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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Why Are You Single?


Hello lovelies! Since I am pretty much having a horrendous week in the office, I have asked my Wonder Twin (seriously we are, we share the same birthday and we are both dating bloggers!) to guest blog today. Brittany Manson aka Miss Alone in Atlanta wants to discuss that oh so lovely question we ALL have been asked WAY too many times, “Why are you single?” (*insert eyeroll*)

Every now and then (more now than then) when I meet a guy, I’m posed with the question “Why are you single”? I like many women across America CRINGE at this question! What are you supposed to say that won’t make you sound crazy, picky, desperate, lonely, needy, vulnerable, sneezy, dopey, bashful, grumpy….ok well maybe not those last few.

Most of the time when I get this question, the way it’s posed almost sounds like you have a disease, like the underlying tone of the question is saying something’s wrong with you because you’re….dare I say it…..SINGLE! A lot of times women will get on the defense when asked and answer that they are single “by choice” (even though that might not be the case) leaving guys to think they’re not looking for anything serious.

My smart self began to answer with “I’m single for the same reason you are”. A guy countered my response one day with “so you have bad taste in women too?” I said “Yup! That’s why I don’t date them.”

So today I ask to the guys: Do you ask this question when meeting someone and why? Ladies: Do you like or dislike this question and why? Ladies: How do you usually answer this question when asked?

By Brittany Manson, Guest Blogger for Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

331 comments Add your comment

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:53 am

Lady – I was getting in my car heading to work, leaving my mom’s only to look up and see the neighbor’s rottweiler charging at me. Almost tt’d on myself. Instinctively I turned to run but I turned back around. He stopped and I stamped my feet (like that was gonna do a lot) and yell at him. He didn’t stop barking but he stopped charging. I got in my car and pulled off. Of course I had to stop my legs from shaking first…lol

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:55 am

One Saturday I heard behind my house a bunch of dog whining, only to look out and see a pitbull and some mutt attacking another dog. The pitbull had blood all over it’s face and was digging it’s teeth in the wounded dog’s stomach. I was beating on my window but I wasn’t gonna go out there.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
9:56 am

LOL Disco you right you bring back memories!!!! LOL

C too funny!!!! Diamond’s ears are straight up and pointed!!!!! she is just wild and will run, bark, and play all day long!!!!

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
9:56 am

Cel – We had been texting back and forth all night, being goofy. I told him that I like him and he asked me why, so I made a list. We started off on another tangent and he told me he was drunk, so I said, “well, since you’re drunk, I’m going to ask you if you like me too.” He wrote back “yes, I like you.” Then he texted me first thing this morning.

Comon Cents

August 16th, 2012
9:56 am

Nothing on topic. If you’re single- love it. You’re maried or booed up- good for you.

Good Morning everyone. Please make some coffee and can I get a croissant?

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:59 am

Bluzy – Eeeeh, if you gotta pull it out of him and while drunken, I wouldn’t just go flying with that. Hang in there though.

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:59 am

Lady – :)

Bluzy – Not discounting…just saying hang in there.

disco

August 16th, 2012
10:03 am

CC – a croissant? shoot can a sister get a biscuit, some grits, eggs, sausage and home fries? I’m starving like marvin up in here looking at my little janky granola bar like it did something to me.

celisea – now. are you really surprised? lol.

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:03 am

I remember once we were at my mom’s and my kid was about six years old. Well, a neighbor and good friend of mine (as they live in a cul-de-sac) was bringing her puppy over. Well, my child is scarily afraid of dogs. The puppy wanted to play with my kid. She took off running…none of us could catch her. My mom’s door was open and she ran in the house and the dog right after her. That was sooooo funny to watch because we were all saying “stop running.” By that times folks were in their yards cause she was screaming like a banshee…lololol Guess they thought someone was under attack or something. Naturally, I had to pick my baby up and calm her down.

That was sooo funny to watch. Wish I would have video’d it.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:03 am

@disco: I love those Living Social/Groupon deals. It’s good to get out and about.

@Bluz: Wouldn’t you rather him SHOW you how he feels, rather than you asking him while he’s drunk? I’m sticking to my no tough love resolution, but it seems to me like you kinda cornered him. What was he gonna say?

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:04 am

disco – All I could do was laugh at your 10:03. I’m soooo keeping my mouth closed. I’m in her corner though, for real. I hope it pops off :)

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:05 am

I know Cel, but it still made me smile! He has made it pretty obvious that he likes me! When he gets back, I do need to talk to him about some things and throw some items on the table before we advance any further…

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:06 am

ITL – we were being flirty all night and I don’t know…I guess my ambien was kicked in by that point and I got brave. I do feel that he is showing me that he likes me, but we’ll see for sure when he’s back in town tonight…

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:08 am

Bluzy – I understand you…I do. Don’t pull out a list of stuff and scare him though….lol Lists and ultimatums are for folks saying one thing and showing absolutely nothing. I would only lay on him as it relates to working. If he ain’t supporting himself, eventually you will do it. But nothing relationship wise….right now. He seems like he might could end up digging you, depending on how you play it out.

Comon Cents

August 16th, 2012
10:09 am

disco~ While I AM starving, if I eat all that I won’t be doing ish for the rest of the day. (except maybe taking a nap…)

bluz~ I cosign on ITl, C & disco.

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:11 am

I said I was gonna hush didn’t I? Okay, now Imma hush

disco

August 16th, 2012
10:12 am

awww heyall bluz. STOP. he was drunk. you are on ambien. REALLY??? you need to get a grip girl. it’s not that real.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:12 am

Have fun tonight, Bluz!

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:12 am

And as it relates to working, that would just be, no finance no romance.

Now, I’m hushing…lol

Comon Cents

August 16th, 2012
10:13 am

Bluz~ Let meput it to you another way: You giving him the puddy, he obviously likes the puddy (not saying he doesn’t like more than that, just hear me out) he is planning on hitting the puddy when he gets back. You say you like him, what is he supposed to say? Nah, I don’t feel you like that? Convo would have been over right then. Soooo, what’s the harm in saying he likes you too? See where I’m going with that? Have to cosign C; it would be different if he just came out with it unsolicited…

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:13 am

Now you all know bluzy going to what bluzy wants to do, (blame it on the ambien) (LOL)

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:13 am

He had asked me why I liked him and I just said that he is good-looking, smart, funny, talented, a GREAT lover, a sweetheart, and gives good bear hugs. He replied that I may run for the hills once I meet his parents…

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:14 am

Bluz, do you ever feel like you’re the sun and we’re your planets? :lol: :lol:

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:14 am

Bluzy – That’s one of those butterfiles questions… “sooo, why do you like me” Btw, those come with butterfly answers. IJS

Comon Cents

August 16th, 2012
10:15 am

ITL~ What did you decide about the wedding? I cam up with a deliema for disco. If she goes to the wedding with you, she can decide whether to wear pants or a skirt to court. :lol: Don’t wory though, I will rep y’all for free because I hate those “frenemy” types too!

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:15 am

Oh…and the stuff to lay out on the table has nothing to do with his working…he works. It’s some other things that I want him to know about me and some questions I have about him. I really need to find out how much he drinks because I’m worried about that. I’ve been with two alcoholics and won’t do it again. I feel like I need to lay that out there because it’s a dealbreaker for me…

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:17 am

@CC: Still undecided on the wedding, but leaning toward not going. It’ll be a game time decision, though.

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:17 am

Bluzy – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…..don’t tell him nothing about yourself yet!!!! Go out again and watch him to learn what you need to know about him. Since apparently stuff is all cloudy with sleep medicine and thoughts of NOTHING BUT SMASHING. Watch for yourself and if it’s more than tolerable for you, then have the talk. Tell you you’ve noticed his alcohol intake is more than what you can deal with.

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:17 am

ITL – YES! :-)

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:18 am

If you lay it out there now, he’ll just cameleon into what you’re saying until you’re hooked. Then his real colors will surface.

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:18 am

Cel – I have been struggling with how to broach this topic. A friend had a good idea to invite him over and cook dinner and have no alcohol at the house. How he responds would be a great indicator…

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:18 am

(ITL now sitting on her hands and biting her tongue to control the urge to pull her hair and scream at the top of her lungs!)

Hope it turns out like you want it to, Bluz.

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:19 am

Bluzy, this is a friend, someone you’ve known awhile? How often have you known him to be drunk? And from the short time that you’ve posted about him, it’s been off hand I’d say about 4 And you have ask??

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:20 am

Bluzy, dear…if he’s an alcoholic, your ultimatums won’t make him stop. Your kitty won’t either.

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:20 am

He does know a lot about me and my mental issues. I’m not ashamed to talk about it since I volunteer for an organization that is about getting rid of the stigma. I kind of want him to see that I’m getting everything under control. I don’t know…I feel like it’s too early for all of this, but I don’t want to get in too deep and end up in the same situation I was in before…

Comon Cents

August 16th, 2012
10:20 am

Bluz~ So, how much does he drink? And if he was your friend before he was hitting it, you didn’t already know the answer to that? And, if you have a concern that he’s an alcoholic, why let this go any further until you have a definitive answer?

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:21 am

I’m done…for today…with Bluzy’s dilemna…lol

Comon Cents

August 16th, 2012
10:22 am

Too early? Nooo, too early was BEFORE you slept with him. I’m with IL; have to sit on my hands and bite my tongue right now…

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:23 am

Sooooo, disco. Anybody clipping their toenails at their desk today? ;)

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:23 am

“I feel like it’s too early for all of this, but I don’t want to get in too deep and end up in the same situation I was in before…”

Bluzy from your post, it’s to late, you in to deep

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:23 am

Well, I did much of my working from home yesterday and had my annual “get your junk examined” visit. To my chagrin, fibroids are back…ugh I have one so big the GYN had a hard (painful) time feeling my uterus. Soooo, I back where I was 18 years ago. Just great.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:24 am

I kind of want him to see that I’m getting everything under control.

WHY? Does he define who you are? Does he validate you? IJS…..

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:24 am

ITL, I see you still talking dirty (LOL)

disco

August 16th, 2012
10:24 am

ITL – good luck with that. bluz will take you there and celisea just encourages it. lol.

CC – that free representation you offered… can it be used in blog court? just asking in case someone catches a blog case.

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
10:25 am

disco – :) :) :) What’s a blog auntie to do??

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:27 am

just asking in case someone catches a blog case

LOL@disco. Just know if CC doesn’t do a good job for you, I’ll put money on your books. We might even be able to sneak a cell phone in for you so you can still blog from cellblock C. :lol:

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
10:27 am

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
10:28 am

@Stamps: Go sit down somewhere and think clean, pure thoughts.

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
10:28 am

S/H – We’ve been around each other a lot in drinking situations. I’m ok with a social drinker, but I need to know what kind of drinker he is. If he’s an alcoholic, then I will still be friends with him, but will halt anything more…

Single and Happy I knew I should have kept my $15 in my pocket!

August 16th, 2012
10:28 am

Woman shot and killed at northwest Atlanta bar

That officer stopped a man who was leaving the lounge “in a panic,” Lee said. “But as it turns out, that subject is claiming to be the victim of a robbery and a witness to the shooting.”

“We later learned that while he was detaining that one subject who was claiming to be a witness, two suspects casually walked out and got into a car and left the area,” Lee said. “They didn’t run or cause any alarm [or give] any reason for the officer to believe that they were involved.”

You got to love the APD, they’re right on top of things (LOL)