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Dating: How to end FWBs?

I don’t know how many of you have been in this situation, but I am curious to read opinions on it: You have what you thought was the ideal Friends With Benefits arrangement. You are both starting to enjoy the perks that come with the no strings attached set up. Alas, all good things must come to an end. How do you terminate the benefits of Friends with Benefits?

Maybe one of you starts to catch feelings and violate the terms of the FWB arrangement. Or perhaps you have found an actual relationship potential. Whatever the case, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in the amount of drama or hurt feelings.

Have you ever had to end a FWB situation? How did you go about it? Were you straight up and honest? Did you remain friends (with no benefits?) Or did you choose the fade to black, disappearing act approach?

What is the best way to end it? Does it depend on what the benefits were?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

386 comments Add your comment

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
11:14 am

That’s alright, disco. I’ll be over in the corner with you having dranks…

disco

August 7th, 2012
11:14 am

BF – had that been the case I might have been on here talking like bluz this morning. trust. I stayed home as a community service. I may very well have saved a life.

Dynamic

August 7th, 2012
11:15 am

@ Bluz how long did you know him before yall hooked up? Have you went out on dates, or is it just sex and texting?

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:17 am

@Kimmie: I gotta check out that Indian store next time I’m up there. Funny thing about the book store…err now and then you can find a bargain. Online, too.

@Comon: That song cracks me up. I have a feeling we’ll be playing it at tailgates this year.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
11:17 am

disco and Slim…I know I’m falling down a trecherous (sp?) path, but I am doing my best to keep it in check. Like I’ve said before, I’ve been one to focus too much on what may or may not happen. I really, really want to just enjoy what it is on a day to day basis.

For Real

August 7th, 2012
11:17 am

Heyyyyyyyyyyy Disco.

For Real is not starring at Disco as he plays with his chest hair exposing his chain with half of a half of pint of Jack hanging from it.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
11:18 am

ITL~ Toby Keith cracks me up period! :lol:

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
11:18 am

Blackfoote – Your 11:11, the first sentence….spot on!!!

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
11:19 am

Bluz~ Girl, ain’t nothin like going to Hell and you know you on your way. This is not a slippery slope. You are fully cognizant that you just got on the express train, so not b!tching about it later when it doesn’t work out the way you want it to…

disco

August 7th, 2012
11:22 am

CC – regarding bluz – we, the entire blog for the most part, are a bunch of enablers. lol.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:24 am

@BF re: your 11:11 first sentence: Awwww. My BBB is so sweet. Makes me proud you’re fam. :)

@CC: I know, right? But that song especially….I can identify with nearly every line. Writing your name on there with a Sharpie…. It’s like a transcript of half the parties I’ve attended. :lol:

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:25 am

@disco: Yup.

kimmie

August 7th, 2012
11:26 am

For Real – I thought about you when I was watching it. She’s off the chain. I’ve never liked her really, or Marie. I was hoping she would go on and drown really.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
11:27 am

Dynamic…I’ve known him about 2 years. When I ran a teen blues jam for the blues society, he was one who helped out often. He also performed at a benefit that I had for my mother who had cancer and no insurance. He really is a nice guy. We’ve gone out a few times (not sure about calling them dates).

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
11:27 am

For Real and Kimmie – I am also hooked on that show. Skylar is gonna end up in the mental institution!!!

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:30 am

@C: You notice how a certain someone came in here talking to everybody except you, me, and BF?? mmmm hmmmm….. I’m not gone mention any names, but his initials are FR.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
11:31 am

disco~ I agree. We are the most enabling group of people! But is it really enabling when we tell her what the RIGHT thing to do is and she chooses not to do it?

ITL~ That’s the transcript for EVERY party I attended in college. Now, not so much. Maybe I should throw a party for all the lawyers and judges I know with a red solo cup theme… Hmmm

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
11:32 am

Slim makes a mistake and knocks For Real’s bottle of Jack from his 6inch herring bone down….realizes the bottle was filled with Juicy Juice (the music stops) :shock:

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
11:35 am

ITL – Mmmm hmmm, I noticed. As long as you’re getting your “junk” for baby Rella then it’s all good. We know how some deadbeat dads do. Get the goods, make the baby, in the wind….lol

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:36 am

@CC: I think that would be a great party theme. I’d love to plan a red solo cup party. I’m seeing red and white checked linens, BBQ, kegs, etc…. I need to do this!! :)

@Slim: Why did I hear the sound of a needle dragging across the record and then dead silence???? :lol: :lol:

disco

August 7th, 2012
11:37 am

CC – not enabling because she doesn’t listen but enabling because we continue to listen.

slim – “what???? juicy juice!!! where’s my switchblade?”

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
11:37 am

disco/CC – I think we have all given her the skrait up on the up and up. So I wouldn’t call it enabling…let’s not forget when we, or should I say I got reamed for keeping it 1 hunned. Sometimes you just gotta let the baby touch the hot stove to really understand that sonaofbytch really is hot ;-)

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:37 am

LOL@C. Long as my Twink and Uncle Zing got my back, it’s all good. He can go on somewhere with his Al Green poses and taco meat-showing showing shirts. Hmph.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:39 am

slim – “what???? juicy juice!!! where’s my switchblade?”

ITL whipping the box cutter out of her hair clip and tossing it to disco.

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
11:39 am

ITL – LOLOLOL…Al Green and taco meat….I’m caracking up

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
11:42 am

ITL – I will totally come to that party!!!

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
11:44 am

ITL~ Maybe we sould plan it as a blog party instead of a block party. :lol:

kimmie

August 7th, 2012
11:45 am

Bluz – I hope she, Skylar, ends up at some institution cause I’m sick of her!

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
11:46 am

“bluz – really? really? keep you in check. how? with our words? ”

I was thinking the same thing. How we suppose to do that? Only way I can think of is if we WLBs take turns sleeping at her place. You know like a druggie going cold turkey. Or those teenagers turning into wolves and we have to barricade them in their room. Short of that, bluz, you have to exercise self-control (lol).

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
11:46 am

Slim pulls out her nunchucks from the strap hidden under her bell bottom jeans. Throws them at the rotating disco ball causing it to fall and knock For Real slap out. The music commences and all of blogsville get’s their Soul train line on leaving For Real leaned up against the scrabble board drooling on his taco mated meat chest

disco

August 7th, 2012
11:50 am

slim – you crazy but I’m having a ball on my turn down the line. I start off doing the smurf. I double up on that and then take it into a little bit of cabbage patch. finish up the patch and whip around and do a little bit of “shake my booty” action even getting low with it. come back up and wop it out.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
11:52 am

disco and Leggs – I’m half kidding about ya’ll keeping me in check! I like that I can come here and tell you stuff (without holding back) and ya’ll say what you think without sugar coating it. I know that ultimately, I’m the one who has to make myself do or not do things. I do listen to you guys. I may not always follow it, but I take it all into consideration.

kimmie – I’ve gotten really tired of her also. I’m waiting for her to crack and tell her sister everything. If she does that, then it’s all over!

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
11:52 am

disco – If you keep dropping it low like that, you might make For Real come to. lol

Leggs – Or strap her to the bed every night like Mommy Dearest ;-)

Willie Dynamite

August 7th, 2012
11:54 am

Afternoon All,
Topic – cut buddies= story of my life then I got hitched. Now when I’m out I may play a lil then call the Wifey on the way home and talk to her like a booty call.

Yall gon lay off my potnah 4real. Dayum whatchu want the man don gave you gas cards and juicy juice. Hahaha

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
11:56 am

Slim1 & Legs~ Even strapping her to the bed woudn’t work. She would text dude before bed and he would be creeping in the window to freak her while she was strapped down. That’s just easy pickings…

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
11:57 am

For Real trying to hook em and crook em! LOL! That ain’t no dayum Jack. I should know. We are such good friends he lets me call him “J” every now and then…

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:00 pm

“…We are the most enabling group of people! ” – Awwww, look at Comon using the “We” word and she hasn’t even gotten her vest yet!!!!!

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
12:00 pm

ITL – I’m getting out of here early today, but you let me know if you need back up in getting more gas cards for baby Rella. I’ll peek in later

Peace out people

disco

August 7th, 2012
12:00 pm

slim – but what is the soul train line without somebody dropping it low? heck, even the fellas get low in the soul train line. we don’t have to worry about for real. he may be a lot of things but he’s not slow. he’ll come to and sneak out the back exit. next time he won’t try that juicy juice trick. maybe he’ll get some sunny d or some Hawaiian punch or something.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
12:01 pm

Leggs got jokes. Do you doubt I will get my vest?!? Y’all stuck with me like herpes now! Ain’t no cure up in here! I found my band of miscreants! (cue ITL…)

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
12:02 pm

“Now when I’m out I may play a lil then call the Wifey on the way home and talk to her like a booty call.”

WD — Ah, good times. And how about when you’re out on the town together and wifey discretely shows you she isn’t wearing any panties. Nothing makes a man happier than when wifey lets her closet freak come out to play… :lol:

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:03 pm

Oooh, I’m in the way back machine on my way down the line. I’mma do the robot – yeah, I said the robot :)

LOL@Leggs. I’m imagining Bluz handcuffed to one of those old school radiators, trying to text Magnum with a pencil in her mouth.

Hush, Swampy, or you’re next. (ITL now flipping the trap door on her wedge heels, just in case she needs her brass knuckles).

Red Solo Cup party – come one, come all. :)

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
12:03 pm

I saw something on Facebook recently that said “I no longer can drop it like it’s hot but I can squat like it’s warm” It made me laugh!

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:03 pm

We’re having our first block party this evening. It’s National Night Out (Aug 7th). I think this is statewide. Hope it doesn’t rain, but there’s a 40% chance it will.

“Or strap her to the bed every night like Mommy Dearest ” – that’s another possibility.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
12:04 pm

Hmmm…handcuffed and Magnum in the same sentence…mind going with that visual! LOL

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
12:04 pm

Yay, miscreants!!

I’ll miss you, C, but I’ll check in on the two-way walkie…. ;)

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:05 pm

If you guys are pulling nunchucks and switchblades, I’ll take the razor from under my tongue and join in.

i'm swiss

August 7th, 2012
12:05 pm

“It’s National Night Out (Aug 7th). I think this is statewide.”

Shouldn’t it be nationwide?

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
12:06 pm

I’m half kidding about ya’ll keeping me in check! – That’s the problem, you’re half kidding. You should be completely kidding. You ain’t ready!

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
12:06 pm

National Night Out and it’s time for me to have a night in!!! Been on the go since Thursday!!!