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Anger issues a deal breaker?

I just read about NFL player Chad Johnson’s domestic violence arrest over the weekend. He has been released from the Dolphins and his wife of 41 one days is filing for divorce. Needless to say, he is having a very bad week.

Johnson apparently has a history of physically fighting with his significant other. I wonder if single people bother asking specifically about their date’s history with physical violence?

I know it’s not the sexiest topic, but it could be quite informative to ask a general question about arrests and domestic violence. Shouldn’t a history of violence and anger be a red flag of something to come?

Would you want to get involved with someone if you knew they had problems controlling their temper?

We all go through human emotions, but real anger issues in a relationship is a recipe for disaster. Why do so many of us overlook it when we see that kind of behavior?

When you consider bad dating behavior, is it likely the same thing would happen in a marriage or a committed relationship?

I remember my Grandmother always telling me that if something about a man bothers me during dating stage, imagine that same thing magnified and worse when I marry him. If the issues are there before marriage, they get deeper and more painful when you are tied to one another.

What do you do when there is an issue you are dealing with in your date’s personality that could prove to be a really tough challenge when things get more serious?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

253 comments Add your comment

lolalee

August 15th, 2012
11:16 am

alrighty then I gotta step out but its been an interesting conversation. happy day all

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
11:16 am

Comon, how many adults/clients do you see everyday that it’s always someone, or something else s fault for what happened. It would be so nice if people own up to their adult situation, but society doesn’t want that for some reason.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
11:18 am

Indeed~~~~~~ CBT is all about RE-FRAMING yourself~

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
11:19 am

Disco @ your 11:14, we actually agree on something today, (about being an addict) (LOL)

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
11:20 am

@WD: You didn’t say comment on my poem yesterday. I thought it was one of my better efforts. :)

Seeing Sassy’s and then disco’s “I wish a so and so would……” reminds me of Cedric the Entertainer and his “hope vs. wish” bit. Cracks me up everytime.

disco

August 15th, 2012
11:28 am

y’all know what? I’m about sick of folks acting like it’s almost the end of the world when they agree with me. lol. I may be on the crazy side and a bit crazy but my views aren’t that throwed off, are they?

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
11:29 am

S/H~ The majority of the clients that I see that are repeat offenders have that mentality. It was the officer’s fault because he stopped them for no reason, or if so and so had just come and picked me up like I asked, I wouldn’t be here. Etc. Etc. Etc. Hence the reason I have very low tolerance for that.

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
11:30 am

disco~ Definitely not. I agree with you whole-heartedly! Now, I’ll be checking into Peachford later today so you guys might miss me for awhile… :lol:

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
11:35 am

my views aren’t that throwed off, are they?

Not to me, disco. You may be more straightforward with your opinion than others, but I like folks that cut to the chase instead of sugarcoating stuff. Shoot, I have to play the PC game at work, and it gets OLD.

disco

August 15th, 2012
11:36 am

my second crazy was supposed to be abrasive. still y’all got the point. CC – is Peachford the “crazy house”?

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
11:36 am

@CC: I’d offer to visit, but they’d probably keep me. :(

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
11:43 am

disco~ yup. Chater Peachford has a crazy house.

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
11:44 am

ITl~ I think we could really have a blast in that joint and raise some ruckus! :lol:

disco

August 15th, 2012
11:47 am

CC – I’ll pass on the field trip to the crazy house. I can do “ha ha, girl you so crazy” crazy but I don’t think I’d do to well with the “I heard a voice and it told me to chop up my mother and eat her kidneys” crazy.

Comon Cents

August 15th, 2012
11:54 am

You mean, you don’t hear those voices too? Damn, I thought we were vibin… LMAO!

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
11:57 am

@disco: Yeah, I’m pretty sure they house the organ-eaters in a separate wing. :lol: :lol:

Okay, so since the blog has slowed to a crawl, I’ll throw out my current dilema. I’ve been invited to a wedding on Saturday, and I really want to go because I love the bride and the groom. Unfortunately, it’s the ex’s family so he will be there and likely have Skankee Doodle Dandy in tow.
To go or not to go? Should I just send a gift and my regrets?

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
11:57 am

Oh…forgot to mention that I DO NOT have a date. That makes a difference to me for some reason….

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
11:59 am

hmmmmmm ITL me personally will send a gift and maybe join them for dinner in days to come a more one on one imitate and quaint atmosphere…….Will you feel like an outsider even though you know the bride and groom?!? I know that feeling and I don’t like it so I don’t subscribe to it but I don’t disappear I will find them in my own time~

disco

August 15th, 2012
12:00 pm

ITL – if you really want to go – then go. if the lack of a date is the issue, find one. if you can’t find one, suck it up and go alone. I’m not even going to feed into all of the why not having a date bothers you. it’s not important. go to the wedding, go to the reception, dance, eat cake. have fun.

DreamsMaterialize

August 15th, 2012
12:00 pm

Disco @ your 11:14, we actually agree on something today, (about being an addict) (LOL)
disco guess it ain’t just me. haha now stop being so agreeable!

disco

August 15th, 2012
12:01 pm

lol. right off the bat. two conflicting responses. gotta love individuality.

btw, I can’t wait to have a dilemma for the blog.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
12:03 pm

I just ate soup and crackers and now I want a blanket to snooze~ lol another year is upon me! ***one eye open~

disco

August 15th, 2012
12:04 pm

dreams – see my 11:28. LOL. it’s not the end of the world.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
12:05 pm

hmmmm ITL follow your heart~ Do what you really want to do and do it confidently sis~ you know you~ :-)

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
12:06 pm

Yeah….I think I’m going with Lady’s suggestion. It’s not that I would feel like an outsider, per se, but let’s just say I would feel far better walking in there on the arm of some eye candy than slinking in by myself while he’s sitting there with her.

I know it probably sounds immature, but I just don’t there to be any thought in anyone’s head that I still have feelings for him.

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
12:07 pm

Lady – I cooked last night. On a school night! I was so pleased with myself. :lol: I had leftovers today and it was even better.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
12:09 pm

lol ITL me personally would long to go to be nosy but that isn’t cool just wasting time and wish I wouldn’t have gone~ been there done that and can’t no more lol

DreamsMaterialize

August 15th, 2012
12:10 pm

it’s not the end of the world.
disco Yeah I know it’s not the end of the world, but it is funny…to me at least. I’ve had my laugh at your expense though, so we can move on now. ;-) (now watching for the right hook)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
12:10 pm

LOL ITL I ate a turkey sandwich last night and said thank you Jesus and went to bed lol this week has been busy one day I will catch up lol

keep cooking sis~

GracieL

August 15th, 2012
12:18 pm

Anger issues are a big red flag. RUN! If someone is angry that you didn’t respond to his or her text message within ten minutes, or that you won’t commit right this minute to whatever it is that person is demanding, these are early clues of controlling behavior and anger issues. Cut loose, keep going, and don’t look back. Unstable person will find a new target soon enough.

disco

August 15th, 2012
12:18 pm

aww light. first off I agree with you doing what you are comfortable with but to say you really want to go but that you are leaning toward not going just because of what others might think is kind of whack (note I didn’t say immature – lol). I’d go and just be extra fly so that the new girlfriend would be afraid to mingle. she’d be all insecure and holding on to old boy the whole time and I’d be laughing to myself while having the good time I went to have. of course, all that could backfire. you could go and get all mushy and then get to feeling all alone on top of feeling all mushy. you could have a wardrobe malfunction and be embarrassed in front of all those people. okay, my imagination is running away with me. I’m done.

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
12:25 pm

@disco: See there? You nailed it. I don’t mind her feeling some kinda way. Matter of fact, I prefer it and relish it. There’s some more backstory here that y’all don’t know, but let’s just say she was the girl smiling in my face while plotting evil. Anyway, wedding get me a little choked up in general and I’m sure baby girl’s would be no different. If I got all mushy squisy and then the heel fell off my left shoe and my bra strap broke and started hanging out, it would be too much. ;)

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
12:26 pm

ILT I was think that reading Disc’s post……a wedding is an emotional affair……….I feel you to with the past history too….its a fine line but you know your levels of taking calculated risks~

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
12:27 pm

meant Disco’s sorry Hi there Disco too!!!!

Sassy Me...The blacker the berry :-)

August 15th, 2012
12:30 pm

Seeing Sassy’s and then disco’s “I wish a so and so would……” reminds me of Cedric the Entertainer and his “hope vs. wish” bit

ITL..that’s what I was thinking about when I posted that…Cedric the Entertainer was funny as heyal with that :lol:

disco

August 15th, 2012
12:31 pm

oh. you are right. the backstory definitely adds to the whole situation. still it sounds like if you could find a fine A date to take it would be all good. it’s short notice but here’s to finding a fine A date. lol.

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
12:31 pm

Yeah, part of wants to be like Eddie Murphy with an ice cream cone “wanna lick? PSYCH!” but the other part of me knows that I can be fragile, especially where his family is concerned. I already know his niece, daughter, and mama will be first in the hug-ITL line. That could be a boost, or a boo-hoo fest.

D’oh.

Lady~cool beans :-)

August 15th, 2012
12:31 pm

Waving @ Sassy!!!!

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
12:36 pm

btw, I can’t wait to have a dilemma for the blog.

Hmm should I cut him up or should I cut him down, or should I just get cousin Ray Ray to take him out!!

Disco’s dilemma (LOL)

disco

August 15th, 2012
12:37 pm

S/H – LOL. good one. by the way I don’t have a cousin ray ray though I do have a “play” cousin named ray ray.

Sassy Me...The blacker the berry :-)

August 15th, 2012
12:45 pm

Waving back @ you Lady!!!

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
12:48 pm

Heeey Sassy! :)

LOL @Stamps and disco. I love my play cousins. Don’t have one named Ray Ray, but I do have Jay Jay. :)

Bluzgirl

August 15th, 2012
12:49 pm

ITL – I’m thinking it would be a good idea to just send a gift. I don’t think I would be comfortable seeing the ex with a new girl, especially if she’s evil!

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
12:51 pm

I don’t have any play cousins, but I have some play sisters (thought that would stop me from asking for some) (LOL)

disco

August 15th, 2012
12:54 pm

play sisters? S/H – I’m tempted to ask “what’s that”. come on now. if you aren’t related and you are cool like that or were raised up like that then you are play cousins. where you from that you have a play sister?

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
12:56 pm

@Bluz: You don’t know the half of how evil this heffa is. But yeah, I think I might just send a gift. Or invite them to dinner like Lady suggested. *sigh*

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 15th, 2012
1:06 pm

Disco play sisters is another way of saying you’re not my type, “we’re so close we’re just like siblings, and you don’t have sex with your siblings” (LOL)

Into the Light

August 15th, 2012
1:07 pm

Leggs

August 15th, 2012
1:14 pm

“Play sisters” sounds like a man waiting in the wings for that pristine time when he might be able to pounce (lololol).

HST ~ thanks…I have a daughter. Waiting for the slow urchin to get dressed so we can go clothes shopping.

ITL ~ I’m going to side with disco. If you really want to support the bride and groom, then do that. Does not matter in the least what’s in the minds of others. They will think what they want. Go and enjoy yourself. Smile, be gracious and leave our “evil eye” in your purse. If you two should wind up in the restroom at the same time, then you can pull it out and use it on her (lolol)…that was funny to me!

Good afternoon.

Leggs

August 15th, 2012
1:16 pm

Not “our” evil eye, yours. My “y” keeps getting stuck.