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Dating: The returning ex

There always seems to be one constant in our dating lives: the ex that won’t stay gone. It’s almost as if they have some kind of silent alarm that rings the moment we are completely over them. They show up and say the right things and suddenly we make a bad decision in a weak moment.

What is it about the one that resurfaces and makes us forget the reason we broke up with them? Is it ever a good idea to reunite with a former flame?

What would you do if your “one that got away” came back and seems to have changed? Do you give it another try or find a way to keep your distance?

Have you ever reunited with an ex and things turned out great? What do you think made the difference the second (third?) time around?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

236 comments Add your comment

HST

August 14th, 2012
12:52 pm

CC, do you think my tequila isn’t agave? Reposado or Añejo Esquire?

czBrat ♀

August 14th, 2012
12:53 pm

lol @ light.

comon, prob with your history is that some exes will make the minstrel show a standard response any/every time you approach for “extras”. only the decent human beings willingly do all they can.
or those you take to task … come hell or high water!
but stay blessed and able to do for yours.

Into the Light

August 14th, 2012
12:57 pm

LOL. disco ALWAYS keeps it real. I respect that. :)

@HST: I’m about to head out for a late lunch (actually, I’m going to Ross, but I might eat while I’m out). But I’ll have a drink when I get back. Something refreshing….maybe a vodka lemonade?

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:00 pm

CC, well those are some very valid points. I completely agree with you, but we both know trying to change a grown person whom was a former love into a proper grown-up is usually an exercise in masochism.

You would have better luck trying to inspire them to rise to the occasion. Placate their manliness…

SlimUno

August 14th, 2012
1:01 pm

It’s very refreshing (for me) to see that a man can cry sometimes.

Leggs – We just had this converstation the other day. I’ve seen my ex cry but not the current beau. It would be nice to see that he feels he can open up on that level around me but lawd knows i’m not wishing for anything devastating to happen.

Comon Cents

August 14th, 2012
1:04 pm

HST~ Resposado, please and thank you. I am not interested in masochism, but a little sadism at this point might be in order. What do you mean by “placate his manliness”?

czBrat ♀

August 14th, 2012
1:07 pm

slim, it’s ok to see that vulnerability and know he feels he can go there with you (once or twice, under extreme circumstance).
thereafter, imma have to insist you button that sh!t up and keep a lid on it.

:lol: don’t mind me folks. the ex hubs used to say i was raised by russians. :lol:

SlimUno

August 14th, 2012
1:12 pm

cz – Yeah, I am surely not hoping for a town crier…I couldn’t handle a dude feeling the need to shed tears more than me. lol

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:16 pm

ITL, I’ll have one waiting for ya.

CC, placate as in, kind of like be a man, so and so did this, did you see what his father did?, ___’s father bought the team refreshments, ____’s father hasn’t missed a practice – even though he’s working lots, your son needs you, your son needs help with plays, your son needs some money to go out, and such…

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:18 pm

Hey CC, (he slides the shot) one Resposado. Wait…here’s your lime lady…

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:21 pm

Virtual drinking is fun.

Remember when everyone was having jobs for the blog? I wanna be ‘The Driver.’

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 14th, 2012
1:22 pm

CZbrat, I’m playing catch up, but I’m guy that loves his freedom

kimmie

August 14th, 2012
1:24 pm

The Most Interesting Man In The World:

” I don’t often drink beer, but when I do I prefer Dos Equis”

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 14th, 2012
1:29 pm

Real men don’t cry (LOL)

Comon Cents

August 14th, 2012
1:32 pm

Yeah, HST, I don’t think placating his manliness would work. He’s not the type. He would be like “I don’t give a damn what they’re doing. They must have the time/money/etc. to do those things” I swear to God, the mistakes of the past… SMDH.

Thanks for the shot. Can I get another please? Make it a double.

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:33 pm

The Most Interesting Man In The World:

Bigfoot takes pictures of him.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 14th, 2012
1:33 pm

kimmie

August 14th, 2012
1:36 pm

HST – Presidents take HIS birthday off!

kimmie

August 14th, 2012
1:37 pm

His beard grows until it’s exactly the right length and then it stops.

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:37 pm

SSSSSSSSLLLLLLLIIIIIIDDDDDEEEEEEE………………….

Well, then at least you know and can deal with “lowered expectations.” Some men. If ever heard a guy say such words like you described, I’d call him out. I have a word for people like that as well CHRONIC UNDERACHIEVERS.

Good part is, your son has an educated, experienced, and professional mother – that’s irreplaceable.

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:39 pm

I love those commercials Kimmie!

Willie Dynamite

August 14th, 2012
1:40 pm

Afternoon All,
Topic – the only real true ex I have is my Sons mother. We parted amicably and are cool with each other. We both are married with kids and the spouses are cool with each other as well.
We never played after the breakup so I don’t think we would ever go that route again regardless of the circumstances.
Side topic – I think you should pay for the kid to play (told you that before). Not taking a swipe but you agreed to pay for extracurriculars. Now since they raised the price you want to cry foul because he won’t step up. I personally think he (should) just cause but he is honoring your agreement. Should he come back to you if tuition or school clothes cost more (or whatever it is he is paying). Honor the agreement until you get it changed.

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:42 pm

The Most Interesting Man in the World…

He’s fluent in all languages, including three that only he speaks.
Midgets look up to him.
Ghosts fear him.
He tips an astonishing 100%.
Once while sailing around the world, He discovered a short cut.
When sailing the wind is always at his back.
Panhandlers give him money.
He does Calculus in his head.
He always rounds to five decimal points.
He divorced his wife because he caught her littering.
His 7th Inning stretch could last through the 9th….
He’s never not sat up straight.
As a toddler he taught others to walk.
At the book store people crowd to see him read.
Athletes seek his autograph.
His passport requires no photo.
He can keep one eye on the past while looking into the future.
When fishing at some point he has to call it quits.
He’s never found a penny that wasn’t heads up.
When he drives his new car off the lot it increases in value.
His 1913 Duesenberg still has that new car smell.
Though he can’t walk on water he’s never slipped on ice.
Dolphins love swimming with him.

kimmie

August 14th, 2012
1:42 pm

Me too HST!LOL!!

czBrat ♀

August 14th, 2012
1:45 pm

oopsy! single, please accept my apologies for this —> “single/disco, i think you ladies probably have a pretty good handle on where i’m at. earlier post.
chalk it up to my A.D.D. :oops:

Comon Cents

August 14th, 2012
1:46 pm

HST~ That’s what makes it crazy to me. His father is educated/professional. Advanced degree and the whole 9. Just doesn’t make sense. You know the old saying: You can lead a fool to knowledge, but you can’t make him think.

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:47 pm

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:49 pm

CC, then there isn’t an excuse in the world. Take his ass to court, and make him accountable to the degree that he should be.

Here, have another Esquire…SSSSSSSLLLLLLLIIIIIIDDDDDDDEEEEEE………….

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:53 pm

24 more hours to go.

I haven’t had sex since the 22nd of May.

Willie Dynamite

August 14th, 2012
1:55 pm

The Most Interesting Man in the World…

Would have trouble getting a date around here.
Girl he just too good to be true
He has too many female friends
He’s arrogant and always right.
I can’t stand his azz. Hahaha

HST

August 14th, 2012
1:56 pm

WD, too funny.

kimmie

August 14th, 2012
1:57 pm

SlimUno

August 14th, 2012
1:58 pm

Willie Dynamite

August 14th, 2012
2:01 pm

Slim _ why not what?

Willie Dynamite

August 14th, 2012
2:06 pm

Plus he’s divorced and short. There goes another 20% of the blog ladies. Hahaha

SlimUno

August 14th, 2012
2:06 pm

WD – oops, HST said he hasn’t had any nookie since May. Other than that, i’d like to know why the day is draggin ass.

disco

August 14th, 2012
2:10 pm

hold up!!! wait a MFing minute!!! y’all been passing out drinks and I didn’t get one??? what kind of low down, good for nothing, dirty, backstabbing, good for nothing folks have I been consorting with? do I need to make new virtual friends? greedy bastids. LOL.

czBrat ♀

August 14th, 2012
2:10 pm

gotta figure out what to do for lunch coz that coffee now has me shaking like a dope fiend.

Willie Dynamite

August 14th, 2012
2:14 pm

Slim – break us off with a poem. None of that mushy isht plz.

Disco – you are 1 funny chick.

HST

August 14th, 2012
2:14 pm

“Plus he’s divorced and short.” who is?

That’s right Slim, pathetic for a guy who has whatever he wants, but I’m getting what I want, soon enough.

Is it a serious crime to have consensual sex in a car? What about at the parking garage at Harstfield? Am I going to be on a file – if I get caught – by the TSA?

Bluzgirl

August 14th, 2012
2:15 pm

Good afternoon fellow bloggers!

I came in to work late and have just now been able to catch up some on here.

HST – Congratulations! My heart skipped a beat when I read your story. I love it when a man can cry and show his emotions (at certain times).

Before anything happened between me and Magnum, he shed a couple of tears talking to me about his dog, who he loves very much and has cancer and won’t be around very long. It really touched my heart. I loved it that he could show some vulnerability to me.

On topic – My recent ex is someone who was in my life about 10 years ago. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about that before. I thought he came back into my life for a reason. Well, he did, just not the reason I thought. He seemed to be such a different person because of things he went through in those 10 years. Little did I know it was an act to suck me in! I will NEVER go backwards again!!!

Dang it…there was something else I was going to write and it just left my brain!!! I’m too tired and in pain today. The pain pills are making me a little loopy!

HST

August 14th, 2012
2:15 pm

F that Disco, how may I be of service to you?

Willie Dynamite

August 14th, 2012
2:16 pm

HST – TMIMIW is divorced and short.

Leggs

August 14th, 2012
2:17 pm

Enjoy the rest of the work week guys. Taking the rest of week off to pack my child up for college and run last minute errands.

Ciao ~

HST

August 14th, 2012
2:19 pm

Bluz, I would cry like a baby for my dogs. I don’t care what that makes me. I wouldn’t have felt like that as a younger man, with my other animals, but now, my dogs are my world. My child, my dogs, my GF, and my family – I’m gonna shed a tear.

SlimUno

August 14th, 2012
2:19 pm

WD – Hmmm, haven’t written in a short while…lemme see what I can come up with.

disco

August 14th, 2012
2:20 pm

WD – I’ve heard that before.

HST – it’s early and I’m still working so I’ll have vodka and midori topped off with a tiny little smidgen of pineapple juice. I’ll skip the clear glass though. you’ve got to put mine in the solo cup just in case somebody’s all up in mine.

bluz – I’ve told you to watch out for those sob stories.

Leggs

August 14th, 2012
2:20 pm

“Before anything happened between me and Magnum, he shed a couple of tears talking to me about his dog, who he loves very much and has cancer and won’t be around very long” – Although I know people love their animals, I would feel some kind of strange way if a man cried over his dogs. Only because I’ve never been attached to an animal. I had a co-worker who let her food spoil and put her dead cat in her freezer until she could bury it.

HST

August 14th, 2012
2:22 pm

WD, please explain TMIMIW.

Leggs, how proud you must be. What an accomplishment for you and your son. Have fun and hug him dearly. Congratulations.

HST

August 14th, 2012
2:23 pm

Red cup passed…