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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Archive for August, 2012

Dating: Trivial pursuit?

I was surprised to learn that a couple of my guy friends were still pursuing women who had not shown any real interest in them. I know some men like the challenge of chasing some women. Women they believe are worth the effort. How persistent did they plan to be, though?

I wonder how men decide that a woman is going to be worth all that work. Would they need to see some effort on her part to reciprocate?
I know a lot of women who treat men badly, simply because they know that the guy will stick around and endure it.

Do men like a challenge? Is it always about the chase and the pursuit that makes it exciting?

Ladies, do you know think playing hard to get is a good approach when men are pursuing you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Craziest stunt for love?

I know I have publicly admitted to being a completely lazy dater with barely enough energy to devote to one guy. I can also confess that I am cautious (overly?) about giving my heart to someone and being vulnerable.

The reason I am this way, though – is because I have been stuck on stupid for a guy before. It wasn’t pretty, people! I was not the rational, level-headed, wise woman you all know and love (*cough*) today. I was the snooping, insecure, pull out all the stops kind of girl. Why? Because a man had me “feeling” as if I was head over heels.

That’s right people, we have all pulled some crazy stunts in the name of “love” or lust, or infatuation. Let’s confess. What is the craziest thing you have done to impress someone or an attempt to make someone fall for you?

No judgment zone, right? Right?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Left a good impression?

If you ever want to know if you had a significant impact on someone’s life, have a little chat with your ex. It could be a harrowing or enlightening experience – or both! We may never fully realize the impression we made on someone, but experiences are meant to teach us things.

What do you think you taught the people you have loved? It could be what they don’t want in their next partner, or what they absolutely would love to have in their future mate.

It is one of great things about dating, the chance to learn about who is ideal for us. Do you think you left a good impression on your dates and people you dated long-term?

Would you be surprised if they told you that you changed them?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Left a good impression? »

Relationships: What is your hurry?

Have you ever met someone you liked a lot and things started going super fast? It’s like your romantic interest went from potential interest to possible soul mate in a matter of days. What happened?!

I think a lot of us get caught up in someone new that we tend to jump over a couple of steps. What is the urgency? Why the need to rush things on the fast track?

I can remember an older woman telling me that you should not make any decision about a man until you have seen him in every season: winter, spring, summer, fall. Yes, apparently men can have different sides to their personality that is specific to a season!

Old wives tale aside, I can understand why seeing a person in different situations can show you a lot about their character. Do you believe that rushing a relationship can allow a person’s true character to be observed?

How do you slow things down without pushing everything off the rails? Would you be offended if the person you were dating wanted to slow things …

Continue reading Relationships: What is your hurry? »

Dating multiple people: For or against

I don’t know why some women are so opposed to dating multiple people. We can multitask almost everything in our lives, but men? We hesitate to do so! I am sure everyone has their reasons, but I wonder is dating multiple people the best way to meet The One?

Almost all my guy friends are seeing a cadre of women – fascinating women, too. They are upfront with everyone they date and tell me that they make no false promises. Why does it seem so easy for them to do it?

I know men and women view dating and relationships differently. This is yet another example of how we have vastly different ideas on dating and looking for the one special “forever” person.

Let’s argue both sides today:

If you are in favor of dating multiple people, state the reasons why. Have you tried it personally? Why do you think it was easy or not easy for you?

If you are strongly opposed to the idea, state why you think it is a recipe for disaster. Have you tried it and got a lot of drama and …

Continue reading Dating multiple people: For or against »

Dating: Play or get played

There are a lot of cynics on the dating scene. Heck, I admit that I was mayor of Bitterville a couple of times. It’s hard not to become at least a little protective of our egos, hearts, and emotions.

I met a really great guy the other day at the recycling center at DeKalb’s Farmer’s Market. We had the most random chat about Atlanta and dating. He was of the mindset that you have to play the dating game – at least a little. If not, you could find yourself being used and abused, even when your intentions are good.

It sounded a little cynical to me, so I asked him when did this attitude about women and relationships come about. He launched into a really awful account of his last girlfriend who played really dirty dating games with him. Of course he is gun shy!

Do you think that a lot of single people think this way? Are we slow to trust the intentions of others? Do we question their motives too much?

If we are all thinking that we have to play or get played, then who is …

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Do women love harder?

I finally watched the Oprah’s Next Chapter – Rhianna. I have to admit, I thought the interview was interesting and I came away with a clearer understanding of the personality behind the pop star image.

During the interview, Rhianna mentioned that her Grandmother would tell her that she should marry someone who loves her more than she loved him. I have always been told the same thing from my Grandmother! Honestly, for a really long time, I didn’t get what this meant.

Now that I am older and have had my heartbroken a couple times, I know what the intent behind the message is. Women love harder than men…naturally. So in order to “balance” things out – you have to have a man who loves you more.

Do you agree with this sentiment? Do you think loving harder/more is about power in a relationship? Is that something a couple in love should even be concerned about?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Do women love harder? »

Is inexperience a bad thing?

When you get to be my age *cough*, you go through enough dating misadventures to get a little “wisdom” (see what I did there?) and gain a lot of experience. You figure out what works, what doesn’t. You define what you like and what you absolutely can’t stand. Experience is a good thing. What happens when you don’t have past experiences though?

I was talking to a friend who is seeing a new guy who is a lot younger than she is, which means he has not dated many women. Sometimes, she can tell because of how he reacts and handles certain situations.
Thankfully, she is a patient woman and feels he is worth it.

Do you think that dating someone who has little or no experience is hard? Have you ever been the first love, first relationship, or first lover? Do you feel any pressure?

They say we are the sum of all of our experiences, what happens when our experiences add up to zero??

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Is inexperience a bad thing? »

Dating in Atlanta competitive?

I was out hanging in our great city recently and I noticed something about the dating scene, it’s competitive. No really, like pull out all the stops, going way overboard to attract people – competitive. It’s one of those things you sort of always knew about the dating scene here, but until you pay close attention, you don’t see the intricate ways it unfolds.

A lot of people in Atlanta are really big on image (fake?) and the appearance of success. You don’t have to actually be successful, just walk and talk like you are. The problem with focusing on the image and appearance is that you really find out later once the bait and switch happens. All this makes the dating scene competitive, a little challenging, and I think a bit shallow.

What do you think? Have you noticed the competitiveness of single people here? Does it bother you? How can you rise above this kind of thing and meet people who are more authentic and genuine?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

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Plastic surgery to improve dating success?

I watched a news report recently that featured a young lady who made the decision to get plastic surgery in order to improve her dating choices. Apparently, her chin, nose, or whatever body part she displayed on her online dating pictures did not garner the dates she really wanted.

She truly believed that her flaw was the source of her dating disappointments. I don’t know if this is extremely sad/disturbing or if it is a sign of the times. Are we becoming more shallow?

The idea that we have to chase some standard of beauty to attract people who seek partners solely on their looks just does not sit well with me. Obviously, we won’t to feel confident and attractive to people, but at what cost?

I wonder if the young woman ever considered writing a new profile instead of getting plastic surgery. Why does changing the outward appearance become more important than finding someone who likes us just as we are?

Maybe I am being too critical? What do you think. How do you think …

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