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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: How to end FWBs?

I don’t know how many of you have been in this situation, but I am curious to read opinions on it: You have what you thought was the ideal Friends With Benefits arrangement. You are both starting to enjoy the perks that come with the no strings attached set up. Alas, all good things must come to an end. How do you terminate the benefits of Friends with Benefits?

Maybe one of you starts to catch feelings and violate the terms of the FWB arrangement. Or perhaps you have found an actual relationship potential. Whatever the case, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in the amount of drama or hurt feelings.

Have you ever had to end a FWB situation? How did you go about it? Were you straight up and honest? Did you remain friends (with no benefits?) Or did you choose the fade to black, disappearing act approach?

What is the best way to end it? Does it depend on what the benefits were?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

386 comments Add your comment

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
2:24 pm

Because when we go HAM y’all start calling our mamma’s!!!!

Weeeelllll, look who woke up from his nap. :)

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
2:26 pm

Dating: How to end FWBs?

One is to get married (lol).

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
2:26 pm

ITL — Hey, I was trying to be politically correct. :lol:

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
2:27 pm

Naturally, not talking about you SexyC, your upcoming marriage made me think of it.

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
2:31 pm

ITL – you are one funny chick. Can’t wait to be around you, swiss, Cel, Slim and others with a few drinks flowing.

Robert

August 7th, 2012
2:34 pm

@SlimUno – “18. Doggie style preferred (just hit it hard and right or get the heyal out.)”

I like your thinking. You and I could be FWB. What day of the week do you prefer?

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
2:36 pm

@Swiss: There is nothing correct about that. Po’ little things. :)

@WD: Roger that.

Robert

August 7th, 2012
3:06 pm

Ladies let me be honest. A lot of guys (35-45) keep women “hanging on” another word for “FWB” for years because women allow them to treat them that way. In my case the average is 5-7 years. Women will venture into FWB kinds of relationships for great sex, money or the promise that 1 day he will committ to being my Man. These are excuses I have heard. Women have many reasons for allowing someone to treat them bad. Men are victims too especially if he is emotionally attached to her and is afraid of losing her if he does not agree to all her demands. A Man will settle for less (FWB) because he is either emotionally attached or just your plain everyday “Dog”. I can only talk about myself as an example of what not to do in a FWB relationship. In 2005 when I first came to ATL from DC I had a few FWB who I stayed in touch. At first everything was good because they had their own money to travel and they only wanted a weekend get-a-way to experience ATL. No strings attached just great sex and a good time in a new City where no one knew what they were doing or who they are. I felt guilty because I knew that I was only “stringing them along” for my pleasure. Ladies do not settle for less. Always seek a Man who wants you un-conditionally regardless of your situation.

disco

August 7th, 2012
3:09 pm

robert – there is something to be said for the “out of town” friend.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
3:20 pm

Dayum…..somebody must’ve been gassy this afternoon….. NOT IT! ;)

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
3:23 pm

OK, Leggs, I am back. Is it like a girl scout vest that I put my blog badges on? IDK about y’all…

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
3:24 pm

disco

August 7th, 2012
3:27 pm

CC – you are getting colder. lol.

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
3:27 pm

Comon – yep you finally guessed correctly. I can help you get your shiny new Band Camp badge to put on your new blog vest. Hahaha

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
3:33 pm

Robert – what , no fwb list? You are the lists master, you letting me down dude.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
3:38 pm

WD~ This one time, at band camp…

Jake...SPJTWB

August 7th, 2012
3:38 pm

Slim..nice contract

Bluz done nicknamed the “dcik in a jar”

Swiss..you should beat that up, I have the exact same rule

ITL-I think I know what WillieD is talkin about,

Leggs-sure wouldn’t mind an up close view of the Catsuit

and ya’ll quit reading all that 50 shades stuff, or should I gift it to my Sweetie, depennds on what you mean by trying something new.

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
3:41 pm

Comon ~ vests are issued to ward of possible hurtful barbs from bloggers. When mayhem erupts here, best to don your best. I’ve noticed that some have slept in their vests. When you think you have too many holes in your vest, you can ask for a replacement. Your vest will be issued on 4/9.

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
3:43 pm

Jake, get in line (lol).

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
3:43 pm

So, I was right in the beginning; it’s a bulletproof vest. Y’all just wanted to see what outlandish ish I could come up with, huh?

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
3:47 pm

ITL-I think I know what WillieD is talkin about

Well fill me in, ’cause I am into the dark. LOLOL

@Leggs: I think I might need a replacement. Mine’s getting a little frayed around the edges.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
3:49 pm

WD~ This one time, at band camp…

That line always makes me shudder. Mainly bc I play alto sax and not flute, but for other reasons, too. :lol: :lol:

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
3:50 pm

Jake…you should definitely get it for your Sweetie…she will probably thank you a bunch for them!

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
3:51 pm

Yep, Comon. :lol: :lo: :lol:

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
3:53 pm

Comon – band camp stories can neva eva be told ok. Shhhhhh, now I have you penciled in for trobone lessons Tuesday morn followed by (b)ass lessons Thursday pending comprehension and performance reviews. See you then

Jake – yeah gift it to your chick. While you at it get some extra soundproofing for the basement, a set of handcuffs (not the furry ones), a ball gag, a whip, a feather, new knee pads (Nike brand last longer) and some gatorade.

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
3:56 pm

I see i haven’t missed much…just got out of a Diversity Training class

You and I could be FWB. What day of the week do you prefer?

Robert – I regret to inform you that the temporary fwb/fb position has been filled by an actual hired employee. (And he’s currently being reviewed for a significant promotion) :oops:

swiss – I see you walking around with that back tattoo that says “EXIT ONLY”…did the same tattoo artist that was made famous for “Balls Deep” do your too?

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
3:57 pm

WD – Don’t forget the titanium balls :lol:

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
3:58 pm

ITL…did you get my Draw Something picture?

Jake...SPJTWB

August 7th, 2012
3:59 pm

ITL…go back to your 12:13, the way that rolled out that mouth of yours stood me ears up!

Jake...SPJTWB

August 7th, 2012
4:03 pm

Well Willie, looks like that will be a short trip to the store, just missing the books…lol

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
4:04 pm

Slim — I think if I ever were to end up in prison, I’d get a back tattoo that says “I don’t wipe”

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
4:05 pm

ITL/Bluz – (said while putting on my smoking jacket and pulling up a chair). Sooooo are we going to relive the good ole days again like yesterday. Count me in and no speed reading today.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
4:05 pm

@Jake: Hmmmm…..

@Bluz: I didn’t see it, but I’ll look again….

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
4:05 pm

Jake~ And some benwa balls. ;)

WD~ Can’t make Thursdays, too busy with work. Can we shoot for Monday afternoons? I think some “music” would be the perfect pick me up for my Monday Blues…

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
4:08 pm

O/T ~ Somebody is messing with Gabby’s confidence. She’s falling like a wilted flower petal….

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
4:08 pm

swiss :shock: I just hope your cellmate’s tattoo won’t read, “Me either” ;-)

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
4:11 pm

Slim :shock: Aw man, see now, that’s why I could never go to prison. If I ever run afoul of the law, I’m just going to have to go out in a blaze of glory. (’Cos I sure as heyal won’t be servicing any prison glory holes)

disco

August 7th, 2012
4:11 pm

swiss – re your “I don’t wipe” tattoo all I could think of was your cellie with a matching “I don’t care” tattoo. LOL.

slim – right…

disco

August 7th, 2012
4:12 pm

swiss – what happens in prison (usually) stays in prison.

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
4:13 pm

disco ~ not if you come out walking funny and have limp wrist action.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
4:14 pm

disco~ Hell naw it don’t. “swiss” would become “swiss train cake roll” on the streets…

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
4:19 pm

Man… that sh!t isn’t funny. Just wait, one of these days you’re going to see me on the evening news in an armed stand-off with the po-po screaming “SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME! I DARE YOU TO SHOOT ME!”

The cops will be like, “But sir, it’s only a speeding ticket.”

“I DON’T GIVE A F__K!!! I WON’T BE NOBODY’S BEYOTCH!”

:lol:

disco

August 7th, 2012
4:19 pm

CC – depends on how he does his time. he’s married and so there’s a chance the mrs. will be on his team keeping him in letters and oodles of noodles. he’ll do what he has to do on the inside and, if he keeps his nose clean, he can come home and pick up where he left off. NOW if he comes out with his hair in a French roll with finger waves in the front all bets are off.

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
4:21 pm

swiss – At first glance I thought your post read prison GORY holes…I guess the L really doesn’t make much of a difference in this case :lol:

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
4:23 pm

WD…I don’t know…I think I’ve said enough on here. ;-)

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
4:23 pm

Slim — I imagine those could get pretty gory, too… :lol:

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
4:24 pm

swiss EXACTLY :lol:

Jake...SPJTWB

August 7th, 2012
4:25 pm

Comon-I just googled the Ben Wa…you So Naasssty, and I say that lovingly…

disco

August 7th, 2012
4:28 pm

I was just reading a news article where a woman had sunburn on her backside. her boyfriend patted her on the butt as she was washing dishes. she turned around and stabbed him 3 times. bet he’ll never pat another sunburned bottom again. heck, he’ll probably never pat any woman’s bottom again.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
4:30 pm

@disco: soooo, these folks don’t have neighbors???