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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Can you unbreak a heart?

I wish there was a way to corral all the bad girls in Atlanta together and make them face the trail of broken hearts they left behind. There are so any wounded men walking around this city. Talk about The Walking Dead – dead inside!

I have heard a lot of horror stories from men who are left bitter, scorned, gun-shy. They tell me they are in no hurry to take a leap of faith on another “pathetic broad” – (That’s right, women often become broads or females post bad breakups).

I have personally had to listen to a man call his ex Satan on our first date. Another, said his ex-wife had no soul. Of course, I sympathize and empathize with broken-hearted men. I have been there before too! I just don’t know if I can handle the challenge of un-breaking a guy’s heart, restoring his faith in women again. It just sounds exhausting! (I’m lazy, I know)

What can you do when you meet someone great but they are not open to anything meaningful because of what the last person did to them? Do you think waiting it out and proving you are different then their ex is a smart move?

Have you ever met someone who is suffering from a heartbreak, yet they want still want to date you and see where it goes?

Did you ever go through a bitter phase? How did you get through it? Did you put dating on the back burner or were you actively seeking a rebound person?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

597 comments Add your comment

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
11:06 am

LOL……..@Leggs I’m hot nature, shoot when it’s 75 outside I complain about it being hot.

disco

July 26th, 2012
11:07 am

kimmie/slim – re 62 year old keeping the faith. I wish her the best. goodness knows I’ve heard and read stories of folks marrying later. still, not to be all negative, I’ve seen folks die unmarried. I always wonder if they never wanted to marry or never had the opportunity. It makes me think of how everyone has a story.

celisea – re old boy’s daughters being black. I have a friend (non-black) who was married to and had two children with a black man. they divorced. her ex-husband is the type who just out and out doesn’t date black women at all. after her divorce she decided she was just plain through with black men. she has since remarried a white guy. I told her that, in my opinion, she and her ex-husband were both sending their “black” children a very serious message that black people obviously aren’t good enough. her response was that she’d never thought of it that way.

Celisea....just agreeing today :)

July 26th, 2012
11:09 am

disco – I agree 150% in sending a message to your (black) children that black isn’t good enough if all you ever seek are people outside of your own race.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
11:10 am

kimmie ~ I agree on the stank attitude with Chad. He’s cocky, corny, stuck on self and strokes his own ego (constantly). Just like Terrell Owens. Hope he fares better than Terrell.

ThirdWheel

July 26th, 2012
11:16 am

LOL! Thanks Slim and Kimmie!! I’m just not getting my hopes up anymore! I see I tend attract guys that need help….

kimmie

July 26th, 2012
11:19 am

Leggs/Cel – With stank dudes like Chad & TO, whatever other races they want can have them. They can decide to hook up with green aliens for all I care. Somebody else’s problem to deal with, not mine!LOL!!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
11:21 am

Leggs I don’t go calling folks out on ugly but that gal TO has a child with is just that. He didn’t look at the woman in court the other day and she said he haven’t seen the child in years. And he’s a daddy of more children what a way to be a dad.

Celisea....just agreeing today :)

July 26th, 2012
11:22 am

Kimmie – Less crap for us to have to deal with if they all (that feel that way), migrate to the race they so desire…lol I wish we could do a sweep of all those attitudes and get rid of them at once…lol I’ve always been like you don’t want me? You won’t EVER have to worry about me. Ever!

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
11:22 am

On the OchoCinco/On Topic note~ Have you guys seen this movie “Diary of a Tired Black Man”?

disco

July 26th, 2012
11:22 am

kimmie – as with Wesley snipes we’ll just vote those other jokers on over to the other side. can we take away some benefits when they crossover? perhaps keep them from being able to use cocoa butter? lol. okay, I’m being silly.

kimmie

July 26th, 2012
11:24 am

3rd – Girl, needy men prey on women they think have low self-esteem. Sometimes you have to “fake it till you make it” so you don’t give off that energy. When they see a confident 3rd at peace with herself, they’ll know you are not the one and go bother someone else. People like to say opposites attract, when I think it’s more “same attract same”. A positive, together individual will more likely attract and be attracted to more of the same!

kimmie

July 26th, 2012
11:26 am

disco – Take away not only cocoa butter, but shea butter, olive oil butter…. the list goes on!LOL!!!!

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
11:27 am

I see I tend to attract guys that need help….

We probably all have, but recognize it and K.I.M. Just because they’re attracted to you doesn’t mean you have to be a magnet and have them stuck to you. Shoo pesky one, shoo….

disco

July 26th, 2012
11:32 am

well alright kimmie. since you took the bait. I say we keep possession of all hair care products and accessories. no do-rags or stocking caps for them. we also get to keep hot sauce. any of you see dave chappelle’s racial draft. that man’s a nut.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
11:35 am

I think we should let them have their hot sauce. White people use hot sauce, but doubt they use cocoa butter.

SlimUno

July 26th, 2012
11:37 am

disco – Let’s send the Tussy products with them too :lol:

Ray Charles to the BS

July 26th, 2012
11:38 am

Lol..I need Happy Hour. Is it too early for a Margurita?

disco

July 26th, 2012
11:40 am

leggs – then can we keep the lawry’s seasoning salt? red kool aid? something? alright. I do need a topic change. lol. anybody got anything?

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
11:41 am

Whatever you do, don’t take the Vaseline. Wesley might need that in his current accomodations…

Celisea....just agreeing today :)

July 26th, 2012
11:41 am

disco – I decided to hold back and not switch up. It’s only fair to allow folks to post their thoughts and opinions. I don’t have anything but if you got something toss it out there.

Celisea....just agreeing today :)

July 26th, 2012
11:42 am

Not that I do that on purpose…lol Just the way the flow goes.

disco

July 26th, 2012
11:43 am

C – I agree. folks can post whatever. on topic, off topic, personal issues. I’m having a slow day. all I want is for folks to post. help a sister out.

comon – good one.

i'm swiss

July 26th, 2012
11:45 am

Hey now, hold up a minute… I need that hot sauce. And I use the do rags as headbands for tennis. Can a whiteboy get an exemption up in here? ;)

Morning, folks!

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
11:50 am

Well, disco, here you go~ personal issue and since I don’t know any of you, I will solicit your opinion. ;)

To make this short:

I lived with someone for 4 yrs. We broke up in Mar 2002. Met the now ex husband in Jul 2002. We got married 8 weeks after meeting (yeah, he was the rebound guy). In Jan 2005 he says he wants an open marriage. I left. Date someone briefly. Friends sart telling me the husband is miserable without me, blah blah blah. I go back in Nov 2005. Agree to open marriage. He sleeps around; I don’t. Daughter is born in Sep 2006. Finally get sick of it in summer 2010 and start preparing to leave. Left in Apr 2011. Reconnect with old BF. Divorce final Aug 2011. Remarried Jan 2012. Ex husban paternity tests daughter in May 2005. She’s not his. He is accusing current husband of being the father (which he is not) and is suing me for custody.

The question is: He has been verbally abusive and posted LOTS of random threats on FB. I am contemplating terminating his rights. Opinions?

disco

July 26th, 2012
11:50 am

hey swiss – you get an all access pass.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
11:51 am

What are your needs/wants for today? Anyone?

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
11:54 am

DAYUM, Comon Cents. You definitely didn’t use common sense. And, he’s not the father. Man, if you were on Maury the entire audience would have had their mouths wide open in shock!

And, why do women agree to an open marriage when they don’t want one. Never a sure fire way of keeping your man.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
11:54 am

Ok, people, come out of your shock and weigh in (lol).

Thanks for sharing, Comon!

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
11:54 am

Sorry May 2012 on the paternity test.

disco

July 26th, 2012
11:56 am

comon – is it an open marriage if only one partner is “open”? well, I guess technically it is since you gave the go ahead. I’ll stay in my lane on that one. if he’s not the father he can kick rocks suing for custody as far as I’m concerned.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
11:57 am

I go back in Nov 2005. Agree to open marriage. He sleeps around; I don’t. Daughter is born in Sep 2006.

Then how did you become pregnant???

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
11:58 am

Leggs: I got pregnant while we were apart. When they changed her due date, I knew he wasn’t her fater and (obviously) on some level he did too. Even though he is not the father, he is attempting to remain in her life (but he doesn’t want to pay child support. Ain’t that rich?!?)

I think I agreed to the open marriage because at that point I just didn’t care. I think I knew the marriage was going to end then, I just had to plot my escape.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
11:59 am

Nevermind, you had to be pregnant before going back to him in Nov. 2005.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
11:59 am

LOL…I did the math, Comon.

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
12:00 pm

Clarification: the guy I was dating while we were apart is her father. He knows he is her father (He and I are friends. He is actually her Godfather. He has since gotten married and his wife does not know about our daughter and it would be complicated to explain so we have left him out of this equation)

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
12:01 pm

Disco: Yea, it was open. Whenever he “did his thang” I knew what he was doing.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
12:01 pm

Gotcha, Comon. Like Katie Holmes proved, planning/plotting may be necessary.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
12:03 pm

He’s her Godfather as a ruse to cover things up? Wow. That’s a new one for me.

kimmie

July 26th, 2012
12:05 pm

I don’t know what to say except you didn’t use much common sense, Comon Cents. Sorry just could not resist it!

Anyway, yeah agree with Leggs about the open thing. That’s not a marriage. One may have fun for awhile(whomevers idea it was) but after a point it should get old(or they get old). Just asking for mess even agreeing to it.

Sounds like the only issue is the legal. Let the attorneys and the courts handle. Get you good, mean attorney that will pull out all the stops.

disco

July 26th, 2012
12:05 pm

common – well it sounds like he’s attempting to use the kid to keep tabs on you. he may not be ready to let you go and if he gets visitation with the kid, he gets visitation with mommy. nip it all in the bud. terminate his rights and you and your baby get on with your lives. now the game you are playing with the father/godfather is a little more tricky. if he knows but won’t claim her openly what kind of friend is he really? if he’s your friend – like you say – there’s a chance that wifey will see said child. what happens when one day she looks like/acts like him and wifey figures it out? you have a lot going on. as leggs said – thanks for sharing.

SlimUno

July 26th, 2012
12:12 pm

WoW, let me gather my thoughts

Bluzgirl

July 26th, 2012
12:13 pm

On topic: I’ve been in two serious relationship where the men seemed to be “ruined” because of an ex. Both of them were very bitter. I think I held onto hope that they would learn that I’m not the ex and get over it. WRONG!!! I’ve been hurt by several men in my past and I refuse to get bitter about love. Let’s hope the next man I fall for is not a wounded little boy! I’m tired of those!!!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
12:17 pm

Common Cents let me chime in, old hubs want to stay with you because you allowed him the freedom to check in with other women. He knows it is unlikely another woman is going to agree to him sleeping with folks. You gave him the green light for a double life style and he wants to keep it that way.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
12:20 pm

Bluz you’ve got some fire in you stay strong you’ve come a long ways.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
12:21 pm

Just a hot, lumpy bed of coals….

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
12:23 pm

On the father/Godfather thing: We have discussed it and I feel that at some point she will want to know who her father is and he and I have both written her letters discussing what happened and why we made the decisions that we made. (They are in a safety deposit box for her) I feel that it is an on him to discuss the situation with the wife (not my place). I am friendly (we see each other socially ocasionally) with the wife. IDK that she would figure he is the father because my daughter looks and acts like me. (She actually took very little from her father except skin tone)

Legally, I am planning on filing the petition to terminate his rights but apparently that is an uphill battle in Georgia. She has a strong male role model in the step-dad and they are very close.

Disco: The point about keeping tabs on me seems to be the general consensus among my friends and family. He is in another relationship, but apparently spends all of his time marinating on what I’m doing, whether I am happy in my marriage, etc. (Which is what led me to my answers about today’s topic)

Into the Light

July 26th, 2012
12:24 pm

I use hot sauce. And a bloody mary is not complete without seasoned salt on the rim. AND I use cocoa butter. AND I have a gallon of tropical punch Kool-aid in my refrigerator right now.

Hmph. Please miss me with all that racial profiling mess, food or otherwise.

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
12:25 pm

BF~ Funny you should say that; I was surprised by the number of people we met who were into that lifestyle and did both permit their partners to sleep around and slept around themselves.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
12:25 pm

Leggs has boss man gone about his business and left you alone. Why don’t they let you use a space heater, do they trip the circuit breakers?

Into the Light

July 26th, 2012
12:26 pm

@Comon Sense: Wow. I don’t have anything to add to what the other bloggers said about your ex, but I am curious about the godfather. Does your daughter know he is her dad? Do you think she has a right to know the truth?