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Dating: How to end FWBs?

I don’t know how many of you have been in this situation, but I am curious to read opinions on it: You have what you thought was the ideal Friends With Benefits arrangement. You are both starting to enjoy the perks that come with the no strings attached set up. Alas, all good things must come to an end. How do you terminate the benefits of Friends with Benefits?

Maybe one of you starts to catch feelings and violate the terms of the FWB arrangement. Or perhaps you have found an actual relationship potential. Whatever the case, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in the amount of drama or hurt feelings.

Have you ever had to end a FWB situation? How did you go about it? Were you straight up and honest? Did you remain friends (with no benefits?) Or did you choose the fade to black, disappearing act approach?

What is the best way to end it? Does it depend on what the benefits were?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

386 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
9:48 am

Wow Cels word of the day calendar is paying off (LOL)

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
9:49 am

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
9:49 am

Single and Happy – Mmeello fell up in here with that. I’d never heard of it so I googled it.

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
9:52 am

Cel when I see the puddytat, it’s open, not closed like a CT (LOL)

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
9:52 am

Mmmmm, BP just stopped by to say hi. :oops: Got me feeling some kinda way…..

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
9:54 am

Good Morning! I have missed you all the past couple of days. Too much work! :razz:

On topic: I think that the FWB thing always ends because someone starts catching feelings. At that point, it’s how you handle it that determines if you will remain friends. On the fbuddy thing, I’m with slim & Lily~ If it’s just sex, then why do I care how you feel about it ending?

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
9:55 am

it’s open, not closed like a CT

Ummmmmmm……

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
9:56 am

Hmm what ITL that’s my super power (LOL)

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
9:56 am

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
9:35 am
S/H – I notice that you have a lot of ‘knowledge’ on the topic. Are you addicted to FB/FWB? lol

Had to laugh because for some, this is a single and happy guy’s coat of armor.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
9:58 am

What’s your super power? Finding “open” spots to dive in???? I’m just wondering where you hang out that they’re all “open” like that. I’m picturing a spot with poles and a stage….. :)

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
9:59 am

Single and Happy – Well, we all know how it works and functions but on sight, if you’re a pro you should be able to recognize. I haven’t started anything off with just “wide open” Sorry if that TMI, I see Single and Happy wants to go ratchet today….lololol

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:00 am

ITL…it’s a possibility! But…trying my best to just keep it in check! I’ll enjoy what it is at the moment. :-)

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:00 am

Ratchet according to the Urban Dictionary (for HST’s sake…..lolololol)

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
10:03 am

Bluz, the best thing to do for yourself is to be honest. From what I’ve been reading, it’s a “strong” possibility you are going to catch feelings (more than you already have). You don’t seem to have a strong enough “constitution” to be in a FWB arrangement.

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:03 am

@Bluz: I’m not gonna be hard on you, or give you unsolicited tough love, because ultimately, you are gonna do what you want. But, if you can handle it (and that is a big “if” for a lot of folks), living in the moment and just enjoying things for what they are at this moment in time can be a lot of fun! :)

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:05 am

S/H – The hoohaa defaults to Camel Toe formation at all times except during sex. So you never seen a woman prior to having sex in Camel Toe formation? I mean do you walk in the door and she’s eagle spread?

I’m just asking?

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:06 am

@C: I LOVE the Urban Dictionary. Did you see where I referred Stamps to it yesterday? :)

I had to look up ratchett. Those usage examples they give crack me up.

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:06 am

Bluzy – I’m not going to have any words of wisdom for you today :) :)

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:07 am

ITL – No, I missed that on yesterday. I don’t really refer to the UD but I think it’s funny if I google something and the UD’s definition comes it. Can you say ghetto fab?? lol

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:07 am

@C’s 10:05: Did you see my 9:58? I can’t wait to hear the answer to this one. :)

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
10:07 am

ITL I am a diver (LO) I don’t do the skrip clubs (LOL)

Cel, the only ones i’ve seen that look like that was when changing a diaper, and aint nothing sexy about that, grown women have lips (LOL) okay we getting to nasty now. Who thought of this topic??

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:09 am

Leggs…I know…gotta be careful. I do “like” him and I have a strong feeling he likes me too. I’m just taking it easy and living it one day at a time…

SlimUno

August 7th, 2012
10:10 am

I think this will be the only thing I say as far as the BluzyBass girl thing…just seems as if that mind of yours is always 50 steps ahead of what’s going on live and in color. In order to enjoy “what is going on at the moment for whatever it is’ you’re going to have to come back a few feet. Don’t want to be living “Back to the Future” style when it comes to the fwb deal. Just be vewy vewy carefwul :D

disco

August 7th, 2012
10:10 am

ITL – I needed a mental health day like nobody’s business. still got some ghetto to work out of my system.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:11 am

Cel…I understand! :-)

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
10:12 am

Cel I’m not a pro, pros get paid, I’m still an amateur at this o:-)

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:13 am

@disco: Gurl, I need one of those in the worst kinda way. My toes need to be in some sand with my butt in a lounge chair with a cool drink in my hand. :) Scratch that – several cool drinks.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:14 am

Slim…thanks. I kind of think I’m testing myself. Trying to pull it back so that I can just live in the moment! I’ve been bad about worrying too much about what will or will not happen…I just need to be happy with what is happening!

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
10:16 am

ITL I’m making my reservations for that cool drink right now

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:16 am

@Slim: Are you hunting wabbits??? :lol:

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:17 am

O/T…My fingers hurt after my bass lesson last night! Now that I have some exercises to work on, I can’t wait to get back to it this evening! I wish I could bring my bass to work. LOL!

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:18 am

@Bluz: I stand by my 10:03. Remember: the 30,000 foot view, not the microscopic magnified by 10,000 view. ;)

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
10:18 am

Bluzy has already moved past the FWB stage.

disco

August 7th, 2012
10:19 am

ITL – I was drinking tequila and pineapple juice all weekend until I ran out of pineapple juice at which time I just drank the tequila. there’s no stopping the kid. lol.

bluz – and I’m sure there’s an office full of folks that are grateful that you can’t bring your bass to work.

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:19 am

My toes will be in the sand for Labor Day weekend!!! I can’t wait to get back to Charleston!

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:20 am

Single and Happy – I think I just saw the word diaper??? Okay we’re going to shift a bit here. We might be heading south….lolololol

disco – Unleash on us. What’s wrong?

Bluzy – :)

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
10:20 am

@Bluz~ Since I wasn’t around yesterday, did Mr. Man come through before he left town? Just curious…

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:21 am

Tequila makes me cringe!!! Unless it’s mixed in a margarita! Actually, a friend introduce me to tequila mixed with Squirt soda…not bad at all! Just can’t drink it straight. Brings back bad memories of when I thought I would die for 3 days after drinking too much of it!

And…you’re right…I’m sure my co-workers are glad that I can’t bring the bass to work at this moment!

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
10:22 am

disco~ We were vibing this weekend. After the day I had in court on Fri, I needed LOTS of drinks! I was sipping on Scooby Snacks. Yum Yum!

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:22 am

Bluzy has already moved past the FWB stage.

I didn’t want to be the one to say it. I’m just reposting :)

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:22 am

CC – Yes…he did come over on Thursday and rocked my world!!! We’ve been texting since he’s been gone.

Comon Cents

August 7th, 2012
10:24 am

Bluz~ Texting while he’s out of town= already past FWB stage. Have to agree with C & Single…

Leggs

August 7th, 2012
10:24 am

ITL ~ “Ratchet” is the new word used by teenagers! That and getting “jugged.”

disco

August 7th, 2012
10:25 am

C – ain’t nothing wrong. last week I came real close (three days in a row) to telling a co-worker a thing or two which was the catalyst for the mental health day. just had to take that heffa out of the equation for a minute. as for the tequila – what? I need a reason to drink? if so, I drink because 1) I feel like it 2) what is it for if not to drink 3) it’s happy hour somewhere. my point is I don’t need a reason. lol.

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:25 am

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:27 am

disco – I just asked to unleash on the mental issue…lol Good thing you didn’t snap. Don’t want to read about it on the news. I could recommend “woo sah” but sometimes that don’t work…lol

I’m not mindful of drinking issues…lol

Bluzgirl

August 7th, 2012
10:28 am

CC – what are Scooby Snacks?

Into the Light

August 7th, 2012
10:28 am

LOL@disco. Reminds me of the time we ran out of Margarita mix and started using sunny delight. I think we named them something like redneck tequila sunrises. :)

Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"

August 7th, 2012
10:28 am

Disco, I like those reasons, here’s one more, hell i’m grown (LOL)

Celisea

August 7th, 2012
10:29 am

I was afraid somebody was gonna ask about the scooby snacks. I was secretly hoping not…lol