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Dating: Why Are You Single?


Hello lovelies! Since I am pretty much having a horrendous week in the office, I have asked my Wonder Twin (seriously we are, we share the same birthday and we are both dating bloggers!) to guest blog today. Brittany Manson aka Miss Alone in Atlanta wants to discuss that oh so lovely question we ALL have been asked WAY too many times, “Why are you single?” (*insert eyeroll*)

Every now and then (more now than then) when I meet a guy, I’m posed with the question “Why are you single”? I like many women across America CRINGE at this question! What are you supposed to say that won’t make you sound crazy, picky, desperate, lonely, needy, vulnerable, sneezy, dopey, bashful, grumpy….ok well maybe not those last few.

Most of the time when I get this question, the way it’s posed almost sounds like you have a disease, like the underlying tone of the question is saying something’s wrong with you because you’re….dare I say it…..SINGLE! A lot of times women will get on the defense when asked and answer that they are single “by choice” (even though that might not be the case) leaving guys to think they’re not looking for anything serious.

My smart self began to answer with “I’m single for the same reason you are”. A guy countered my response one day with “so you have bad taste in women too?” I said “Yup! That’s why I don’t date them.”

So today I ask to the guys: Do you ask this question when meeting someone and why? Ladies: Do you like or dislike this question and why? Ladies: How do you usually answer this question when asked?

By Brittany Manson, Guest Blogger for Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

331 comments Add your comment

Lily

August 16th, 2012
6:33 am

Seeing that I’m nearly spoken for, I’m not asked the question:) Initially, he asked why no one had snatched me up…lol My question is, single as in unmarried or single as in not coupled, no SO? I like where we are and I’m allowing this thing to carry me instead of for once, me doing the navigating. I guess in essence I can’t answer the question. :)

Lily

August 16th, 2012
6:43 am

I’m giddy some days. I have to hold my giddiness in sometimes because it makes me feel school girlish. :)

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 16th, 2012
7:13 am

Since I’m single I don’t see a reason to ask them why! What ever the reason is the end result is we’re both single. So is really doesn’t matter why.

Nayla

August 16th, 2012
7:33 am

You are single because you want to be. Whatever floats your boat.

Exiled!

August 16th, 2012
7:34 am

How come she is single?

That’s the Big Gorilla in the room.

And I laugh when I hear the eghh, my career blah blah this/that lie….really!?…look in that mirro,come on…

At least for guys..they always have that excuse of ‘whatif divorce Alimony thing’, which I understand because it sets u back financially.

But it’s really pathetic,sad actually,for me at least to hear a 40+ plus woman say,’my boyfriend!’
A 50+ plus man saying,’my girlfriend?’ Really?! :lol:

So….why are Curling yourself in bed like that,Alone…at 40+? :lol:

:lol: if u creeping 35 + and alone…careful…it’s coming! :lol:

Why Are U Alone?

………a lot of howling Today in defense! :lol:

Good morning!

Exiled!

August 16th, 2012
7:39 am

If u are a guy in Atlanta,40 + plus and single,it’s even more scrutiny before a chic even gets on board to even wanting to date u……

is he str8…how u know…he divorced….he got a baby mama..where he live(not midtown)…etc…

Cat Man

August 16th, 2012
7:42 am

Caaaats, gitcha caaaats! All colors, white, black, stripes! Best companion you’ll ever haaaaave! Caaaats, gitcha caaaats!

Disclaimer: One free quilt for every cat purchased!

Senior Lady

August 16th, 2012
7:44 am

Should I meet a nice man that would ask that question of a senior lady at the ripe age of 60, I would tell him the truth. My husband passed away some years ago and I have not met another man worthy of even a date. Sad but true.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 16th, 2012
7:44 am

Ex, at 50, saying my girlfriend means I get to go where I want, when I want, do what I want, no questions ask, and no one to explain it too. No midlife crisis, like being in my own space, don’t have to hear any griping, snoring or anything else that goes bump in the night. After a certain age for we all get set in our ways, and having someone curl up next to you on a regular basis would disrupt our universe :-)

For all the married, engaged, wanna be engaged folks more power to you just stop thinking because this is what I want, its what everybody else wants and it’s something wrong with them for not thinking the way I think!

Exiled!

August 16th, 2012
8:05 am

@Single..u have to make the most and best outa your failure!

At 50 you can’t correct a lot of the ‘mistakes’ of your earlier life like a divorce,sucking at dates,etc…
Now at 50,u can’t sell yourself to nobody but for a bootey call.. :lol:

See…….

Big Al

August 16th, 2012
8:17 am

I’ve known some single people who wished they were married. But I’ve known a lot more married people who wish they were single. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

oddmanout

August 16th, 2012
8:17 am

Good Morning!!
Oh I love a good Double Edged Sword topic!!
Have a nice day!!

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 16th, 2012
8:22 am

Ex what failures, I’ve never failed at anything! :-) Ain’t even trying to sell myself for booty calls, either we do or we don’t, but they need to hurry up and make up there mind, but I’ve got places to go, and things to do. :-) Life happens and we move on to the next adventure!

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 16th, 2012
8:24 am

Ditto Big Al, if you water your grass and use Chemlawn yours can be just as green. Life is what you make, not what you wish it was!

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
8:28 am

Waving hard @ Brittany!!!!!! Hey Sis!!!!! :-)

Morning MIA!!!!!! let’s see now~

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
8:36 am

Ladies: How do you usually answer this question when asked? Here lately the answer is “I am not single with a big smile” :-) in the recent past I have handled it accordingly………..If the person is being sarcastic or about to go into the black women 10 reasons why they are single, I brace myself and just would say it isn’t my season and I am at peace with that. Being single isn’t the worst but I was single a very long time to know appreciate a good man who loves me for me and rocks and rolls with all of me respectfully~ #humbly

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
8:38 am

meant *now appreciate**

LeeH1

August 16th, 2012
8:50 am

Some people see this as an invitation to an insult in the never ending battle of the sexes.

On the other hand, too few people see this as an invitation to a compliment such as: “I’m still single because there aren’t enough wonderful guys like you around to choose from!”

Which invitation you pick shows your true personality. While most women are trained by movies, TV and their girl friends how to seduce men for sex relationships, few women today know how to flirt with the end goal of both people in the relationship being happy, and not necessarily sex.

disco

August 16th, 2012
8:51 am

good morning.

cat man – gotta give it to you. that was funny.

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
8:54 am

Morning!

I am cracking up at the Cat Man…lololol That was funny as heck.

On topic: Nothing, I gots nothing :) I’m goooood!

Exiled!

August 16th, 2012
8:56 am

Single…the problem with this blog is u can be hitting a brick wall,trying to argue a point with a gay or lesbian and they just jostle with u for fun. :lol:

So let’s just cut to the chase…u str8?

SlimUno - oh no she didn't

August 16th, 2012
8:58 am

disco

August 16th, 2012
9:05 am

C – right? I don’t even like cats but cat man almost makes it sound like if you don’t get one you’ll be missing out. that’s a salesman for you.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 16th, 2012
9:05 am

Ex “So let’s just cut to the chase…u str8?”

“If u are a guy in Atlanta,40 + plus and single,it’s even more scrutiny before a chic even gets on board to even wanting to date u……

is he str8…how u know…he divorced….he got a baby mama..where he live(not midtown)…etc… ”

Just like the why are you single question, that’s another question that I don’t even bother to answer. Just give the WTF face and move on (LOL)

@ms_jones74

August 16th, 2012
9:07 am

I usually don’t answer the question. I make a joke and laugh it off. There might be a few reasons why I am single and given some time I might expound on them, but I’m already on the defensive and uncomfortable because I feel like the real question is “what’s wrong with you?”

Kimmy

August 16th, 2012
9:07 am

I hate the question. I usually answer with the truth. I broke up with someone _____ months ago and have been spending time and having fun with my friends and family. I just haven’t given it any effort. I never ask the question. Everyone at some point in their lives (me in my 30’s) have been single at a point so it goes without saying. Ever sport has time outs.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
9:09 am

Ever sport has time outs<<<< Yes indeed!!!!

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:15 am

disco – I burst out laughing. For real.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
9:16 am

Morning, all.

@Slim: What’s wrong?!?!

disco

August 16th, 2012
9:17 am

re folks commenting on your singleness. I was speaking with a great aunt (grandfather’s sister recently) and she went through the spiel of my not being married yet and even went so far to tell me I was going to be an old maid. I laughed it off because what can you really say to your grandfather’s sister? anyway, I told my grandmother about the conversation and – this is why I love my grandma – my grandma had some words. she was like “that so and so gotta lot of nerve calling anybody anything” and then commenced to start running dirt from 40/50 years ago.

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:18 am

All I could hear was that kid that sells newspapers on the corner or peanuts at a game.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
9:19 am

LOL@disco. One thing you can say about grandmas, they ALWAYS got your back. :) Miss both of mine everyday.

SlimUno - oh no she didn't

August 16th, 2012
9:22 am

ITL – The newleywed chick deleted me from fb lol

SlimUno - oh no she didn't

August 16th, 2012
9:23 am

newlywed not newleywed…

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
9:23 am

By the by, any of you foodies/arties who are interested, the Cobb Energy Centre (near the Galleria) is hosting their annual “Access the Arts Open House” this Sunday and Monday. Info they sent is below.

Free and open to the public. Bring the family on Sunday from
1:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. or your office co-workers on Monday
between 11:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. Enjoy local restaurant
samplings, and enter to win special prize drawings and
giveaways offered only at this event. Free parking!

Bluzgirl

August 16th, 2012
9:25 am

Haven’t we had this topic before recently? Sure seems like it.

I guess I’ve been asked why I’m single by friends, but don’t remember a man asking me that. I’m single because the right guy hasn’t swept me off my feet yet. I’m single because it is better than being in the terrible relationship I had before…

O/T already…So…Magnum told me last night he likes me. My question is…he was drunk, does it still count? :-) I’ve gotten the vibe for the past week and a half that he does like me! He’s on his way home today…

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:29 am

Bluzy – What’s the saying, a drunken heart speaks a sober mind? Or something along that line.

Get it, get it girl….

Big Brother J

August 16th, 2012
9:29 am

Most men ask that question because it gives them a direction to take their approach. To many of us (mainly the ones who don’t have a clue) it is a conversation extender and a way to advertise ourselves against the competition. It is also the silliest and most thoughtless question to ask.

Next time someone asks you that, tell him that the question is unoriginal and thoughtless, and go back to sipping your drink. He will either find a way to rebound politely or leave.

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:34 am

Bluzy – Was it in the form of your firing a round of questions at him or did he just up and out with it?

Exiled!

August 16th, 2012
9:36 am

ITL is obviously hating the topic!

Food..? :???:

Really,u hate the question?

Exiled!

August 16th, 2012
9:38 am

Is it raining over there Atl?

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:39 am

It’s raining…..CATS!!!

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:39 am

Still waiting on the dogs to drop…get it? Raining cats and dogs??

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
9:41 am

I hate cats C~

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
9:43 am

I will buy a bird though if I grow old alone lol hopefully I will have a husband and a bird though~ 0_o lol

Celisea

August 16th, 2012
9:43 am

Lady – Me too. And if there are any dogs, they will live in within the fenced yard…BUT THAT’S IT. NOT in the house. Nuh uh…I’m old school.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
9:45 am

@Ex: Not hating the topic, just not really interested.

Into the Light

August 16th, 2012
9:48 am

Besides, there are bloggers who live/work in the Smyrna/North Atlanta area that might be interested. Wasn’t it Kimmie who said just the other day that she and hubs try to take the kids out at least once a month to try something new? ;)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 16th, 2012
9:50 am

I have a dog named Diamond and she is outside with her wild behind. she is a dover man pincher mixed lab #mut I know lol but she is chocolate brown……she is a good guard dog with all her barking…..

disco

August 16th, 2012
9:53 am

ITL – re something new and food. I just purchased a living social coupon for a restaurant not to far from me that I can’t wait to try out. and to think, if I hadn’t seen it on living social I probably would have continued to drive past it forever as I never stop in that particular little shopping center.

lady – I remember back in the day when Dobermans were the lick. everybody had one. then the rotts and the pits took over. don’t see too many Dobermans anymore.