I’m the same way, when you say it to much it just becomes a word that you say
I’m like that when I hear someone say my husband or my wife all the time, I be like da*n does the MF have a name (LOL)

SlimUno

August 17th, 2012
10:19 am

disco – Is there anything that you do like? :lol:

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
10:21 am

Don’t give it do disco, she won’t like she hates everything, she likes it hey disco

Hope that wasn’t to dated for everyone

disco

August 17th, 2012
10:23 am

S/H – I don’t think you were around when I voiced that exact same opinion. can’t stand when folks do that.

slim – lol. yes but talking about what you don’t like is more fun. my favorite radio show segment of the week is tirade Tuesday. I like to hear other people complain so I don’t have to feel like it’s just me.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
10:25 am

Disco don’t for get “baby” it sounds like they’re trying to prove to everybody else that they’re in love (LOL)

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2012
10:32 am

Morning
You say I love you when you feel it. Life is too short and unpredictable to be playing games. If someone doesn’t feel it when you feel it, it’s not the end of the world.

So, how’s everyone doing this morning? Who’s ready for the weekend? Any big plans?

Into the Light

August 17th, 2012
10:32 am

Morning, all.

Just left the lab and enjoying some crazy good breakfast. Fasting blood work is best when followed by eggs, grits, bacon, and a biscuit. :)

Slim, glad you are back. Feeling any better?

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
10:33 am

Hi DM! I’m so ready for the weekend! Tomorrow, I get to go bowling for a credit union tournament, raising money for the Children’s Miracle Network! Should be fun, but have to get up early on a Saturday! Waaaaahhhh! LOL

How about you?

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2012
10:37 am

Don’t give it do disco, she won’t like she hates everything, she likes it hey disco
Classic commercial. lol

SlimUno

August 17th, 2012
10:38 am

disco – I’ve never heard of tirade Tuesday but I guess it’s similar to v103’s I’m Just Saying segment. People call in to complain about various things. Maybe we could get one going in here at some point today.

ITL- Thanks for asking. I’m…um…errrrrrr a little numb right now. But as SH said, she’ll have to deal with whatever consequences arise from her poor decision making. Even if she tried to play me to the left from some piece of old wang, i am her sister and that will never change. I’ll just be here as best as I can if something goes awry. I just hope dude doesn’t have to come up missing if he even thinks about messing with my niece (3yrs old)

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2012
10:39 am

How about you?
Hey Bluzy Sounds like you’re involved and active in lots of things. That’s cool. I suck at bowling, so I have the most fun when everyone else sucks just as much as I do. lol I don’t have any specific plans this weekend, but I’ll get out and do some things.

DuShawn

August 17th, 2012
10:46 am

- I LOVE YOU – Nothing ruins a good “Jump Off” relationship quicker than those three fatal words.
Things could be going great; everyone is playing their position and behaving accordingly. Then they say it. Often they try to slip it in informally at the end of a conversation or electronic correspondence with a “Luv Ya” and a damn smiley face. That immediately signifies the beginning of the end. I love that thing you do with your tongue, but that’s about the extent of it. Even that dissipates as I ejaculate.

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
10:50 am

It’s probably been 5-7 years since I’ve bowled, so a little nervous, but will be lots of fun! My team has raised over our goal amount, so it’s a great thing! I do stay active and get involved in a lot…sometimes, too much! But…the busier I am, the less trouble I can get into! LOL

Into the Light

August 17th, 2012
11:00 am

@Slim: well, if Earl has to die, I’ll help you cook the black eyed peas. (do you know the Dixie Chicks song I am referencing?)

@Blue: have fun, and wear extra thick socks. I don’t trust those nasty shoes. Nope, sure don’t.

Bluzgirl

August 17th, 2012
11:03 am

ITL! LOL! That song is funny…forgot about that one.

I promise to wear thick socks…or maybe two pairs! Don’t want a fungus! Ewwwww!!!

SlimUno

August 17th, 2012
11:04 am

ITL – Sorry, you have me stumped on that one. :oops:

disco

August 17th, 2012
11:09 am

DM and S/H – that song reference went right over my head. I don’t get it. what is it?

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
11:13 am

Disco that’s an old Live Cereal commercial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34wJt3pRY0w

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
11:15 am

The song reference was from Ice Box by Omarion

disco

August 17th, 2012
11:15 am

oh. so I’m mikey? got it.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
11:16 am

Disco, I’m sure you like some things (hee hee hee)

disco

August 17th, 2012
11:21 am

and now I’m doing a smooth little two step while singing debarge in my own mind.

I like it, I like it
I really, really like it
I’m for it, adore it
So come let me enjoy it

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2012
11:24 am

Ok so the blog topic played out quickly. What’s next?

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
11:26 am

Someone just like me – Runnin’ into someone just like you

I like it

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 17th, 2012
11:29 am

Opps wrong debarg (LOL)

You send chills up my spine every time I take one look at you

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 17th, 2012
11:37 am

slow morning………..noon is slowly coming~

disco

August 17th, 2012
11:40 am

lady – noon is coming? I’ll take your word for it. (my way of saying that I agree. this is about the slowest morning ever).