Sorry Diva, you are misguided if you believe what you wrote. The “wooing” process does not include anything explicit or sexting. I don’t care if everyone is doing it. The “wooing” process is almost nonexistent because courting is no longer practiced. Sexting is just that. It’s inappropriate for young kids, the age group that’s indulging. Children are not consenting adults. Even between consenting adults, there is a big difference in sex over being wooed. Most just want to have sex.

IMO, sexting can be fun and that bit of added spice if you’re beyond needing parental consent, can handle sex and all it brings or being able to handle a sex only arrangement.

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Not into sexting those who are I don’t judge. I’m so old school give me a Player, Playboy magazine or the real thing.

Hi Lily, you went missing a few days good to see you’re back.

Good it’s a new day Morning:

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Good Morning, BF! Is the bar open yet? I think I need an eye opener after this weekend and coffee just ain’t cutting it…

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Morning Comon, how did that weekend go lady? As always when I’m in the building the spread is open to full service.

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hello everyone, hello comon you tall sexy redwood. Courting is just suffering because of sexting, it’s just a lost art that people don’t believe you have to do any more, You meet greet, I like you, you like me so lets move in together and have children.

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Good morning, Good morning.

Sexting is all about mental agility. One must get themselves aroused by words on their phone and their own mental stimulation. Sexing w/o touch, w/o eye contact, w/o stroking of each other’s skin is not for me.. You can send a msg saying what may take place later in the day to get my juices flowing, but to have a sexual connection through written word is too much work. IMO.

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Weekend was awesome on this end. Good Morning Single. How were the weekends on y’alls end?

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Weekend was wonderful, now ready for a great week

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Comon that’s a big part of a problem, you’re being nice saying a year, there are some that think 2 to 3 months is a long time, and they need to try and work things out

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Y’all are s correct about instant gratification. It will come to people having relationships like a speed date. In my era it was wam bam thank you mam, but it still took a while before you got to the bam.

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good morning all. I don’t text at all so it’s a definite non-issue for me.

CC – I saw a children’s theatre production of the wiz over the weekend. I was almost feeling guilty about how much I enjoyed the show. those kids killed it!!! the little boy who played the tin man showed out. even tossed in a little Kevin hart when talking about the wicked witch. said “she gone learn today”.

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Ladies,

I am very appreciative of any “taboo” photos you send me of yourself, as is My “Little Buddy.”

However, I will stop respecting you as a human being and potential mother of my children when you I receive it.

If you show your goods to me, I suspect you will show them to anyone and everyone (if you haven’t already).

FYI: I would expect no less than you losing respect for me in return if I sent you a photo of me “standing at attention” or bouncing back and forth from knee to knee.

I’m just being honest here, not necessarily P.C. for the liberal-media-driven 21st Century which wants everyone to think this is okay or “normal.”

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Glad to hear it, BF.

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I take PGs post to read – if you must send sext messages be sure to buy a prepaid phone at your neighborhood convenience store. lol.

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disco you mentioned the Oz, I saw a preview at the movies about a new Oz movie coming out this fall. It it a pre-qual to the original aimed at adults on how the wizard went to the city of Oz and got established, looks good might be another classic.

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CC – I had to google Lindsay Buckingham. glad you guys had a good time.

BF – don’t call me out but you couldn’t pay me to watch the wizard of oz on tv or live on stage. lol. I’ll watch the wiz though. I don’t really care for the overall story line but I love the song and dance routines.

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There’ a new Oz movie coming this fall to theaters, saw previews of at the movies. It’s a pre-qual to the orignal showing how the wizard got to the city of Oz. It looks good might be another classic.

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I alread said that didn’t I, The Wiz was the absolute best. Common I heard of Wicked but never seen it I’ll have to check that one out.

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Morning,

Sexting is not smart. IMO, it’s another one of those reckless freedoms that this ill-informed generation seem to think is the thing to do, not knowing they’ll likely regret. I like the old way (I’m probably one in few remaining) of what it takes for getting in to see the sexy.

And on this:
I would expect no less than you losing respect for me in return if I sent you a photo of me “standing at attention” or bouncing back and forth from knee to knee.

Bouncing knee to knee?? Wowzer!!! That’s about as bad as hitting the waters when you pee (hey Fion). I’m sure that’s an exaggeration..lol If it’s knee to knee hanging, that would mean it’s reaching the mouth if it’s at attention.

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I had to google Lindsay Buckingham

That made me LOL this morning, disco. I am a huge Fleetwood Mac fan. (I almost names my daughter after a FM song) so I was very excited to go see Lindsey since a FM reunion seems like it will never happen. And I had never been to Center Stage before. I liked it; very intimate venue…

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Hey Cely how are you Ms. Lady.

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Blackfoote – Hey there, my BBB…I’m well this morning. How are you?

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Good Morning Cely!

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Wow Kim’s dad represented OJ, learn something new everyday (LOL)

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Hey Gang!!

On topic – This is a non-issue for me & mine. You NEVER leave any kind of pictorial or written evidence, even before texting was popular. No videos or printed photos, nothing! Duh!!!

Sure, within an established relationship a sweetly suggestive text is cute. Something you would exactly be super-embarrassed about should it fall in the wrong hands.

Thing is, people have NO finese anymore. It’s a way to do anything where it won’t come off crude and offensive, but a lot of people seem oblivious to that. “Flashing” me via text makes you no better than a street flasher, in my book, but that’s me. But if you’re turned on by someone you just met flashing you via text, thus proving themselves not-so-smart, hey do you!

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Correction – something you would NOT be super-embarassed about!

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Celisea, I really didn’t know that, if it doesn’t affect me in any way, I don’t pay it any attention. I’ve never watched the show, haven’t looked at the tape.

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single/happy and celisea – if we are talking about S/H not knowing the kardashian’s father represented OJ then I didn’t know either. heck, I’m still not sure who the kardashians are!!! granted I hear their names all the time but I’ve never watched anything they’ve done. tv shows, talk shows, certainly not the sex tapes. if they didn’t have such an uncommon name they wouldn’t be on my radar at all.

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Single and Happy – Okay

disco – I believe him now, since you said it…lol I don’t find it incredible since two of you can attest to know being aware. Honey, you ain’t missing nothing. They’re are nothing but highly paid strumpets. The oldest has made a career of being a wh@re on national television. I’m sure others will beg to differ but I don’t have a grain of respect for any of that clan, especially their mom. She’s the biggest pimp in that clan. And no respect for Bruce because he’s the man of that clan that’s been deballed at least twice by the three daughters (not the twins yet) and a gazillion times by the mom/wife.

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not being aware

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One time too many. If you asked me, I’m sure you asked EVERYBODY else annnnnd probably kept all on ice.

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Celisea, did you send it

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Kimmie – I totally agreeing. Think before you leap. It’s not old fogey. It’s smart, it’s displaying class and it’s thinking outside of the moment. I don’t understand being reckless. Crass behavior and no holds barred seem to be the trendy thing to do. And really it’s all just sex and all about sex. It’s not about love, falling in love, romancing…none of that.

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I’m with the College Park firefighter on racy pics, what does it have to do with her saving lives. Having your own morale’s is one thing, but forcing them on someone else is another.

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Comon — Here’s another Lindsey Buckingham fix for you, if you need it:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/241597

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Morning, all!

@Comon: I saw FM at the Gwarena several years ago. Lindsey and Stevie made the show! That man can still rock it out. And Stevie….well, she’s timeless.

I don’t mind receiving a risque text or photo…if it’s appropriate to the situation.

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“@Comon: I saw FM at the Gwarena several years ago”

ITL — I was at that show, too. Was that you flashing your tatas 2 rows behind me?

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Here’s the key to sexting: never include your face in the picture. That way you have plausible deniability.

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Single – I could care less about anyone else’s values. But you said the key thing in that it’s always been a PROBLEM and always will be, been going on since forever. The internet and texting are just new venues for keeping the problem/evidence around forever.

You can call it forcing values or whatever. All I know is, I’m glad I can apply for any job I want, any license I want, do anything I want at this point in my life and not have to answer questions for some stupidity I got into when I was “young”! At the very least, I didn’t embarass myself & my family. Yeah I had my fun like anyone and have made mistakes, but nothing that’s derailed my life & my dreams.

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Good Morning ITL~ I am so jealous tat you and swiss made that show. I missed it. Now I may never get to see them again since they can’t seem to decide on a reunion tour or not. I did see them YEARS ago, but now I am relegated to seeing them separate.

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Celisea – Exactly, a little racy between grown & booed up is a-okay with me. Something that could potentially fall in the wrong hands or folks trying to “pay back” cause they are mad is NOT OKAY!!

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Kimmie, if a job, or license call for getting into my personal life, beyond a criminal record. It’s none of their business. My personal life is just that, my life! I don’t worry about embarrassing any one, live it for me and me only. If someone is embarrassed by something I do, then it’s their problem not mine.

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Single – Who is stopping anyone from living their lives?

There are just going to be some consequences, good or bad, for some of the things you decide to do, even in private. Especially when what’s supposed to be private goes public. That’s life. People are sometimes not prepared to deal with the consequences of their actions, so they need to think before they leap. Don’t play if you can’t pay!LOL!!

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@Swiss: Guilty. I kid, I kid…..

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Comon is it really the bible belt, or is it the media driving society where everyone feels a need to be in everyone else’s business? I’ve noticed that when ever you try and defend your actions people have a field day, but when you ignore it, they move on to the next story.

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Single – Honey do you. Personally, I’m not going on tv being another Kardashian cause like it or not, my grandmama, hubs & kids might see that. I recognize I’m not in this world alone, even though both parents are deceased. I respect myself and those I love too much.

And there are too many employers checking Facebook & Google & whatever. They won’t find anything on me.

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s/n: I wanna go home. People are on my nerves today, but it’s not them – it’s me. I need a vacation.

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Cely I’m back in the office now doing well.

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Blackfoote –

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ITL~ Hold on; football is coming… That’s all the vacation I need. And even though it’s pre-season, it’s kind of like Skin-a-max porn; after 8 months without it, it gets the job done.

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Kimmie I’m the person that you never walk up to ask about another, cause most don’t like my answer,

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Single – But I do what I want to do! I just don’t want to do what you obviously want to do and defend. I’m extremely happy. I love the values I was taught and live by. They serve me well. They protect me, but at the same time, they allow me to go for what I want. I’m not stifled in any way, nor am I living for anyone else.

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oops. there you are kimmie. I wasn’t putting words in your mouth just thought his comment needed to be addressed

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In the end, I think it is a matter of what you want to be known for. I think I am an excellent legal mind. I don’t want to be judged on my personal life when I stand in a courtroom. Therefore, I make sure that my private life stays exactly that- private. I think that this “do whatever I want” mentality is fine, but be fully prepared to accept the consequences of what you choose to do.

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There are alot of things that people have gotten fired for that would not have never been noticed if it wasn’t for some vindictive person. I only put my life story out to a select few people, you may get a little bit here and there, but never enough to know the whole story. I too think it’s crazy to put all your information on ANY social media, but to each their own.

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Blah. I’m going to lunch. Maybe I’ll be in a better mood when I get back.

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Single~ you are correct, but the implication was that when I go to my job (the courtroom) I don’t want the people I work with (judges, other court staff & other lawyers) look at me thinking about what I do in my private life. I would prefer to stay on the business at hand. And trust, as a lawyer, I can tell you every freak that works in the courthouse of any jurisdiction I work in because EVERYONE talks.

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people stay in bad situations whether it be relationships, jobs, church groups, because they are worried what others will say if they walk away.

Single – This is what I was talking about when I say I live my life the way I want to and how I was taught! Your above statement is SO NOT ME AT ALL!!! In fact, it’s laughable! That was one of the things my mom was careful about in raising us. If you’re doing what’s right and what’s right for you – F— what everyone else will say!!

My mom repeatedly told me if I got halway down the aisle and decided I didn’t want to go thru with the wedding to turn right around and walk out and she & dad would support me and forget about how much money was spent and what folks might say!!

You will go crazy worrying about pleasing others. But that doesn’t mean you live in total abandon and without consideration of the consequences either.

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comon that’s everywhere you work people love to put their business out there, then get mad because everyone knows (LOL)

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Hey there Light.

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Single and Happy – You can hit me up only because sometimes I think blog interaction, even if in jest, becomes a bit much and too much exposure. Just know, I’m not hooking up, no affairs, no blog boo…NONE OF THAT I’m serious.

I have a question for you anyway.

beacea95@yahoo.com

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Celisea, I talking about Scuba, didn’t need to add any of that other stuff. there is more to life.

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I’m on both sides of the fence in y’alls arguments. My mantra is living my life and not worrying about what other think. When it comes to being polictically correct on places such as this board and other media spots, I’m not going with the crowd if that’s not what I think, as I live my life for me. If it’s mistakes I’ve made in the past and things maybe I have to overcome, I don’t care what you think or what you heard or what you found out. It takes NOTHING away from my person and it’s neither here nor there.

As it relates to making decisions that will haunt me, then no I’m going to tread carefully. I need my job therefore, I won’t commit something heinous that could potentially be expose or explode or backfire. I’m not going to do something (intentional) that’s going to be on a background check…so forth and so on.

I think you can live your life above what others think but I think there’s a fine line in abiding and going with what’s allowed and do-able. Bucking because you’re grown is stupid, when the backlash of that will be to your detriment.

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Single and Happy – That’s even better then Can’t have too many friends. As long as we’re on the same page in that regard. Hit me up.

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Something like not wearing white after Labor Day (which I don’t) because everyone takes that path is stupid. You want to wear white, wear white and forget the sniggles and stares.

Something along this example is what I mean but not caring what others think. Robbing a bank and not caring if that’s on my record…NO CAN DO. Yeah, when it’s time to get a job, I should care how it looks.

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Kimmie you know some of just like to debate (LOL)

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Single and Happy – Wasn’t trying to be offensive or anything but for some reason I seem to be the target of either someone’s affection or for being destroyed…lol Yeah, someone playing a cruel joke…lolol I just wanted to keep it straight. Not that I’m saying you thought otherwise…just saying though. I communicate with others offline and we keep it cool and straight. No hanky panky

Don’t be offended boo

Kimmie – I didn’t catch the actual reading of the letter but I caught Steve’s commentary. That was unbelievable. I wondered if that one was a hoax. Who in their right mind wants to be coupled with a muderer, bank robber, drug dealer (I think I heard that out)…pretty much an all out hard thug.

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Dear Steve and Shirley, I’ll start this letter off right and throw everything on the table so hopefully Steve won’t chew me up into shreds! I hate to toot my own horn but hey I’m a 23 year old woman who has done very good for herself, if you ask me. I don’t have any babies running behind me, of course I’m enough of a lady to save my little leagues for marriage. I have my own home, my own car, and a great job that I’ve been working for more than five years! But the reason for this letter is because I’ve always been dealt TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE cards when it comes to men. I had a ROUGH and UGLY childhood. I even saw and experienced some things that I still get alone by myself and cry about. I had ABSOLUTELY NO father figure in my life so I looked for that manly figure in my MEN. So about a year and a half ago I met this guy and he had it going on. He had the thug appeal, the job(s), his own car and a conversation out this world. After about 6 months to a year I came over to his house for a late night movie and that was all she wrote. To say the least we had pillow talk several times after that and he began to open up to me. He confessed to being a drug dealer, doing several robberies, countless home break-ins, and taking peoples lives that he felt deserved it. And he even told me that a few times he made breaking news for public shoot-out’s he had with his past rivals. Yes, I admit it frightened me a little at first. So I asked him had he done the right thing and confessed to the police and he blew me off saying that I was asking too many questions and being too nosy! But the more I got to know him I was able to look past his wrong doings and see that he has a good heart. Over the course of me being his boo I grew an enormous bulk of feelings for him. But recently we got into a huge argument and we split up. Well, at least that’s what I’ll say even though he NEVER confirmed us as being in a serious relationship, and it broke my heart. I can’t stop thinking about him and that sexy thug appeal. For almost a month I’ve been wondering if I let my knight and shining armour get away from me. YES, YES STEVE AND SHIRLEY I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR but, despite his past I still think he’ll make a good husband for me someday! But my real question is, should I run after my murderer/drug dealing ex and make things right before it’s too late or should I just leave our broken pieces on the floor, pick up my heart, dust it off and move on? Signed, THE YOUNG & CONFUSED MURDERER LOVER

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disco~ I’m not THAT personal at work; I have pics of my kids & hubby on my desk. (I have to remind myself why I work all of the hours I work… LOL!) But I don’t think anyone at work could tell you how old my children are, what area of town I live in, etc.

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Kimmie WHAT THE HE**

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“He has a good heart”, “will make a good husband”. but he’s a drug dealer, and a murder, and doesn’t mind taking the life of someone else because he felt they deserved it??

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kimmie/disco ~ while you guys were listening to those stations, I was listening to The Bert Show where another woman wanted closure. She can hear everything the guy is saying, but can’t respond. He finally comes out and says he ended the engagement because he hoped to have children one day and he deemed her to have poor parenting skills. He watched her interaction with her two kids and didn’t like the way she handled conflict. WOW, talking about honesty. Then I had to get out the car.

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I wonder if she sexted him? If so, her sh!t is about to be all over the internet.. LOL!

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Leggs: That’s what I was listening to this morning too. I swear to God the chick that called was a past client. And if it’s who I think it was, she really did have piss poor parenting skills.

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[...] number of unprotected sex partners in the past 30 days. No relationship between sexting and …Sexting: Is everyone doing it?Atlanta Journal Constitution [...]

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The letter may be a fake, but the problem is that there really people out there like that, and people who think they can change them.

There are definitely people out there like that. That murderer from Aurora, CO has a fan page on FB and they say he is receiving mail daily. Richard Ramirez (the night stalker) actually married on of his groupies. So, yeah, there is definitely a segment of the world that is not quite right in the head…

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Leggs/CC – I heard that on the Bert Show too – I was 2 for 2 this morning in the car!!LOL!!

Leggs – To be honest, that was a dealbreaker with my now hubs. If he had some bratty kids I saw he was not half-raising, I would have cut things short!! Plus, folks are very funny about their kids. I had plenty tell me I didn’t know what I was talking about since I didn’t have any. Fine, but I don’t have to deal with your little brats either! Don’t nobody think they are cute but you!!

Maybe that will wake that chick up though!

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To clarify, offended along with her, not offended at her. I think though when someone breaks it off and can’t be man or woman enough to say why, just let it go. It will save you, IMO, even more heartbreak.

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celisea – my mother’s version was “where you show you’re a-s-s is where I whoop you’re a-s-s”

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Celisea ~ I’m with you on not having trouble with mine too. Not one temper tantrum, no falling on the floor kicking, screaming, whatever kids do. I wasn’t having it and she knew EARLY ON that I wasn’t having any of that nonsense. I almost had one incident when checking out with all that candy around her. I had already said no, and she started whimpering. She looked like she was about to start hoping from foot to foot when I stooped down and looked her in the eye and said, you can make a scene here and I will make a scene with you in the bathroom…take your pick!

kimmie ~ did you hear any feedback from the woman re: child rearing?

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With my mom if you showed out in public, you got it in public, and when you got home you got it again. My mom didn’t whop us, she would pinch the heck out of us, then our dad would beat us when we got home (LOL)

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I’m sorry I know I am a dumb hick but, what the hell is sexting???

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Oh man that girl 23 years old is living right out of a thug video she seen on tv. That’s what I see happening everyday, young folks want to be the thuggist there is. They are unemployable then they the are angry at society because no one will hire them with tatoos all over their body. So what do they do they steal and rob and murder people and say he deserves it, and cower like the coward they when the law chases them down.

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kimmie – re different parenting styles. seems like I recently mentioned on here that I’m constantly telling folks to put their grown A kids out. I don’t understand why some parents don’t consider that an option. guess they’d rather complain and be stressed out all the time. to each his own.

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My mom had to consatntly stay on my butt, because she told me I’m not raising any criminals. I had the tendecies to become one but her and grandma in unison made it perfectly clear they weren’t having it. Like I said last week a boy, young man, and man have phases in life we go through and when we reach a cross road a decision you must make. Today everything is scrap on the floor.

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Single and Happy – I agree.

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single and happy / kimmie –I actually started telling my son when he was in kindergarten that when he turned 18 he was getting out of my house. I was never the parent talking about “as long as I have a place to stay, you have a place to stay”. bump that. as it worked out, my son left home at 18 and hasn’t returned except to visit.

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Celisea – I actually was thinking that too. Oh, and if you recall, they told him up front she would be listening. But I got the same feeling you did, that he just wanted out.

If not, those kids must be real brats! I can see that side better now, because I know of some really nice men now that wish they had thought twice before marrying the women they did with bratty kids, alot of them grown and still around the house reaking havok. The men are miserable. One comes over to hang out with us from time to time to get away from his adult stepkids. Can’t even enjoy being in his own home anymore.

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Disco, If these people weren’t being stressed and complaining about their grown children, it wouldn’t be a problem, You can do bad by yourself, and if you look at most, not only is it the children, then bring others with them.

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Kimmie – No, I missed that piece. So he knew she would be listening? Oh yeah, buddy just said any ole thing. I guess I don’t understand women sometimes, even though I’m one. If you break it off, I can’t like and act like I wouldn’t try and understand what your issues are. I’m not though, taking it on the air. If you can’t be open and just tell me or you hand me some recognizable BS, then it’s a wrap….just the way you want it.

Single and Happy – Would you date just to be dating? For you, when do you date just to be dating versus dating for something solid or serious? Is it like a mood or a place you’re in and you just want to kick back and have fun…nothing too deep?

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Celisea – And if that incident went like he said, I bet he was embarassed. The thing is, his story was not QUITE adding up. On one hand, he said the kids were brats and he thought she was a poor parent. But then on the other hand, he said he would want the mother of his kids to be more patient and loving with kids. If their brats and having temper tantrums in public, the time for “patient and loving” is OVER!!!

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Kimmie why did he feel the need to even get on the radio and explain himself? that’s the crazy part to me.

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Single and Happy – Um, okay. I forgot you mentioned before that you like your life as is…lol Why would you be looking for anything other than dating just to be dating. Silly me…lol

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Celisea, I’m very open to the idea of spending my life with someone, IE: “lets get married today” but just not at the top of my list.

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That woman’s feelings were deeply hurt. When it comes to parenting, criticism from another isn’t an easy pill to swallow, esp. one who is childless.

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Kimmie, yea I worded that wrong, I just don’t believe in this closure thing, most of the time if people don’t get the response they want, there is no closure. Looking at the news i’ve heard people say they didn’t get any closure because a COLD BLOODIED killer didn’t show any remorse, I’m sitting there thinking umm folks he’s a COLD BLOODIED killer, what did you expect?

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Leggs – Like I said, either it was a real horror show or dude just wanted out.

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Single – Yep!

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C~ But you definitely have met the person who needs to be more on top of their kids and isn’t. If you don’t want criticism then you have to tow the line. Don’t just have some bad a$$ kids and get upset or hurt when someone else says something negative about your parenting.

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Leggs, if the sex is good, I can put up with bad parenting, heck they aint my kids, and I aint going to marry you (LOL) Just don’t bring those brats to my house (LOL)

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Somewhat understand, Single. They were engaged, so marriage was on the table.

And your post alludes to the fact that you guys have a sexual relationship, not a romantic one (lol).

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Comon Cents – Frankly, I stay in my own lane. I don’t take crap off my kid. When she’s grown and gone, hopefully I’ve instilled enough down in her. If not, it’s on her. I see other folks’ kids but really what can you do? I will say this, I’m not tolerating from someone I’m dating. Good thing though, at my age I don’t see too many toddlers.

Kimmie – See, that right there is why I don’t want to deal with young kids. Not that I don’t love babies or kids but everybody’s idea on parenting could vastly differ. Shoot, if y’all marry that’s some mess to have to deal with. Get it together before the nuptials or leave it alone. Money and other folks’ kids are two things that can make or break. And if I can’t say something to your kids (in a relationship), then I’m not buying for your kids. If I’m going to love them, then it should be understood that it’s coming full circle.

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Blackfoote, yes they did, and by making us have to think for ourselves as kids, it gave us the common sense to know right from wrong.

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Leggs, i didn’t hear the show because I don’t listen to the radio anymore, but these days fiance and being engaged really doesn’t mean what it used to mean.

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Comon Cents, swore I’d never tell my kids “cause I said so” ate that one up real quick (rotflmao)

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Mine was “And if a frog has a glass bottom he’d break it when he jumped too!”

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Single~ Right? And my kids look at me te same way. Like “WTH is she talking about?!?”

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That’s funny too I would have that k-9 look with my head turned to the side wondering what the heck is she talking about.

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I can honestly say I don’t recall ever saying “because I told you so,” but I’ve recently said “if you should have a baby, I hope it’s a girl so you can better understand things from my end.”

Single ~ I agree that our parents left us alone to figure things out. A sense of entitlement didn’t exist. We worked hard and studied even harder.

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these days fiance and being engaged really doesn’t mean what it used to mean.

Single – No, it still means the same thing, folks just want to make light of it.

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kimmie~ I think that now a days people go into marriage with the idea that if they’re not happy they can get divorced. Back in the day, that wasn’t even an option.

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BF~ I saw that story too. My premise is- if you don’t like the view, change the scenery. I went back to collee and grad school as an adult. For some reason, when my parents were willing to pay for scool, I wasn’t interested in doing the work. However, after getting out in the real world and finding out that no matter how smart I was, no one was going to give me a chance without a degree, I sucked it up and paid my way through school so I could take care of me and mine. It takes great sacrifice, but it can be done.

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looks like we are still on bad A kids. that’s one thing I was never accused of having. if anything I heard that I was too rough on him or that he was too “grown” but my son was never a discipline problem.

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Comon – I agree, but I also look at that as not necessarily being a bad thing. While I do think people are less likely to try to work things out in a marriage, as in all thing in our instant society, I also think all was not what it was cracked up to be back then either. There was such a stigma to divorce that a lot of people stayed in bad situations because of it. Especially women. They put up with a lot, and the men knew they were not going anywhere.

I’m of a different mindset. Happiness is paramount with me. I believe in doing the work upfront = choosing wisely and really getting to know the person I’m going to be dealing with. No guarantees, but I’m minimizing the damage. I’m in it for the long haul, but I’m not sticking around for crap either. I do my part – I don’t want a divorce so I don’t do the things in my power that will lead to one, like messing around, excessive irresponsible money habits, poor hygiene habits, you get the picture!

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Single – All I know is when dude asked me to marry him and gave me a ring, we were engaged. Wedding plans commenced. Same with everyone else I know. No matter if you’re shacking or got kids or not. Just talking about it doesn’t make you engaged. If he proposed, you should have a ring and plans made. Even if you don’t agree in giving a ring, like Exiled. An engagement is an agreement to marry. Just because you are shacking or somebody’s baby mama or daddy doesn’t mean you’ve agreed to marry.

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Amen, kimmie! Or I love the people wo are engaged to be engaged. I’m like WTF?!? Where they do that at? I’m with you. I don’t even need a wedding; we can go to the JOP. As long as it’s legal. I don’t understand people who live together and have babies and everything else then wonder why it doesn’t work out.

I actually knew a couple that shacked for 12 years. They had 5 kids together. They got married and were divorced in less than 3 years. What?!?

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Single – When parents say that, most want the kids to go the easier path. For example, finish college first and maybe take a trip abroad before you have 3 kids you have to struggle to support while you take college classes at night.

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Leggs those were the days when we had hot fun in the summer time.

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@Leggs: A coworker and I were discussing that this morning – the differences between when we were growing up and kids growing up now. We had to laugh, too, because she was saying that she doesn’t allow her kids to eat certain candies for fear of them choking. But when we were little? Shoot, you’d have a fireball in your cheek, standing up in the front seat of the car while your mom drove to the store.

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and your “seatbelt” was your mom or dad throwing their arm across you if they had to slam on the brakes.

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Now all they want to do is shoot, maime, and kill innocent bystanders and run.

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@C: Shhhhh, don’t say candy. I’m craving something sweet.

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Leggs – One thing mom used to preach to us is that there are no shortcuts. I didn’t quite understand then but of course I do now. Most want the end result without paying their dues or working for it. Even if you get a scholarship, nobody is going to go to class for you or study. You still have to earn the degree. Most don’t want to take the time and effort to do that, but expect to waltz in and command the salary. Don’t have the degree or even some of the experience, but want the perks.

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ITL – Girrrrl…mmm mmm mmm CANDY!!!

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comon most of the time people that live together a long time don’t stay married long. IMO it’s because they expect things to change once they get married, start living like newlyweds when their already an old married couple!

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@Leggs: Yep. And you’re right about being “bored”…. if you said that, my parents would find something for you to do. But then again, we loved being outside so much, we wouldn’t come home until dark. After dark in the summertime, because we would play hide and seek after the sun went down.

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Single – You are right, now that I think about it. They want to hand their kids everything. And you are right about the college thing, but you said one key thing in describing yourself – your are SKILLED. No, college is not for all, but there is also no place anymore for someone with no skills, not in this world. You gotta be TRAINED in something.

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Here’s an interesting article on marriage. I really agree with the first one
http://www.parade.com/news/views/guest/7022-marriage-owners-manual.html

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kimmie/Single~ while college is not for everyone, these days having an undergrad degree is what having a high school diploma was 20 years ago. I know people who have Bachelor’s that are working retail or fast food because they can’t find a job. Skilled laborers are staying in their positions longer so there are no opportunities for advancement for the new workers coming in. They had better get something on the ball or they will end up unable to support themselves.

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CC – we used to hop trains too. first train story, one of my cousins hopped a train and that bad boy sped up and he was afraid to jump off. he ended up getting off almost 100 miles away and his mom had to drive to go pick him up. another train story. I was in elementary school and we were instructed to stay off the tracks. one day a group of us, walking home from school decided to not only walk the tracks but to cross the overpass. as we are prancing over the overpass a car is coming down the street. just so happens it was my mom and two of her sisters (those cousins were with me). needless to say I think they drew blood when we got our butts whooped.

CC again – you haven’t met bluz yet have you?

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@Celisea: I was thinking Piece of Cake cupcake with salted caramel icing. Mmmmmm……

@Comon: I know! We were talking about that kind of stuff, too! How we’d go off down in the woods and slide down these big rocks into the pool below. Couldn’t tell us nothin’!

@BF: Yep. And she was saying how her mom would leave her in the car while she went in the store (windows rolled down, of course).

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comon even with that, some don’t have the ability to even get a BS degree, but meanwhile, america is sending all it’s unskilled jobs to other countries

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disco~ No I haven’t. But after being here a few days, I felt alright just jumping in. LOL! I didn’t cross the boundary, did I?

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Leggs…you can probably guess what I did! I enjoyed it at the time, but just feel weird about it because he is just a friend and I’m not breaking the mold that I’ve talked about that needed breaking…

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Disco you wrong for this “CC again – you haven’t met bluz yet have you?” (rotflmao)

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I can see myself liking him, but he reminds me a lot of my ex…only, much nicer and more ambition…He’s not really someone that I should get into a relationship with.

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ITL now stabbing her eyes out with a plastic fork…..

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ITL – I’m sooo disappointed. What’s wrong boo boo..my twin twink?

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At least I know I am not the only one with a dysfunctional (but happy) childhood behind me! LOL! I have done all the things y’all are talking about.

Bluz~ Don’t know you, but it sounds as if you date the same guy over and over again with slight variances. Maybe you should look at what it is about you that attracts this particular type of guy and vice versa.

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@Twink: I’m just trying to stay “on the wagon” where sugar is concerned. I’ve been hearing too many horror stories lately, and ITL’s not getting any younger.

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Bluz ~ we all know what you did! Again, if you didn’t regret it while you were doing, don’t regret it now. Own it and move on. However, if you need a therapist to figure our why you’re sexing all willy nilly, you have bigger issues. Clamp on a chastity belt and work on you.

Oh boy on not breaking the mold. That’s because you’re hanging around the same type of people. If you want something different, change the darn scenery!

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Comon – Trust me…I’m trying to figure it all out. Darn musicians! LOL

I’ve debated all day whether or not to tell the blog about this. It’s just so weird to have such mixed emotions about something that was VERY enjoyable.

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Ut oh, what did Bluzy go and do? Do I need to go back? I’m only skimming today

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Single – Not just unskilled work is being sent overseas now. A person should not aspire to have an unskilled job anyway, even is outsourcing wasn’t going on. Not accusing you at all Single, but alot of folks have chips on their shoulders when you start talking about college and start spouting about how college isn’t for everyone and how they know people who make more money than folks who went to college, yada yada. Bottom line, you are going to have a nearly impossible time out here with no degree and no training of any kind. Those who didn’t go to college and are doing well know how to do SOMETHING – type, fix cars, plumbing, HVAC, electrical work, construction, cooking, etc.

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AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Bluz: If the blog were a Peanuts cartoon, your relationships would be Lucy with the football and you’d be Charlie Brown. smh….

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It’s not so much that I regret it…I just don’t want it to be weird between us. I have to keep myself in check and just have him as a friend. Maybe a friend with benefits!

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ITL…I know…

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Bluz~ “Darn Musicians” tells me a lot. Maybe you want to take care of someone. Sadly, when I meet someone and they tell me they are an “artist” I hear unemployed unless they are someone whose work I have actually heard of. I’m like “No, really, what’s your real job? You know, the one that pays you?”

Also, musicians tend to have a very hard time being faithful. So, on breaking the mold, if you are tired of getting what you have always gotten you will have to do something you have never done. As my dad used to say “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing (or person in this case) over and over and expecting a different result.

Single~ I feel the same way. Mine know, I’m saving college money; not bail money. Anything other than that and my retirement will be a little nicer on you. And at 18, you ain’t got to go to college, but you can’t stay here.

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Bluz – Girl, if it was VERY – whatcha worrying about? You grown & single, and hopefully so was he. If neither of you are married or boo’d up, what’s the problem?

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Bluz, you know dang well you can’t handle FWB so why put yourself in that situation?

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Thanks, kimmie! These kids are quite hilarious. There mistake is thinking we parents are dumb!

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I hate to go here – bluz you know I got mad blog love for you – but bluz is our blog gazelle. we are working on blessing her with strength, courage and wisdom and perhaps one day there will be a transformation. what’s the upgrade from gazelle?

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Cel…I know. I feel like I have gained more respect for myself over the past 6 months or so. Maybe that’s why I’m second guessing myself for doing this.

Kimmie…both of us are single.

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Disco we used real money, pitching pennies, playing cards, we were some bad ass kids (LOL)

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@Bluz: Okay, I was kidding about the carcass thing, but seriously, I can’t figure you out.

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Celisea the problem is someone does get hurt, she does, so she shouldn’t do it.

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single and happy – we were in grade school. we didn’t have real money and it’s a good ting too because I know the older kids would have robbed us blind doesn’t matter that we were related. and as for bad A kids, how come we used to practice rolling joints with crushed up leaves. (not that I’m trying to top you at being bad).

ITL – wrong but funny. certainly not the response I was looking for though.

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Bluz, Bluz, Bluz…. If you think that where you are now is beyond a casual encounter, then just chalk it up to needing your oil changed and keep it moving….. But you will make yourself (and possibly me and others) crazy if you keep mind-f#cking everything to death.

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kimmie…he is a really nice, good guy and a good friend. He’s just a lot like my ex in the fact that he’s a musician, he’s self-employed (which is better than the ex), he recently had to move back home. I don’t know…I can see myself liking him as more than just a friend, but he’s not the kind of guy I should end up with. I can see us maybe dating, having fun and hanging out…but, nothing serious. At least, I don’t think so. It’s a little confusing…

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Disco, it was our lunch and candy money, and some time the big kids did come through and take it (LOL)

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Bluz – Comon is right about the instability of musicians, as you probably already know. I do know some upstanding men though, where the music is a side thing. My next-door neighbor and his wife have “regular” jobs, but he has a little jazz band he plays saz in on the side and she sings with them from time to time. Their daughter now sings and plays the piano and they are active in the church music ministry. In other words, if music is a love of yours, there is no reason you have to exclude it or men that are into it from your life.

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Self employed, had to move back home? what the heck is that. how is that an option??

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CC again – looks like you have now officially met bluz.- Hilarious.

” I wish I had a bit of that “let loose” in me…” girl, girl, girl. I could easily be slut. I ain’t, I is just a saying (lol).

An upgrade from gazelle is a carcass???? I must have missed something somewhere.

WillieD ~ mine will be out the house in 19 days (yeah I’m counting) and she’s only 17.

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Where the deuce is Dreams? I need a shot of tequila. Maybe two.

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comon (rotflmao) I was looking for that story

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Sax, not saz!!LOL!!

Bluz – Okay, then just keep as a good friend. As for dating with nothing serious, no can do. You’re either in or out – you know yourself! I personally could never do that “nothing serious” stuff, cause I know me, I catch feelings once me and a guy “go there”. You strike me as the same type and there is nothing wrong with that. To thine self be true.

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LOL @ ITL

Bluz~ And there it is “self-employed and had to move back home” WHAT?!? How old is this dude? Moving home is not an option. If music is not paying the bills then you had better get a real job and support yourself until music WILL pay the bills if you’re that good. Otherwise, deuces! You’ll end up supporting this loser because “he’s a nice guy”. (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little when I said that)

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I keep trying to tell myself to just get over it…chalk it up…I enjoyed it tremendously. I don’t know why I’m over thinking it so much!!! Maybe that’s where the therapy comes in…making me question my actions.

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@disco: I’m adding a disclaimer to my moniker. “ITL is in a pissy mood today. Nothing she says or insinuates should be taken as gospel. If it is taken as gospel, ITL, nor her estate nor any of its representatives shall be held responsible for any damages incurred including but not limited to emotional, mental, or physical.”

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Comon…I’m not even going to say his age…let’s just say he’s old enough to not be living back at home. Although, he is taking care of his parents. He is a handyman and independent contractor. He does bring the money in, but had a rough winter and ended up losing his place. That’s part of why I hesitate also. My ex was living with his mother when we got together and he ended up using me for a place to live…CANNOT do that again.

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Bluz always breaks up the monotony.

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ITL — Did I hear body shots?

Hey, where’s Slim? I swear I saw her doppelganger this weekend. Thought it was her at first, but then I checked the CT. Could definitely be her stunt double, though.

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At least get screwed by someone more than a bottomfeeder. Shoot ain’t nothing extra in it if you going for the low hanging fruit.

Ladies, we need to teach her what it means to AIM HIGH

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Bluz ~ two consenting ADULTS made beautiful music between the sheets. Ok, you had an a sexual excursion. Own it, smile about it go about your business. Bear with me WillieD/swiss, but if you don’t mind me asking, Bluz, what part of the swaying of the hips has left you feeling guilty?

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(ITL now on the bar singing)

Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine…
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime…
Everytime we get together I sure have a good time…
You’re my friend, you’re the best, mi amiiiiiiiigggoooooo……

@Swiss: Your turn, but for the love of all that’s holy would you please shave? I think I got a hairball after that last shot.

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Yes…Dr. Brit is a done deal. I never replied to his text about him being too flirty and I have moved on. I was only sad for about a minute about him!!!

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How did your mother take the fact that you and Brit didn’t get off the ground?

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Leggs – Yep, I been doing that with the cherries!! They think they are slick though, they have alot of folks fooled with those 4 pound bags at 5.99 a pound!

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At reg price, I usually do about a third…did that Saturday. I can’t eat too many either, unless I have a tummyache.

Now if they’re going for the low low, I do a whole pound

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How many cherries are too many to eat in one sitting????

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kimmie – re they all take care of their parents. you know the line “I don’t live with my momma, my momma lives with me”. lol.

the dating world needs women like bluz to thin out the population of no goods for the rest of us. they can take care of all the men they want as that keeps those same men from grinning up in my face. bluz – you got to pick a team girl.

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“How many cherries are too many to eat in one sitting????”

Well that depends on the cherries. And who they’re attached to.

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Always have to taste the grapes/cherries before buying them.

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Well, what have we learned today?

Single is actually Congressman Wiener.

Bluz got f__ked real good.

ITL likes to swallow the worm when doing body shots.

Leggs finally learned how to bust cherries.

Did I miss anything?

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“I think I feel guilty because I wanted to do the “right” thing and not sleep with him. But…I can say that I’ve kind of wanted to for a while” Naw, you didn’t want to do the right thing. Your mind may have told you that for a split second, but it was too powerful for you wanting him for quite some time to actually “do the right thing” with likka involved…no way and you knew it!

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When I looked up “nutritional” information on cherries….after getting a tummy ache, the recommendation was about a cup a day. That’s about 20 or so cherries. I would say 25 at the most.

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You guys are football fanatics. Did you guys hear about this?

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/o-murdock-tennessee-titans-wide-receiver-commits-suicide-car-tampa-high-school-police-article-1.1124975

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@Swiss: Glad to hear it re: the manscaping. BTW, we’re giving out bonus shots for the most creative way to hold the lime…….

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O/T~ ITL ~ Did you see that one of our offensive linemen decided it would be a good idea to tweet the playbook?!? SMDH… I thought we were smarter than that.

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Vandy is one of my clients

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@Comon: I did not see that. smh….

@Swiss: No, those are the standard number of reps I do everyday. But the table tennis paddle and the net are new…..

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Bluzy – What are you going to do when there’s no call? You can’t tell me you haven’t been checking your phone…lol

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I feel like after 1:00 I’ve been in the twilight zone. I’ve not kept up with too many stories…except Bluzy. Even to that I saw one and figured out the rest…lol

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“Who is he that is so special you didn’t feel yourself ready or worthy for?

Stop making these dudes more special in your mind than what their actions proved.”

She only do this when she sees value in herself. I don’t sense she sees that.

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Cel…we’ve already texted a few times (him first), so it’s all good.

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ITL now running head first into a concrete wall. Falling down. Getting up. Repeating.

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Bluz – Be real girl, if Doc had been ready and pulled out the all court press, you would have MADE yourself ready!!

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Cel…we’ve already texted a few times (him first), so it’s all good.

Hate to say this, but it’s all good NOW – because he thinks that he will get to tap that A again. Where it will get ugly is when either a) you want more than just sex or b) he has tapped it enough and he drops you like a hot pile of sh!t. Just my opinion from people I know who have gone through this before…

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I am chewing on ice.

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And the award for most observant newcomer on a blog goes to…..(envelope please)….. Comon Cents!!!

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Comon – Yep, I agree. The hard truth

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ITL ~ welll, ummm, she’s a lawyer…(lol).

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Soooo, pretty much, you’re digging him. Not so much of it was a really good friendship that took the wrong turn (or right turn for some)?

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Okay, now yall got me laughing!

Can’t take it no mo, I’m out!

Be easy!!

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Comon…you may be right. Only time will tell how this will play out. I hope for the best and that we remain good friends.

Trying to remain friends after a relationship is over (or whatever you want to call this) is like saying “The dog died, but we can still keep it!” Not a good idea. If you wanted to remain friends, it would have been better to not hit the sheets with him.

Don’t get me wrong; I LOVE sex. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it and I have it as often as I possibly can, however, in your case, I would suggest a nice trip to Inserection until you can get this whole “I just needed a slump buster” thing under control. I personally recomment the Jackrabbit. My name is Comon, and I approve this messae. LOL!

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Off to my session. Thanks for letting me talk this out some…

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Bluzy – It’s okay to dig folks, have crush on folks, whatever. What’s not smart is to do something ahead of thinking. You should stop long enough to figure out if a person is right for you ahead of having sex. To say you know he’s not right for you…now means or serves what purpose? You’re stressing it because we are women and the greater majority cannot engage without feelings and emotions becoming involved. So, you do it, it plays on your physche to boot the throwback is not all hugs, bugs in a rug but rather a even more slowed pace than what you wished. I don’t have to be a participant or have gone down that path to tell you exactly how it’s playing in your head and how you’re hoping. That’s why some of us, Bluzy, don’t or can’t. We know the havoc it going to wreak…so we don’t mess with those kinds of shenanigans. Not that we haven’t made mistakes. But really you only need one to learn.

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Church!

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“No, those are the standard number of reps I do everyday. But the table tennis paddle and the net are new…”

ITL — Why do I get the feeling if we had met in a parallel universe where we were both single and I was into white chicks, you and I would do some very freaky things to each other…?

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I’m out! You guys have a great night. TTYL!

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Dang!! 9 pages!! Sexting is a healthy choice made by two people. Whats wrong with a little spice in your life. Now for the folks that are just desperate and sending unwanted nasty text msg, I say expose them. Tell them thanks for the laugh, send a reply to their FBook account with said txt and watch them drop off the face of the earth.

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