Dating: Dealing with rejection?
Did you hear the one about guy that approached a girl, then urinated on her when she brushed him off? If only this was just a bad joke! This. Really. Happened. In real life. Granted, the guy was drunk, but that is no excuse for his behavior.
Single people have to deal with rejection. It’s just a fact of dating life that you can’t get away from. How you handle the rejection shows your character and perhaps your sanity (or lack thereof). The really tough part of rejection is that our egos are bruised. We like to think that we can get who we want, when we want them. That is not reality, though.
I have had run-ins with dudes who did not handle my polite way of turning them down. It’s never a pretty scene but I try to remember that people tend to act out when they are rejected. It’s not personal.
Do you think you handle rejection well when it comes to dating? Why can’t it be a simple shoulder shrug, and then on to the next?
Why do people take rejection in dating so hard? What do you do when someone turns you down or declines your advances?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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396 comments Add your comment
Celisea
August 2nd, 2012
3:27 pm
Single and Happy – I work and pay my own bills…MY OWN BILLS. I don’t think anybody said that. If those the chicks you’re rolling with, sorry. BUT, being booed up has it’s price, for both sides. Nobody come over, chatting, sexing and heading home. You got chicks like “a certain someone” for that. But really, I’m not spending my breath explaining that. If you got a wang and you’re past 25, you already know. If you don’t, well stick with what you know and currently works for you…..lololol
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
3:28 pm
Bluz: Baby….it’s our first anniversary…
Him: Oh yeah? Oh yeah!!!!
Bluz: I bought you a new car, and new clothes, and a new watch. What did you get me?
Him: Same thing I got you on our first date.
Bluz: Really????
Him: Yup. E.Coli and a gas card. Happy Anniversary
(Bluz on line) MIA blog: My boyfriend is acting weird. Do you think I should break up with him? But he’s so nice. He even went and got bacteria just for me. I’m so confused….
disco
August 2nd, 2012
3:29 pm
S/H – I’ve never out and out “asked” for a car payment or mortgage or anything but trust me when I say I gets mine. any guy I’m with, we’ll have an “understanding”. lol. I laugh at chicks who are screwing (and sometimes more than one guy) and yet they walk around with no money. I might give you a pass giving it up to one “in the name of love” but two and three. you better get something. like the comedienne said “you can call me a ho but you can’t call me broke”.
Celisea
August 2nd, 2012
3:29 pm
And paying to play don’t just come with monetary attachments. There are other things. One being, you can’t have a gang of chicks. Yeah, there’s a price.
Celisea
August 2nd, 2012
3:31 pm
And really, a gentleman don’t sweat the small stuff. Seriously.
Bluzgirl
August 2nd, 2012
3:31 pm
ITL – You ain’t right for that!!! LOL
Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"
August 2nd, 2012
3:32 pm
Celisea, when I say asking for money and somewhere to stay, that’s exactly what I meant, so what would that have to do with being cheap?
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
3:33 pm
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
3:33 pm
Do they come in tall, prison cut, dark hair, soulful eyes, and big…..brains?
ITL – You can even get some with criminal rap sheets lol
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
3:36 pm
LOL@Slim. I don’t want him to have a real rap sheet, I just want him cut like Ving when he’s cooking my breakfast – nekkid.
i'm swiss
August 2nd, 2012
3:36 pm
ITL gets a gold star for that 3:28
disco
August 2nd, 2012
3:37 pm
ITL – shut up!!!! I’ve seen that countless times too. won’t happen to the kid.
S/H – I’ll let you have somewhere to stay. I’ll even let you have “asking for money” but I feel like if old girl was on her game she wouldn’t have to ask for money. you’d offer it to her. and I’ll take it a step further. after you get to that point where dude wants to make sure you are good – “baby, do you need anything?” you can always graduate to when he just anticipates the wants/needs and makes sure they are met. like I said, I don’t “ask” for anything. we’ve got an “understanding”.
ITL again – I love that my blog peeps love ving rhames too. in my real life whenever I say he is sexy I get the side eye.
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
3:38 pm
ITL- You’re sure you aren’t For Real dressed like ITL….that skit is FUNNY
HST
August 2nd, 2012
3:39 pm
Hello Bloggers, hang-on…
PPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS, PPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG on the female’s legs…haha, JK.
I only read the first page.
If you can’t handle rejection, then you won’t get anywhere in life. I failed twice before I succeeded at most in life – especially, with women.
Hey CC, Idris is an acquiescence of mine, I’ve done 3 Gumball’s with him, he’s a trip. Super down to earth, and extremely humble for a man of his stature.
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
3:40 pm
Awwww, Swiss…..thanks. (ITL now accepting her award and stepping to the mic)
I’d like to thank the AJC and Wise Diva for building us such a great playhouse. And, of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank my fellow bloggers who bring so much laughter to my day. I’d especially like to thank my Twink and my Zinger BBB for their love and support. And Bluz, because without her, none of this would have been possible.
Thank you so much.”
Comon Cents~ Dazed & Confused
August 2nd, 2012
3:41 pm
Maybe because y’all been here longer this just floats past you, but when I read Bluz’s posts, I can almost hear the optimism in them and I just SMDH thinking, this is going to end badly. Y’all remember the rope a dope, right?
Comon Cents~ Dazed & Confused
August 2nd, 2012
3:42 pm
HST~ So, ummm… can I get the intro?!? LOL! I would drink that man’s bath water…
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
3:43 pm
LOL@Slim. Nope, but I have picked up a lot from him……. I mean besides Baby Rella.
Bluzgirl
August 2nd, 2012
3:44 pm
Am I really that bad, ya’ll? Now, I’m kind of starting to put other things in my head…like just hanging out and seeing what happens with us…Ugh!!!
i'm swiss
August 2nd, 2012
3:44 pm
ITL — I always knew you could speak into the mic like a pro.
HST
August 2nd, 2012
3:45 pm
CC, with your hubby’s approval…
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
3:46 pm
@Swiss…..dayum. You ain’t gotta tell ‘em about that time in the East Campus shuttle circle….
HST
August 2nd, 2012
3:47 pm
Bluz, get over those/that zero(s), and find a man that brings his share to the table. ProblemS solved…
Bluzgirl
August 2nd, 2012
3:47 pm
No…I just want sex…must repeat that to myself. I don’t want anything more than someone to just hang with and give me some!!!
i'm swiss
August 2nd, 2012
3:48 pm
“Am I really that bad, ya’ll?”
Bluz — Well, I don’t know you, so I can only go by the impression I get from here, but — and I mean this is the best possible way — if you had actually been sitting next to me talking like you post, I would have shot myself about 2 hours ago.
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
3:48 pm
HST~ You have heard of the freebie list, right? He gets his Sanaa Lathan and Halle Berry and I get my Idris Elba and Prince…
Bluzgirl
August 2nd, 2012
3:49 pm
Where do I find those, HST?
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
3:49 pm
Swiss~ You are straight up stoopid!
HST
August 2nd, 2012
3:50 pm
Bluz, what’s up…
hehe.
cba
August 2nd, 2012
3:51 pm
My thoughts on Ms Bluz:
1. She’s female = she gonna do what she wanna do
2. She’s in her early thirties = she grown
3. She’s single and living in the A
4. She has a job
5. She has her own house
6. She goes to therapy regularly
7. She LOVES THE D…is that a problem?
8. She has about thirty years before there’s an issue of living in a house full of cats
Sidenote: Leggs have you read about Ms Sneiderman being arrested today?
Looks like her freedom is over…..living down on lake oconee..WOW
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
3:51 pm
HST~ I got you here…
Bluz~ You don’t find them; you project the right image and carry yourself the right way and they will seek you out.
disco
August 2nd, 2012
3:52 pm
CC – girl I can just hear my daddy now talking about the rope-a-dope.
bluz isn’t in a class by herself. the world is full of them. my neighbor (ms. there goes the neighborhood) is one. she gave a guy $1000 that she’d put aside to take her daughter back to school shopping and had the nerve to cry when she went out that same weekend and he was with another woman. she then progressed to a guy that she purchased furniture/tv for (he didn’t have any), a new phone that she paid the bill on (so he could call her of course), she bought his clothes, gave him spending money. and with all of this, he was whooping her A to boot.
another chick I know just got blood money. her mom passed and she got several hundred thousand in insurance money. she has already given a guy $5k and is whining about him not having paid it back. I told her at the rate she’s going she’ll be broke by next summer because she’s got a history of taking care of men. her poor mother will never stop turning over.
HST
August 2nd, 2012
3:52 pm
CC, I could be your freebie pimp. Prince lived (maybe still does) down the street from my Auntie in MN. I’ll never forget that purple house he lived(lives) in…
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
3:52 pm
@Bluz: Honey, there if there is one thing that I have learned the hard way and would pass on to you, it is this: VALUE YOURSELF FIRST!! You are not meant to chase men, you are meant to be chased. You are not meant to settle, you are meant to have men vying to do enough to make you happy.
How do you do that? Quit being so f’ing needy an accommodating. Make him work for your attention. The right one will. The wrong ones aren’t worth your time anyway.
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
3:55 pm
And Bluz, not only do you have to hear what we tell you, you have to internalize it. And not just the parts that are easy or that you like.
Tough love, from Auntie ITL to you.
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
3:56 pm
How do you do that? Quit being so f’ing needy an accommodating. Make him work for your attention. The right one will. The wrong ones aren’t worth your time anyway
Can the chuch say Amen?!? I can’t hear you… AMEN!!!
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
3:57 pm
HST: Do you and Jules go by there often? I’d love to see Prince’s house.
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
3:58 pm
HST~ While I love Prince and he is on my freebie list, totally couldn’t hook up because he is weird and short in real life. I would rather fantasize from afar. However…on the Idris note, I might turn into Bluz for that man.
disco
August 2nd, 2012
3:58 pm
or, bluz, in the alternative you can continue providing our slow blog day reading entertainment. later for all these folks trying to build you up. you are who you are. in spite of all the blog’s well intentioned advice, you gotta love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
Bluzgirl
August 2nd, 2012
3:59 pm
disco…I don’t go buying my man anything outside of little gifts here and there. There is no giving of real money. My ex from years ago had to borrow some money, I loaned it to him with a written repayment agreement and even after we broke up, he made the monthly payments to me. I’m generous in some ways, but not in every way. Yes…I let my ex live with me without a real job where he could give me money. He was expected to cook, keep kitchen clean, keep other areas of the house clean, mow the grass. I wish I had expected more out of him. BIG LESSON LEARNED! I will not put myself in that position again.
The thing is, when I go out, I do project a good image. I do a lot of charity work in the music community and I’m very professional (except the times I go out just to get wasted…LOL). Everyone knows I have a good heart. I don’t just sleep around any more. I did in the past, but I was with the same man for 2 years. Before him, I was in a 6 month relationship. Before that, I went quite some time without sex. I am learning to value myself more and more every day.
HST
August 2nd, 2012
3:59 pm
I’m outta here ladies and gents, to the PO Box I go.
I have to rotate tomorrow till Saturday, see y’all on next week.
Celisea
August 2nd, 2012
3:59 pm
I stop to do a bit of work and folks running everywhere in here…lol. Let me see if I can catch up.
HST
August 2nd, 2012
4:00 pm
edit: type with y’all next week.
Into the Light
August 2nd, 2012
4:07 pm
Soooo, Swiss and Green Stamps: What’s the difference between a donkey and a burro?
Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"
August 2nd, 2012
4:10 pm
I feel ya Disco
Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"
August 2nd, 2012
4:11 pm
Bluz from earlier, you can’t build a man, either he is or he isn’t! you just have to make up your mind if your’e willing to deal with what he is.
Single and Happy "don't judge others simply because they sin differently than you"
August 2nd, 2012
4:13 pm
ITL burro is spanish for small donkey
Comon Cents
August 2nd, 2012
4:13 pm
ITL~ Burro is just another name for a donkey.
SlimNu
August 2nd, 2012
4:14 pm
Now, I’m kind of starting to put other things in my head…like just hanging out and seeing what happens with us…Ugh!!!
We all could tell you thought that 3 to 4 pages ago…plus that’s how your mind seems to keep working and you need to take that skipping cd and reprogram your player(brain) to think a different way. Just because you see something in your sights does not mean you need it in your life.
Leggs
August 2nd, 2012
4:15 pm
Sidebar to cba ~ Yeah, I read that with such delight. That witch believed she was smart enough to get away with that. She cracked me up when she hugged her lifelong friend after she left the witness stand and whispered to her to essentially find another friend.