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Anger issues a deal breaker?

I just read about NFL player Chad Johnson’s domestic violence arrest over the weekend. He has been released from the Dolphins and his wife of 41 one days is filing for divorce. Needless to say, he is having a very bad week.

Johnson apparently has a history of physically fighting with his significant other. I wonder if single people bother asking specifically about their date’s history with physical violence?

I know it’s not the sexiest topic, but it could be quite informative to ask a general question about arrests and domestic violence. Shouldn’t a history of violence and anger be a red flag of something to come?

Would you want to get involved with someone if you knew they had problems controlling their temper?

We all go through human emotions, but real anger issues in a relationship is a recipe for disaster. Why do so many of us overlook it when we see that kind of behavior?

When you consider bad dating behavior, is it likely the same thing would happen in a marriage or a committed relationship?

I remember my Grandmother always telling me that if something about a man bothers me during dating stage, imagine that same thing magnified and worse when I marry him. If the issues are there before marriage, they get deeper and more painful when you are tied to one another.

What do you do when there is an issue you are dealing with in your date’s personality that could prove to be a really tough challenge when things get more serious?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

253 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
1:16 pm

Leggs, women are the ones that come up with that title, you know us mean always waiting to pounce!

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
1:17 pm

@Leggs: If we wind up in the restroom at the same time (alone!) an evil eye is not all I’m pulling out. That heffa betta have quick reflexes. I kid, I kid. :lol: :lol:

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
1:20 pm

My “y” keeps getting stuck

I should be so lucky….. LOLOLOL :oops:

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
1:28 pm

ITL what you trying to say

My “y” keeps getting stuck

I should be so lucky….. LOLOLOL

SlimUno

August 15th, 2012
1:28 pm

Afternooner folks! ;-)

Leggs

August 15th, 2012
1:28 pm

I know, Single.

ITL ~ I can only imagine how fast her reflexes would have to be (lol).

Girl, yyou’re a mess with wanting your “y” stuck…that’s funn

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
1:31 pm

@Stamps: I’m saying what I’m saying. Mami’s hit a dry spell. :( LOL

@Leggs: Yeah, although I’ve only ever been in one physical fight, in my mind I still see me saying, “Skank, meet tile. Tile, Skank” as I throw her to the ground and pull off her wig.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 15th, 2012
1:35 pm

Hey Leggs my Dearest did the little lady get off to a good start?

Single you know you can’t get nothing from a play sister.

Here I go again what is having a Y stuck? Guess y’all can tell I’m not up on all these references.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
1:37 pm

okay Black, you do know what eating at the y is? it’s just getting stuck there

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 15th, 2012
1:38 pm

Pull out the glossary and let it stay out for my sake.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
1:39 pm

the Y, a woman on her back with her legs open, (now I don’t feel so bad about the camel toe) LOL

Leggs

August 15th, 2012
1:40 pm

BF ~ we leave Friday morning. Took the rest of the week to eliminate stress on my part with last minute running around. She’s too excited to leave home (lol). It’s her time to soar, though!

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
1:40 pm

LOL@BF. You’re just in vacation-mode and too distracted to try to figure stuff out. Your body is here, but your mind is in Tunica. :)

Leggs

August 15th, 2012
1:41 pm

Thanks for the laugh, BF, asking about the Y. I thought that was given (lol).

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
1:42 pm

@Stamps: Nuh uh. You don’t get a pass on that. You knew what it was….you just wanted somebody to whisper dirty nothings in your ear. :LOL:

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
1:43 pm

@Leggs: Did you give her a copy of Dr. Seuss’s “Oh the Places You’ll Go” to take with her??? Great book for occasions like this.

Leggs

August 15th, 2012
1:46 pm

Ummm, never heard of the book, ITL. Will look for it while I’m out…

Peace! Hope to check in later or tomorrow!

BF ~ I now think you’re up to all the new terminolog

Leggs

August 15th, 2012
1:47 pm

Ok, can someone loan me a Y.

Wait, wait, nevermind!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 15th, 2012
1:49 pm

LOL…..@Single you shouldn’t feel bad, hell it’s a lot of sht I have no clue what it is. I don’t give a hoot about being the hippest or the most knowledgeable. I do like your interpretation, she can be on her back or stomach don’t matter.

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
1:52 pm

(ITL now clamping her hands over her ears while BF talks about s-e-x)

La la la la la la la la la laaaa…..

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 15th, 2012
1:53 pm

Light vacation couldn’t get here any sooner, I am counting the minutes to freedom.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 15th, 2012
1:55 pm

LOL……..@Light, you should be proud of me I know what a stuck Y is now.

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
1:55 pm

I’m jealous, BF! :(

And how is it that “Y” and “CT” have been thrown out there, and no Swiss???

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
1:57 pm

Okay ITL, start whispering (LOL)

kimmie

August 15th, 2012
1:59 pm

Afternoon Gang!!

It’s crazy up in this camp I work in, but I’m handling it!

Light – Go, look fly, and like disco says, find a FINE date!!! Oh, and F— what others might think!

I know you all are off topic, but I was reading some of the earlier posts. It’s wierd what people start to think “normal” is. Like folks who are abused as kids think that is normal and become abusers. I’ve never understood that concept of human behavior, especially the urge to repeat something that didn’t make you or others around you feel good. I have a friend right now whose ex husband beat her, used to give her black eyes. They broke up and she has remarried. Her new hubs in not abusive at all. But any time she hears about any other female in an abusive situation she immediately tries to make excuses for the male! It’s crazy! I’ve of the mindset of CC – a man doesn’t put his hands on you in anger, period, but not her. She can be a little opinionated and will argue her point down. She told me she’s always been like that. I asked her “so that made it okay for him to hit you, because you are outspoken?” When I put it like that to her, she was speechless.

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
2:08 pm

@BF: Nope. No can do. Cannot be thinking about my BBB thinking about girl parts. That is just wrong on so many levels.

@Stamps: A white horse fell in the mud…… (dirty enough?) :lol:

@kimmie: I just might do that. The more I think about it, the more I want to go. But I’m torn. Meh….I’ll figure it out before Saturday.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 15th, 2012
2:11 pm

“a man doesn’t put his hands on you in anger, period,”

Hey Kimmie, no ifs ands or buts about this. My dad made sure I didn’t get caught up in this trap.

disco

August 15th, 2012
2:12 pm

ITL – well you know my original stance was that you should go. sounds like you just need a little emotional support to get through. if you can’t find a suitable date take a trusted girlfriend. you won’t be alone and she’ll have your back. y’all can talk about how the new girl has on ugly shoes.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 15th, 2012
2:15 pm

disco I can see you now with Light, girl look that shoes she got on. You know you can take her I got your back………LOL

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
2:19 pm

Ok, Light, I had to check out for a minute and am now sitting in court on the iPad reading your deliema. I am with disco- go for it. Maybe eye candy from work would like to escort you? You know, just as friends…

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
2:21 pm

@disco: I thought about that, too. It’s a good idea…..Would be the most fun with a fine a$$ date, because I know it would eat him up a little. Whether he’s with someone or not, I know he keeps up with me. Yep, he does, I’ve heard it from his friends.

Dang, BF. You’re good at that! If you weren’t going to Miss, I’d take you. LOL

disco

August 15th, 2012
2:21 pm

BF – I wouldn’t disrespect the wedding but I wouldn’t be past playing a mind game or two. the new chick will probably be checking extra hard for light but not really sweating me so I’m sure I could sneak something in there.

CC agreed with me. Dreams – where you at? duck, the sky is falling.

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
2:22 pm

@CC: I don’t know…..Banana Pudding and I haven’t even been out for a drink yet. A first date to a wedding might be a little too much to ask…..

Wiser Demi

August 15th, 2012
2:25 pm

An individual with anger issues, is nothin more than a childish individual who often refuses to learn the art of ‘Adult Communication’.

Y’ALL HAVE A GOOD ONE!

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
2:26 pm

Nah. Make it a friendly outing. “Hey, we can stop by this friend’s wedding and then dip out to do something else” that will eat the ex up even more. Not oly did you come with eye candy, you showed your support for the bride and groom in an untenable situation, and then you can get to know banana pudding better. Sounds like a win win to me!

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
2:26 pm

LOL@disco. You mean like while I distract her, you put itching powder on her chair? :)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
2:27 pm

seems time stopped! lol

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
2:28 pm

Hmmmm….okay, CC. I have to call him later about a meeting we’re having. I might just see if I can slide that in. And the man does dress fine, too….that would have the Ex’s mom turning around to stare, because she loves a sharp-dressed man.

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
2:29 pm

Besides, if you take diso I’ll have to clear my calendar to rep y’all in court at a later date. There’s your blog deliema disco! Should I wear pants or a skirt to court? Lmao! But I’d do it for free cause I can’t stand those “frenemys” either.

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
2:32 pm

@CC: They’ve known each other longer than he and I have. At a BBQ at his BFF’s house, she was all over him until she saw me standing there. And then she was like, “Oh hey, ITL! You know Dumb@ss and I have known each other forever!! He’s just like a brother to me!” Mmmm hmmmm. I don’t know about where y’all are from, but where I’m from you don’t bang your brother.

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
2:32 pm

@Lady – I know, right? I might need a siesta.

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
2:32 pm

Just because you invite him to a wedding doesn’t mean you want to marry him. Put it on that level of “I would really like to get to know you better and you can do me a huge favor by giving me a reason to skip out of this wedding after I make an appearance” Kill two birds with one stone!

Willie Dynamite

August 15th, 2012
2:32 pm

Dipping back in for a minute.

Slim – yeah I saw the poem and good work.

ITL – saw your poem too and no comment. hahaha

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 15th, 2012
2:33 pm

Lady @2:27 please don’t say that I’m ready to skip town……..LOL

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
2:33 pm

Lol! Is she from Alabama? Oh, ahem, sorry! I mean, Roll Tide! Lol!

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
2:35 pm

Your ex is dumb@ss? Mine is @sshat. Maybe they’re related? Hmmm….

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
2:35 pm

C’mon, WD!! I thought it was some of my best work. How about this one?

Cakes are delicious
And so are tortes
Gators look stupid
With mullets and jorts!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 15th, 2012
2:36 pm

LOL……..@Comon I’ll bail them out and you can represent.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
2:37 pm

lol BF!!!! ITL today has been a drag even though I have been productive~

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
2:37 pm

(ITL now sneaking into BF’s car) Mississippi or BUST! :)

@CC: Maybe. His brothers are both wonderful, but he might have a cousin or two that falls in the @sshat category.