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Dating: How to end FWBs?

I don’t know how many of you have been in this situation, but I am curious to read opinions on it: You have what you thought was the ideal Friends With Benefits arrangement. You are both starting to enjoy the perks that come with the no strings attached set up. Alas, all good things must come to an end. How do you terminate the benefits of Friends with Benefits?

Maybe one of you starts to catch feelings and violate the terms of the FWB arrangement. Or perhaps you have found an actual relationship potential. Whatever the case, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in the amount of drama or hurt feelings.

Have you ever had to end a FWB situation? How did you go about it? Were you straight up and honest? Did you remain friends (with no benefits?) Or did you choose the fade to black, disappearing act approach?

What is the best way to end it? Does it depend on what the benefits were?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

386 comments Add your comment

disco

August 7th, 2012
10:33 am

ITL – not the sunny D!!! I had a party once and a punk A dude a friend brought with her had the nerve to pour juicy juice – yep juicy juice – on top of his jack daniels. I told him he would not be disrespecting my liquor like that. if he couldn’t drink jack straight (or at least with coke or even watered down) he needed to leave jack alone. daggone juicy juice. everybody was cracking up.

single/happy – sho’ you right. again, I could come up with reasons to drink all day. it’s 1:00, 2:00, 3:00. it’s Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. you see where I’m going with this?

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:33 am

I know Scooby Snacks as far as smoking them, but don’t know it as a drink…

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:34 am

Bluzy – I didn’t know you could “sip” scooby snacks either…unless

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:34 am

Scooby Dooby Doooooooooooooooo

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:34 am

Juicy Juice with Jack?!?!?! Gross!!!!!!!!!!!

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
10:36 am

Scooby Snacks= Malibu, Midori, Creme de Bannana, Pineapple juice & whipped cream.

1/2 oz of everything accept whipped cream. 1 oz of whipped cream. Smells like Coppertone, tastes like heaven. I gave up the other Scooby Snacks a while ago… LMAO!

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
10:36 am

ITL – I see you caught that :lol: I didn’t want to keep using our gazelle reference ;-)

Dynamic

August 7th, 2012
10:37 am

@ Bluz…..I wanna know what made the new guy soo 50 Sahdes? I read the other day that you referred to him as that, but I was unsure why? Does he have a red room?

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:41 am

@disco – Yep, the Sunny D. It was all we had, and we were too far gone to drive to the store. But Juicy Juice? Ick. :(

@Comon: I’d have to take a pass on the Scooby Snacks. That sounds WAY too sweet for me.

@Slim: ;)

disco

August 7th, 2012
10:41 am

CC – midori was my signature “out” drink for many many years.

bluz – juicy juice might mess up the jack but I’m sure the jack improves the juicy juice considerably.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
10:41 am

Yep Disco right there with you (LOL)

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
10:41 am

I didn’t want to be the one to say it. I’m just reposting

Cel – Reminds me of that bit on In Living Color when ole girl would be gossiping about everybody. Be like, “Ain’t da one ta gossip but you ain’t heard that ish from me!” lol

tequila = Slim’s kryptonite The mere smell of it makes the hairs all over my body stand up :???:

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:42 am

Dynamic…he’s not like 50 Shades, but I was reading the book at the time we first hooked up and the book kind of made me hot and bothered!!!

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:43 am

And nobody better not say nuthin’ bout Mizz Jenkins. Ooooh, lawd I love me some Mizz Jenkins (old peery smellin’ witch). :lol: :lol:

I would like to have a vodka tonic right now.

kimmie

August 7th, 2012
10:43 am

Hey Gang! Swamped at work, but popped in to say hi!

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:45 am

Slim – LOLOL…exactly. I didn’t want to be the one break the news that buddy put it on her and she’s still skipping. I ain’t knocking her, just want her to know I think for her it’s a bit more than FWB. Hopefully for him as well.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:45 am

Tequila and Vodka both have done something to me in the past…they were each a drink of choice at one time, but smelling or tasting either without a mixer just makes me gag now! Magnum drinks vodka straight and it almost makes me gag watching him! I hate when you drink so much of something until you get sick and then you can’t ever drink it again!

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:48 am

Cel and Slim…maybe I need to admit that there is a teeny tiny part of me that hopes for a little more than FWB, but I’m fighting it hard!!!

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
10:49 am

And nobody better not say nuthin’ bout Mizz Jenkins. Ooooh, lawd I love me some Mizz Jenkins (but don’t get too close to her because her breath smell like a dead billy goat….baaaaaa baaaaaa bad breath Jenkins)

ITL :lol: :lol:

Cel – Yup, we are all thinking it. I wonder if she pulled back with the texting and stuff how he’ll react to that. Hmmmm but question is, who is texting who. (Slim now rubbing her one chin hair in deep thought)

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:50 am

Bluzy – Nothing wrong with hoping nor admitting the womanly side of you. I would say though how you set the tone of anything is likely how it will play out. If you tell him, I want nothing but sex, then don’t expect more. I’m not saying buddy can’t fall in deep more than he expected but for the future, you have to drive the results you want. If you want more, say that. And be willing to walk if you can’t get that. Don’t settle for a romp if that’s all he claims he can offer.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
10:50 am

Bluz admitting is the first step, but you aint fighting it that hard. but he is a willing participant also

disco

August 7th, 2012
10:51 am

I love a good mixed drink but sometimes a shot is the way to go. if you are out (not a sit down and chill kind of out) but an up and moving, dancing around kind of out – shots are just easier to handle. who wants to be holding a daggone drink bouncing from foot to foot when their jam is on? just knock out your shot right quick and get it in. also, if you are in it to get drunk – and sometimes you are in it to get drunk – why delay it by mixing the drink. just drink it straight.

I was in Atlanta a few years ago. I was out with a male cousin and a female friend. we got drinks at the table and they went to dance. guys are asking me to dance and I’m sitting there babysitting drinks. after about 3 songs and my peeps not coming back I just drank all the drinks and went on and danced. LOL. they still talk about me killing their drinks. whatever.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 7th, 2012
10:53 am

LOL……….@red neck sunrises made with Sunny Delight juice.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
10:54 am

I like a good frozen drinks, and those folks in the islands sho know how to make them :-)

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:54 am

Ya’ll are supposed to help keep me in check and help me to be able to just keep it as FWB! LOL!!!

It’s been equal on the texting front. Sometimes I text first…sometimes he does. I had a text from him this morning that was in response to something I said last night. It’s not constant texting….just a little here and there.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:56 am

LOL@Slim. :lol: :lol: Good ole Mizz Jenkins.

@BF: Hey….sometimes you gotta make do with what you have. ;) Necessity and the mother of invention and all that.

@disco: I’m with you on the shots. What kills me, though, is when we go out and “we’ll just have a couple of beers” and the next thing you know, somebody (okay, usually me) is saying, “we need some shots!!!”

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
10:57 am

Hey Celisea.

Cracking up at redneck tequila sunrises. I so understand (lol)~

disco

August 7th, 2012
10:58 am

bluz – really? really? keep you in check. how? with our words? please. you don’t listen. okay. you might listen but you act like you don’t comprehend. the momma-ism for today “a hard head makes a soft behind”. that’s you all day.

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
10:58 am

Bluz – It’s good to see you recognize what we have all known from when you first mentioned it. Denial will get you no where my friend. Just please please please take it from minute to minute. Yall just romped around not even a week ago. Every dish is not made to cook on broil. Sometimes you got to let things cook at a simmer.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:58 am

Stamps: You gotta watch those island folks. They wait until you’re 3 or 4 rum punches in to tell you they made it with 151, mon. :eek:

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:59 am

I have felt very redneck before by drinking wine out of a solo cup before someone bought me wine glasses for Christmas!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 7th, 2012
10:59 am

Bluz you can have this dude if want him, y’all seem to be clicking why give up or settle for FWB when it can more. I know you say you don’t want more but y’all keep knocking boots the feelings will creep in and excersize a that demon that tells you to stand pat.

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
11:00 am

Blackfoote – She’s already admitted to wanting to more. They’ve only done it once.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:00 am

And again I will say, Bluz, that you are gonna do what you wanna do. I’m trying to turn over a kinder, gentler leaf, but I’m having to bite my tongue on this one, girlie.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:01 am

Red solo cup…..I fill you up….

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
11:02 am

ITL – I think drinking a beer or two before getting to the shots is like easing into a cold pool. Sometimes its better to just cannon ball in there. SHOTS ANYONE!!! Even if i drink a Henieken, I throw a shot or two in the bottle. lol

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
11:02 am

ITL, that’s what makes them so good, you think you’re drinking milkshakes then BAM!!!

Bluz, texting every day is constant texting

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
11:03 am

Cel you’re late, they’ve done it twice in less than a week, (past FWB stages)

disco

August 7th, 2012
11:04 am

slim – I’m not a beer drinker but I am a fan of a shot or two makes almost any drink better. don’t let me get a sonic lemonberry slush with some vodka in it. in the wintertime I love a cup of hot chocolate with a shot of amaretto in it. lol. lawd I probably come off as a big old lush.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:06 am

@Slim: Not me….I know it just prolongs the inevitable, but I gotta ease my way in.

@Stamps: Those are the drinks that I like to call a woohoo. You’re sitting on your bar stool, having a nice time, enjoying your drink, and then you stand up and it’s like “Woo-hoo!” But no milk and liquor for ITL. That’s asking for trouble.

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
11:06 am

texting every day is constant texting HOLLERS! :lol:

Try drinking wine out of a coffee mug. Gotta get it anyway you can get it. Better yet, save a cup and drink it straight out of the bottle. ;-)

kimmie

August 7th, 2012
11:08 am

Light – Visited Bulldog Nation last week. The kids had a blast! Went back to that little Indian store and got some really nice beads for jewelrymaking. Caught a good sale on t-shirts at the campus bookstore, of all places!

For Real

August 7th, 2012
11:10 am

For Real now slapping the ish out of Bluz with a FWB stamp!!!

That should it!!! For Real now playing with Slim’s single chin hair.

disco

August 7th, 2012
11:11 am

slim – I have a crazy straw specifically for drinking straight out of the bottle. don’t judge me.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
11:11 am

So ITL you’re a WooHoo girl (LOL)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 7th, 2012
11:11 am

Cely this could be Bluz’s op to gain a good guy I hope it is she deserves it.

And now I must leave for lunch (too early for me) but I got a 1pm meeting at another location. I leave now I can chill all the way over there.

Be easy folks, before go I gotta take a shot disco. What was that disco a mental day? Uhn huh we know you went on a date this weekend and got tangled up. (Caught Up)………..LOL :)

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
11:12 am

Disco = lush IJS (LOL) but i aint judging, do you!

For Real

August 7th, 2012
11:13 am

Kimmie: Did you hear what that skank ass Skylar said to Walt? I can’t stand that bytch!!!

For Real now feeling like he’s gossiping about Day’s of Our Lives.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
11:13 am

ITL~ Let’s have a party! Let’s have a party! :lol:

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
11:14 am

Mmmmm, hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps. YUM! :)

We start tailgates (especially when it’s cooler) with coffee and amarula. mmm, mmm, good.