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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Judging the book

Single people can find themselves scrutinizing each other for every little thing. The problem starts when we find random things to judge each other about. Sometimes we have to find out right away, exactly what the flaws are.

We think that is a way to improve our dating odds, but it can have the opposite effect. Women notice how men have too many female friends. Instead of thinking this as a positive thing, we assume he has slept with all of them. Men notice that a woman has a great career. Instead of thinking she is ambitious and capable, they assume she has no idea how to put someone else first.

Judging a book by it’s cover – we do it all the time, I don’t know if we even know when we do it. Do you think you have a problem judging people too harshly?

Have you ever felt that someone judged you and made assumptions about you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

454 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 9th, 2012
10:30 am

Dreams “There’s no reason for a grown person to not either be maintaining a career, switching from one to another, or pursuing one”

Switching , changing, jumping, what’s the difference?? And people have different circumstances, everyone can not and will not have a career, some people will just have jobs, everyone can’t be skilled, everyone can’t go to college. And these people live great lives also.

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
10:34 am

Cel – I’m here! I resent that remark! LOL

On topic – Who hasn’t judged a book by it’s cover? Who hasn’t been judged by others, whether correctly or incorrectly? That’s about all I have to say…

disco

August 9th, 2012
10:35 am

I ain’t right? lol. forgive me for being presumptuous but i can’t be the only one. I like bluz. she’s funny and she brings entertainment to our days. still, with the exception of the clown tales (classic), she doesn’t bring that much variety. it’s the same dilemma over and over. I just ask that we/someone bring some new flavor to the topic change. did none of the radio shows have good letters this morning?

Leggs

August 9th, 2012
10:36 am

Comon ~ your two-week probation period is up. If you go to the breakroom, you’ll find a gray plastic bag in one of the cabinets. Please don when you feel it necessary to do so!!! Don’t you dare gripe about the size or style. One size fits all, and blue with paisley print was all I had left in stock!

disco

August 9th, 2012
10:37 am

come to think of it – was comon’s debut our last interesting non-bluz topic change? if so, we all need to get some business. lol. we must all live some boring A lives. exiled, fyi, boring doesn’t necessarily translate to lonely.

Celisea

August 9th, 2012
10:38 am

Love you Bluzy :)

Comon Cents

August 9th, 2012
10:39 am

@Leggs~ I will not complain about color, but size? C’mon now! I told you how tall I was! I look like the little monkey that dances for the oran grinder right now. I guess you can just start calling me Abu from Aladdin.

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
10:44 am

disco…you like me? You really like me? LOL! :-)

Willie Dynamite

August 9th, 2012
10:45 am

Morning All,

Topic – ehh, judge on.

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
10:45 am

Love you too Cel!

Leggs

August 9th, 2012
10:48 am

disco ~ speaking of letters, the Strawberry Letter was about a woman who smokes weed all day every day and her husband spends his time at strip clubs! Nephew Tommy told the woman to rent a U-haul and pack her things and park outside Snoop Dogg’s house. That isht was funny!

disco

August 9th, 2012
10:48 am

there’s an old rap song “oh I think they like me”. yep bluz. I like you. not sure how much weight that carries but…

hey WD.

Celisea

August 9th, 2012
10:48 am

WillieD, exactly!

DreamsMaterialize

August 9th, 2012
10:49 am

Switching , changing, jumping, what’s the difference??
I already stated the difference.

everyone can’t be skilled, everyone can’t go to college. And these people live great lives also.
Two issues with this statement. 1) Everyone CAN be skilled in some way. A receptionist, truck driver, or post office worker IS skilled. Even someone working in fast food or retail for an extended period of time is skilled. With enough time and experience, these jobs can become careers like any other. 2) I never said anything about college or its necessity for living a great life. I know and have known plenty people without college degrees who are knowledgeable, hardworking, and have successful careers and fulfilling lives. I also have known degreed individuals whose lives lacked all those things. I don’t think anyone is naive enough to believe that everyone’s circumstances are the same, but hard work, persistence, and faith are commonalities that will allow you successfully navigate any circumstances, no matter how different.

Leggs

August 9th, 2012
10:49 am

Comon ~ I am cracking up…thanks for the laugh. I’m presently looking into other vendors who specializes in S, M, L & XL (roflmao).

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
10:51 am

LOL@Bluz and her Sally Field impersonation. :)

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
10:51 am

ITL…I’m so sleepy today! LOL! Having too much fun playing Draw Something late at night!

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 9th, 2012
10:52 am

disco

August 9th, 2012
10:52 am

leggs – I like snoop. I used to be jamming back in the day all up in a club called the dog pound. he seems like one cool character but dude doesn’t have one ounce of sex appeal to me. I look at him and think he’s all skin, bones, knees, elbows and hair. yuck.

DM – if single/happy never gets it, I get it. (disco cares, if don’t nobody else care). I have got to stop with the rap music references. lol. told y’all I had some hood to work out of my system.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
10:52 am

@Leggs: When is the fall line coming in? I was hoping to get a vest in red and black…you know, so I’d be set for football season. :)

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
10:53 am

ITL – Red and Black, baby!!! I knew I liked you for a reason!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
10:54 am

LOL@Bluz. We are the insomniac twins. :) I was playing Draw Something and flipping back and forth between the Olympics and some TLC nonsense. That “honey boo boo child” family…..smh.

DreamsMaterialize

August 9th, 2012
10:54 am

So, what’s everyone have planned for the weekend? I’m ready to relax.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 9th, 2012
10:55 am

Dreams Umm Okay

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
10:56 am

I watched about 5 minutes of that show and had enough! I went back to the Olympics, then Family Guy…

DreamsMaterialize

August 9th, 2012
11:00 am

disco cares, if don’t nobody else care
Uhoh disco? Was that a small glimpse of softy right there? Ok let me be quiet and take it while it lasts. lol Oh, and you know Snoop Dogg is now Snoop Lion the rastafarian. All di rude boy dem seh bo bo bo bo!!! Jah bless. haha

disco

August 9th, 2012
11:03 am

DM – soft? man, that was my tupac impersonation. LOL. guess I should have hit you up with some NWA.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 9th, 2012
11:05 am

Disco, no I don’t get it, because I’ve known the career switchers and the job jumpers, and it was the same story, I’m starting a new job/changing careers and I love it. 2 years later, I hate my job/career, I’m going to find me something else. No stability in either one. And being a factory worker, I’ve seen to many that have great paying jobs, who think their careers until they end or technology cause you not to be needed any more. Driving a truck is a career, it’s transferable anywhere, working at the post office 20 years sorting mail is not when they come up with a machine that can sort it faster.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
11:05 am

@Bluz: It was like a train wreck…I wanted to turn away, but just couldn’t. Not to judge books by their covers, but that family….WOW! :)

23 more days ’til the best season of the year. :)

lolalee

August 9th, 2012
11:11 am

Screening out some folk is not the same as passing judgment. Like if you’re doing 40 years for homicide I’m not talking to you. You might be a great human (well, except that one felony), but you won’t be the one for me.

My friend just found out the man she’s been dating for a year or so has a FAMILY in another state. Whaaaaat?

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
11:11 am

ITL – I’m going to be in Charleston for the first game…I sure hope it’s televised there! Otherwise, I’ll DVR it and tell everyone I know to not say a word!!!

Leggs

August 9th, 2012
11:13 am

I am reading yesterday’s blog after I left for the day. First, can’t believe you guys went to 14 pages..

ITL ~ I liked your comment about taking a break from dating until you feel you can equally bring to the table what your mate is bringing…..Bluz, did you read that?

All the color comments went way left.

disco

August 9th, 2012
11:15 am

S/H – part of your post actually co-signed what Dreams was trying to say. an argument can be made that drug dealers and prostitutes have enhanced sales, marketing and negotiation skills. they also have a decent handle on math, chemistry, public relations and customer service. lol. either way, it’s neither here nor there. at this point we’ll agree to disagree or at least agree to respect each other’s opinions and move on to other things.

Comon Cents

August 9th, 2012
11:15 am

ITL~ I saw the teasers for that show and couldn’t even bring myself to flip to the channel. I felt like my IQ might go down by doing so. My guilty pleasure would still be “Snapped”. I love that show. And in most cases, I don’t condone it, but I understand. (in my best Chris Rock voice)

Comon Cents

August 9th, 2012
11:17 am

Like if you’re doing 40 years for homicide I’m not talking to you. You might be a great human (well, except that one felony), but you won’t be the one for me.

My ex-husband’s sister is actually married to a guy that killed his first wife and served 23 years for it. When she married him I was like “Who the Eff does that?!?” I couldn’t sleep at night if I married that dude. Girl, I am with you on that one!

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 9th, 2012
11:19 am

yes, Disco, Pharmaceutical Salesperson , and Sex Therapist are great at what they do, and they can transfer those skills to any corner in the USA (LOL)

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
11:20 am

Yes Leggs…I read that… :-)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
11:21 am

@Bluz: I can’t remember what network we’re on for the first game….it might be CSS. I’ll check later.

@Leggs: It’s the right thing to do. For me. It’s not a pretty truth, but it’s where I am right now. Best to recognize it than to end up settling, you know? :)

@CC: Oh, I’m pretty sure I had brain cells dying by the minute. On the other hand, I killed quite a few at happy hour the night before, and the wine at dinner didn’t do the ole synapses any favors, either. :lol:

Comon Cents

August 9th, 2012
11:24 am

Bluz, did you read that?

LOL @ Leggs

All the color comments went way left.

I actually did not make any comments about color (although that is the way it was taken). I made a comment about fashion sense and the next thing I know I’m a raging racist who hates black and thinks it’s shameful.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
11:26 am

@Bluz: It’s on the SEC Network. If your provider doesn’t carry that channel, let me know. I’ll video it for you. Can’t guarantee the camera work won’t be a little shaky (especially the first quarter). LOL

I just can’t wait to hear, “It’s Saturday…..betweeeeen the hedges!” Gives me people bumps just thinking about it.

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
11:31 am

Thanks ITL…I’ll have to check when I get home if I have that network. I may be able to find it at a sports bar at least in Charleston…I know my best friend out there won’t mind sitting in a bar for a few hours inbetween beach visits!!!

Bluzgirl

August 9th, 2012
11:35 am

Also ITL…I have a feeling we may be watching a few games together! I must warn you…I get loud!!!

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 9th, 2012
11:36 am

ugggg Between the Hedges, what a horrible sound, (where those black uniforms) (LOL)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
11:36 am

@Bluz: Bring me some she-crab soup from Hyman Seafood Company! Oh, and if you could snag a praline at Market Street Sweets, that would be great. LOL I haven’t been to Charleston in years, but I do love it. We took a horse and buggy ride down by Rainbow Row and the Battery last time we were there and it was just gorgeous.

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 9th, 2012
11:37 am

Singing “that was the night the lights went out in Ga” (LOL)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
11:37 am

@Bluz: Loud? LOUD? Girl, please. You can’t be too loud for me. I am definitely not a delicate shrinking little violet when it comes to football!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
11:39 am

@Stamps: You must be a fan of Coach Satan Saban and company. Meh. So you’re National Champs…big deal.

Comon Cents

August 9th, 2012
11:40 am

ITL & Bluzy~ We might have to make it a trio at the Dawgs. We are season ticket holders too. Most of the time, the hubby goes (it’s his alma mater) but I make the good rival games. I will definitely be at the Ga/Ga Tech game. Tailgating anyone?

Single and Happy (still can't believe I'm the only one that didn't know what a CT was, I really need to get out more)

August 9th, 2012
11:42 am

ITL one day you guys might be able to find out what a big deal it is (LOL)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2012
11:47 am

@Stamps: Maybe so. Maybe so. (*&$%#)

@CC: Just let me know. I’ll be at every home game, so I’m free as a bird.