Dating: Realitistic expectations
I was listening to my guy friend Paul recently talk about some challenges he faced in dating. He has not been able to meet anyone who meets his standards, which he admits are a little unrealistic.
Paul works as a personal trainer, so he really wants to meet someone who is fit, into healthy living, and wants to help him build his business.
The women he meet are leading busy lives and don’t seem open to the idea of putting their careers on hold to help him with his goals. Is it realistic to expect something like this is dating?
I think a lot of us have an idea of what we want in a mate. We may not admit it but we have a mental checklist of what we consider ideal for us. How realistic are those expectations we have when it comes to dating?
Do you think single people need a reality check about what to expect from dating and relationships?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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292 comments Add your comment
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 13th, 2012
2:55 pm
I know I’m late on this folks but is his soon to be divorced wife the same lady he danced with on DWS?
czBrat ♀
August 13th, 2012
2:56 pm
i was thinking along those lines, kimmie. s/o selected a ring for me according to HIS taste, not mine. turned out i would not have selected the right one for him either. neither of us was offended.
i’m impressed by any couple that can blindly choose the other’s ring and get it just right.
taste in jewelry is already so personal, but wedding rings are in a whole other realm.
kimmie
August 13th, 2012
2:57 pm
Exiled – I really don’t think it’s that serious! Plus, I don’t know about other folks friends but among mine, nobody ever put down anyones ring. We were all just happy for each other. We were all more focused on the dude they were marrying and if they were happy, we were happy. Heck, everyone talks, and we might comment on some random person’s ring we don’t know or a coworkers, just like we do shoes, clothes, etc. But really, who am I to tell someone what their engagement ring should look like?
Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"
August 13th, 2012
2:58 pm
“You set aside a bail money account, get an account with Scratch and Dent and buy tires in bulk but you never, ever, marry crazy good puddy!”
(rotflmao)
Into the Light
August 13th, 2012
3:00 pm
nobody ever put down anyones ring. We were all just happy for each other.
Same here, Kimmie. I keep thinking, though, about the Sex and the City episode where Aidan was goign to porpose and Carrie had seen the ring and hated it (that Miranda had helped pick out).
Jake...SPJTWB
August 13th, 2012
3:00 pm
Leggs, I disagree wholeheartedly, the Bernie Mac show was based of course on him taking his drug addicted sister’s kids, and there was the Fat Albert esque, interview with him at the end to drive home the “message”….plus you had nuiances of each character…, now do a quick comparison of the Bernie Mac Show vs. Meet the Brown’s, see what I mean……I think Tyler’s is a great marketer, but the quality of his work is startng to fall off…but shid, I’m just a critic, my opinion ain’t stopping no checks….lol.
disco
August 13th, 2012
3:01 pm
leggs – my crooklyn response got jacked. the only thing remotely controversial was the use of the word p-u-t-a.
re rings. I remember the cosby show episode when they clowned vanessa’s ring and the soul food episode when damon was going to give terri his grandmother’s ring which was apparently butt ugly.
Exiled!
August 13th, 2012
3:04 pm
Kimmie..but her friend is asking coz she is worried about the ring..
Now if the discussion was she said she and her man are looking at places to buy her house etc..I would say ‘there u go’ a chic thinking bout her married life…
But no…..she thinking bout the Rock!
Meelo would pine,’Its a harbinger for a great calamity’
Divorce!
Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"
August 13th, 2012
3:05 pm
Black, no she’s the crazy PR chick from BB wives
Into the Light
August 13th, 2012
3:05 pm
where Aidan was goign to porpose
Good grief. I have got to start proofing. Looks like I just posted that Aidan would be transforming into a dolphin.
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:06 pm
BF ~ you make me laugh. The two of them look nothing alike. I see you have a life and don’t have time to remember who danced with whom and who bumped uglies the first time she went to see him (lol).
Into the Light
August 13th, 2012
3:07 pm
But wasn’t he engaged to the DWTS dancer? Cheryl, I think her name is???
kimmie
August 13th, 2012
3:08 pm
disco/Brat – That ring stuff can get sensitive. When heirlooms get brought into it, sensitive as well.
I remember some folks talking about when William gave Katherine his mother, Princess Diana’s ring. Some were saying they would have wanted a new ring. I see it different. At that point, with a royal title and all the crown jewels at your disposal, that’s a whole nuther ballgame. You got different priorities other than “did he go to Jared?”LOL!!
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:08 pm
I understand the “premise” of The Bernie Mac Show and what he did for his sister’s children. How the show was DELOIVERED sounded and looked like a bunch of boonfoolery to my ears.
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:08 pm
DELIVERED
Purple Reign
August 13th, 2012
3:10 pm
If she doesn’t like the ring you bought her just headbutt her
disco
August 13th, 2012
3:11 pm
kimmie – re jared. how come a couple of years ago my son calls and told me that he went in jared on a whim. naturally my first question was to ask if there was something he needed to tell me. lol. anyway, he claims he went in and got to designing rings, picking bands, choosing stones. said he was all caught up and now he understand exactly how some women can get caught up.
kimmie
August 13th, 2012
3:12 pm
Exiled – All I’m saying is just because someone brings something up or asked questions about it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a priority over other things. During that engagement/wedding time I asked alot of questions having never been engaged or planned a wedding before. But don’t think for one minute that was my marriage to that man and the life we and the kids would have was not at the top of my thoughts. That’s not the stuff I went around asking questions about though. I took those questions to the source – my fiance’.
kimmie
August 13th, 2012
3:16 pm
disco – My mom designed a ring for herself at the Shane Co. I went there and went to the website and you can get caught up! Since I make jewelry you know I can get caught up!
Exiled!
August 13th, 2012
3:17 pm
Hey Purple!
czBrat ♀
August 13th, 2012
3:18 pm
light, i’ve not seen many SIC episodes, but i distinctly remember the one where she was at the table with her girls saying the ring was “not good. pear shaped with a gold band.(pffft)“. that was hilarious!
Purple Reign
August 13th, 2012
3:19 pm
What’s up bro?
CanalZone what is SIC?
czBrat ♀
August 13th, 2012
3:23 pm
@reign, sex in the city.
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:24 pm
I was going to answer PR, but it has been brought to my attention that I answer too many questions posed for others…I’m working on that (lol).
Into the Light
August 13th, 2012
3:27 pm
@cz: That episode was hilarious. But I also felt a little bad for Aidan because I always liked him best. Most of my girls were all about Big, but not me.
Purple Reign
August 13th, 2012
3:28 pm
Leggs? Really? Nobody puts Leggs in the corner!
disco
August 13th, 2012
3:32 pm
ITL – I still don’t know what the deal was with big. to use my line from the wood – “he ain’t nobody”.
czBrat ♀
August 13th, 2012
3:33 pm
lmao @ leggs. feel free to step in for me anytime you like. after all, there’s no telling when i might ghost in the midst of a blog convo.
light, that whole thing seemed to reinforce the adage that women go for the guys that treat them badly.
Purple Reign
August 13th, 2012
3:35 pm
Nobody got my movie reference?
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:36 pm
I am cracking up, PR!
czBrat ♀
August 13th, 2012
3:36 pm
dirty dancing? oh puleeze.
Into the Light
August 13th, 2012
3:37 pm
@disco and cz: AGREED! But some women like those roller coaster relationships. I used to be that way (to an extent) when I was younger. But now? Nope. Give me Mr. Nice and Settled and I Make You Laugh, Challenge You in Positive Ways, and Keep Life Interesting but Not Crazy any ole day of the week.
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:38 pm
Hopefully everyone got the movie reference. It’s the most famous line in the movie (lol).
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:38 pm
dirty dancing? oh puleeze.
EXACTLY.
Into the Light
August 13th, 2012
3:39 pm
Speaking of Dirty Dancing, the lake scenes were filmed in a town in NC called Lake Lure. Really cute little place. We drove through there on the way from Charlotte to Asheville (taking the scenic route). There was another little town called Bat Cave that we thought was cute. Alas, Alfred and Robin did not make an appearance.
Purple Reign
August 13th, 2012
3:40 pm
I mean sometimes you all talk about movies I don’t know sooo I was just thinking maybe some of you never seen dirty dancing. (running away now because of the implications I just made….lol)
disco
August 13th, 2012
3:44 pm
and speaking of dirty dancing – would y’all believe I’ve never seen it? I’ve tried to watch it but it just doesn’t work for me.
Bluzgirl
August 13th, 2012
3:45 pm
When Dirty Dancing came out, I used to watch it every other day! To the point that I could pretty much recite the lines!
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:45 pm
Alas, Alfred and Robin did not make an appearance. – Cute!
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:47 pm
Dagnabit, disco! Why you have to go an confirm PR’s thought. You would be that one person who hasn’t seen that movie.
SlimUno
August 13th, 2012
3:47 pm
disco – We might have to send you under the stairs until you’ve completed the movie lol
PR – I got your reference and I use it often…it’s one of my favorite movies.
disco
August 13th, 2012
3:49 pm
leggs/slim – I’ve never seen the movie but I do know the line and I did know the line came from that movie. heck, folks can’t stop talking about backing baby into a corner. I’ve also never seen caddyshack. that was random but it came up in conversation recently.
czBrat ♀
August 13th, 2012
3:50 pm
and speaking of boring dirty dancing, was anyone else dismayed by the “performances” at the closing ceremonies?
Into the Light
August 13th, 2012
3:50 pm
LOL@Bluz. Me, too. A friend had it on tape (VHS!!) and we wore that thing OUT!
“Oh, Sylvia..(yes, Mickey)…how do you call your loverboy???”
@disco: You have got to see it. It’s a cult classic.
Purple Reign
August 13th, 2012
3:51 pm
Sure, there’s more than disco! Who else has not seen Drity Dancing?
Bluzgirl
August 13th, 2012
3:52 pm
ITL – That’s awesome! Now, that song is in my head! LOL
Leggs
August 13th, 2012
3:53 pm
I WAS DISMAYED…YES MA’AM
Started out ok, but then those crazy Brits went way left….
Into the Light
August 13th, 2012
3:54 pm
I LOVE that song, Bluz. And that scene makes the movie, IMO.
Bluzgirl
August 13th, 2012
3:54 pm
I had to DVR the closing ceremonies, so hope to get to watch them tonight or tomorrow.
Bluzgirl
August 13th, 2012
3:54 pm
Agreed, ITL! Making me want to watch it again soon!