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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating: Why Are You Single?


Hello lovelies! Since I am pretty much having a horrendous week in the office, I have asked my Wonder Twin (seriously we are, we share the same birthday and we are both dating bloggers!) to guest blog today. Brittany Manson aka Miss Alone in Atlanta wants to discuss that oh so lovely question we ALL have been asked WAY too many times, “Why are you single?” (*insert eyeroll*)

Every now and then (more now than then) when I meet a guy, I’m posed with the question “Why are you single”? I like many women across America CRINGE at this question! What are you supposed to say that won’t make you sound crazy, picky, desperate, lonely, needy, vulnerable, sneezy, dopey, bashful, grumpy….ok well maybe not those last few.

Most of the time when I get this question, the way it’s posed almost sounds like you have a disease, like the underlying tone of the question is saying something’s wrong with you because you’re….dare I say it…..SINGLE! A lot of times women will get on the defense when asked and answer that they are single “by choice” (even though that might not be the case) leaving guys to think they’re not looking for anything serious.

My smart self began to answer with “I’m single for the same reason you are”. A guy countered my response one day with “so you have bad taste in women too?” I said “Yup! That’s why I don’t date them.”

So today I ask to the guys: Do you ask this question when meeting someone and why? Ladies: Do you like or dislike this question and why? Ladies: How do you usually answer this question when asked?

By Brittany Manson, Guest Blogger for Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

331 comments Add your comment

disco

August 16th, 2012
10:30 am

bluz – fyi – a good alcoholic can fool you.

ITL – like I’m the only one apt to catch a blog case.

C – what’s a good auntie to do? snatch part of ITL’s previous advice and tell her niece to go sit down somewhere.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
10:30 am

not good C~ I keep getting daggit cyst on my breast….I go at the end of the month for my annual…….they are small cysts I just pray nothing is forming underneath………of course a surgeon a few years back just told me God blessed me with great milk ducts….sigh smh lol life!

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:30 am

ITL, who’s having unclean thoughts :-”

Bluz, social drinkers don’t get drunk every time they’re in a “drinking situation”! And what exactly are drinking situations?

disco

August 16th, 2012
10:32 am

“bluz” – a shining example that the Good Lord made all kinds.

S/H – what happened to your $15?

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
10:33 am

drinking situations?!? sigh……….lol

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:35 am

Disco, gave it to the hope scholarship fund, I just knew I’d be on a private jet head for Jamaica about now (LOL)

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:36 am

disco – Have a bit of empathy…lol

Lady – She scheduled a further exam with the radiologists during the time I have my mammogram. That’s within the next couple of weeks. She was a bit concerned because my sister died of cancer and my mom had ovarian years ago and a couple more bouts since then. When she did my breast exam, she was like you’re very “tissuey” Of course that was the breast that scared the bejesus out of me last year. After getting called back three times, it was a cist.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:38 am

LOL@disco. I didn’t say you are the ONLY one, I was just saying if you happened to be the one, I’ve got your back. :)

Bluz, Bluz, Bluz…. I can’t go no more.

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:39 am

Today is National Rum Day, is that a “drinking situation”?

disco

August 16th, 2012
10:41 am

C – I’ve got empathy I just dole it out sparingly. messing with bluz there won’t be any left for anyone else.

S/H – almost any situation is or can be a drinking situation. heck, if there’s something to drink and you are drinking it, it is a drinking situation.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:42 am

@Stamps: If not, it should be. Looks like I’ll be calling the Captain later today, in order to celebrate you know. ;)

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:45 am

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:45 am

Disco, I wanted to hear what bluz defined it as (LOL)

ITL, just make sure you don’t call Earl after hanging out with the Captain. (LOL)

Willie Dynamite

August 16th, 2012
10:46 am

Morning All,
Topic – just don’t ask that ?. I’m sure during the conversation bits and pieces will come out. That ? Puts women on the defensive and if she is playing defense then you are losing the battle.
Other than that and the side topics – nothing.

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:47 am

Well, Bluzy ain’t been on the couch.. She can’t go back until September 3rd.

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:47 am

I thought in the beginning it was just going to be friends with benefits, so I didn’t care to know how much he drinks. I know he has told me that he has cut way back due to trying to be healthier…I just need to know how much that is. He knows how my ex drank and I’ve mentioned in passing that I won’t get involved in that again. I don’t know…I feel like I need to put it out there…

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:47 am

Drinking situation – I just passed a liquor store! (LOL)

Ms. ATL

August 16th, 2012
10:49 am

On Topic- I am single because I took myself out of a 26 year marriage- for cause. I am now dating (what I classify as) a good man. We shall see.

Off topic- Not clipping, but I am polishing my toenails at my desk; does that count?

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:49 am

‘I thought in the beginning it was just going to be friends with benefits” really now!

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:58 am

S/H – It’s not that he has gotten drunk every time. When he has to drive, he does not have more than maybe 2 drinks. We’ve usually been around each other at a bar or club. I just need to know if it’s a problem up front. With my ex and my friend dying from alcoholism, this is a hard limit for me. Social drinking is just fine, because I do that.

I’m sorry that I’m taking up the blog again this morning. I just need to figure out how to deal with this situation. I like him, but if he has a problem drinking, I need to know…

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
11:00 am

“bluz – fyi – a good alcoholic can fool you” Keep your eyes open and your mouth closed, you will find out.

Purple Reign

August 16th, 2012
11:00 am

If someone asks you “why you are single”….respond with “the same reason you are”.

disco

August 16th, 2012
11:03 am

bluz – 9 times out of 10 your “situations” aren’t the situation. you are your own situation!!! you are already caught up, already screwing dude and now trying to backtrack to determine whether or not something is a dealbreaker. not just any old something that got revealed after the fact but something that you have always been aware of. to quote florida evans (we’ve kind of fallen off on good times references folks) DAMN DAMN DAMN.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
11:03 am

@Bluz: If you’re gonna be honest with him, be honest with yourself. “I thought in the beginning it was just going to be friends with benefits, so I didn’t care to know how much he drinks.” You may have said FWB, but you always had more somewhere in the back of your mind.

At some point, Bluz, you are gonna have to just relax and let things be what they will be. I know people with your disorder, and I see them try to control things in order to make sense of chaos. I’m not saying that you are in chaos, I’m saying that, at least with them, their thoughts would race and they felt out of control. A way to cope with that was for them to be very prescriptive and exacting about other aspects of their lives. Unfortunately, that tended to alienate the other people involved in their lives.

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
11:04 am

I do know that a good alcoholic can fool you. That’s what scares me. I’ve been lied to in the past about it.

A good friend of mine just told me that she is in AA and he confided in her about going to meetings occasionally and has struggled with it, but is trying to keep it under control…maybe we can be a good influence on each other…Ugh!

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
11:06 am

A good friend of mine just told me that she is in AA and he confided in her about going to meetings occasionally

I thought one of those “A”s was for “anonymous” :roll:

@disco: I was watching it yesterday and James replaced the corduroys with a suit. Alright now….Mr. Evans looking sharp! :lol:

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
11:07 am

ITL – I’m sure trying my best to just relax and slow down. And…let go of the control and just let it be. It’s hard. I am good at getting myself worked up…

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
11:08 am

@Bluz: Repeat after me (you might want to rub your ears, too) Woooooosaaaaaaa…….Wooooooossaaaaaaaa

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
11:09 am

If someone asks you “why you are single”….respond with “the same reason you are”.<<<<<<<I have said this before~

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
11:09 am

Bluz, these are not red flags your seeing, its a SEMAPHORE message, how much more do you need to see?

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
11:10 am

ITL – one good thing about this AA friend is that she’s always been very straightforward with me. She was the drummer for my ex’s band for a while and tried her best to get me away from him because of his drinking and how he treated me. Anyway…she says that she sees a lot of hope in Magnum and that he wants to be healthy and doesn’t want to drink so much. She thinks we can be really good together and be a great influence on each other. It makes me feel a little better to hear that from her…

Ilikedrunkpeople

August 16th, 2012
11:11 am

I’m single because guys don’t like me. I’m trying to make myself Lesbian so I won’t end up in life alone…

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
11:12 am

It’s possible when I’m up front about my anxiety and cyclothymia that he will run. Who knows…

I just need to chill and see how this weekend pans out…

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
11:13 am

Bluzy – I think an overhaul might be good for you. Get all the out of the musician’s way of life/friends. Maybe a change in your overall environment might be good.

disco

August 16th, 2012
11:14 am

bluz – you make everything harder than it has to be. not just for yourself but for others too. here’s a momma-ism I’m sure we’ve all heard. “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. in honor of that I am instituting a moment of blog silence.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
11:14 am

Bluz, if I were in the same room as you, I would be shaking you right now.

Sorry, sweetie, but I’m done for today.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
11:14 am

My birthday is tomorrow~ That is an official drinking situation~ :-)

Purple Reign

August 16th, 2012
11:15 am

See I have to stop speed reading because I thought I read chlamydia instead of cyclothymia in Bluzgirl 11:12.

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
11:15 am

“It makes me feel a little better to hear that from her” now we know why we can’t get through to bluzy

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
11:16 am

Happy birthday, Lady! Cheers!!!

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
11:17 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY!!!!!!!!!! A year older and wiser :) :)

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
11:18 am

It’s tough Cel…I’m so drawn to artistic people. Even my therapist said he thinks I’d be bored with a corporate man… :-)

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
11:21 am

Hmm Artistic = (broke, I can take care of, build a man)

Corporate = (already built, can take care of himself)

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
11:21 am

Lady: Big plans for your birthday???

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
11:21 am

Bluzy – You don’t have to do corporate. Heck, I don’t want corporate…lol Just my assessment from what you’ve posted, it seems your world centers around the world and life of musicians. I don’t think you have to trade out old friends for new but maybe expand to some other places and areas. That’s just me. It seems rubbing up against different types, different kinds makes you more holistic.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
11:21 am

Thanks ITL & C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~

DreamsMaterialize

August 16th, 2012
11:22 am

Morning
I don’t ask that question. It always seemed like a dude’s lame way of playing himself up by trying to imply that the chick is too good to be single. Since you can’t really know if someone’s too good to be single in the first few conversations, I always figured chicks could see right through that. Women ask dudes this same question though.

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
11:22 am

Happy birthday Lady!

Ok…I’ll be done here for today about Magnum…

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
11:22 am

Okay Lady, I’ll drink to that! :-)

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
11:22 am

IMO, people asking why you’re single always read as some form of put down. That’s just me though and how it comes off.