Do we need sexual labels?
Apparently, some young hip hop artist related to Billy Ocean (I think?), decided to reveal to the world his past relationship with another man. Mind you, he had an upcoming album that was about to be released, so who knows if this was a brilliant PR move or not.
At any rate, this caused all sorts of buzz and talk about homophobia in hip hop. I also watched people talk about what it means to be straight, gay, bi-sexual or any other sexual labels people have.
I started to wonder why it is important to have these “sexual identities” and does it really matter in the end? Are we attracted to people or to gender?
The same week that Frank Ocean talked about his relationship with another man, Anderson Cooper decided it was time to publicly acknowledge that he was homosexual. I don’t know if it was a shock to many and I even wonder why he felt compelled to talk about it at all. Does it change his image in the public eye as a journalist/talk-show host?
Why do you believe we need sexual labels? What would you do if the person you were dating told you they have had same-sex relationships in the past?
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500 comments Add your comment
Lily
August 1st, 2012
5:49 am
Diva, I’m not sure I understand this one. I don’t know about sexual labels, but I certainly need to know if you are gay. No such thing as “was” gay. For hetero people, there aren’t labels. It is what it is.
Lily
August 1st, 2012
5:55 am
@Exiled: I don’t see you winning!
Ray Charles to the BS -Loves Chick fil-A
August 1st, 2012
6:59 am
@Miss Lily – BINGO! to your 5:49am Really 5:49am ? Who you like doing should only be told to those who you seek to do…Otherwise don’t ask don’t tell.
Lily
August 1st, 2012
7:03 am
@Ray Charles: The early bird catches the worm. Chick-fil-a got nothing on me!
oddmanout
August 1st, 2012
7:05 am
Good Morning!!
Im not gonna say anything on this one cause if i do, it’ll be a flippin book report.
Lily
August 1st, 2012
7:07 am
@oddmanout: Are you labeled?
Good day!
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
7:49 am
Morning All! Blogging from home
Okay, I’ll be waiting for a topic change. I don’t see this inspiring deep discussion.
Everything in this world has a name for it, a label. The gender one is attracted to determines their label. That’s just the way it is, it’s easier and I don’t see the problem with it. Anderson is a person of male gender that is attracted to men. He is gay or homosexual. It’s easier to say he’s gay than to go around saying “oh he likes those that are the same as he is” Gay is not all there is to Anderson, but it is a significant fact that describes who he is.
I am a female that is straight and is married to a male that is straight. It’s not necessary to tell everyone that, but upon meeting each other it helped that we both knew we were not attracted to the same gender. Once that’s established up front, there is no need to bring it up again. I’m not ashamed of my “label” as a straight woman. I don’t see the issue.
Yes, If I were single, I would have a major problem with dating someone that had had a prior experience with one of the same gender. Major. This is something I’m not open-mineded about, sorry. I don’t see a truly straight person having the curiosity to experiement. Just don’t get it. Some say it’s different with women, but not in my world. Never had even the slightest desire. Nope.
Single and Happy
August 1st, 2012
8:04 am
There is a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know anything I don’t want to tell you.
oddmanout
August 1st, 2012
8:08 am
@Lily: Yes, Im gay
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
8:11 am
Single – See you even use labels with your moniker. You are “single” and you are “happy”! Do you have a problem with the way you’ve labeled yourself? Should everyone else?
Just joking!!
Comon Cents
August 1st, 2012
8:15 am
Isn’t everyone labeled? Whether you are straight, gay, bi, transgender, etc. People identify other people by labels. If you are talking to a third party who doesn’t know the person you are referencing, you may use labels to make the person’s identity clear. I.E.: He’s te black, gay guy that sits over there.
But I have to agree with kimmine, topic change. I don’t see this inspiring deep discussion either.
Single and Happy
August 1st, 2012
8:21 am
Kimmie, this page won’t let me comment with out a name, so that’s the first thing I thought of (LOL) Labels are you usually giving by someone else. If someone wants to come and and say their whatever, that’s THEIR business, my question is, why do you think I want, or need to know this??
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
8:27 am
why do you think I want, or need to know this??
Single – Because they like you!
Into the Light
August 1st, 2012
8:35 am
On the topic – blah.
Off topic: Good morning, all! Now where is my BBB with my breakfast?!?!?
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
8:39 am
Light – Bed Bath & Beyond???
Single and Happy
August 1st, 2012
8:39 am
anyway Kimmie (looking for the emoticon for talk to the hand) (LOL)
Into the Light
August 1st, 2012
8:45 am
LOL@Kimmie. BBB=Blog Big Bro, aka Blackfoote.
Celisea
August 1st, 2012
8:49 am
Morning lovelies!!!
On topic: NOTHING….lol
Celisea
August 1st, 2012
8:50 am
ITL – I didn’t wait for BBB, I have 2 slices of raisin toast a boiled egg and I’m running down to get coffee
Have some?
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
8:52 am
Light – Forget BBB, where’s the BBBB? (Blog Big Bro Bartender)!!!
Let’s get it started early up in this camp!!
Into the Light
August 1st, 2012
8:53 am
Yay, C! I’ll take the coffee and the egg, but ixnay on the aisinray oasttay. Can’t do raisins.
Comon Cents
August 1st, 2012
8:53 am
Here’s a topic: If you significant other cheats (emotionally or physically) is there any way to salvage that relationship. Have a buddy that asked me about her S/O. He is having an “emotional affair” (her word, not mine) with someone he works with. They talk on the phone, have lunch together, etc. She went through his phone and says the texts are all innocent but she is very upset by the whole thing. What do you think?
Into the Light
August 1st, 2012
8:54 am
@Kimmie: I’ll bartend. I make a mean bloody mary, bellini, and mimosa. Any of those appeal, or did you have something else in mind?
I’m having a Bailey’s and coffee…..
Into the Light
August 1st, 2012
8:56 am
Actually, I’m gonna have an Amarula and coffee. Mmmmmmm, mmmmmm, good.
Leggs
August 1st, 2012
8:56 am
“I don’t know if it was a shock to many = Not a shock to anyone who has their eyesight and I even wonder why he felt compelled to talk about it at all = He said it was time for him to talk about it because he felt that by him dodging the questions most of his life was somehow exhibit “shame” in who he was. He’s proud and comfortable with himself. That was his reason for talking about it.
Good morning.
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
9:01 am
CC – Ain’t jack about that situation “innocent”. An “emotional” affair is just a “physical” affair that hasn’t had the time or opportunity to happen yet. And why do they need to text each other if they work together?
FIrst of all, is this SO her husband? If not, it’s not worth the discussion in my book. If he is, the only way I see it being salvaged is if dude & chick have no more communication. That means they can’t work together anymore and they have to cut off ALL communication.Then they have to get to the bottom of what it is he’s sharing with ole girl that he can’t talk about or share with his wife.
Celisea
August 1st, 2012
9:03 am
ITL – Anything for you twink
but ixnay on the aisinray oasttay Wheat toast or bagel then for you 
Comon Cents
August 1st, 2012
9:04 am
She is his wife. I used S/O to make the discussion more general. She said that he texts her and talks to her when they are not at work because they are “friends” She is apparently in a relationship too, but my girl didn’t know if she’s married or just booed up.
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
9:04 am
Light – A peach bellini please, one of my favorites!!!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 1st, 2012
9:04 am
I’m straight and she’s straight, that’s as far as we need to go with labels. Not knocking on others this is our choice.
Good Morning:
Sorry lady’s the blog was delayed getting served.
Into the Light
August 1st, 2012
9:06 am
@CC: So, if the texts are all innocent, what makes her think that there is an “emotional affair” going on? I go to lunch with male co-workers all the time, and it doesn’t mean isht.
disco
August 1st, 2012
9:07 am
good morning.
lily – the early bird catches the worm. good for the early bird, bad for the early worm.
CC – re the workplace affair you referenced and the recent discussions here re office romances my only comment is that I must be working in the wrong place. as for your friend, if dude just has a “work wife” and there’s truly nothing going on she needs to chill. if he’s really cheating, she has to decide to stay or go. if she stays, she shuts up never to whine about it again.
Into the Light
August 1st, 2012
9:09 am
@C: I’ll take some whole wheat toast. Thanks, Twink!
@Kimmie: I’ve got my special Bellini coming right up. White peaches, sliced and chilled, and then pureed with just a touch of peach schnapps and topped with champagne. Enjoy!
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
9:09 am
CC – Is it a case where he’s friends with a woman and they are getting a little too chummy, thus making the wife uncomfortable, or has he admitted that he’s really gotten emotionally attached?
Does he say he has no romantic feelings for her whatsoever, but is oblivious to the fact that he’s playing with fire?
Or is he falling for the woman?
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 1st, 2012
9:11 am
Never heard it put this way “a work wife”……….LOL
Celisea
August 1st, 2012
9:13 am
Blackfoote – I have…it’s an old saying here in corporate. Nothing new.
disco
August 1st, 2012
9:13 am
CC – well by all means don’t let her do like a co-worker I’ve mentioned on here previously. hubs had an affair with a chick he worked with and the wife’s solution was to make him quit his job and stay home. dingbat.
BF – really? I’ve always heard the “work wife/work husband” thing. I’m also reminded of an episode of king of queens when doug had an upstairs wife and a downstairs wife. lol.
Celisea
August 1st, 2012
9:14 am
Affairs too deep for me this morning…
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
9:14 am
Light – But do you text your male coworkers? Are any of them married if you do?
I’m with you on that though, just hanging out at lunch with coworkers, be they same-sex or opposite(since we’re questioning labels today) is usually no big deal until it is!
Comon Cents
August 1st, 2012
9:15 am
He says they are just friends. She says what bothers her is that the “work wife” has also become a companion outside of work. IE~ he calls and chats with her on days off, in the evenings about things not related to work, etc. He says no romantic feelings; she says he is not the type to be chatty Cathy. I’ve only met dude a couple of times. He’s polite but definitely not the “life of the party” type of dude who talks to everyone, so I see her point.
Comon Cents
August 1st, 2012
9:16 am
CC – well by all means don’t let her do like a co-worker I’ve mentioned on here previously. hubs had an affair with a chick he worked with and the wife’s solution was to make him quit his job and stay home. dingbat.
disco~ So who pays the bills now?
Celisea
August 1st, 2012
9:16 am
So, if the texts are all innocent, what makes her think that there is an “emotional affair” going on? I go to lunch with male co-workers all the time, and it doesn’t mean isht.
Me too. This is one of those things where you have to pay folks no mind. If I know it’s innocent and I know me, that nothing will cross the line, sorry if you see it for something more.
kimmie
August 1st, 2012
9:17 am
Light – Girl that drink sounds fantabulous. I mean my imagination is running wild on how good it would taste if I actually had it right now!LOL!!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 1st, 2012
9:18 am
LOL…….@disco and Cely, I’m known to be last in the loop sometimes but that one never showed on the radar.
Into the Light
August 1st, 2012
9:19 am
@Kimmie: Not really on the texts. We mostly limit it to FB interaction.
I guess I can see her point of view, but I’d be careful about making something out of what is most likely nothing.
Single and Happy
August 1st, 2012
9:21 am
Comon , sounds like they need some counseling, if it’s that big of an issue to her.
Leggs
August 1st, 2012
9:21 am
T-SPLOST was an overwhelmingly HELL NO!
Single and Happy
August 1st, 2012
9:21 am
Hello Celisea, getting deep in the morning (hmmmm)
Into the Light
August 1st, 2012
9:23 am
@Kimmie – they are delicious. We have them at early tailgates a lot. They’re even better if you (slip a little vodka into the peach puree, and then) chill it almost to the point of frozen before you spoon it into the flutes and add the champagne. So cool and refreshing!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 1st, 2012
9:24 am
Leggs I was leaning toward it but at the polls I said what the hell they taxing us to the hilt already. I thought like a tea-partier for an instant.