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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: How to end FWBs?

I don’t know how many of you have been in this situation, but I am curious to read opinions on it: You have what you thought was the ideal Friends With Benefits arrangement. You are both starting to enjoy the perks that come with the no strings attached set up. Alas, all good things must come to an end. How do you terminate the benefits of Friends with Benefits?

Maybe one of you starts to catch feelings and violate the terms of the FWB arrangement. Or perhaps you have found an actual relationship potential. Whatever the case, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in the amount of drama or hurt feelings.

Have you ever had to end a FWB situation? How did you go about it? Were you straight up and honest? Did you remain friends (with no benefits?) Or did you choose the fade to black, disappearing act approach?

What is the best way to end it? Does it depend on what the benefits were?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

386 comments Add your comment

disco

August 7th, 2012
12:53 pm

slim – I also think a lot of it is just media and PR hype and not wanting to be left out. every where you turn someone is discussing the book and so certain types hop on the bandwagon not to be left out. they want to be a part of the goings ons.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:53 pm

Even though the writing was not stellar and the plot was fairly predictable, it was still an enjoyable read for me. I call those kind of novels “McReads”….like junk food for your brain. No intellectual value at all, but fun to read (and dream about)…..

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
12:54 pm

Slim…please no electric wang shocking band!!! I maybe like some pain, but not that kind!!! LOL

I honestly cannot remember if I was ever given a vest…it’s all good. I’ve been pretty good about taking it all in around here.

Ok, so the 50 Shades books do have a lot of great sex in them, but towards the end of the 2nd book, I was thinking that a lot of it could be cut out because I was enjoying the story. I just think it could have still be great in my opinion without so much of the sex. I did like the way she wrote the scenes, though, but sometimes, I was getting bored with it…

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:57 pm

One of my favorite parts of the book were the emails back and forth. I love that fun, playful banter with an SO….

Ummmmm, WD….even if you weren’t married, you’re a gator! :eek:

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
12:58 pm

Slim – un hunh, dudes don’t need to read it bcuz most of us are already there.

Swiss – you had a really good time, no?????

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:59 pm

Speaking of catsuits, I remember back in the day (last year) when Leggs would break out her catsuit for blog parties…. :)

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
1:04 pm

One of my doctors told me his wife loved the books and he loved them without reading them just because of her reactions! LOL

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
1:05 pm

WD — Nah, man. I was scurrrrred. :lol: 1) I’m not into being tied up. I’m too touchy-feely for that, plus, I definitely didn’t trust this b!tch… 2) She was married and I didn’t want to get shot, and 3) (and most importantly) this was a white chick. :lol: Had it been a dark chocolate mocha, my ass would probably still be tied up. :lol:

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
1:13 pm

Swiss – hahaha, I understand totally. Its not the chick dropping it low its the quiet conservative chick off to the side that’s the most fun. IJS

ITL – Leggs has a mini donk now. The old catsuit fits diff now. Hahaha

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
1:13 pm

un hunh, dudes don’t need to read it bcuz most of us are already there.

WD – I will have to say a big fat, NOT ALWAYS. Why do men seem to shy away from any form of learning new things when it comes to that kind of stuff. We aren’t saying what you currently do is whack, just another avenue of exploring things not thought about ;-) I guess it would be more acceptable if the story was in a playbook magazine huh

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
1:15 pm

Comon ~ love workday humor. Take another stab at it (lol).

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
1:16 pm

I’m impressed Bluz read all 3 in 3 weeks. My friend loaned me the first book of 50 Shades and 3 weeks later I only read 4 pages. Naturally, she snatched the book back.

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
1:23 pm

“She has a specialty vest…it only covers up her heart area and her CT. Everything else is free game. lol”

Sounds good to me! Good looking out, SlimUno.

Bluz ~ see my 12:42

ITL ~ when I read swiss’ comment about the catsuit, I immediately thought of mine with those red pumps. Hush girl!

WillieD ~ yeah man, it fits differently, it fits better (lol). Did I tell you guys it’s c……….

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
1:24 pm

Leggs…I was just enraptured by these books. I can’t remember if I said this earlier, but I read for 8 hours on Saturday night because I couldn’t put it down. Once you get into it, it’s hard to put it down!

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
1:26 pm

Yes, Bluz, I took heed to your 8 hrs of reading. I couldn’t do it…

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
1:28 pm

“Once you get into it, it’s hard to put it down!”

Are you talking about the book, or the accompanying B.O.B.?

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
1:30 pm

@Leggs: If they ever build a blog museum, you know the catsuit will be the star attraction. Along with Swiss’s titanium wong. And a mold of Slim’s CT. And my…. well, I’m sure I have something to go in there. :)

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
1:31 pm

titanium WANG… misspelling that is just wong. Bwahahaha. :lol: :lol:

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
1:34 pm

did you spell “wrong” wrong on purpose, or was that a Freudian slip (lololol)?

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
1:35 pm

ITL – Chile you’re so funny!!! wong wang lol

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
1:35 pm

ITL – You don’t have a taste for Chinese or Habachi to ya?

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
1:38 pm

Nevamind, I see you did.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
1:45 pm

@Leggs: Actually, it was an accident, but once I noticed it I thought I would make the best of it.

@Slim: Ummmm, not so much. I noticed during the Olympic diving last night that some guys just don’t make much of an “impact” so to speak…. We used to call it smuggling grapes, but dang….some of those divers look like they were smuggling blueberries. Or sunflower seeds. :shock:

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
1:46 pm

Slim – I can’t speak for other dudes but me personally I’m set on go. I need to hear NO a few times along with a safe word. Like Swiss said I’m not into being hemmed up but I will do the hemming all day long.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
1:47 pm

@WD: Well sew on then, Betsy Ross. :lol:

I am in a punny mood today. I’m here all week – try the veal.

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
1:50 pm

WD – So long story short, you’re the DOM? :lol:

ITL – Not blueberries…now my morning yogurt will never be the same. I always put fresh blueberries in my Greek yogurt :shock:

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
1:51 pm

Punny mood, another freudian slip or something you wanna talk about? I am a very good listener.

SexyCool

August 7th, 2012
1:51 pm

SexyCool

August 7th, 2012
1:52 pm

I have said to someone, “Oh, that thing that we were doing…we are not going to do anymore. M.kay?”

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
1:53 pm

Slim — Yeah, like WD said, I can’t speak for other dudes, but I’m pretty sure Mrs. Swiss would never complain about me not being willing to try something. There’s not a position, location, or part of her body that I wouldn’t partake of enthusiastically. :D :lol:

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
1:54 pm

I actually only have 1 rule: Nothing, and I do mean nothing, goes near my backdoor. Ever. :lol:

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
1:55 pm

swiss…BOTH!

SexyCool

August 7th, 2012
1:55 pm

Random Observations –

Gabby Douglas sweated out her edges. Who cares?
And her momma filed bankruptcy. So?

Benzino’s head is too big for his body.
Jocelyn was going in on Stevie.
Almost all of those chicks are older than me, which is way too damn old to be acting like that.

I’m getting married in 33 days and my momma is walking me down the aisle.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
1:56 pm

swiss…don’t knock it until you try it! Some men have been surprised about liking that…IJS

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
1:57 pm

Slim – no labels needed but umm how do I say this tactfully? When I get ahold of some puddy its good if you give it to me how you want to have it. I’m equal opportunity to a point, but just know at some point I’m gonna take it. I aim to make it MINE.

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
1:57 pm

“…but dang….some of those divers look like they were smuggling blueberries. Or sunflower seeds.” – Hate to admit it, but I have to agree. I remember watching one walking away wondering “is there anything there (lololol)?

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
1:57 pm

Bluz — Well I guess I’ll just have to miss out then. ‘Cos that ain’t happening. :lol:

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
1:58 pm

SC…So cool that mom is walking you down the aisle! I’ll be you’re getting more and more excited and nervous, huh?

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
1:58 pm

Hello SexyC. Countdown time!

Jake...SPJTWB

August 7th, 2012
2:01 pm

What’s Good…what did I miss.

SexyCool

August 7th, 2012
2:01 pm

Oddly enough, I’m getting more relaxed.

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
2:02 pm

SC – I’m excited for you. Love is a wonderful thing. While you counting down just don’t let the stress of THAT day get in the way of the reasons why.

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
2:02 pm

SexyC ~ I looked at L&HH with disbelief. (1) a 3-couple therapy session, (2) him wiping the sweat off her nose and Mimi quietly sits there. (If ever a time to go hamm, that’s one for the books), and (3) Joselyn tried to beat that trollish looking man to a pulp. The fact that he said it was sexy to wipe the sweat off deserved something, anything more than the words”are you serious!!!”

If she’s trying to remain classy, she gave all that up by putting up with all that BS for 12 years. And, her story she’s taking all that in because of their child together is another heap of BS!

I’m sorry, back to regularly scheduled blogging….

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
2:04 pm

How sweet, your mom is walking you down the aisle…it’s going to be a beautiful day designed just for the two of you!

For Real

August 7th, 2012
2:12 pm

“Why do men seem to shy away from any form of learning new things when it comes to that kind of stuff.” – Because when we go HAM y’all start calling our mamma’s!!!!

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
2:12 pm

You ladies ought to cut those divers some slack. That water is cold! :lol:

SexyCool

August 7th, 2012
2:13 pm

Stevie wants them both. MiMi because she is his ‘baby ma” and Jocelyn….well, for obvious reasons.

SexyCool

August 7th, 2012
2:14 pm

WDynamite – I am actually coasting. The decision to hire a planner is one of the best ones that I’ve made this decade.

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
2:22 pm

SC – that was a great idea and really really smart on yalls end. I do have 1 suggestion. Maybe the weekend before all the fam/friends bumrush the shown take a quick getaway just the two of you. No fam no friends no phone, no FB (poinrting @you). Just the two of you and just chill. Man I’m happy for you and especially for him.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
2:23 pm

Punny mood, another freudian slip or something you wanna talk about? I am a very good listener.

It all started years ago, in a cold delivery room in Marietta, GA….from the doctor’s first slap I knew I was no one’s punching bag and vowed to never go down that road again…… (more later, Willie D) :lol: :lol:

Congrats, SCool! 33 days and counting…..

@Swiss: Cold, schmold. Even when they get in that hot tub thingy the turtle stays in the shell. Un uh. I ain’t buying it.

@Slim: I meant cranberries. :roll: