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Archive for July, 2012

Parents influence relationships?

Recently, I was talking to my friend about his Father’s pending nuptials to wife number four. Obviously, my friend has doubts about how long this marriage will last, but he also commented on his own marriage potential.

He thinks that because of his Father, he probably would not make a good husband. This surprised me because my friend has always said that he wanted to be married with kids. Why would his father’s multiple marriage have an impact on him?

Do you think our parents influence our perception on love, marriage, and relationships? Do we learn from them – either from their mistakes, or what they got right?

How do you think your parents shaped your views on love?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Relationships: Do you have a dark side?

I have had Kelly Clarkson’s song, Dark Side, in my head all weekend! She sings, “Everybody has a dark side” and this is the absolute truth. We all have a dark side, so when do you show yours?

When you are dating someone great, you secretly wait for something to be “revealed” because NO one can be this fantastic. Then one day, you witness them lose their cool, or you see something totally unexpected. Are you relieved that you finally got to see a true picture of who they are?

Has that ever happened to you? Have you showed or seen the dark side of personality? How did you handle it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Relationships: Do you have a dark side? »

Dating dilemma: Lazy courtship

We all like to see genuine effort from people pursuing us. It can be truly annoying to be interested in someone who does not get the concept of courting. Sure it is an old fashioned term, but it’s still very necessary. How are single people supposed to deal with lazy courtship?

What do you do when the person you are seeing lack creativity or consistency? Does it mean they aren’t really that interested or are we now just accustomed to bare minimum efforts?

Why do you think lazy courtship is problematic to the dating scene?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Coming on too strong?

I finally got a chance to watch Bravo’s new reality show, Miss Advised. The show features 3 dating/relationship experts who don’t always follow their own advice – hence the name.

One of the ladies – Julia, has show some pretty brave, albeit pushy dating tactics. She has practically begged for one guy to kiss her (he wouldn’t), and she tried to impress another guy with a limo ride. Of course, with cameras filming her every move, she probably upped the ante a bit. I literally cringed at her over the top behavior. Maybe my ego is way too big, but I don’t know if I would go to such lengths to get a man.

I rarely hear men complain about women coming on too strong. I am sure it happens from time to time, but how do men deal with it?

Ladies, have you ever come on too strong trying to impress a man? Could you tell you went too far?

What do you do when you are too eager and come across as a little pushy or desperate? Should you scale back and try to recover or cut your losses …

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Dating: Reformed player?

Some single people get a bad dating reputation because of past mistakes. Whether it’s breaking hearts or breaking cars, we have all done things we are particularly proud of. There are some things that are harder to live down though.

When you decide to grow up and start “dating responsibly” you probably will face a few challenges in cleaning up your rep. Do people believe you when you tell them that you have changed? A lot of people won’t! You probably will have to show them more than tell them.

A friend of mine found out that she is seeing a guy who has quite a bad dating record. The things people have told her about him so far are enough to fill up a soap opera. Of course, she does not see this side of him at all. He has convinced her that everything she heard was when he was young and dumb. Maybe he is a reformed player?

Do you think there is such a thing as a reformed player? Someone who has learned from their mistakes and cleaned up their act?

Are you reformed? …

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Ex-files: Should you apologize?

“I’m sorry if I ever caused you any pain”. These 8 words popped up on my text messages last week. I didn’t recognize the number, but I didn’t have to. I knew who it was from. I knew why he was saying I’m sorry. I knew that I was not going to reply back.

After years of holding animosity, the text message actually brought closure. Closure I didn’t even know I wanted. Maybe apologizing for your romantic crimes is a good idea? When break ups get messy, people get hurt. Would it be that hard to make amends and let the person know you really felt bad for the way you treated the?

Do you ever regret the way you ended things with someone? Do you feel bad about how you handled situations in the past? Do you think you should apologize to the person?

Has an ex ever reached out to you to apologize for hurting you? Do you think it is appropriate to respond? Would you forgive them?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Are some people off-limits?

My friend Chris just found out that his ex-girlfriend is dating his cousin. I am sure this will cause awkward moments because they were together for a really long time.

He blames his cousin because he did not ask “permission” to date his ex. I think his ex is in the wrong, because of all the guys in the world, why date your ex-boyfriend’s relative? I get the sense that there is some degree of malicious intent going on.

Should there be certain people that should be off-limits to date? Is it fair to ask someone not to pursue a relationship with someone out of loyalty?

Have you ever dated the friend of one of your exes? What about a relative? Do you think that some people would actually date someone out of revenge?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating without a job?

The unemployment numbers are bleak, so logic dictates the dating numbers of the unemployed are equally sad. According to a recent survey conducted by It’s Just Lunch, most women are not willing to date a man without a job.

Now, this does not mean that women are gold diggers. I think it is a reflection of how women view men as providers. Aside from that, have you ever dated someone who didn’t have a job? They often have a lot of internal issues going on, understandably. They may not be able to focus on which restaurant their date may want to try.

One thing I found interesting is the double standard involved. Men don’t mind dating unemployed women! I suppose that makes sense:

“Though joblessness is a social stigma for men, unemployed women have much better odds of meeting someone. Almost two out of every three men are open to dating a woman who is out of work. 19% say they have no reservations at all and 46% were positive, but interested in knowing how unemployed women …

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Dating: Is waiting a problem?

I hear complain all the time about the lack of effort and interest men show in beginning an actual relationship. It seems that a lot of single men expect sex way too early. Before there is any talk of exclusivity, commitment, or even Facebook status changes – men want the relationship to get physical.

A lot of women get the sense that waiting for sex is a problem for men. They start to feel pressure to hook up because they want the guy to stick around and “possibly” start a relationship with them.

Of course, this only leads to disappointment and bitterness, which can lead to a tricky dating scene to navigate. Why do some women think that postponing sex in a new relationship risky?

Guys, do you ever give women the impression that waiting is a problem for you? How would you advise a woman to handle it when she wants to wait but doesn’t want the guy to lose interest?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating dilemma: Nobody likes your mate

My new beau (I know, I’m shocked too) has invited me to attend a wedding that will have loads of his relatives. I’m not all that worried because I’m something like a Mom Whisperer. Mothers love me with their sons, what can I say? It’s a blessing and a curse.

I thought about the men (uhh the one guy) that my parents met and how awful I felt when things didn’t go that well. Dad thought he looked like an inmate because he had a scar on his face. My Father, the comedian still jokingly asks me “What ever happened to Scarface?

I digress. The point is, it can be problematic when your new relationship is tested by disapproval of family or friends. If you are from a close knit family, you are forced to become a mediator. You feel stuck in the middle and you never want to choose between the two. The question is, should you have to?

What happens when nobody likes your mate? How do you handle it when everyone around you has negative things to say about your relationship?

Should you …

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