Dating: Dealing with rejection?
Did you hear the one about guy that approached a girl, then urinated on her when she brushed him off? If only this was just a bad joke! This. Really. Happened. In real life. Granted, the guy was drunk, but that is no excuse for his behavior.
Single people have to deal with rejection. It’s just a fact of dating life that you can’t get away from. How you handle the rejection shows your character and perhaps your sanity (or lack thereof). The really tough part of rejection is that our egos are bruised. We like to think that we can get who we want, when we want them. That is not reality, though.
I have had run-ins with dudes who did not handle my polite way of turning them down. It’s never a pretty scene but I try to remember that people tend to act out when they are rejected. It’s not personal.
Do you think you handle rejection well when it comes to dating? Why can’t it be a simple shoulder shrug, and then on to the next?
Why do people take rejection in dating so hard? What do you do when someone turns you down or declines your advances?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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396 comments Add your comment
Tank Head
August 2nd, 2012
5:42 am
When you become a bitter, psychotic, impersonating, deranged, multiple-face wearing clown all because you was rejected, then you just might have a wee bit of an issue. If you have to parade as a clown just to catch a laugh BECAUSE you aren’t funny as your normal self, you might have rejection issues. If you develop multiple personality disorder, seeking attention, because rejected, seek help. If you are morbidly obese and wondering why women run, don’t….put down the supersized Zak Snack Pack. Instead, buy yourself a clue. Don’t go around blaming others. If you have pretend to be someone else anonymously JUST to talk or seek information because as yourself, you can’t catch even a conversation, YOU HAVE REJECTION ISSUES!
I beat Lily!
Lily
August 2nd, 2012
6:07 am
People have a right to like and desire who they want. Cry me a river. If you sent a body shot instead of the head shot from high school, maybe the rejection wouldn’t seem so severe. People like who they like. Sometimes it’s not you. Whose fault is that?? Not theirs. Deal with it!
DreamsMaterialize
August 2nd, 2012
6:10 am
How you handle rejection says a lot about you, but how you reject someone says just as much. If a woman isn’t into me, no problem. At the end of the day I don’t need every woman to be into me; just the ONE that counts.
oddmanout
August 2nd, 2012
6:55 am
Good Morning!!
Some people dont handle rejection well at all. One reason they might “act out” is do to the fact that they have used their time talking to you. Time, unlike money, you can NEVER get back.
Tank Head
August 2nd, 2012
7:09 am
Adults acting out is unheard of. Take your sippy cup and get the hell out of the sandbox.
oddmanout
August 2nd, 2012
7:12 am
@Tank
LMAO!! So true! Im so using that one
Tank Head
August 2nd, 2012
7:13 am
If you believe every attempt should be a win, you are badly mistaken. Any adult acting out need their a– severely whipped!
Tank Head
August 2nd, 2012
7:23 am
How a person says no is not the issue. The inability to accept and move on, is where it lies. And when the issue is you, any way “no” comes, will be an issue.
Tank Head
August 2nd, 2012
7:27 am
If you say “no problem”, then don’t still have issues of “acting out” years later. LOL
Peace out!
Ron Burgundy
August 2nd, 2012
7:47 am
Hello! When I’m rejected, I simply target that woman’s every move. What can I say? I’m a sore loser!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 2nd, 2012
7:59 am
Not much I can tell a dude that takes rejection to heart. A grown man should already know it happens.
Good Morning:
All your favorite amenities are ready for your enjoyment, knock yourselves out.
Exiled!
August 2nd, 2012
8:13 am
Oooh k..bunch of disguised regulars or regular lurkees?
whataaeeveer..biting my lip!
The dude is a drunk Diva and the chic passed by as he was milking his cow! No big story here. Other than don’t stray in dark alleys..drunks hangout there.
Coffee!
good merning!
mark
August 2nd, 2012
8:14 am
as long as the snatch only been with black, im not going anywhere. even if shes not interested.
Exiled!
August 2nd, 2012
8:16 am
Ohh ok i had to go read the story
Drunk
Still
Monroe
August 2nd, 2012
8:29 am
At least 2 women I’ve rejected in the past did not take it well at all. They kind of scared me a little.
It’s all about self-confidence, folks. People who lash out when rejected typically don’t have any. And that’s not just in the dating world, either.
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
8:41 am
Jaysus H! Why don’t you climb down off of that cross, tear it apart and use the wood to build a bridge. I hate the guy that trys to holler and when you politely tell him “insert rejection line here”
he has to go into how you weren’t all that anyway!
Ummm… I never said I was. You the one tryin to holler…
Please get over yourselves people and act like adults!
On another note: good morning, errbody!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 2nd, 2012
8:41 am
It doesn’t matter if he is drunk if I knew the dude peed on my lady or sister, one of us (mainly him) would be in some deep pain before going to jail.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 2nd, 2012
8:45 am
Hello there Comon I know what you’re talking about. I had a friend tell me about an incedent she had with a guy.
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
8:47 am
This is one of my biggest pet peeves and I get righteously indignant even if it’s not me that it’s happening to! I hate that pre-school ish. (We can’t even qualify that as HS ish because high schoolers these days have more sense than that…)
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
8:47 am
Good morning peeps,
I wouldn’t be nearly as ‘bothered’ on rejection from a stranger as I would from someone i’ve been talking to/dating/in a relationship with.
Bluzgirl
August 2nd, 2012
8:55 am
Rejection sucks. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t feel a little pang when you get rejected. I may pout a little, but not in front of dude. Quietly…to myself. (and to this blog…LOL).
I feel bad when I reject someone also because I know what it feels like. I have a hard time with conflict and I try to be as nice as can be. Usually, I’ll lie and say I’m seeing someone already. In the past, I have said that I’m a lesbian and that didn’t really work…made him try harder!!!
Celisea
August 2nd, 2012
9:06 am
Morning!
On the dude in Diva’s post, I wish a dude would urinate on me. That would be that last tee tee he takes….and I’m dead serious. That’s disrespect and crass beyond any place my mind can go. Who does that?
On topic: Rejection is not the easiest pill to swallow. But, as we always say, it’s a part of life and a part of dating. I actually think you can have takeaways in these type scenario. I think I deal pretty well with rejection.
If you’re found to be dishonest and less than forth coming and he or she has a problem with that, please don’t claim that as you rejecting them. He or she had a problem with your dishonesty.
And if it’s decided that it’s just not a good fit for either, as much as your ego would like, that’s not really “rejection” either. Please don’t be one of those dudes or chicks, telling a different version and claiming a win win for yourself…lol
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
9:06 am
Bluz – Telling guy that’s hitting on you, that you’re lesbian is basically translated by his ears as a potential invitation. lol
DreamsMaterialize
August 2nd, 2012
9:10 am
Most guys learned at the age of 2 that rejection is part of the game. Suck it up and move on. There is value in how you treat others though. Give a dude a break sometimes. lol
Celisea
August 2nd, 2012
9:11 am
Oh, and don’t be that person that’s claiming you can deal well with rejection but when no one is looking, you’re somewhere having a temper tantrum. So not a good look
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
9:12 am
Dreams~ The old “throw a dog a bone” mentality? Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full!
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
9:17 am
Every chick has probably experienced walking by some dudes who are pssting at them. The chick keeps walking or rolls her eyes at dude. Then dude calls said chick a biya biya because she didn’t give him any play. lol
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
9:18 am
My mother always told me that if he whistles at you, he’s gonna whistle at the next girl who walks past too. It’s just a matter of what dummy takes the bait.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 2nd, 2012
9:21 am
Hey Cely…….@9:06 like everything you said.
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
9:22 am
O/T: No offense to anyone but I’m soooo tired of hearing about the whole Chick-fil-a deal
Celisea
August 2nd, 2012
9:24 am
Morning my BBB! Thanks! How are you today?
DreamsMaterialize
August 2nd, 2012
9:25 am
Dreams~ The old “throw a dog a bone” mentality? Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full!
Comon Cents You’re misunderstanding. I’m certainly NOT saying to accept BS from dudes who are obviously disrespectful. I’m saying that when a guy approaches respectfully and you’re just not interested, no need to come off the top ropes on him. lol
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
9:26 am
Slim~ I’m with you. Like Chick-Fil-A? Eat there. Don’t? Don’t eat there. But for the love of all that’s holy please STFU about your choice because I don’t care!
Celisea
August 2nd, 2012
9:27 am
Awwwww, I’m so proud of Chick-fil-a
I trying to see where I can rally on their behalf 
disco
August 2nd, 2012
9:28 am
dang. y’all up in this joint discussing thangs already. way to go!!! I know a chick who was shot – literally shot – by a guy after rejecting him. in dude’s defense (if you can really defend a dude who pulled out a gun and shot a chick) he spent all night chatting her up, buying her drinks and dancing with her. at the end of the night he thought she was going home with him. she refused. he followed her outside and shot her.
CC/slim – my take on chik-fil-a (and all political issues really) is that folks can either 1) agree 2) disagree but agree to disagree or 3) don’t agree to disagree but at least respect that the other side is entitled to their opinion. the problem – in disco’s very humble opinion – is that too many folks want to try to force other folks to be on their team. it doesn’t work like that.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 2nd, 2012
9:28 am
My lady friend told me a guy bought her a drink and when she left him he followed her around the bar. He grabbed her by the wrist and squeezed it tight to where she had to jerk away from him. Some folks don’t take it well and is a powder keg ready to blow.
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
9:29 am
CC – That’s just like signing a petition to have the M & M company stop making green M & M’s because you don’t like eating them. Why penalize everyone else that does not share the same opinion about your beliefs? Not to mention, I don’t see why his belief is that much of a surprise. We’ve turned into a society of crying, whining bullies. Anyway…is it too early to be thinking about lunch?
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
9:31 am
I’m saying that when a guy approaches respectfully and you’re just not interested, no need to come off the top ropes on him. lol
Dreams~ But oftentimes, when I try to politely indicate that I’m not interested (for whatever reason) dude takes that as a challenge and wants to MAKE you like him. hat’s when I have to Karddashian his a$$ and be brutal.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 2nd, 2012
9:32 am
Doing fine Cely, we’re almost at another weekend here.
disco
August 2nd, 2012
9:36 am
CC – I have had a guy or two get confrontational when rejected. they get all “what? you think you too good?” all that’s not even necessary. to flip it and not just dog the guys I’ve witnessed the simple, clingy chicks go to bawling and boo hoo’ing when they got rejected. never understood that foolishness. girl thinks it’s okay to throw herself at someone and when a dude doesn’t catch her she can’t handle it.
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
9:39 am
too many folks want to try to force other folks to be on their team
disco – Exactly —->BULLY Justice
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
9:40 am
Slim/disco/C~ Unless you are fully prepared to question the political and religious affiliations of every organization that you do business with, this should be a moot discussion. I am very sure that Jewish businesses donae to organizations that advance their agenda. Same with Christian or Muslim. However, when I go to Starbucks for coffee or Einstein Bros for a bagel, I am not thinking about their politics. I am thinking about coffee and bagels. I mean, realistically, are you going to stop driving a gasoline vehicle because OPEC kills homosexuals? Are you going to stop shopping on Amazon because they support gay marriage? If not, then for the love of God, let this issue go!
Celisea
August 2nd, 2012
9:43 am
Comon Cents – I mean, realistically, are you going to stop driving a gasoline vehicle because OPEC kills homosexuals? Are you going to stop shopping on Amazon because they support gay marriage? If not, then for the love of God, let this issue go!
I agree. Boycotting won’t stop folks’ blessing anyway (okay you might not have said that part…but ijs…lol).
disco
August 2nd, 2012
9:47 am
CC – and your post is my point. some folks are putting way too much emphasis on something that really doesn’t – or shouldn’t – matter all that much. I think some people might just have too much time on their hands or maybe they want to feel like they are a part of something. I don’t know but like you I don’t intend for my random everyday purchases to be political statements. I buy stuff because I want it/like it/need it and for no other reason.
hmm. I’m desperately trying to think of a rejection story to get this thing back on topic before we have a line at the soapbox. lol. I don’t have anything. it’s almost the weekend though. maybe some of you will get dolled up, go out, reject a few passes and take notes.
Bluzgirl
August 2nd, 2012
9:48 am
Blog monster keeps eating my posts…
I was basically saying what CC said. My brother got very upset with me because I had a milkshake from CFA yesterday. I’m all for supporting the independently owned and operated stores, whose opinions I know nothing about and don’t care to know. I just want my good chicken!
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
9:49 am
Morning, all.
He peed on her??? Oh he77 no! Cellblock C, here I come. Y’all give to the ITL honeybun and noodle fund.
Bluzgirl
August 2nd, 2012
9:50 am
I would NEVER let anyone (besides my best friend) see the disappointment I feel after being rejected. Usually, it doesn’t stick around long and I keep it moving!
disco
August 2nd, 2012
9:52 am
ITL – I don’t think we need to put money on your books just yet. I, for one, would not convict if I was sitting on the jury. as far as I’m concerned, peeing on folks and spitting on folks justify self defense.
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
9:53 am
CC – You sound like the chick on the Bert Show this morning, as far as using the same examples she did. Is that you? lol
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
9:55 am
Back On Topic: (sort of) Why is it never the guy you want to talk to you that comes over to holla? It’s always some velour track suit, gold chain hanging with Lee press on chest hair and bad teeth. Just once, could Idris Elba come over and hit on me?