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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating: How to end FWBs?

I don’t know how many of you have been in this situation, but I am curious to read opinions on it: You have what you thought was the ideal Friends With Benefits arrangement. You are both starting to enjoy the perks that come with the no strings attached set up. Alas, all good things must come to an end. How do you terminate the benefits of Friends with Benefits?

Maybe one of you starts to catch feelings and violate the terms of the FWB arrangement. Or perhaps you have found an actual relationship potential. Whatever the case, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in the amount of drama or hurt feelings.

Have you ever had to end a FWB situation? How did you go about it? Were you straight up and honest? Did you remain friends (with no benefits?) Or did you choose the fade to black, disappearing act approach?

What is the best way to end it? Does it depend on what the benefits were?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

386 comments Add your comment

disco

August 7th, 2012
12:06 pm

bluz – go ahead and let the blog peeps know that your phone has talk to text capabilities. they can tie you up but unless they gag you, you will get your text on. what old girl say in fatal attraction – “ I will not be denied”.

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
12:07 pm

“trying to text Magnum with a pencil in her mouth.”

I suppose that’s better than trying to text pencil with a Magnum in her mouth…

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:07 pm

“She would text dude before bed and he would be creeping in the window to freak her while she was strapped down” – I am hollering at the visual. That just might be fun. Ok, we now have to barricade the windows!

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:08 pm

It was a night out (it was a night in) it was a night out (oh, have it your way)…..It’s true, there were storm clouds that evening (describe your ba11s)…heavy, black, and pendulous….

Sorry, the RHPS popped into my head again.

Slow down, Bluz. And for Pete’s sake, put away the 50 shades books. :)

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:09 pm

Comon ~ curious, do you know what the vest is about? Pls, nobody say a word!

disco

August 7th, 2012
12:10 pm

leggs – I’m thinking we need to whisk bluz away to a safe house and put a stunt double in her place. when the busters and jokers and no goods show up the stunt double will lay the smack down on them and send them scampering away. after they all realize they can’t run game on bluz anymore we can pull the real bluz out of isolation and put her back in the general population.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
12:11 pm

ITL – I finished the final book on Saturday, so that’s all good! LOL!

disco – no talk to text capabilities.

swiss – that was a good one!!! LOL!!!!

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
12:12 pm

“I’m thinking we need to whisk bluz away to a safe house and put a stunt double in her place.”

Y’all are just trying to sample some Magnum is what y’all are doing. Don’t front! :lol:

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
12:12 pm

disco…you ain’t right for that! Lol! Or…maybe you are…

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:13 pm

I suppose that’s better than trying to text pencil with a Magnum in her mouth…

Better, but nearly as enjoyable. ;) And speaking of enjoyable, Swissykins, I thought your pole vault last night was brilliant. Lucky you have that 2-story foyer. :)

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:14 pm

disco ~ I think that’s an EXCELLENT idea! Yes, ma’am!

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:15 pm

Y’all are just trying to sample some Magnum is what y’all are doing. Don’t front!

No shame in my game….Have Magnum, will travel (from the front door, to the couch, to the table, to the rug, back to the couch, to the shower, and to the bedroom….) ;)

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
12:17 pm

Leggs~ Don’t have a clue. Maybe a straitjacket? LOL!

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:17 pm

To the window to the wall….

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:18 pm

Come on Comon, not a straightjacket. It’s a vest. What you think it may be used for??

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:18 pm

Watch ITL crawl…… :lol: :lol:

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:19 pm

@Bluz: I finished all three in about a week. As soon as I finished one, I downloaded the next. They were highly, um, addictive. ;)

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:19 pm

Come on Comon

Now I’m humming Come on Eileen…. :lol:

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
12:20 pm

Bulletproof?

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
12:21 pm

Okay, I think it’s time for a new rule:

Ladies, if you get to publicly proclaim how much you love those “50 Shades…” books with no shame, we dudes get to look at porn in public and y’all can’t say sh!t. :lol:

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
12:21 pm

disco – At this rate, she may just need to be entered into some sort of Magnum Protective Program, similar to Witness protection. She’ll have to throw out that whole identity.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
12:22 pm

swiss~ I personally don’t care if the hubs looks at porn 24/7. He can look at the menu all day as long as he doesn’t order sh!t.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
12:23 pm

Slim~ problem is she would still be the same person with a new name. I give it 2 months before the artist formerly known as Bluz had the same issues in the new life…

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:23 pm

I’m down with MPP….yeah you know me. :lol:

I’m going to get some peach cobbler. BRB

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
12:23 pm

Leggs…thanks a bunch…that song is gonna be in my head now!!!

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:24 pm

Bulletproof? What are you bulletproofing (lol).

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
12:25 pm

Swiss – that’s what got lil SwissMocha on the way. Having a wide is kinda like BubbaGump and the Shrimp. Gotta come up with all kinda ways to do it differently. Trying real hard not to look at the clams on the menu. Hahaha

ITL – I’m liking you more and more every day. After yesterday eve and the early 20’s reminiscing with Bluz. You read kinda differently (at least in my mind). Drool factor x10

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:26 pm

You’re welcome, bluz (lol)!

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
12:27 pm

ITL – those books were amazing!!! I read them in 3 weeks time and that is really fast for me. With mild ADD, it’s hard for me to read fast, but I was sucked in. Saturday night, I spent 8 hours reading because I couldn’t put it down and had to finish the final book!

swiss – it’s not just about the sex, although some of the scenes were hot! The story is incredible. I’d love for a man to read the books, just to get his perspective on it…The books would have been wonderful without the sex.

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:28 pm

O/T ~ lil leggs and her friends are leaving shortly so lots of last minute visiting taking place all over. Why during me cooking dinner 6 of her friends rang the doorbell to see her. I wound up frying 10 porkchops, 3 bunches of broccoli and two boxes of rice and I didn’t even eat!!!! I was too pooped to eat plus it was after 9:00.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
12:28 pm

Leggs~ Myself! I figure if I can survive the rapid machine gun fire for 2 weeks, after that I get a bulletproof vest.

Or maybe it is a motorccle gang vest? Damned if I know. LMAO!

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
12:28 pm

Wife not wide. Dayummit man.

disco

August 7th, 2012
12:30 pm

leggs – bright side. at least you had enough food to feed everyone.

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:30 pm

The books would have been wonderful without the sex.

No they wouldn’t have. That’s why they’re selling (along with the story line). W/o the sex, guess it would be 50 Thumps to the Forehead!

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
12:32 pm

“it’s not just about the sex, although some of the scenes were hot! The story is incredible.”

Bluz — Not that I don’t trust your literary tastes, but… wait… who am I kidding? I don’t trust your literary tastes in this case. :lol: Of course you think the story is incredible. The story is the foreplay. That’s why this is chick porn. :lol:

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
12:33 pm

WD — I just thought you had invented a new word for “broad” :lol:

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:33 pm

Yeah, that’s true disco!

Comon ~ never thought of your definition, but I like it (lol).

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
12:33 pm

Leggs – Sounds like you have a restaurant idea on your hands lol

I suggest we get Bluz an electric wang shocking band. Whenever a hard wang comes within a foot of her, she gets shocked back to her senses.

Leggs – BLuz never got a vest I don’t believe. She’s a bit of a masochist lolol Pain is pleasure

Bluz- If that book didn’t have sex in it, none of us would be reading it. Keeping it REAL lol

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
12:34 pm

swiss~ I have to beg to differ with Bluz on this one. The writing is juvenile to say the least and the characters are not fleshed out enough. The sex scenes were hot the the plot is good but I think the writer might be borderline retarded with that simplistic style she used.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
12:36 pm

Leggs~ Are you going to give me the correct answer? Or am I supposed to keep guessing for your workday amusement? :lol:

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
12:38 pm

Comon — Yeah, that’s pretty much what I would expect. I made the mistake of trying to read one Anne Rice book waaaaaay back in the day and it was total garbage. I suspect this would be even worse.

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
12:39 pm

Women try so hard to downplay there horndog tendencies. 50 shades is chick porn plain and simple. Try to get a woman to explain the books without the s e x part and watch them squirm literally.
I was just at the sports bar sun night talking with this woman. Somehow while watching NFL we got on the 50 topic. She was trying to explain without the sex but it was a epic fail. I was laughing and taking her there at the same dayum time.

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
12:40 pm

I’m on the second book as we speak and I didn’t go into it thinking I was getting top notch material. I was curious of what the book was about and go with it as that. Now that I’ve started reading it, my main interest is exploring this world of BDSM…one that I’m unfamiliar with. So it’s interesting to me on that level. I think women want a little Christian Grey errrrr now and then. :oops:

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:42 pm

You’re right, SlimUno. I don’t see Bluz on my list for receiving a vest..

Bluz – although you seem to like pain, look under your desk in the left side corner for your vest. Wear it proudly. As a matter of fact, you may need to don yours daily.

disco

August 7th, 2012
12:43 pm

i’m just waiting for all the hubbub surrounding 50 shades to die down. haven’t read it and have no desire to.

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
12:43 pm

Leggs – She has a specialty vest…it only covers up her heart area and her CT. Everything else is free game. lol

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:43 pm

ITL – I’m liking you more and more every day. After yesterday eve and the early 20’s reminiscing with Bluz. You read kinda differently (at least in my mind). Drool factor x10

@WD: Well I am not certain what I have said to earn such praise, but I thank you, sir. :)

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
12:48 pm

Swiss – depending on the day/nite Wife is aka for a lot of words. I have a very very active imagination as do you I see.

ITL – you are welcome and not in the bbb kinda way just so we are clear. Hahaha

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
12:49 pm

WD – I was real with mine…the sex does make a difference but the thing about it, because women like to visualize things, go off of what’s said sometimes, go after money and power the book plays on all those things. I think the power aspect and being dominated is what’s making the books so poplular. You don’t usually read things like this outside of the usual fk books or ‘romantic novels. Now I’m personally not into getting beat and whipped but there are other things that play out in the book that does get me feeling some kinda way down therrrrr. And women say they want men to read it because part of us want that from our men. I’m telling you, it would not be a bad idea. lol The beau already said he isn’t reading it though lol

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
12:51 pm

Speaking of BDSM & women’s suppressed freakiness, that reminds me of this story from my grad school days…

There was this lady (cough, cough) that sat beside me in class — very conservative looking, married, 2 kids, always trying to act all businesslike. One day toward the end of the program we’re sitting in class and she sends me an IM with a link to this very graphic S&M story about a housewife who ties up and f__ks the sh!t out of this younger dude. I get about 4 paragraphs into this thing and I look over and she is staring at me the way Wile E. Coyote stared at Roadrunner. :lol: She says “what did you think of the story?” and I’m like “uh…. it was interesting…” The she tells me she has her “cat suit” in the car. :shock: